Old Gods
Chapter 7: I Love You
Author: Miss Lizz
Rating: R to be on the safe side
Disclaimer: See first chapter.
Note: Beware extreme emotionalism and romantic drivel ahead. I apologize for this in advance.
It was a real kiss, long, slow, and lingering this time.
It was wonderful, her lips as soft and sweet as he thought they would be, gently yielding beneath his.
It was breathtakingly torturous.
It was a risk. There was every chance she would pull away from him. Every chance he was going too fast but it was the only best method he could come up with to convince her he did not despise her. His words so far had proved nothing to her, it was even doubtful she would believe him if he simply told her the full truth.
That he loved her. That she meant more to him than anyone had ever realized. It had taken the goddess of love and more than a little coaxing from his remarried wife to make him realize and finally admit it to himself.
For a moment, as her hands crept up to his shoulder, he feared she was going to push him away and indeed he was going to pull away at the first sign of resistance. Her small hands, however, did not stay at his shoulders, moving to the nape of his neck as she tentatively began to return the kiss, her innocence making itself blatantly known. When he felt her sigh into his mouth, he deepened their embrace, delving his tongue into the honeyed, heated interior of her mouth, feather-light at first but gaining boldness and depth with each thundering heartbeat.
When the kiss was finally broken and he slowly, regretfully pulled away, Nefertina opened her eyes and looked dazedly up at him. She blinked slowly and deeply sighed.
"What― Why― That was― Why did you kiss me?" Her voice was deeper that usual, more of a husky whisper that caused him to smile warmly.
She had enjoyed that kiss.
"Because you're a very beautiful woman with the warmest heart and kindest soul I've ever seen and because a man should kiss the woman he loves."
Nefertina blinked again more quickly, the dazed look was gone now. "What?"
He smiled down at her. "I love you, Nefertina."
Something flared high and bright in her stormy eyes for less than a heartbeat before dying, being replaced by the old hurts. "Lying was never your strong point, Jakal, don't start now." He opened his mouth to speak, to deny what she was going to say, but her fingers upon his lips stopped him. "Don't. Please…I'm not going to pretend to understand why you're doing this but I want you to stop. You don't love me, you never will. You love Tia. I… I heard you talking to Zarg earlier and I heard everything you said. So just stop this! Please."
Jakal sighed but did not relinquish his hold on her. "That was two days ago, a lot can happen. A lot did happen… I've had a lot of time to think about that conversation and the ones I had later with Bastet and Tia… I do love you, I'm just ashamed it took someone else to make me recognize these feelings."
"You had a conversation with Bastet? The Bastet? Goddess of love? Oh, gods, no." She moaned this in absolute dejectedness. "And you talked to your wife, too. You know now, you have to. She probably told you." Nefertina covered her face with her hands and tried to roll away from him again but he would have none of that.
"Yes, I talked with both of them and they both made me face things I was afraid to because of a loyalty that did not exist anymore, that I no longer have. Tia isn't my wife anymore, she hasn't been for a long time now…" What he supposed to say to make her believe? Why was she fighting so hard against this? "What am I supposed to know now?" He asked suddenly, catching her off-guard.
"Bastet must have told you…" Nefertina said in wide-eyed terror, "She must have."
"Told me what?" He was pressing her, yes, but he needed to know what her babbling truly meant. "Please tell me."
She closed her eyes and sighed deeply before looking back to him, "Bastet must have told that I love you―"
Jakal eyes widened hugely. She… what? Nefertina loved him? When had this happened? How had he not noticed? He knew how, he'd had his head bowed too low into his own misery to give her the time of day… If only he could have realized everything sooner.
"―that I've loved you since I first met you but was never allowed to tell you…" She drew in a shuddering breath, "I… appreciate that you're trying to let me off gently but you don't have to… I'll even leave if you feel I should but I want you to know first, I would never have allowed my feelings to get in the way of our work. Or our friendship."
Pressing his leps into a thin line, narrowing his eyes sadly, the hunter stared at her in mute, worried bemusement, unable for long moments to grasp what the beautiful little charioteer had just stated… That she loved him, that she didn't believe he loved her, that she might leave―
Leave?
He puled her to him, into his arms― no, into his heart― flush against his chest, quickly when the threatened desertion crashed through his mute wall of bewiderment. "No," he whispered hoarsely, "please don't leave. Don't ever think of leaving. I'm not trying to let you off, gently or otherwise." He was babbling, something he had never done before, something very unlike him but as he sat there holding her, pleading gently, breathing in the scent of her hair, he did not care.
"I love you, please believe that. You know I would never lie about anything llike this, especially where you're concerned," he urged, raising his head to look at her face. "I've had two days after Zarg pointed it out to analyze what I've been feeling for you for the past two years and I'll say this now… Love has never hit me so hard as it has with you. Not even Tia stirred me the way you do. It's like comparing a firefly to a phoenix…"
Jakal sealed his lips over hers again when he was certain she was going to protest that he was lying. It raged fiercer than the last, shattering in its intensity, overwhelming in its power… surely she know he wouldn't kiss her like this if he still pined for Tia. Innocent or no, she must grasp that this was not the embrace of a man in love with someone else, she must.
It was more difficult than ever to pull away from this kiss, near impossible when all he wanted was to kiss her until she forgot her doubts, her fears, her uncertainties, and she simply accepted. With great effort, more force of will than he thought he possessed, he broke contact with her mouth to look down at her, half-fearing that she would protest his love. She surprised him yet again.
"Y-you're not… joking." Her half-lidded gray eyes struggled to fully focus on his face. More statement than question, it lifted his spirits immeasurably.
He smiled, "No joke."
"You love me."
His smile got broader, "With all my heart and soul."
"And I love you." She stared up into his eyes.
"Gods, I hope so."
A slow smile wreathed her face. "Then would you mind kissing me again?"
End chapter 7.
I hope you enjoyed this. I know not when the next will come but it may be soon. Please send many reviews.
