AN – This is very silly and utterly pointless, but it wrote itself so I had to share.

This comes from a mildly hysterical conversation with a lovely new friend I met and inadvertently introduced the concept of mushy peas to today. All the good ideas in here are hers; I have just strung them together and given them to the boys to play with.

Ianto was leaning on the railings looking out over the Bay as Jack walked towards him carrying two packets of hot fish and chips.

Taking the food gratefully Ianto unwrapped the paper and stopped.

"What's this?" he asked, poking suspiciously at a green mess sprawled over half the chips.

"They're mushy peas Ianto."

"I know what they are Jack, but what are they doing on my dinner?"

"It's traditional to have mushy peas with your fish and chips from a chippy."

"It may be tradition, but I don't like them."

"Why not? You like peas. I've seen you eat them."

"Yes, but mushy peas are just wrong."

"Wrong how?"

Ianto sighed. "Peas are one of those perfect foods. Everything you want in all contained in one neat little package; no mess, no waste. Who thought it would be a good idea to take that and make them all mushy and messy?"

"Oh. That was the Doctor."

"What?" Ianto asked as patiently as he could.

Jack shrugged; "He got frustrated with the peas always rolling off the paper, so he popped back in the Tardis, had a word in the right ears about mushing them up a bit and…" Jack finished the thought by waving his little wooden fork in the air.

Ianto stared at him, one sceptical eyebrow raised.

"What? You really thought a human came up with them? Never. Too simple."

Ianto snorted and turned away.

Jack laughed. "Just eat your peas. They're good for you."

AN – By the way, if anyone has any ideas for any more "Eight…of Captain Jack Harkness", please throw them my way and I'll try and write them for you.

Jooles