Alright, next up:

(Note: Tails is a girl in this. I need to get some practice in.)

-------

What-if Story #9: Amy gets Pissed and rampages

"Why the fuck did I tell her that Sonic didn't like her?! Now she's too pissed to be reasoned with!" the boy with a bigass lump on his head groaned, remembering that he was the cause of the mallet destruction with Amy Rose. Right now, she had both of her hammers out and was laying waste indiscriminately to anything that crossed her path. This included but was not limited to a humvee, an RV, Superman, Adolf Hitler, the Gestapo, three small houses made of straw, wood, and bricks, respectively, the Big Bad Wolf, and a harmless butterfly.

However, Corey happened to cross the irate rose hedgehog's path.

-AMAZING MALLET ACTION BREAK COREY'S FACE THING!-

-FATALITY!-

-SMASH OF ULTIMATE MAKING A JACKASS UNABLE TO SAY WORDS!!-

"Mmmerrrfcker…" the human mumbled, passing out, and letting the hedgehog continue on her unstoppable rampage of destruction.

"THAT'S IT!! I know what to do!" Corey shouted suddenly, knowing that there was one thing that she would calm down to…

Noticing Shadow conveniently five feet next to him, and Amy conveniently moving in for Corey's kill, the human sprung into action, grabbed Shadow by the shoulders, and threw him right into Amy—

They landed with their lips touching… and that's when it happened—the kiss of a lifetime (well, at least, for the both of them).

"It's over." Corey said, looking up at the sky with a glimmer of hope admist the burning remains of a city.

-------

Aftermath—
Corey and Tails got together. At first, many yaoi-obsessed fangirls screamed in delight, before it was revealed—Tails was a girl. This lead to riots and a very mind-blowing game of Chinese Checkers and several cycles of 'practice kung-fu on yaoi-obsessed rioters'.

Shadow and Amy got together, thanks to Corey's quick thinking. That's right—even though Corey has all the stupidity of a drunken voter, he has leaps of logic that, hell, TAILS would be afraid to make.

Sonic and Sally got together. This lead to protests of screaming SonAmy purists. Fucking purists…

Zach was the one left out of this. However, when it came to saving the city from yaoi-obsessed criminals, he was called in… but never showed up. He received the Award for Being A Total No-Show in Times of Danger.

--------

I apologize to anyone I offended with the line "Fucking purists…", but I had to choose SOMETHING.