So Are You To Me
Part 9:
I thought I'd update on Wednesday since it was CP World Day, but I've been super sick all week, also I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words, living with Cerebral Palsy definitely isn't easy but it's based on hard choices, some my mom and family made for me and some I've made for myself as I grew, so it has its ups and downs but words as kind as those make it all worthwhile so thank you :)
It was the family's last day in The Hamptons. Alexis was yet to tell Rick about her fight with Meredith.
"Good morning sweetheart." Rick said as he spotted Alexis coming out of her room. "Where's Scott?"
"He's sleeping in." She smiled. "I thought I'd let him savour it for a while. Where's Kate?"
"Asleep." Rick said sipping on his cup of coffee. "She's pregnant with triplets after all."
"I know, it's crazy..." She said. "Did you ever think you'd end up having six kids?"
"Nope. Not in a million years. I never thought I'd have even one actually..."
"Really?" She was curious now. "So when you and mom divorced..."
"I've made my choice. So did your mother..."
"Dad?"
"Yes?"
"Why did she leave?" Rick took a moment to think. "The first time?"
"She and I knew what getting a divorce meant. What it would mean for you."
"So you made a choice."
"I made a choice."
"You chose me."
"Alexis, where's is this coming from? Is everything okay?" And she broke. She broke in front of him and cried. She cried like a little girl and Rick held her. "Alexis...What happened?"
"Dad, there's something I need to tell you..."
"Daddy?" Rick had just tucked in his 10 year old daughter, after the two of them had managed to put baby Kyan to bed.
"Yes pumpkin?" He moved to sit on the bed. "What do you need? Another glass of milk?"
"Nope. I'm fine." She gave him a toothy grin. "I was just wondering if mom is going to visit us soon?"
"I don't really know, sweetie." He admitted. "You know she's busy..."
"But you're also busy and you take care of us, me and the baby..."
"Well yeah but we have grandma to help us right?"
"She could too if she came back to live with us." Rick sighed. "If she wanted to."
"Alexis, we've talked about this, your mother and I are divorced, remember, she can't live with us."
"Yeah but she was living with us, before she had the baby, and you and her were still divorced." She remained quiet. "Dad, how come if you and mom weren't married anymore, why did you have a baby?"
Rick Castle wasn't ready to answer that question. How was he going to get out of this one?
"Alexis, I..." He got a hold of her hand. "You know I love you and your brother more than anything, don't you?"
"Yes." The little girl nodded. "I know that daddy."
"Good. And I love your mother too, but she and I, we've decided we are better when we are not together."
"Because you fight and then go into your room and yell some more." Alexis said. Rick blushed. He'd never admit anything further to his 10 year old kid. "And then you make up, right?"
"We try, yes but..."
"Is that why you and mom had another baby?" Alexis asked. "Because you loved each other?"
Rick's eyes went wide.
"I will always love your mother Alexis, for giving me you and your brother, for that I will be grateful."
"But you can't be married anymore, because you are too incompatible as Grams says, because she thinks mom is crazy..." Rick tried not to laugh and then turned serious.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish I could make us a family."
"But we are one dad, us and Kyan and Grams. Our family doesn't seem normal, but it's not like it's wrong. We can do this. And who knows maybe one day, there will be someone else to make our family feel complete again."
"How old are you again?" Castle asked. Alexis smiled. "Good night sweetheart."
"Good night daddy."
"Good morning." Kate said as she reached the kitchen, she stopped cold as she listened to Alexis tell her father about Meredith, she could see how Rick's face expressed so much anguish and confusion.
"Mom?" Kyan stood behind her. "I'm hungry and Wash needs his walk." He then glanced at Alexis and Rick. "What's wrong?"
Kate sighed. "Ky, buddy I need you to listen to me for a second, please?"
"Are the babies okay?" Oh her sweet boy.
"Yes, they're fine buddy." She touched his cheek. "Right now I need you to do me a favor and check on Lily, please?"
"She's sleeping."
"I know that buddy, but..."
"Ky?" It was Rick. "Kate?" She sighed.
"Hey buddy, do you want some breakfast?" Alexis cleaned her face. "I bet you're hungry."
"Can we have waffles?" He asked.
"Sure." She smiled. Alexis shared a look with Rick. He looked at Kate. "Come sit and you can help me." Ky moved slowly toward the kitchen island as Alexis pulled a chair for him.
"Rick..."
"Let's just go outside for a second okay?" He asked. "Guys, mom and I are going to take Wash for a little walk, alright?"
Alexis nodded. She shared a knowing look with her stepmother. "Listen for Lily?"
Kate knew Rick was upset beyond Meredith. "How long have you known?" He watched as the dog walked away after he threw him a ball.
"Rick..." She looked at her husband's eyes and saw pain. "Alexis wanted to tell you, she just didn't know how..."
"But you knew, you've known all week. And you didn't bother to mention it to me."
"Babe, it wasn't my place to tell you any of it. Alexis made the decision to confront Meredith and the situation but she needed to be ready to tell you."
"When she was little and Meredith came back into our lIves, after a few days she'd leave and she'd ask me how long she'd take for her to come back." His eyes seemed lost. As if he was trying to come with an explanation. "And then one day, she just stopped. She didn't ask anymore. Like she accepted her mother wasn't... she wasn't like the other moms and I never pushed it."
"You did wnat you thought was right."
"She never wanted it. Any of it. Alexis or Kyan. She told me she wasn't ready when asked me for a divorce and didn't even fight me for it. She just said I was the better parent. Me."
"And you are babe. You are an amazing parent and your kids love you, that is enough."
"Not for Meredith apparently." He said softly. He turned to Kate. "When Kyan was born, I really thought we'd be a famIly, that she had finally gown and stepped up but I was wrong. They told us he was sick, it was lIke something else clicked inside her. And she couldn't deal with it."
"Shh, buddy, we can't wake up your sister or grandmother, they have an early morning, unlike us boys that can sleep in." Rick had the baby between a barrier of pillows around his son. He was almost seven months old and was smaller than most babies Rick had seen, held, but he was a little fighter. Diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, Rick knew they all had a long way ahead it them and it terrified him, but he knew that unlike Meredith, he was going to do everything he could to make sure his son had the best life possible.
"Daddy?" He heard his little girl say. "Are you up?"
"Alexis sweetheart?" Rick rolled out of bed softly. "What's the matter?"
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay" She said simply. Rick's heart sank . He had come from the hospital once more as they continued to test baby Kyan and Alexis was a aware of everything that was happening around her, hell she was more grown up than Martha and Rick combined. "I know they told you something might be wrong with Kyan."
"Come here," he took her hand and sat on the side of the bed, eyeing Kyan as they went. He placed Alexis on his lap.
"Is it because he's small?" I've seen pictures, he's smaller than other babies."
"Well, yes. There's that and he was born a bit early, more than 's why the doctors are trying to make him stronger."
"Will he be okay?" Rick looked her kid in the eye and tried not to cry.
"It will take a lot of work from everyone. But yes, he will be."
"I know he will be daddy, if we help him, he will. I'll help." She said with such confidence, that he belived her.
He needed to belive her.
"Thank you Alexis, you're such a superstar big sister." He held on to his little girl and hoped.
"Easy there buddy." Rick and Kate came back inside to find Lily had joined her siblings along with Scott.
"Did you have a fight?" Kyan looked at his parents, his eyes focused on them. "Because of me."
"Kyan, sweetheart..." Kate took a step forward.
"Tell me." The boy said. "Is it because she wants to take me away?"
"No one is going anywhere buddy..," Rick said slowly. "I promise. "
"Don't lie!" He put in, he tried getting off the chair too fast and fell. Kate and Rick were quickly at his side.
"Don't lie..." He was crying.
"Baby," Kate touched his head softly. "Listen to me Kyan..."
"Mommy, is he hurt?" Lily asked worriedly.
"No..." He begged. "No..."
Scott was now kneeling next to him. "Buddy, I need you to look at me, alright? Does something hurt?"
"My head." He muttered. "It hurts."
"Alright, okay, now let's get you up and check that bump," Rick and Scott pulled the boy up and unto the couch. "Here, I'll get some ice."
"Quite a spin huh bud?" Rick said softy.
"Can I still go to the pool?"
"I'm sure you can, when you feel better." Rick looked at Kate who was trying to assure Lily, Kyan was alright.
"Here bud, we just have to hold this for a little while,.." Scott told him putting the ice on his head, which he pushed away. "No , no I know it hurts but..."
"Mom..."
"I'm here buddy, give a second, okay?"
"Mommy will make your boo boo better." Lily hurried to his side. "Aren't you mommy?"
Kate sat next to Kyan with a smile and as much movement as his growing bump allowed her.
"Do you feel better?"
Kyan looked at Rick. "I broke a rule didn't I? I yelled."
"Kyan..." Alexis had joined them on the couch.
"I'm sorry, I'm just sad because I don't want to go away, I googled England, dId you know it's always cloudy?" They all looked at each other.
"Yes, I've been there, actually." Kate admitted.
"With daddy?"
"No, not with daddy, with a friend, when I was about Alexis's age." Lily's eyes widened.
"Wnat was his name?" Rick asked suddenly.
"Who said it was a guy?" Rick raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, you are right it's too crowded and it doesn't have pizza."
"They don't have pizza?" Kyan looked at her in awe .
"Well, not like New York pizza," Rick told him.
"That's good pizza." Kyan agreed with a soft smile. "Can we get some when we get home?" Kate smiled.
"Sure. Feeling any better?" Rick asked.
"Almost." He said softly. Castle saw Kate wince.
"Kate?"
"Hey buddy, do you want to feel something really cool?" Kyan nodded. She grinned and grabbed his hand, placing it on her belly.
"Can I too mommy?" Lily asked.
"Sure." She said. "Here."
They kicked and Kyan withdrew his hand. "It's okay bud, it's just the babies. It's fine."
"What are they doing?" He asked curiously.
"They're kicking buddy," Rick explained. "They are excited to meet us."
"I'm too. Although they'll cry a lot." He admitted. "And poop."
"Well babies do that." Alexis said.
"That's good, cause if I go it means you guys won't stay alone, right?"
What did you guys think? Thanks for reading!
