Chapter 6 - - - Provenance . . . Part 2
Golden eyes stared down at pale fingers, intertwined with their counterparts as the sides of their hands were placed on a cool surface, thumbs tapping against one another in a silent beat. Silence loomed over the members of the household, all attention fixated on Cinder as she mulled over Roman's words.
Despite how long they have all lived together and the amount of time the other's had worked under Cinder, she still had difficulty putting faith and trust in them. The idea of any one of them eager to stab her in the back given the chance to save themselves lingered in her mind, whispering in her ear that betrayal was easy to come. It wasn't until recently during the past few months though, that their loyalty was tested and were forced to live with her while she was at her worst. Not once did they blame her or Ruby for leaving, brushing it off their shoulders instead with understanding. Those who had truly suffered, were the other members of the organization and the White Fang, but even then they seemed to understand (though also knew it was not a justification) why Cinder was acting the way she did. If Roman, Mercury, Emerald, and Neo were all willing to stay with her despite her acting as so, then their loyalty ran much deeper than she had expected.
And… Maybe it was time for her to tell them of her plan.
"I… wanted to be feared." Cinder began, closing her fingers around each other as everyone gave her his or her utmost attention and silence. "I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be powerful… I wanted the world to crumble into pieces, because the world gave me nothing." She said through gritted teeth, closing her eyes as she remembered that feeling of loneliness, the feeling of helplessness, of being useless, of being unwanted every time she was cast aside that she had gone through half of her life by.
She had grown in a cold and quiet house, with unloving parents who hardly spared a glace her way when they were there. With so little interaction and constantly being ignored, it was only natural that Cinder would grow to be rather apathetic. School was not much better as every other child parted from her, scared of the lack of emotion displayed on her face. Teachers wouldn't call on her as they figured she wanted to be left alone. When she came home from school, there was never a greeting, and no matter how many times she would try to speak to them, only silence would answer back. Her parents would sometimes get up to leave, the only indication that they heard her, but simply did not care to talk to their daughter and as they did so, they would never look at her. It was as though she wasn't even there.
Maybe, once upon a time, they had cared for her, maybe even spoke to her, but that fleeting image was quick to disappear in the face of dominant memories of their negligence. Which is why… it was no surprise to her 10 year old self when she one day came home to an empty house.
There was no note or indication of his or her previous presence. Nothing.
They just… left.
So Cinder did too. She had no business in an empty house and seeing as she had no other belongings, it was easy to abandon the building.
For the next few days, she had simply wandered the streets. The nearby orphanages wouldn't take her in, as they were already over crowded. She had tried stopping by restaurants or stores, asking if she could have any spare food, but was always met a gesture to shoo her away and never a solid reason as to why.
It was only at the end of the week when Cinder's stomach was aching from hunger that she had considered digging through the garbage to get food. Before she could even open garbage bin though, she felt a hand placed on her shoulder, causing her to whirl around to face a scruffy looking woman with black hair.
Cinder didn't get to question or even react before a paper bag with food was thrust into her arms.
"Eat." The woman ordered.
The smell of food wafting up into her nostrils and the warmth of it through the bag thawed the stiffness out of her trembling cold hands was so enticing, that she didn't even bother to be suspicious of this strange woman. With her stomach rumbling from the scent, Cinder tore open the bag and wolfed down the burgers that had been inside.
"Slow down, otherwise you'll upset your stomach." The woman cautioned as she took a seat by Cinder.
The young child barely registered the woman's words, but was able to force herself to listen and slow down in her eating.
The woman waited until Cinder had finished eating to ask, "Why are you out here kid?"
Cinder blankly looked up at the woman before looking down to the ground. "Parents left." She muttered
The woman showed a fraction of a frown, but brought the corners of her mouth back into its' neutral state. "There isn't anyone else to take care of you?"
"No." Cinder replied. Both of her parents had no siblings, and both sets of grandparents had already passed away, so there wasn't anyone for her to go to. A fleeting thought came across her mind, causing Cinder to look back up at the woman, though still with a blank face. "Can you?"
The woman seemed to hesitate for a moment, but whatever thought she had was quashed in an instant, as she replied with a simple, "No."
Cinder seemed to shrug the denial off, as though she had expected the answer. "Okay."
The woman gave a contemplative frown at that answer as she looked at Cinder, inspecting her face for any indication of the woman's words having negative impact. There was nothing though; not a twitch down from the corners of her mouth, no sign of eyes welling, no shaky breath, nothing. Cinder had accepted that answer as fact and for some reason that made the woman feel even worse than if Cinder had reacted, because it was as though the child had already given up on life.
"Listen kid… I'm sorry I can't take care of you, but I have too many of my own problems to be looking after someone. And I know that you don't have anyone to do that for you, but that doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself." The woman began, "You need to stay strong, survive – you need to show those people who left you that you would not end up alone like they expected, because you were worth something. And they didn't see that."
"How?" Cinder asked plainly.
"Well…" The woman paused to think about it. There was one option, but the woman didn't exactly want to point the child down that path. She was just… too young to be a mercenary… Though as the woman looked back at the child, seeing nothing but dead and dull eyes, she figured it might be better for Cinder to live from contract to contract. At the very least, it would give her a sense of purpose to live, even if it's just for a short while. "Here, I know a guy that can help you get started with some work. It's not… the best, and you'll have to work hard to prove yourself, but it'll help you get some money."
Cinder shrugged, "Okay" she agreed, anything to prevent her stomach from feeling hunger again.
The woman took her to a rather upscale looking bar on the outskirts of town and introduced Cinder to the bar owner, Xiong, and asked him to help Cinder get started. Although he protested at first, the woman was very persistent. Finally, he relented and said that he would help Cinder by training her at least, provided she show exceptional skill by the end of the month.
It seemed enough to the stranger, as she had given a firm nod and wished Cinder "good luck" before exiting the establishment.
That was the last and only time Cinder had seen the stranger.
Xiong had made it clear to Cinder that he wanted her out as soon as possible, so began putting her through a strict training regimen that… Cinder actually took to rather well.
The bar owner was impressed at the speed Cinder learned, and knew for sure that she would easily obtain contracts.
She didn't disappoint.
As the months went by, the prices for her contracts skyrocketed. She completed each mission cleanly and smoothly. Her employer would pay her, and cast her off to the side immediately after. Regardless, she constantly had a roof over her head, and her stomach never felt that pain of hunger again.
… Or maybe she had become so numb to the world… she couldn't even feel hunger anymore.
Not once did an employer ever thank her or socialize with her, she always stood off to the side, having to watch, steal, kill…
She was a tool, always told and directed to what problem needed to be "fixed"; A mere pawn that could be easily disposed of.
And as the years went by, Cinder began to loathe the concept more and more.
It was only so simple for her thoughts to turn to that of vengeance as her hatred veered its' head toward the world. Her life seemed so unfair, what did she do to deserve such a fate where she was given nothing? Why was it that she was so easily casted aside? Why is it that no one needed her? Wanted her?
… Loved her?
The only times she was called upon it seemed, was for power… Power she was all to willing to lend in hopes that this time, the employer would want to keep her… Hope that was easily crushed.
It was frustrating that no matter what she did; it never seemed enough for someone to want her to stay. How no one would reach out for companionship and how she was easily brushed off whenever she happened to offer to do so.
Even when Roman and Neo offered for the three to stay together, it was out of convenience… Not friendship.
Trading knowledge on certain individuals to obtain money and for power to continue on surviving on a daily basis.
The idea left a bad taste. Just how miserable and cruel does the world have to be that trading knowledge was… convenient to survive? How cruel was it that an individual born with detestable parents, or casted out on the streets, or born with animal traits needed power to survive?
If that was how it is, then Cinder vowed that she would become powerful enough to become a force to be reckoned with. She would become powerful enough for the world to shake upon hearing the barest whispers of her name. She would obtain so much power, that no one would dare cast her aside or forget about her.
The world would have no other choice but to acknowledge her.
Which is why, when someone asking if she wanted a job that would have a huge impact on the world anonymously contacted her when she was 13… It was easy for her to accept.
She didn't bother concerning herself with asking why and how the anonymous person knew how to contact her, but it didn't matter… All Cinder knew was that she would use that person to help her achieve her goal of making the world fall before her.
That was her mindset as she walked toward the designated location for their meeting on Christmas day as the snow gently fell around her. Due to the holiday, everyone had gone indoors to celebrate with their family and loved ones, leaving the area surrounding her quiet, leaving the only the sound of her feet crunching the snow and her thoughts to accompany her.
"E-ex-cuse me!"
The words were croaked out, the voice cracking at the break in the first word, but the sudden break of silence still caused Cinder to snap her head up and instinctually whirl around in surprise, eyes glancing around as she searched for the source. When she didn't find anyone around her to speak to, she huffed. Her breath fogged up into the air while she dug her hands into her coat pockets as she turned around to continue on her way.
She didn't even take one step before she felt a light tug on her pants, halting her movements.
Once again startled, Cinder glanced down at her leg to find the source. Only to see a dirty little girl, her clothing and red cloak were worn and tattered, seemingly too big for her small, skinny body, and her face was smeared with dirt making her already pale features so much more prominent, but what captured Cinder's attention… were the little girl's wide and curious silver eyes that were staring up at her as though she were the next wonder of the world.
The sight itself though, was already a peculiar thing and Cinder had to wonder why she was being spoken to, so with an arch of an eyebrow, she asked, "Yes…?"
The acknowledgement seemed to make the child happy as white teeth flashed a smile between blue tinged lips toward the teen, "I-I'm R-Ruby Sh-Sha-ow W-Wlong." She stuttered over her name through chattering teeth, "Wh-What's your name?"
"Cinder…" The teen stated cautiously, warily looking at the freezing child. Why was she out there? Where was her family?
The cold didn't seem to deter Ruby though, as she gave a bright grin to Cinder. "C-Can you h-help me l-look for heaven?" She weakly asked in a near whisper.
Cinder's eyebrows shot up in question before she looked around, hoping someone would come by and save her from socializing with this naïve child. As expected though, no one came forth from the empty space surrounding the two of them. Cinder sighed as she looked back down at the red hooded girl warily, "You mean Haven? If so, you have a long way to go kid."
Ruby huffed, her body was so cold though… that her breath did not even fog up in the air, "No." She firmly said, "I-I mean Heaven." She proclaimed as she pointed up to the sky.
Cinder stared at the child, slowly casting her gaze up to the dark, cloudy sky, and brought her gaze back down. "… Why?" She asked out of curiosity.
Ruby tried to puff her chest out in pride, though it made an awkward sight as it only made her clothing slide around her body from the sudden change. "T-To be with m-my mommy!" She answered, "Uncle, P-Papa, a-and Y-Yang said m-mommy w-went to heaven. B-But P-Papa is sad b-because sh-she's gone and I-I miss her, so I-I'm going so I-I can be with h-her."
Cinder stared at Ruby for a moment, before a laugh erupted from her chest at the absurdity of the child's naivety.
"Wh-what's so funny?" Ruby pouted, her purple bottom lip jutting out.
"Little red," Cinder chuckled, her laugher dying down before she gave a serious look to the child. If no one was going to tell her now, Cinder might as well take the job before the world crushes someone this naïve. "Heaven doesn't exist."
Ruby pursed her lips in disapproval, "Y-Yes it does! Y-You take it b-back! Heaven d-does exist! I-It does!"
Cinder frowned, narrowing her eyes at the child. "No. It doesn't." She gritted.
"Does too!" Ruby persisted
"Does not." Cinder reiterated
"Does too!"
"Does not."
"Does too! Does too!" Ruby continued, this time with a weak stomp of her foot that barely even made the snow crunch beneath it.
"No! It does not!" Cinder stated, her voice rising to disturb the air around them as she had enough of this childish foolishness. "Your family lied to you! There is no heaven, it doesn't exist!" Cinder had long ago casted away the thought of a higher being, of a higher place, because if there was one, then she was certain that she would not have led such a lonely life. "Your mom didn't go anywhere, she died! Which means she's gone forever and is never coming back! Ever!"
Silver eyes welled up at being shouted at, but Ruby refused to back down. "Y-You're the l-liar!" Her yell barely near at normal levels of speaking, "Heaven does exist! E-Everyone goes there! P-Papa said so! H-He s-said that everyone that is l-loved goes there after they d-die! A-And I L-Love my mommy! S-So she has to be there!"
The proclamation shook Cinder to the core, as her own amber eyes welled up. She may not have believed in a God, or a heaven, but the idea of some far away paradise that could only be reached by having someone love another… was just too sad for her, because she knew that if such a place existed… She would never get to meet it.
Ruby seemed to have noticed the change in Cinder's demeanor, as her own shoulders slouched a little to calm down as she looked up at the teen with worry. "H-Hey. Wh-What's wrong?" She asked, her head tilting to the side. "W-Why are you sad?"
Cinder gritted her teeth and clenched her fists in annoyance from being caught. "I'm not sad." She denied, though her eyes still thickened with water as they threatened to fall.
"Yes you are!" Ruby insisted with a frown, her own eyes mirroring Cinder's. Though she had no shame in showing it. "B-but that's okay, b-because I'm s-sad too." And as though they were given permission, Ruby's tears began to trail down her face.
Cinder watched a lone tear fall from the corner of the child's eye, before meeting silver irises. "Why are you sad?" She asked, not entirely sure why she did though.
"B-Because y-you're sad." Ruby answered simply, her voice hitching at the end.
The overwhelming sense of compassion that was sent her way caused a knot to form in Cinder's chest and her tears to fall as her knees began to shake. It was only a few seconds later when a sob broke out of her throat as her legs gave out and caused her to collapse to the cold ground.
Never in her life had anyone paid so much attention to her, to feel sad with her, to cry for her.
Her tears fell faster, and her nose began to run even more so when Ruby decided to climb in to her lap to hug her, crying into her shoulder as well in comfort. For years, Cinder had longed for contact such as this, that she could not help but wrap her arms around the tiny girl in a firm embrace, and bury her face into the dirty crook of Ruby's pale and bony neck.
… But Cinder did not mind, as she relished this seemingly loving gesture.
It took several minutes of crying to pass, until she began to calm down. Leaning back to look into Ruby's eyes, she slid her hands at Ruby's frail shoulders to keep her in place and rubbed them comfortingly, hoping it would be enough to keep the child there. "You don't even know why I'm crying…" Cinder stated with a watery chuckle.
"Y-You're crying b-because you're sad…" Ruby stated, punctuating it with a light sniffle.
Cinder let out another light laugh. The little girl was so simple, so straightforward… and much too kind and compassionate. "Do you want to know why I'm sad Ruby?"
The child nodded slowly.
"I'm sad because… If heaven exists, then I won't go there…" The teenager said with a sad smile.
"… But why?"
"Because…" Cinder sighed, "I've done some bad things, like hurt people and because, no one loves me. So I won't be able to go there."
Ruby stared at the older girl, letting the information sink in. Once it did, she let out a wail as loud as she could.
Startled at the sudden cry, Cinder worriedly ducked her head down to get a closer look at Ruby, barely tightening her grip on Ruby's shoulders. "Ruby? What's wrong?"
"I-It's just… so sad." Ruby hiccupped, her shaky blue hands coming up to her face as she wiped her tears from her eyes. "Everyone needs love… Everyone."
"It's okay, I'm used to it…" Cinder softly said with a sad smile, bringing her own hand up to brush some of Ruby's hair off to the side.
"No!"
"No?" Cinder asked confused.
"I-If no one loves you, th-then I will! She stated with determination, throwing her small arms and herself around Cinder as hard as she could to give her the hardest hug she could muster.
The proclamation shocked Cinder, as it was all she ever wanted in her life, that she couldn't help but allow her tears to fall once again as she wrapped her arms around the frail body.
The feelings of happiness overwhelmed her, making her body feel warm and giddy against the cold and gloomy weather. To be specific though, those past few minutes of conversing with Ruby, made her feel so many different emotions that she never felt before, emotions that she could never comprehend. And now that she had felt them, now that she was being given the hand of being loved…
She refused to let it go.
Which is why, it was only natural for Cinder to ask Ruby to promise to stay with her in a near desperate tone. For whatever reason, Ruby happily agreed, but it didn't matter, as Cinder would have someone to love her and to love in return.
So she thought as they began walking back to Cinder's apartment.
During the walk, Ruby had collapsed into the snow. The child was so light that she didn't make any sound with her steps, and Cinder didn't realize it until the grip in her hand loosened and slipped out.
Her heart seized in her chest upon seeing Ruby on the ground, dazedly starring at nothing in particular, slowly moving back and forth and showing mostly the white of her eyes as her breaths were slow and shallow. Her lips, ears, and fingers seemed bluer than before as she simply laid on stomach in the snow.
"Ruby?!" Cinder shouted, kneeling down to her side as she gently rolled her onto her back.
The lack of response made Cinders heart sink more as she hurriedly pulled her leather glove off of a hand and brought the back of her palm to Ruby's forehead.
It was cold… The temperature emitting from her forehead was much colder than it should be.
The tightness in Cinder's chest grew bigger at the prospect of losing someone she had just obtained.
Why didn't Cinder notice it before?! The lack of heat rising into the cold air from Ruby's breath, the blue lips, the blue fingers… Furthermore, Ruby was far too light, much too skinny. Clothes that seemed to fit the average child were loose and baggy on her… Her cheeks were sunken in, her collarbones much more noticeable than it should be for a child…
How long had Ruby been out in the cold? How long had she gone without food?
… How long did she have left until death would take her?
Cinder gritted her teeth as she quickly took her gloves slid them over Ruby's blue fingers. Following soon after, Cinder unbuttoned her coat and wrapped it around the little girl before gathering Ruby into her arms and lifting her off the ground. Cinder would not allow Ruby to be taken away from her, not now when she had just felt what unconditional love was like…
So she hurriedly ran back to the apartment, demanding Roman and Neo to help her nurse Ruby back to health. Cinder allowed Ruby to take her bed, ensuring to make the temperature gradually change so the child's body could adapt to it. She made sure to help the weak child eat soup, gently holding her up and slowly letting the fluid slip down Ruby's throat. And for the first time… Cinder prayed, no, begged destiny to save Ruby. She did all this every day, with the occasional help from Roman and Neo until Ruby seemed healthy enough once more.
Though, Cinder's relief was short lived as Ruby had gone missing that same day. Thankfully, Neo had found her that same day, but unfortunately Ruby's long exposure to the cold weather made her return to being bedridden.
When finally, Ruby was healthy enough to be up, moving about, and content with her selection of personal belongings and entertainment that Cinder had acquired for her, did relief finally settled.
Roman seemed intent on shaking it though one day as they were all gathered around the small living room and playing a board game with Ruby. "Ruby… Why were you outside by yourself before Cinder found you?" he asked in a soft, gentle tone, as though afraid if he spoke any louder or harshly, Ruby might run away.
It had been decided, after much insistence, that Roman would question Ruby on her background. He stated that they had to know in case she did have a family that was out looking for her
"Looking for my mom." Ruby answered, her voice as clear as a bell.
"What about your other family?" Roman asked, worriedly glancing over to Cinder who was chewing the inside of her cheek. "You told Cinder here that you have an…" Roman swallowed hard as his voice started to become shaky. "Uncle, Dad, and… a sister?"
Ruby frowned, her eyebrows furrowing together in confusion as she looked up in thought. "I don't remember…" She answered.
The three teens seemed relieved at that, though worriedly glanced at each other once again.
"Her memory must have been affected during the time she was malnourished and in hypothermia…" Cinder stated, causing Roman and Neo to nod in agreement.
"We'll have to find and check up on her family…" Roman said. "See what's going on."
Cinder nodded in approval, but her attention was brought back to Ruby as she spoke.
"So I don't have a family?" Ruby asked with a small pout.
Cinder found that she didn't like seeing Ruby sad, so she tried her best to reassure her. "We don't know," Cinder said, slightly wincing at how awkward it sounded. "But, tell you what, I can take care of you for as long as you want." She said with a small smile.
Ruby turned her gaze to Cinder, "Like… a sister?"
The title warmed Cinder, causing her smile to widen as she nodded. "Yes. Like a sister."
To make it official, Ruby threw herself toward Cinder, wrapping a much stronger hug around her than on the first day, a giggle of joy accompanying this hug instead of a sob.
Cinder cherished it.
After that, it didn't take long after for a routine to start forming with Ruby. The apartment that was cold and silent before, turned bright and filled with laughter with Ruby always being the source. She had no qualms roping someone in to playing, talking, or reading with her, though it was mostly spent with Cinder as she was able to afford not to work during the day.
Any time Cinder spent with Ruby, the warm feeling of happiness rose up no matter what, so acting silly around her new little sister just came to her naturally. At the same time, Cinder found herself being very protective of Ruby, whether it is a simple stumble to the ground or a stranger talking to her, Cinder was quick to rush to Ruby's side.
The protective feeling made Cinder realize something though. Now that she had someone to love and cherish, someone who easily returned the sentiments, the world could no longer fall into ruin before her. Someone like Ruby would never be able to make it through such a place.
At the same time though… Cinder worried that the world she grew up in, that Roman and Neo grew up in, the cold, ruthless, and unfair world as it is would crush Ruby.
Cinder could not let that happen… She refused to allow it. But to do that, she still needed power, she still had to show the world that she was a force to be reckoned with.
… She had to make the world kneel before her, ready to accept any whimsical order she would cast in its' direction. It would turn into her kingdom.
But what is a kingdom without an army?
Recruiting members to her cause seemed much more simpler than it should have been, as Cinder was able to gratify to those who led unfortunate lives. Whether it be providing; a roof over their head, food, water, solitude, companionship… the basic necessities of living, and her army grew and grew as months passed. Talking to Adam, the leader of the White Fang, seemed much too easy as well as she had told him of her plan. Though, once more, it did not take much convincing so long as the Faunus obtained equality, but Cinder was certain, had Ruby not been with her that day asking, playing, and sharing food with the other Faunus, Cinder might have had more difficulty convincing Adam.
It seemed all too simple, but perhaps it was meant to happen. Other mercenaries that Cinder had worked with, gangs she had a run with, assassins, contacts, they were all ready to topple the kingdoms that did nothing to help them. Everyone was angry at the world for giving them so much pain, that it was time to take fate into their own hands. It was time that they stood on top of those who stepped all over them. It was time, that they made all the other kingdoms succumb before them, and build a new one where they would get the treatment they deserve.
"And that… is the plan." Cinder said in a foreboding tone, her hands still calmly resting against the countertop.
Roman, Emerald, Mercury, and Neo all stared at Cinder in silence with wide eyes. The air around them seemed unmoving as Cinder calmly sipped her forgotten beverage. It wasn't until Roman broke the silence by filling it with a maniacal laugh.
Slowly after, the rest began to follow with much quieter versions, thus confusing Cinder.
"This is insane! Taking over the world!" Roman stated lightly smacking his forehead with the heel of his palm as his laughter slowly died down. "If it were anyone else, I would think they were out of their minds. But with you… With you it's definitely possible." He said, voice growing serious as everyone else nodded in agreement.
Cinder allowed a small smirk to show on her face, pleased that the four of them approved of her plan. Though, if she were more honest, she would have shown her relief.
"I'm ready!" Ruby sang as she came bounding down the stairs in her usual Grimm looking garb and made everyone turn their heads toward her grin.
Everyone's features softened upon the sight of her. Her large and bright smile that reached up to wide silver eyes that always looked at them filled with unconditional love and wonder.
It was a reminder to them that with her, even the most impossible things seemed possible to them.
AN: Sorry this isn't as long or if it seemed pretty boring. ;_; I also apologize for taking so long to update this story _ It got really busy for me and I couldn't focus on it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy Cinder's version of the prologue and the revelation of the plan!
