It'd been a rough week. Ah, who was she kidding, it'd been a rough life. The past couple of weeks just kept coming, just kept jumping at her, trying to stomp her into the ground. But Goombella wouldn't give up! She couldn't! Sure, maybe a few times she snuck off to cry in the bathroom, but no one knew about that. To everyone else, they saw Goombella and must have thought, 'Gee! What a tough girl!'
Right? People thought that about her, right? … They didn't. They probably didn't even remember she existed.
Well, screw them! Who needs them!? Goombella? Hell no! She didn't need anyone! … No partner! No friends! Yeah! Lone wolf! That's just what Goombella was like, that's just the type of thing she needed in her life!
Buuuuuuut, when she got Toadette's message to meet for drinks, she was totally not going to say no. Holy crap, she was lonely and desperate to see her again! She couldn't get out of her police uniform fast enough!
She had always loved being a cop, but it'd been hard lately. Very hard. Especially without a friend.
So. Here she sat. Drinking a fizzy green soda! By herself. On her day off. Waiting for Toadette, who totally was NOT going to flake on her, right?
Come on, girl! You had it worse than me, sure, but you've been a hot mess lately!
"Hon hon, would ze madam care for another beverage?" an old Bean asked behind the counter, polishing a mug so hard that Goombella was sure the sheen could be seen from space.
"No thanks, Cork, I'm good for now," Goombella sighed, sipping her bottle with a silly straw. Cork and Cask called it a Gentleman's Instrument, or a Madame's Instrument, but… it was a silly straw.
"Ah ah, do not have ze shame, young madam!" Cask said in his usual pushy way. "Zhere is nothing wrong with ze quiet drink alone! Unless you are zat barbarian baker, Torte!"
"Boo, Torte!" Cork made a face like he had sniffed an old Yoshi egg. "Now ZHERE is a shameful man! Why, Zust last week, I waz outzide when-"
"I get it, I get it!" Goombella growled. "You hate Torte, and Torte hates you! It is VERY well established! Please let me drink in peace!"
Cork and Cask wore expressions of horror across their elegant bearded faces. "Rude," Cask grumbled.
"Oui," Cork agreed, back to his scrubbing.
Goombella groaned, blowing angry bubbles into her drink. Whatever. What did it matter? No one treated her with respect, why should she always have to try so hard for them? She didn't care about anyone anymore! This was the birth of a new Goombella! Who didn't need anyone and didn't care about anyone!
A bell jingled and the door opened. A familiar face stepped into Chataeu de Chucklehuck. A face that Goombella didn't realize she had missed so much.
"Toadette!" Goombella cried out, practically falling off her barrel chair. The place was decorated like an old winery, and while that was cute and all, it wasn't very practical for a Goomba. "Oh, it's been so long, girl!"
Toadette looked up from the ground, her eyes lost in thought. Her skin was pale. Well, paler than usual for a Toad.
"Hey," was all she said. Her pigtails were still in usual order, but her hair was messy and frizzy, like she just hadn't bothered to do it the past few days. She was wearing a weird loose-fitting shirt that just … said 'Free' on it. What the hell did that mean?
"That's all?! Just 'hey'?" Goombella mock-whined, trying her best to keep a smile up. Toadette shuffled by to her seat, completely ignoring her. "Hey, come on, don't I get a hug at least? You know I'd hug you if I could!"
"Right," Toadette said, shuffling back to wrap her arms weakly around Goombella. Geez. She'd seen more life in a Dry Bones.
"Lemme get ya something to drink," Goombella said, straining to stay happy. She had to stay happy. She had no reason to be upset! Toadette did. She had every reason to be upset. Goombella didn't deserve to be unhappy.
"Cork, can we get a Cherry Chuckolacola over here?"
"Oh, now she wants us to speak," Cork grumbled, working a faucet installed into a huge barrel. Fizzy red liquid bubbled into his pristine mug, a great complimentary color to Goombella's green.
"Now now, ze customer is always right, mon frère," Cask whispered to him. "Ve can't afford to lose another customer to that… Torte!"
"Oui," Cork replied sternly, bringing the drink over to the table. Even in his great disdain, he managed a very polite bow after bringing the drink over. Toadette didn't even glance his way, only angering him further.
Luckily Cask was there to calm him down, bringing him into the back to talk him out of his gentlemanly rage. They were a good pair of brothers, weren't they? Very supporting of each other. What would they do without each other?...
The red drink burbled mournfully as Toadette leaned against her hand. She ignored it like she ignored Cork and Cask's precious etiquette, her elbow resting on the table, and only a quiet sigh on her lips.
Goombella practically bit her tongue off. She so badly wanted to just blurt out 'So how ya been!?' But Goombella knew all too well she hadn't been doing good.
Her mind went back to that call a week ago.
…
Toadette called Goombella on her personal phone, voice low. "Mario's dead," she had said.
Goombella didn't even have time to say hello yet. "What?" Goombella had replied, completely dumbfounded.
"Mario's dead. We found him. Over at Smithy's place."
"What?!"
"I think we need someone to pick us up. I'm with Luigi. He's not taking it well."
Goombella just remembered she kept asking 'What?' like an idiot, and she needed Toadette to repeat herself like three more times before it all sunk in. Some cop, right? Needless to say, Goombella got Chief Toadstool on it right away and they sent someone out to pick them all up.
Goombella was not one of those people. She would have gotten in the way, surely. She didn't have a kart like the other Toads. She didn't have arms like the other Toads. Most of the investigation had been completely out of her hands, pun exasperatingly intended.
She had heard Toadette's reports secondhand from the other Toads at least. Tales of an old evil scheming witch, of a robot disguised as her brother, of a ghost disguised as a robot disguised as her brother, and finally, an old smithy who had apparently killed Mario and left him for dead right in the hallway to his chambers.
Open and shut case, right? Smithy did it. Easy. Mario got in his way, and Smithy is not the type of guy to NOT have his way. He doesn't care or know who he had to smash, but if they come before his anvil, they WILL get flattened.
Except Luigi didn't say anything. A prime witness to everything that night, and he just wouldn't talk. Not like he ever talked much, but this time? He really wouldn't talk. Boys tried everything. Even Peach tried to get him to say something. But he wouldn't.
Some of the Toads were even starting to suspect that Luigi killed his brother. Why wouldn't he want to get the killer? Why wouldn't he cry? Why wouldn't he…. anything?! At least, that's what they thought.
And Toadette… Toadette wasn't exactly helping her case. Or anyone's case. Chief Peach made sure Goombella had the rest of the day off. She didn't want them anywhere near each other. Musta thought Goombella would have been a bad influence. Or maybe she was protecting Goombella from Toadette's temper?
Either way, there was a lot of yelling, Goombella had heard. Probably similar to the day she found out her brother died. Goombella was there for that day, and she wouldn't forget it.
"You don't listen! You don't listen to anyone! Nobody here listens!" Toadette had screamed. "We could have prevented this! We could have stopped this if we just tried a little harder! If we didn't just accept defeat!"
Chief Toadstool tried so hard. She really did! Goombella didn't dislike her. She didn't agree with Peach, but she knew that the 'Princess' gave everything her all and stood by her decisions. She stayed calm even when Toadette had yelled at her, stayed calm even when she said it was all her fault.
Goombella wondered if that's what happened when they came back with Mario, too.
Goombella brought herself back into the present for a moment. She looked over Toadette's weak body, limp in almost every motion she made. She looked like an expired bag of mushrooms. Could she even have the energy to scream again? Who knows. But Toadette had a lot to say. A lot of tales. And not everything pointed to Smithy like the Toads wanted it to.
"Why do you think she won't just say it's Smithy?" a Toad would ask.
"Think he bought her out? Maybe she's in cahoots. Whole thing is fishy if you ask me," another Toad would say.
"Yeah! She sounded like a crazy person! Going up to Cackletta and Smithy all in one night? Luigi even saw Bowser on his own! It was all over Bowser's Channel! No one would live through that. Not even Mario did!"
"Ever since Captain Toad went, she hasn't been right in the head. Poor girl."
And it hurt. It hurt biting her tongue so much. Goombella wanted to scream at them too, tell them all how wrong they were about Toadette! About Luigi! … Not that she knew Luigi that well, but she had a pretty good read on him.
Regardless of what anyone said or didn't say, GBI got involved, and those guys are higher up than anyone in the NDPD. Galactic Bureau of Investigation. You didn't get higher up than that! Some tall lady in a fancy dress came in a few days after, looking very serious and powerful. Powerful enough that the stars themselves listened to her orders.
Goombella tried to eavesdrop, but Chief Toadstool was always three steps ahead of her. That tall lady was gone, and the next day, some weird guy in blue showed up and pretty much took over the whole place. Called himself Geno. A stick in the mud might be a good way to describe him. Wooden. Like, imagine a doll that tried really hard to be stoic and cool. He mostly was! Just… at the end of the day, he was still a janky wooden doll.
But say what you want about him, that guy had drive. He wanted Smithy, and he wanted him bad. Even when the other Toad's brought up some of Toadette's other statements, he merely shrugged it off and said that wasn't what he came here for.
…
"It couldn't have been him..." Toadette suddenly mumbled to herself, throwing Goombella back into the present.
"Huh!?" Goombella said, again, sounding like an idiot. Geez. She really had to stop being so shocked all the time!
"Smithy. I don't think he did it," Toadette said, her eyes finally looking at something. It was Goombella. She was really staring hard. Kind of unnerving, holy cow. Is this what it felt like when they did the good cop, bad cop routine?! Toadette was always the bad cop.
"Hey, like," Goombella started, kind of wishing they could have talked about something that wasn't work just for a little bit. "I get what you're saying, y'know? I don't know if it totally fits in with Smithy's character either, but who else could it be?"
Toadette clenched her eyes shut, pressing her palm into her forehead way too hard. "I know! I don't have any proof! I just, I don't think he killed Mario. I'm not even sure he killed my brother."
"You mean, like, you think that Yaridovich guy did, right?" Goombella asked, trying her best to be helpful to Toadette. She knew about him. She knew about all of Smithy's troops. Paid to be well researched! That's what old Frankly says! Or… well. Used to say.
"No. No." Toadette shook her head almost frantically. "Well. Maybe. I'm not sure still. I don't think any of Smithy's troops had anything to do with this."
"You think it could have been Doopliss?"
Toadette glared. "Who?"
Oops. Right. Toadette probably didn't know his name. "Er. That ghost guy you met. That was def Doopliss. I've had a run in with him before so I kno-"
She sighed. "Of course you know him. You know everyone. I should have known that you knew!" Toadette took a swig of her drink, tossing the silly straw onto the floor.
Goombella could feel her polite smile cracking. "Um…sorry?"
Toadette shook her head, gulping down her bottle like she hadn't drank in days, which seemed extremely likely. "Sorry, Goombella. I didn't mean it like it was a bad thing. I meant it in a way like, I should have talked to you way sooner, you know?" The red soda washed down her throat, and it gave Toadette back some of the color she had lost.
"You really should have talked to me sooner," Goombella said quietly. She meant to add a y'know to that, or maybe a like, or totally! But she didn't.
"I know," Toadette sighed. "Sorry. Things have been… weird." She frowned, but at least it was an emotion! Better than being totally blank faced.
It was Goombella's turn to sigh. "I know, I know. I don't hold it against you, girl."
"I've been so tired," Toadette said between gulps of her soda. Before she knew it, it was already empty. Goombella scooched her green drink over for Toadette to have. "Thanks. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in, sheesh… ever since Cap'n."
"Yeah," Goombella said with a nod. "I get it."
"I've just!" Toadette held out her hands, almost spilling the soda on herself. "I've been thinking! Like! The usual cliché junk! Man, maybe I could have stopped it!"
Goombella nodded. She thought of her old professor. Stomped dead. "I know what you mean."
"If I was just… better! You know?" Toadette asked, eyes desperately on Goombella now.
"I know."
"God, and it's just like, always put it on Mario! Anything goes wrong, hand it over to Mario! He'll figure it out! He always does!" She slammed her bottle on the barrel table. "Well! Didn't do so great of a job, did he?"
Goombella winced. She still really liked Mario. He was a hero to her! Helped her become a cop, helped her through so much! She didn't really like Toadette badmouthing him, especially after y'know, he just died. But at the same time, Goombella understood Toadette was frustrated. She didn't mean it.
"I knew, man, I knew! I couldn't trust them to figure out what happened to my brother!" Toadette said, a little bit louder than Goombella would have liked. "Still can't even trust 'em now!" She slammed her bottle so hard against the table again, Goombella worried it'd shatter. "God! Worst part is, can't even trust myself either! Not like I know any better!"
"So, you really don't think Smithy did it then?" Goombella asked evenly. She knew Toadette. She knew she responded well to simple logical questions.
"No!" Toadette yelled back. She paused, scratched her face. "Well. Maybe!" She paused again. "I don't know!"
"Do you have any ideas on who else might have done it?"
Toadette nodded, the sugary cola really hyping her up. "Oh yeah! I got ideas! I have a prime suspect! But I don't wanna say yet. There'd be no point! Even if I did, I got no evidence, I got no badge, I got nothing!"
Goombella mulled over the case details in her mind and outloud. "They say Mario died to a blow to the back of the head. Something hot hit him. There were scorch marks. Like…"
Toadette groaned, staring at the green liquid sloshing around in her bottle. "Like my brother had."
"Like a smith's hammer," Goombella said, knowing she didn't fully believe that description.
"Convenient, huh?" Toadette grumbled. "Like that ghost guy said… Like finding Mario's body right before Smithy's room."
"Smithy wouldn't have even known who Mario was, or probably forgot who he was if they had ever met before way back," Goombella said. "His troops wouldn't care if there was a dead body around, as long as it didn't get in the way of their work."
"Mmhmm!" Toadette nodded, sipping her drink. "Geez, Goombella, how do you know them so well? I wouldn't have had a clue unless I met them myself."
"I read a lot." Goombella tried to shrug, but she didn't have shoulders. "I dunno!"
"And then there's the crown!" Toadette shouted forlornly. "What the heck does the crown have to do with anything?! I don't get it! It's not even important, is it?! No one at the station seemed to think it was!"
Goombella blinked. "Wait. You mean Daisy's crown? The one Luigi was looking for?"
"The heck?!" Toadette raised an eyebrow at her, or at least the closest thing to it. "You know about the crown, too? Okay, now you've just got some kind of powers, don't you?"
"No, no! I talked to Luigi that night!" Goombella countered. "He told me about the crown! And then there was Popple…"
"Oh, right!" Toadette slammed her hand on the table again, but this time it wasn't angry. "Luigi told me something about that too! I, uh, sort of tuned out. Luigi's not the most interesting guy."
"Ohmigosh, don't I know it!" Goombella grinned. "He's a sweet guy, I love him, but hello? Snooze fest!"
"Right?" Toadette motioned like the key to the puzzle of her life was agreeing that Luigi was nice but weird and kind of boring. "Agh. Probably shouldn't talk bad about him all things considered."
"Ugh, yeah," Goombella admitted. "How was he? I've wanted to visit him, make sure he was okay, but I've not had any time! This week's been a mess…"
"Not good, Goombella, not good," Toadette sighed. "I'm sure you heard. Or well. Didn't hear. He wouldn't say anything. The moment we saw Mario. It all stopped. You know how he's always mumbling or muttering about something or other at least?"
"Yep," Goombella nodded. "Yep, yep, that's definitely Luigi. Can't tell when he's talking to you or to himself?"
"Right!?" Toadette was so astonished that anyone could agree with her. "But yeah." She let her voice soften. "He just went completely silent. Totally quiet. Not a single mumble, not even the faintest of hums. He wouldn't even move unless I led him."
"Geez…" Goombella shook her head. "I heard it was bad. I didn't realize. Not a single thing to you either?"
"Nope. Seriously. Nothing." Toadette looked away. "It was just like he lost the will to live right there, man."
Goombella had to choose her words wisely. She wanted to make sure Toadette was okay, too.
"Did the same thing happen to you? When you..." Saw your brother dead, too. Did you also lose the will to live, Toadette?
"No!" Toadette argued fiercely. "No! Of course not!" And… like clockwork. "…maybe a little." She fiddled with Goombella's silly straw, staring out the window into the rainy city, past the burbling barrel of soda that definitely did not just move.
"But I didn't completely shutdown like Luigi did. I got angry. I had to. It was the only thing left I felt. If I didn't get angry? Maybe I'd have been like Luigi."
"Geez…" Goombella said intelligently. Not exactly her most helpful comment. But what else could she say?
Toadette shook her head. "Eh, forget that. What about the crown, though? You think it's important?"
For once, Goombella was very happy to bring the topic back to work. "It's either extremely important or has nothing to do with anything. Maybe both."
She glared. "What the heck's that supposed to mean?"
"How the hell should I know!?"
"Well! What… you know… happened with it?" Toadette said, struggling to even form a decent question. "You said some guy said he had it, or whatever?"
"Popple, yeah." Goombella nodded.
Toadette's eyes showed no recognition.
"Shadow thief. Self-proclaimed."
Still nothing.
"The little green Bean guy who was partners with Croco!"
Toadette's eyes lit up like Fire Flowers. "Oh! That guy!" She tilted her head. "He had the crown?"
"Said he had it." Again Goombella did a thing that might resemble a shrug. Toadette understood. "We never actually saw the crown on him. Said he stole it off Daisy and then lost it in a game at Bowser's."
Toadette grimaced. "Wha? That can't be right…"
"Because Smithy had it, right?" Goombella wracked her brain, trying to understand. "… Why would Smithy even have it?"
Toadette didn't answer. "Hmm…"
"You know something, don't you?" Goombella asked, reading that lost-in-thought face of Toadette's all too easily.
"Maybe," Toadette admitted. "It's still not evidence. It's still nothing but speculation."
"Then, come on! Spill the beans!" Goombella begged, not even noticing the amazing pun she made. "Don't leave me hanging, y'know?"
"I just, I don't have the words for it yet. It's still a mess in my head."
Goombella tapped her foot against the barrel, spacing out. "Someone's lying then, huh? Or a lot of people are lying."
"Everyone's lying. But who's lying the most? Who's lying the least? And why?"
"…What are you talking about."
"I-I told you I don't have the words for it yet!" Toadette whined. Suddenly, she stood up and threw a bunch of coins on the table. "Thanks for talking with me, Goombella. This really helped. In more ways than one."
"Huh?" Goombella gawked as Toadette gathered up her things and finished off the rest of Goombella's soda. "You're not just leaving, are you?!"
"Sorry. I can't… like…" Toadette made a gesture with her hands that even she must not have understood. "I can't say it. But I can do something." She was already halfway out the door and back at the rainy streets. "I'll keep in touch from now on. I promise. Talk to you later, Goombella."
"Toadette, aw, man, come on!"
But by the time Goombella had waddled off her chair and out the door into New Donk, Toadette was long gone.
