AN: WARNING: this is high angst, with an eventual Babe HEA…
Disclaimer: Story told from Stephanie's POV. I own nothing, just playing with JE's world.
SPOILER ALERT: From here on, spoilers for the 'Wicked' books as well.
Chapter 9.
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Dear Vinnie,
I want to thank you for giving me a job these last few years, even though I had to blackmail you for it! Still I am grateful.
I know you will probably be pissed, but I am quitting immediately. I have the offer of another job out of Trenton, and I think it is the right move for me now.
I'm sorry to leave you in the lurch, but I have cleared the backlog of skips for now, so you have a little time to find a new BEA.
Good luck, and stay away from the farm animals or Harry will have your hide!
Stephanie.
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Dear Dillon,
I'm sorry for the short notice but I am leaving town. You will find enclosed cash for the next two months' rent, in lieu of notice. Anything left in the apartment, you can leave in there, or give away to Goodwill. Thanks for always being a great super.
Stephanie.
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May 7th
Dear Grandma,
First off, I love you so much. You have always been one of the best people in my life. Your love and support has always meant so much to me, ever since I was a little girl, running to your house to hide from mom.
Grandma, you have always tried to help me fly. And I have loved watching you spread your own wings since grandpa Mazur died. I hope you never lose that zest for life and free spirit. It has inspired me to live my own life.
I'm really sorry grandma, I know how much this will hurt you, but I just can't live my life here in Trenton anymore. I know you thrive on the gossip and Burg grapevine, but it is killing me. I hate it.
You may not know about this (I don't know how much Rangeman gossip will leak out to the Burg grapevine) but Ranger has left town. He left, and he basically made it clear he doesn't want to see me anymore. I love him, but he sees no future with me. On top of the blow from Joe, it is just too much for me. I am really hurting and I don't want to stay in Trenton where all the memories are so strong and fresh.
So I am leaving. A friend is going to help me relocate, and find work somewhere else. My friend is also going to help me 'disappear', since I want to leave the whole Bombshell Bounty Hunter image behind. I promise that I am safe and not in any danger.
I guess mom will blame me for disappearing, and drink herself into a coma, but I just can't be held responsible for her anymore. She doesn't seem to care about my happiness, just her own image in the Burg. So maybe with me gone and not embarrassing her anymore, she can be happier. Please tell dad that I appreciate his help over the years, and tell him that I will be safe where I am going.
Even though Ranger is gone, the rest of the Rangeman guys may try and find me, although I don't know if they will bother. It may not be a priority anymore. But if they do, please just tell them I am fine, and I don't want to be found. They can tell Ranger that he doesn't need to bleed money for me anymore, and he can remove me from his entertainment budget. Maybe that will satisfy him.
I think I may have found a way to stay in touch with you sometimes, so please keep living your happy life, and I hope you will hear from me soon. If I do manage to contact you, please let Mary Lou know I am OK and that I miss her. I am writing her a letter today as well, but probably won't be able to stay in contact.
I love you so much grandma, and I will miss you. Please don't hate me for doing it this way. I just need to change my life right now.
Love always, Steph.
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May 7th
Dear Mary Lou,
You have been my best friend for so long, so I hope you will understand what I am about to do. Mare, I have to go.
I took your advice and went to talk to Ranger. It was devastating Mare. He basically told me he didn't want to be around me anymore and that I was a bad person for going back to Joe, and then again for coming to him when Joe was gone. Maybe he's right. Everyone else seems to think I am a bad person too, so they can't all be wrong.
You'd probably tell me that it was kind of my own fault again, but on top of the thing with Joe, I just can't take any more. I can't stay here with the memories and the gossip and my mother telling me I am a failure and a disappointment. A friend has offered to help me relocate and start a new life. I'll miss you like crazy, but I have decided to go.
I have written to Vinnie to resign. Please do me a favour and let Connie and Lula know that I am sorry that I couldn't tell them and that I will miss them. They probably won't forgive me for just disappearing, but I hope you can, Mare.
I have written to grandma, so she will tell my parents. Could you please keep an eye on her for me? My mom is always trying to clip her wings too, it would mean a lot to me if you could just stay in touch with her from time to time. I am trying to find a way that I can let her know from time to time that I am OK. So if you stay in contact with grandma, I should be able to get a message through to you sometime.
I love you Mare, and I hope you will forgive me someday.
Love always, Steph.
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Interlude – May 11th
"Yo."
"Yo, Ranger."
"Report."
"Everything's normal, boss, no issues."
"So, why the fuck are you calling, Tank?"
"Umm, it's Stephanie, Ranger."
"Tank, I was clear. New protocol, deal with it, don't report to me."
"Yeah, I know, Ranger, but this is… different than normal protocol."
"What's happened now?"
"Ranger, she's gone. Disappeared."
"What does that mean, disappeared?"
"It means disappeared, Ranger! She's gone. Cleared out her apartment, left letters, resigned from Vinnie's, sent her grandma a letter. Fucking vanished off the face of the earth."
"That's not fucking possible Tank. Track her. Find her."
"What the fuck do you think we've been trying to do? She's been gone for five days. We've done everything we can think of. She closed out her bank accounts, packed her shit, dropped the Buick at her parents in the middle of the night, and vanished like a fart in the wind! No electronic trail. No activity on her electronic accounts. Fucking NOTHING! I've had Hector, Hal and Binkie working on it for four days straight. I'm telling you, she's GONE."
"How the fuck could she achieve that? Where would she go?"
"I don't fucking know. From what I can tell from Connie, she had a visitor though before she vanished. You're not going to like it."
... ...
"Are you expecting me to fucking guess?"
"Ranger, it was Diesel. He was visiting with her a few days before she disappeared. Helped her clean up her skips. Took her to Point Pleasant for the day on Saturday. Monday she vanished."
"Shit. So he's helped her disappear. Do we know where he's operating these days?"
"You've got to be fucking kidding me? You know from the last two times he's been in Trenton, we've tried to find anything we could about him. Nothing. Not since childhood. No trace, anywhere in the world. That organisation that's backing him is the best we've ever seen. Even you couldn't trace him; found normal records in Switzerland for his childhood, then nothing. Not gonna be anything now. If she's with him, she's gone, unless she wants to be found."
... ... ...
"Ranger?"
"You said she sent letters to her grandma and Vinnie?"
"Just a resignation to Vinnie. He showed me the letter. Her grandma wouldn't show me the letter. Just said she was gone, didn't want to be found. She said… Ranger, Mrs Mazur said she sent you a message. Said to tell you, you can take Stephanie out of your entertainment budget and stop bleeding money for her."
"FUCK!"
"I think she must have written to Mary Lou Stankovic as well. She wouldn't tell us anything, but there was something in her attitude. I don't know what Stephanie wrote to them, but I don't think either of them is feeling very charitable toward you at the moment."
... ... ... ...
"What do you want us to do, Ranger?"
"OK. I'll put Silvio in Miami on one last effort to find Diesel. You set up traces on mail and all electronic communications for Mrs Mazur and Mrs Stankovic. Leave them in place until I say otherwise. Wait a couple weeks and send Woody to talk to them in person. See if he can use that southern charm to get anything else out of them. Report back if you get anything."
"Done. Ranger, man I'm sorry."
"Not your fault. Probably mine. I'm pretty sure she hates me now. And after Morelli, she feels like we both dumped on her and abandoned her. I probably should have expected something like this, but I never thought she'd leave her family and friends in Trenton. I could say it's Diesel's influence, but I don't think he could force her to do anything she didn't want to. No, this one's on me."
"I'll let you know the second we find anything, man."
"Likewise."
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July 12th
Dear Grandma,
Hi! I wanted to let you know I am doing OK. Please tell mom and dad not to worry about me, and please tell Mary Lou that I am doing fine and I miss her.
Did you like my way of staying in touch? Shhhh! Don't tell anyone!
I hope you are all well. I can't say anything about where I am or what I am doing, it is a condition of my employment. But please know that I am absolutely fine. Compared to my life as a bounty hunter, this life is practically boring! But it is away from the mess my life was back home, and that helps me to live day to day.
I miss you grandma, and I hope you are still giving them hell every day!
Love always, Steph.
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October 24th
Dear Grandma,
I miss you grandma, so much. I had a very lonely birthday, I guess it's my own fault for choosing this path. I'm not really looking forward to Halloween either, for the very first time I can remember.
But I have pulled up my big girl panties and decided if this is going to be my life, I have to start living it. I have started a couple of new hobbies, and I met some new people. Hopefully, I can make some new friends and life will get better.
I am hoping you are OK and still kicking ass. Please give my nieces a big hug and kiss from me, and tell them that their Aunty Steph loves them and thinks about them, no matter what their mom or grandma say. Please tell Mare hello and give her a kiss too. And tell my dad I love him.
Love always, Steph.
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Interlude – October 29th
"Yo, boss."
"Report."
"Report on what?"
"Stephanie."
"Nothing to report man. No physical or electronic activity that we can trace. Hector even set up trigger word searches on emails and Facebook activity for Mrs Mazur and Mrs Stankovic. Nothing."
"Fuck. I thought she might get in contact for her birthday."
"Nope, nothing. Woody has been to see them both a few times. He suspects that Mrs Mazur has heard from Stephanie, but if so, we can't figure out how. We had our new guy Cougar follow her for the week leading up to her birthday and the week after, and he couldn't see any trace of any unusual activity. No visits to anywhere out of the ordinary. All electronic activity monitored. Zip."
"OK. Leave the electronic traces. Pull everything else. We'll try again at Christmas, but this is not looking good."
"Yeah man. I'm fucking sorry."
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December 21st
Dear Grandma,
Merry Christmas. I wish like anything that I could send you all presents, but it's just not possible. I have enclosed cards for you, mom and dad, Val and family Mary Lou and family, and Connie and Lula. Please give them out to everyone for me? I love you all, and miss you.
Tell everyone I'm sorry if I hurt them. But truly, this has been liberating for me. It's been lonely and hard a lot of the time, but I think it has been what I needed. Maybe someday soon, I can see everyone again, but for now this is working for me. I hope everyone can forgive me, but I am learning that I have to find my own life.
Anyway, I hope you have a terrific Christmas.
Love always, Steph.
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AN: So, how do you think Steph is sending letters to grandma? Any guesses? :)
