Some Months Later...
Kili loved both his brothers dearly, of course he did. They had grown up together, they were one another's play mates, confidents and advisors. However, despite the love he felt for both Bilbo and Fili, ever since the formers return the mountain that love had been tainted with jealousy.
It was no secret that Fili was Thorin's heir, they had known since childhood and Kili didn't care. He had no desire to be king and was quite content to be his brothers advisor when Thorin eventually stepped down as king. Of course, they needed to retake Erebor before that became an issue but they all knew they would one day.
It was only after Bilbo's return that the full weight of this really hit him.
Thorin had been a father to all of them, he had always done his best to be equal and fair, never playing favorites and giving credit where credit was due. But since Bilbo's return he had been spending most of his time with the Hobbit, teaching him smithing and giving various lessons. Time that wasn't spent with Bilbo was spent with Fili, teaching him matters of court that Kili need not learn yet.
As the weeks passed Kili became more and more sure that with Fili as his heir and Bilbo as his favorite son, he was the least loved.
The Dwarf tried not to let these thoughts affect them. It wasn't as if he was ignored completely, or that Thorin was actively trying to make him feel left out, it was simply how life was. He knew Bilbo and Fili loved him and that they never thought themselves better, so he let it slide. That was until the day they were sparing in the clearing outside the mountain.
It was a hot day by Blue Mountain standards, the sun was beating down and all three of them were panting and sweating terribly after only a few minutes. By the time they'd been practicing for an hour Bilbo was flushed and exhausted.
"Can't we take a break?" He breathed, fanning himself, making his braids flow back slightly.
That's when Kili noticed it, a small brown wooden bead on the same braid as they three he'd made Bilbo before his trip.
"What's that?" He asked, feeling anger begin to boil to the surface.
"The bead?" Bilbo asked, "Oh it was a gift from my best friend Hamfast, a Hobbit from the Shire."
"Best friend?" Kili agued, "I thought we were your best friends."
"Well you are of course but Hamfast-"
"Why did you put it on the same braid as the ones I made you!?" Kili demanded.
"Kili, what's wrong?" Fili asked as he jogged up to the pair.
"What's wrong is that Bilbo is replacing us!" Kili growled.
"What? No I'm not." Bilbo shook his head, wiping more sweat from his brow, "Could we go inside, my head's hurting..."
"Why the hell is some stupid Hobbit bead as special as mine?" Kili demanded, "It's not even well made!"
"Don't insult it!" Bilbo argued, "Hamfast carved it for me himself!"
"A stupid Hobbit wouldn't even know what those beads meant!"
"He did I taught him!"
"Why would you bother?!"
"Calm down the both of you!" Fili demanded but both Kili and Bilbo ignored him.
"He's my friend, I can have Hobbit friends you know!" Bilbo yelled, his face now bright red from anger and heat.
"Don't say it like you're not one of them." Kili growled.
"Kili-" Fili warned.
"What?" Kili snapped at him, "Why should we pretend? He's not a Dwarf, he never will be!He's just some little Hobbit who lost his way and Thorin took pity on! He should of stayed in the Shire with that stupid 'Hamfast' because he's never, ever going to be one of us!"
"Kili!" Fili scolded, effectively shutting the Dwarf up with a harsh look.
The two glared at each other for a few tense seconds before Kili turned back to face Bilbo and all the anger drained away quicker than water down a sink.
Bilbo's eyes were shining with tears and he looked as if somebody had just struck him.
Blanched, Kili reached forward but Bilbo flinched away and then turned and fled toward the trees.
"Bili!" Fili called, making to chase after him, turning quickly to face Kili with a thunderous look on his face, "Nice work."
Guilt filled his stomach as he watched Fili disappear after Bilbo into the trees. Perhaps bottling up his jealousy was not the best thing to do after all. Lacking any better ideas he trudged back toward the mountain to await his brothers and the inevitable yelling session from his mother and uncle.
-oOo-
Bilbo felt like his heart had been ripped out.
How could his brother say such things to him?
Did Fili feel the same way deep down?
He could hear Fili calling for him and no doubt chasing him but he didn't slow, despite his small size Bilbo was the fastest of the three and he'd soon shaken his brother. No wanting to be around anybody he clambered up the tree first tall tree he saw and wedged himself between the branches.
"Bili!" Fili called, walking beneath him without noticing.
"Bili, please come out! You know he didn't mean it!"
Eventually Fili moved on, still calling for him but Bilbo didn't move or reply. The sun was still beating down on him despite the shade provided by the leaves, making his headache worse but he still didn't move. The Hobbit continued to sob silently on and off for the next few hours, he'd never been so miserable, the words Kili had said continued to repeat throughout his mind.
Finally the thirst and throbbing in his head became too much to ignore and with shaking hands, the Hobbit began to climb down the tree. His vision wavered slightly but with a deep breath he set off towards the mountain, the sun burning even hotter, or so it felt.
By the time he reached the mountain Bilbo felt positively ill, his head pounded, his stomach was churning, his lips were sore and cracked and his throat and tongue were dry and rough as sandpaper. He had tried swallowing to soothe his throat but his mouth was too dry to do even that.
Luckily for him, Oin's brother was on guard duty at the gate.
"Gloin, I don't feel well." He muttered, unable to raise his voice much higher than a whisper, "Can you take me to your brother, please?"
Ever since his near death experience as a child when he'd contracted the plague from the human village all the Dwarfs close to the royal family had been extra attentive to his health. Gloin picked him up without even asking with a worried look in his face, normally he'd of complained being treated such but Bilbo understood his worry. This was the first time he'd been ill since the plague.
-oOo-
Thorin was towering over both his nephews, despite the fact they were almost fully grown now, their uncle had the amazing ability to make them feel small.
"You're telling me you lost him?" Thorin growled.
"I looked everywhere Uncle, you know Bilbo is the best hider out of all of us." Fili explained, "It's impossible to find him when he doesn't want to be found."
"I am not blaming you Fili." Thorin sighed before glaring at the younger brother, "Kili on the other hand may have some explaining to do."
"I just, I didn't mean any of it I swear." Kili muttered, "I'll say sorry when he comes home."
"What in the world made you say such things in the first place?" Thorin asked harshly, making Kili flinch.
"It's just that..."
"Spit it out!"
"I was jealous alright?!" Kili admitted with a yell, "I was jealous because Bilbo is your favorite and Fili's your heir and I don't have any place of importance! And then Bilbo starts getting chummy with some Hobbit who made him a bead that he wears all the time just above mine. And he starts calling this 'Hamfast' person his best friend instead of us and I just burst alright!?"
The outburst was met with a deafening silence broken only by Kili's ragged breaths. Swallowing nervously the younger Durin shifted his eyes back to the floor. Thorin stepped forward looking grave.
"Kili-"
"Thorin!"
The voice of Gloin interrupted them as he appeared at the door.
"I'm sorry to interrupt,"The Dwarf continued, "But I thought I should inform you that Bilbo is down in the Healing Halls, it seems he's taken ill."
"What!?" Kili exclaimed worriedly.
"Oin's with him." Gloin continued, "He says that it doesn't seem serious, but it will be easier on him to stay in the halls rather than returning here for the night."
Without a word Thorin left the room, no doubt for the Healing Halls, with Kili and Fili close behind. Oin met them at the door to the hall with a reassuring look.
"Relax, Thorin." He smiled, "The lad's come down with a serious bout of heat stroke, nothing more. I've given him enough water to re-hydrate him and a potion for his headache, he'll sleep it off without any issues."
Thorin gave the healer a grateful nod.
"Can I go see him?" Kili asked, "I wont wake him up I promise."
"Alright." Oin relented, "But be quiet!"
-oOo-
As the doctor had told them the Hobbit was asleep with a cool towel on his forehead. Lacking any better ideas Kili sat down next to the cot and just watched his brother breathe.
"I really am so sorry." He murmured, "I didn't mean any of it, I was just being jealous."
"S'okay." Bilbo replied quietly, cracking his eyes open and giving the surprised Dwarf a weak smile.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
"Wasn't asleep yet." Bilbo chuckled, wincing when his head throbbed.
"I'm sorry I was such an idiot." Kili repeated, "I didn't mean any of that stuff I said you have to believe me Bili, I really didn't."
"It's okay, I forgive you." Bilbo sighed, eyes fluttering closed again.
"Get some sleep." Kili insisted, "Oin says you'll feel fine tomorrow."
-oOo-
Kili wasn't surprised when Thorin took him aside once they left the Healing Halls while Fili made his way home. Fully prepared for another scolding he was completely taken by surprise when his Uncle spoke to him softly.
"I do not favor one of you above another." He stated carefully, "I have simply been busy lately and enjoying having Bilbo back with us."
"I know." Kili sighed, "I don't know why I felt the way I did, I knew that deep down..."
"Good." Thorin nodded, "I have always been concerned about this happening."
"You have?" kili blinked in surprise.
"You're the middle son, often those born in the middle feel insignificant, because all the attention goes to the eldest and the youngest."
Kili nodded slightly, not wanting to admit it out loud.
"Really, you have the more important job of the three." Thorin chuckled, "Fili will need to look to you for advice and a second opinion and Bilbo needs you to be his protector and teacher."
Kili smiled, he'd never thought about it like that.
Hurray for brothers!
I think I'll start the Quest For Erebor next chapter, I cant think of anything else that needs to happen before it. But if you can tell me quick!
