AN: The Untitled Song AU. In this chapter the fire actually happened but Haru changed the events at the price of being haunted by 'memories/dreams' of Tadashi dying in the fire.

Pairing: Haru/Tadashi

Characters age: Haru: 18-Tadashi: 19

Made using the tables of 100-prompts livejournal.


9. Heartbeat

He jolted, sitting upright. His voice lodged in his throat in a choked scream.

Trembling, he moved his knees close to his chest and rested his head between them, hiding his face as he tried to control his racing heartbeat.

Sensing movement next to him, he waited until he heard the soft click of the table light and slowly lifted his face to meet the other occupant on the bed.

"The same dream?" Tadashi spoke softly, reaching a hand out to lightly touch his arm, trying to bring him any kind of comfort.

"Nightmare." Corrected Haru, his voice barely sounding like a whisper and nodded, still shaking and he tightly hugged himself. "Yes, the same one."

As he stared at him worriedly, Tadashi reached out, pushing some of his hair away from his face and pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead before pulling him close in an embrace. Haru stiffened for a few minutes before he slowly relaxed and hugged him tightly, his fingers clenching onto Tadashi's shirt.

"I know. I know it's just a dream but- it was so real." Haru murmured before resting his head on Tadashi's chest, listening to the soft pumping of his heart, a sense of relief filling him.

It was still there. He was still here.

"Want to talk about it?" Resting his chin on top of his boyfriend's head, Tadashi quietly asked, immediately receiving a shake of his head. "I just want to stay like this. Please, I need this."

Leaning his back against the headboard, still holding Haru close to his chest. "We need to talk about this. It's hurting you." He pressed.

"It's only a dream."

"Nightmare." He corrected causing Haru to snort back a laugh. "Exactly."

A few seconds passed before Haru slowly pulled away, pressing the palms of his hands on Tadashi's chest, feeling the heartbeat. "It's about that night." He started. "The fire consumed everything. We were outside but the fire was everywhere and you-" He paused, taking a shaking breath trying to hold back his tears at the memory. "You ran towards it."

"I couldn't stop you."

The words lingered in the air as Tadashi processed the information.

"I don't want to think about this anymore." Haru pressed, tightening his hands into fists on top of Tadashi's chest. "Please, just forget this. I- I want to focus on the present, right now."

"Haru-"

"No, Tadashi. It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real. You are here. I am here." He urged, pulling on his shirt in distress. "But it reminded me how short is our time in this world. The future is uncertain. Maybe tomorrow you won't feel the same for me or maybe the world will end."

"Haru, wait-" Tadashi tried to reason but was interrupted as Haru continued.

"I don't want to regret anything. I don't want to regret not living my life at its fullest. I don't want to regret not loving you like you deserve."

"The love that I deserve?" Tadashi repeated, completely taken aback. "Why do you think that I'm not loved enough?" He inquired while Haru shamefully avoided his gaze.

"Haru- no, Haru look at me." He urged, searching for his gaze before he got exasperated and he firmly but gently held his face when he kept trying to avoid him. "I love you and I know you love me, I can feel it in every second we are together. For God's sake! I can even feel it when we are apart!"

"Don't ever think that your love is not enough."

Tadashi stressed, holding his arms.

"Let's be honest, I'm a mess." Haru took a shaky breath before he could turn into a blubbering mess.

Tadashi only smiled, rubbing his arms comfortingly. "You are not. You just feel things in a different way."

A few tears escaped at the confident way he spoke. "How did I manage to find you?" Haru asked smiling softly at him.

Tadashi let out a soft chuckle before leaning, kissing his eyelids making him smile at the gesture, letting more tears fall which Tadashi softly pushed away.

"I just don't want to regret anything. We both know death very well. Both of our parents were taken away from us. In just a few seconds they were gone. They weren't expecting it at all." His hands clenched on the fabric before slowly releasing it. "You've really thought through this." Tadashi added sadly. "That's how life is and it's beautiful in its own way. Unexpected things tend to happen when we least expect. Remember that's how we met." He added with a smile, gently caressing his hair.

"I never told you, but I was scared. Letting people in meant that they would leave eventually." Haru spoke softly, pressing his face against his neck, placing a gentle kiss there. "Nonetheless, I'm glad I could meet you and I wouldn't change it for anything."

"You better. We will have a problem if you did." Tadashi joked, successfully managing to lighten the atmosphere as Haru let out a soft chuckle and leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you." Haru whispered.

"I know." Tadashi smiled, pressing their foreheads together, looking into his eyes. "Even if you didn't tell me, I would know." He spoke placing gentle kisses across his face. "I love you too." He whispered against his lips before finally kissing him.

Feeling so much love in a single gesture that it almost made him cry, Haru gasped into the kiss, pressing their bodies as closer as he could, lips locked gently but firmly.

This moment and how grateful he was for it being the only thing on his mind.

oOo

It's not healthy to constantly think of what will happen. The future is uncertain. Let's just focus on the present and live the moment.


AN: There are three phrases that managed to really get to me. Hope they are able to get to you as well.

Next prompt: Stranger