Disclaimer - I've come to a little village. There's no power, and no roads, but that's a good thing. I can rest, recuperate, and move on safely. Its weird - the inhabitants seem to know nothing about what they are. Maybe I'll be safe here, but I doubt it. I will have to leave here soon. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

The fallout of my last expedition meant I felt we should lay low for a bit, concentrating upon Operation Enduring Resistance. But I hate to say, this was not to be! For you see, I was soon given a challenge I could not back down from.

It began a Thursday morning. Blackhammer had stayed late again and was sleeping, to my dismay, so I used my time doing minor paper work. Checking through the files I had been sent by Brightsilver, I found one of interest – a letter simply address to the Cloth Alchemist. Curious to who it could be, I opened it and read:

Hey Cloth Alchemist. Or should I say Suck Alchemist!

You may be interested to know that a real alchemist will be basing through your neck of the woods. So how about a little meet up? I challenge you to a duel! Shall we meet at Notty Hill Wood, Saturday Morning? If you're up to the challenge, which I doubt you are. I doubt you'll be able to SAND a hit.

The Glass Alchemist, Major Anna Larkoff

I began to get mad. How dare she? After all these years, she had returned! This I could not accept. 'Private Richard Blackhammer!' I shouted into the next room. I waited for his response. Then I realised that it was his day off. Hmm. That complicated matters.

I gathered up my materials, made a sandwich, left a note for Corporal Brightsilver, ate the sandwich, made a second sandwich and, with a flick of my cloak, ran out into the city.

I arrived at the place I was looking for quickly. I knocked on the door, and continued to knock as I waited. He was remarkably tardy – it seemed he didn't have the discipline I thought he did. Eventually, Blackhammer opened to door. He was wearing his stripped pyjamas, with his slippers on the wrong way round. He saluted tiredly. 'Sir, its 3 in the morning.'

'Ah.' I said. 'I had lost track of time, Private.'

'Sir, you're a State Alchemist – your proof of identity is also a watch.'

'In any case, we must be ready to do our duty at all times of the day! I need to come inside – here, have a sandwich.' I passed it over to him. He opened the door up more, letting me inside. Private Blackhammer's room was typical of soldiers' barracks, barely large enough to contain the both of us. I sat on the single chair, while he sat on the bed, taking a bite out the sandwich.

'So, sir, why have you come here?' Blackhammer asked, spraying crumbs on his bed.

'I came because I read this letter.' I handed it over to him. He put down the sandwich, and read through it. 'Why did she feel it necessary to point out the pun?' he asked.

I scoffed. 'Who knows what madness lies in her heart?'

'Who is she, anyway?' Blackhammer asked.

'She's an old comrade I used to know, back in the training academy. We even passed the same day. But then one day, she committed a grave sin against me. And that is something I can never forgive her for! And so we became bitter enemies. And now she has sent me a challenge! I cannot let her stop me!' I growled.

Blackhammer looked at the letter. 'Notty Hill Wood. Is that near to the city?'

'It's about a mile away from the outskirts of the city. I imagine it's far enough away so we can duel in private.'

'Right.' Blackhammer put down the letter. 'So, what do you want me to do?'

'Is it not obvious? I want you to help me defeat her! For honour! For glory! For justice!' I cried out.

'Hey, shut up, Richard!' a voice came from through the wall.

'Sorry!' Blackhammer replied. 'Sir, it's very early in the morning. Anyway sir, what can I do? You're both State Alchemists – it's quite out of my league.'

'Do not worry, for I have a plan!' It was a work of genius! I had come up with it years ago, waiting for the right moment. It just needed a little bit of preparation time. 'Now, the duel is set to take place on Saturday, and today is Thursday –'

'Friday, sir –' Blackhammer muttered.

'so we have only one day to get ready. So we need to prepare quickly. So, make sure you finish that sandwich!'

'But, sir, I don't really like pickles...'

'Finish it! Do your duty!'

After Blackhammer eventually finished the sandwich, we headed out into the city. We stopped at Susan's shop, and bought up some fresh supplies. We then headed to the several shops opening early – a butcher, a tailor, a tobacco shop, a clockmaker, a blacksmith, and an alchemical supplies shop. At each one, I made Blackhammer guard outside as I purchased what I needed. By the end, Blackhammer was carrying piles of supplies. We then stopped for lunch at a cafe which served the cities best sandwiches. It was a sandwich day.

Finishing up my meal, I stood up. 'I think I had better prepare for tomorrow. You take the rest of the day off, Blackhammer. I'll meet you at your room tomorrow morning.'

'Yes sir!' Blackhammer saluted, and sharply walked off, salute still at his head. His slippers were still on the wrong way round.

Tomorrow morning, I came back at the same time. Blackhammer was awake, and this time in uniform. 'Are you ready, sir?' Blackhammer asked.

'I am, Private. I've got a picnic ready. Let's go.'

We began our way out to the wood. We took a car, and drove out of the cities suburbs, into the surrounding farmland. 'Keep an eye out any wolves, will you?' I asked Blackhammer.

'Oh sir, I wouldn't worry about that, they don't live anywhere near here.' Blackhammer replied.

'Just keep an eye out.'

Eventually, we drove out to the wood, and got out. 'Look – ' I pointed – 'another car. She seems to have arrived.'

We parked, and walked out. 'Well, hello, Laundry Alchemist! Or should I say Ordinary Alchemist?! Ha!' came a cry. It was Major Anna Larkoff, standing atop a crest by a stream.

'That pun was worse than normal!' I shouted back. 'It didn't even make any sense!'

'Well, I guess I was DYING for your opinion!' There was a long pause. 'Because, we're doing a duel, in which you could die, and dying also means changing the colour of – you know what, never mind!'

I put on my transmutation gloves, and walked forward to face her. 'First to yield?' I asked.

'Of course. Now let us fight! You!' She pointed at Blackhammer. 'Start us off!'

'Uh, right!' He ran over. 'Um, three, two, one?' He then ran out of the way.

I leapt up, knowing what my opponent's first move would be. I transmuted a piece of cloth forward. But it was lost in Anna's transmutation – the ground turned to glass, sharp thin spikes shooting up towards me. I landed on the tip of the spike, breaking off a piece with my foot. I then leaped off, flipping out my cloak to propel me onto a tree branch. 'Your transmutation seems more powerful than before! Have gotten more powerful?' That simply didn't seem likely though. 'Wait, what is the ground made of?' I asked her.

'It's silicon dioxide!' She laughed. 'A simple transmutation! You think I would choose a location without any sand!' She put her hands down, with a flash of light, kicking up a pile of sand, turning to fast shards of sand. I billowed out my cloak, transmuting it to thicken it, blocking myself from the shards of glass. The small shards bounced off, but a couple went through, nearly hitting me.

'Bah!' I shouted, leaping down. 'Glass is terrible for anything – it is nothing but transparent!'

'And you say I don't make any sense!' She shouted back. 'It doesn't actually insult me!'

'Well then, simply know you are a bad person!' Let's see her respond to that quip! I transmuted a metal covered whip forward towards her. However, she put down her hands, raising a wall of thick glass. The whip stuck in the wall.

'You have one last chance!' Anna cried out. 'I'll let you off if you admit take back what you said about my knitting skills!'

'Only if you take back what you said about my mother!' I replied.

'Never!' she shouted. 'Her cakes were awful!'

'In any case, you're right where I want you!' I cried out. I transmuted out a roll of cloth, covering some of the glass wall. I then pressed at a transmutation circle on my whip, activating it.

'What are you on about?' She asked.

'Simple – an idea I had. Glass is brittle after all.' I pulled out the lighter I had bought, and hurled it at the cloth on the wall. It light, and the guncotton exploded. The glass shattered around, hurling the Glass Alchemist into the river. I was protected by my trusty cape, of course. Why are they not standard issue?

I walked away shouting 'I won! You have been beaten!' I went and opened the car door.

'Wait – I never yielded! I haven't lost!' She cried, but I was in the car. It was just denial – regardless it was the actual rules we agreed! Blackhammer was in the car, so we drove off. 'Now, I need to go to a picnic with my family, so I will need to drop you off on the way. You can walk the rest of the way back.'

Blackhammer sighed. 'Sir, why did we need all that stuff yesterday? You only used the cloth and the lighter for the duel.'

'Isn't it obvious! I needed the meat from the butchers for the picnic, and I picked up my new coat from the tailor.'

'And the clockmakers shop?'

'well, I needed a second watch! You showed I needed to be more clear on the time! You don't realise these all vital work! You clearly have much to learn!'

And so another victory had been won – the Glass Alchemist had been put in her place, and I had gotten a new coat! But we must be always vigilant! So soon will it will necessary for me, Egbert Longwood, the Cloth Alchemist, to do his duty again!

Some logical combat abilities for these two - glass is brutal, since most stone is made of silicon. And in theory, if he wanted to, Egbert could turn people's clothing into bombs. So this was a chance to show these ideas off. Also torture Blackhammer. I'm mean.