Heyaa! Proud to say I have passed two out of four exams now, lalala. Though the third – the most difficult – is tomorrow D: I hate graduating.
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Who knows the name of the follower?
Who knows the name of summerbearer?
Eternal wind in grey feather grass,
Eternal rock of walls brought down,
Lighting-scorched heather on high hill
And Moon's silver pattern on eternal wave
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We rode through the day and stopped at sunset. Legolas stirred several times during the day, but never came back to the real world. I made him drink herbs at times, feeling grateful that there was such thing as swallowing reflex, and hoped he would finally awake soon.
It was already late after the nightfall, we were sitting around the fire with Legolas' head on my knees, for I was watching over him all the time, when he finally let out a small moan and opened his eyes, blinking slowly.
- Legolas? - I looked down at him and touched his forehead, frowning. It was too warm to the touch, he was developing a fever.
His eyes seemed to try to focus, but then he winced and closed them.
- Legolas, - I called once more, and he lifted eyelids again, his gaze wandering randomly. – Do you recognize me?
All other elves stopped their conversations and were watching us closely, waiting for the Sinda to speak. Slowly, his eyes focused at me with unease.
- Haldir, - he breathed.
- Aye, - I could not hold back a small relieved smile. – How do you feel?
He stayed silent for a while, focusing on his inner sensations.
- Hurts, - he spoke with difficulty and fell asleep within moments, before I could give him anything to help with the fever.
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Next several days were hard for all of us. Part of the patrol, including me, was busy healing Legolas the best we could, and the others had to be twice more watchful and attentive to any outer dangers. The number of orcs has decreased effectively due to our efforts, but we still had encounters with them, and I could not fight properly due to my precious burden. Thankfully, Legolas has started recovering after several days of deep healing sleep and now was always conscious, constantly feeling uneasy about everyone defending him.
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- Haldir? – I looked around to see Menelmahtar. He was wearing a serious look, and I became somewhat worried.
- Is something out of order? – I inquired.
- Nay, - he shook his head. – I merely wanted to ask, what our plans look like. You haven't spoken much of it since we left Kotar. I believe others want to know, too.
- Ah… Of course, my friend, - I said. – Forgive me for keeping you in the dark, - I inclined my head. – Legolas had only once been to Lothlorien. I believe I remember him, he was barely twenty years old. He said it all had started when he was over one age old. This might very well mean Lady doesn't even know about his state, especially considering the small number of contacts between our Realms and the level of secrecy about what happened to the prince.
- Do you want to say she could help him?
- She is wise, - I sighed. – If there is anyone on Arda who could try to cure him, it is Galadriel. At least, we must try. There is no much time left.
- I understand, - Menelmahtar nodded.
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A few days later we still haven't reached Limlaith. Despite the fact we were making haste, we still had to stop often or take an indirect root due to the absence of any trail. But I believed we would reach the river in seven, maybe eight days, and that would mean another five days to arrive in Caras Galadhon.
In the evening we gathered around the fire. Legolas was faring quite well, his injuries were almost healed, and the hideous gash on his face was quickly fading, but he was almost always silent and withdrawn, looking around with half-lid eyes, face aloof and expressionless. If I asked him something, he answered in short sentences, hiding his eyes and seemingly being uncomfortable about contacting with me – or anyone else, at that point. That evening I decided to once again try to get through to him.
- Legolas? – I touched his shoulder, since he was sitting next to me.
He looked at me sideways questioningly, then cast his eyes downwards.
- What ails you?
- Nothing? – he spoke half-inquired, half-stated a while later.
- How do you feel? I mean not only physically, my friend.
- I am fine, - he murmured.
Mirgannel, who was sitting next to Legolas, finally spoke up, for he, too, was distressed with Legolas' withdrawing.
- Come on, my friend, look around, - Legolas lifted eyes at him in question. – We all here know what is happening. It's not like you should hide your troubles from us now, since…
- Since we are trying to help, - Macarwel, his elder brother, finished the sentence.
Everyone fell silent, gazing at Legolas expectantly.
- Oh… well… - he paused to clear his throat. – I am… - he looked up into the sky, furrowing his eyebrows. – I can't find the right word. Confused. Surprised. Scared.
- What do you want to say? – Suiden raised an eyebrow.
Legolas frowned: his feelings were definitely not his favourite topic. For a moment I feared Suiden's interruption had ruined the chance for him to finally reveal what ailed him, but the he sighed and continued speaking.
- I mean… - I gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. – I mean, your… attitude towards me… - he chose words with difficulty, - is… unusual.
A long pause stretched, the only sound was cracking of the fire.
- I mean… You know who I am, you know I am a monster, and yet – unlike the others – you seem… Fine with that, - his eyes darted from one elf to another, and suddenly he once again looked like an animal at bay.
Mirgannel put a hand on his other shoulder in a friendly gesture as Legolas hung his head.
- I have killed thousands of innocent people. I am naught but murderer, beast, - he murmured. – And yet… And yet you don't… - his voice died down.
- You are not a beast! – Mitherir said. – You cannot blame yourself for what the gaur does. It is his deeds, not yours. You are guilty of none of them.
- You don't judge me? – Legolas glanced around in disbelief.
- We don't. There is nothing to judge you for, - Faunloth confirmed and the others nodded eagerly in agreement.
The Sinda looked down at his hands, blinking rapidly. It looked like a whole storm of thoughts was swirling inside his head, he seemed overwhelmed with contradicting emotions. Finally, he looked up, managing a small sheepish smile.
I remembered our talk back then, the evening before he disappeared. How he feared to make anyone suffer his own burden, how he was always alone. He is still barely an adult, a thought brushed my mind as I watched him.
- Thank you, - Legolas closed his eyes in contentment and sighed with relief.
I watched as genuine smiles lit other elves' faces.
-:- -:- -:-
- So, I believe it is time for us to tell about the events of the day when we fled from Kotar, - I suggested. – From my part, I can say that after parting with Nenirdan, Hirdan, Mothindil, Himhathel and Angalenn I found Legolas, and together we got to Onodlo, where I called for our horses and sent them after you. That is all, and now I am eager to learn about other pieces of the puzzle.
- Sure, my friend, - Menelmahtar spoke up. – though there wasn't anything really interesting about our part. We merely lent a helping hand to the villagers in fighting the fire. Lothadan got burnt when a house collapsed above him, but nothing too serious. No one else got any injuries worse than Lothadan's. Then our horses showed up and we headed to the river, for one of yours – who was that?
- 'Twas Angalenn, I spoke with him, - Mitherir prompted.
- Indeed it was Angalenn, now I remember, - Menelmahtar nodded in gratitude. – So, he told Mitherir about what had happened, and so we knew the general direction you chose and just followed you to the riverbank.
- I believe it is our turn now, - Himhathel said.
- Good idea, my friend, - I smiled. – Especially if you are kind enough to explain those somewhat strange shouts you five let out after I whistled.
- Oh, that, - Himhathel nodded. – Well, after you left, we joined the chain of people, so that one part of the circle was controlled by us only. We decided to use that as our advantage, despite the fact we knew not yet, how to act to help you. That was when Hirdan said he overheard people in the chain talking.
- That is true, - Hirdan confirmed, - I heard one of them, my neighbor, talking to the next one. He remembered a tale, that the wolf was so powerful not because he was Istar, but on the contrary, a beast patronized by a far more powerful… being, spirit, I know not how he called it. He said it was a Shadow filled with terror and dread.
- Then his neighbor confirmed his words, saying that might be the reason why the wolf seemed to be invincible and immortal. The Shadow guarded him, he said.
- After some time I felt they were dripping with horror, fearing that the Shadow itself will come and take the wolf away, so that they would not succeed in killing the beast and become endangered themselves. Their nervousness spread quickly, engulfing everyone who was in the circle, now that they, too, remembered the stories they heard. That was when I thought it could be useful, and passed my information to the others.
- So, when you signaled, - Mothindil continued, - all we had to do was just to give the humans a hint that their fears came true. You know yourself it worked amazingly: part of them ran in our direction, and together we led them away from that place, and the more cowardly part just fled, leaving their posts.
- There was no big problem in leading the humans away and leaving them there, they were so agitated they didn't even notice our absence. Sometime earlier, Angalenn departed to inform Menelmahtar about our situation. We remembered Legolas' habits and searched around for his belongings, - Legolas inclined his head gratefully. – Luckily, we found your traces, however faint, and discovered the place where your clothes and weapons were, though it was quite a task, - his companions nodded animatedly. – Then we met our horses and they carried us to the river where you both were.
A Shadow, I thought. I remembered the sense of evil that hit me back then, when the spirit left Legolas' body at the dawn. Maybe that was what humans meant by 'Shadow'?
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- May I have the guitar? – Legolas asked the next evening. We were spending the evening in eating, drinking and talking, and so far no one had taken any musical instruments out of our bags. His request made the others halt their conversations, for never had he sung or played since his first and only song, on that evening when we first heard about gaur.
- Sure, - after a moment of hesitation Kemenlor got up to his feet and went to get the instrument, for it was he who carried the guitar.
Legolas thanked him and ran his fingers over the strings, then paused, deafening the sound with his hand, and looked up, glancing over us.
- Umm… Well, this song… - he let a small smile touch his lips, - I composed it long ago. When I happened to get a guitar from one village… I couldn't find it the next month though, I hid it so well, - he smiled again, almost apologetically, and lowered his head. – It was not too much time after I left father's palace, and I was grieving terribly. So this song… I guess, it was dedicated to a friend, to a friend I never had back then, - he glanced around again, halting his gaze for a moment at me. Even if he was yet again sitting on the opposite side of the circle, I saw his grateful eyes through the flames. Other elves inclined their heads in comprehension and he started singing, intertwining gentle touches of strings with sharp strikes, creating unique mood and melody.
Take it,
I leave to you everything I hold dear.
It's not me, who should be walking on edge forever,
But, see, I'm doing that again.
Keep it safe
In torrents of time, I entreat you
I know not what will be further,
Mayhap we will meet again
You can't touch a dream with your hands,
You can't walk into the skies by foot,
I will never be back home
Forget
The Sun has fallen yesterday,
And today the grass is burning down,
The new golden Sun is shining.
Have no hope
Don't feel sorry for anything
The winter will be cold,
Will I, will I have enough warmth,
Not for all of it, but at least for a half?
Life is naïve but strict
Red wine and blood will be poured in streams,
The beast will be brought to bay,
That is what they told me
You are ahead,
I am behind, I am leaving you, I am turning into ice
Don't feel sorry for anyone
Life is naïve but strict
I am gone
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- Haldir?
- Yes? – I decided to have a small walk around our camp before going to sleep, while the others were preparing for night as well. I turned around to see Legolas looking at me attentively.
- I just wanted to say… - he looked away, then back at me again. – Thank you.
- It's… it's fine, I guess? – I said uncertainly, not entirely understanding.
- No! I mean it, - his eyes were dark against white skin. – You made me not give up. Somehow, you made me hold on. You gave me hope, - he murmured.
I just stood there, dumbfounded. Through months I haven't even noticed how we were growing closer together, and now realization hit me with full force.
- I… I can't bring myself to believing Lady Galadriel is able to help me, - the Sinda continued after a pause, - but the fact you are doing it all for me… It means a lot. Really.
That was when I realized I could hold back no longer, so I stepped up and wrapped arms around Legolas, pressing him tightly against my chest. I felt him stiffen for a moment, but then his arms went up and encircled my waist as well, hands clutching the fabric of my cloak. I kissed his temple, tears swelling up in my eyes. He pulled away and gazed at me, and a few moments later we shared a tender kiss. It was not a kiss of desire or passion – yet – but a kiss of pure care and affection.
There we stood in silence, needing no words, for our newly found feelings spoke for us.
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Uh-huh, so the attentive might already have guessed, what the change of genres means :) /hides
