Act 8 - The secondary effects of shockwaves (part 1)
To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed. – City of Bones
Love never claims, it ever gives; love never suffers, never resents, never revenges itself. Where there is love there is life; hatred leads to destruction. - Mahatma Gandhi
Anya had been prepared for the whispers and murmurs and occasional snickers that would follow her around today. Her fight with miss Blonde Popularity and the rest of them would have its consequences and they presented themselves in quite a predictable fashion, in Anya's opinion.
Compared to Hogwarts, these people were nothing, she thought, scorning them all.
It was easy for Anya to feel that way: she was weathered in forms of bullying much stronger that snickers and taunting glances. These passive aggressive idiocies were nothing compared to some other things Anya had seen and sometimes even experiences. She knew what it felt like to be haunted by idiots that had nothing better to do at the moment, just because they thought you a spaz. Boredom was a dangerous thing, and wizards got creative when they were after cheap entertainment.
More often than not, Anya had seen the line between harassment and cruelty crossed, and it was usually done in the name of harmless fun.
Anya ignored everyone as she packed her things and got out of the classroom with her head held high, just as she always did. She hardly spoke to anyone even on normal days, so her being taciturn was no surprise.
She let her bag fall on the floor of Sasha's classroom and started stretching by the bar. She was the only one there: class didn't start for another hour and a half. But Anya had already had lunch – a nice salad and some chicken breast - so she chose to use the time to practice some more.
"Hey there."
Anya turned around and saw Alicia standing there, leaning against the wall. For a second, Anya was frozen.
"Hey." Anya said uncertainly, only because it was an automatic response.
"Have you decided how we're going to handle this temporary breakup we've been having?" Alicia asked flippantly, but Anya knew that the nonchalant tone was just Alicia's way of hiding her emotions when she couldn't control them.
"I'm not so sure..." Anya murmured, eyes not wavering from Alicia's green ones. She decided that telling the truth couldn't hurt, so she did.
"I thought about apologizing to you for what I said yesterday, but then I saw Cleo and Diana laughing their arses off at me this morning and you didn't seem to mind – so I supposed you were still very much angry at me."
Ali looked away for a moment and nodded faintly, but said nothing.
At once Anya knew that this whole thing wasn't worth it. If they were true friends, they both deserved a chance to be so again. If not, then forgiving each other would nobody any real harm, since none of it would matter.
"I'm sorry about what I said to you, I was mean and insensitive and I shouldn't have directed my anger at you or shut you out like that, when you were trying to help. I'm just not… comfortable with sharing my feelings." Anya said it all in a rush and by the honestly stunned look on Alicia's face, she understood that the chocolate-skinned beauty hadn't come here expecting an apology.
What had she come for?
"I'm sorry about the hazing. Diana and Cleo have been busy badmouthing you to everyone willing to lend an ear." Alicia said, eyes serious, arms still crossed over her chest.
Anya snorted. "I don't care about what they have to say, you know that."
"I'm sorry I didn't stop them. I should have." Alicia looked away, unwilling to meet Anya's eye. Anya didn't really know what those two had been saying behind her back. Probably nothing untrue, but still very mean and hurtful. It didn't matter anyway. People would get over the rumours as soon as the next interesting event came along.
"You were mad at me, I understand. Besides, give it a couple of days and this too will be history."
Alicia looked up, her eyes stilled and her manner hesitating as if she didn't know what to say, which gave Anya pause. Alicia never hesitated, she was the most secure person Anya knew! There were a couple of stilled moments until Anya decided to break the silence the only way she knew how: callously.
"Ok, enough with the chick-flick moments, I can only take so much." Anya deadpanned as she took a long gulp of the cool water, feeling its freshening right down to her stomach. Alicia chuckled.
"Just so that we're clear, the next time we fight, it's your turn to take the first step to reconciliation." Alicia pointed out and Anya almost choked on her water, because laughing while drinking was never a good idea.
"Oh, so that's why you're here huh! Last time we fought I was the say sorry, so now it was your turn! And here I was, thinking you just missed me."
Alicia threw a splash of water Anya's way, which she didn't dodge effectively enough her arm wetting a bit. They laughed.
"Hey, just remember, you may have shown your face first, but I was the one who said I was sorry first." Anya pointed out. Alicia glared for a second, but the obvious was hard to deny.
"Bitch." Ali mumbled, but with a smile and Anya chuckled. The banter felt familiar, comforting.
"You seem really cool though. I expected to find you freaking out." Alicia said as she sat on the wooden floor next to Anya, who was doing some stretching, and leaned against the wall.
"Don't flatter yourself, you're not the centre of my universe!"
Alicia gave Anya a playful push, but her tone was equally serious when she spoke again "I meant that you look calm. Its unusual - considering that every time your mother catches a big one you're all over the place."
Anya tensed only for a moment, but then made herself relax.
"It's not that big a deal. Corruption in the ministry is hardly a new thing. My mother mentions it in almost everything she writes. Besides, I've decided I don't want to read the article at all."
There was a moment of silence, and then…
"What?"
Anya was caught aback by Alicia's high pitched tone, but she still responded in her usually calm voice. "It's just too weird, you know. Knowing the people involved, it just doesn't seem right to poke."
"Knowing the people involved? What the hell are you talking about Anya?"
"You know, Potter and Black. Bellatrix." Anya honestly couldn't help a shiver at that woman's name. Alicia kept looking at her as if she'd spouted off another head.
"This… the article isn't about James and Sirius, or Bellatrix for that matter. I mean, it starts with that duel, but then its gets into a whole other dimension." Alicia leaned in a bit, smoky green eyes looking into Anya's so intensely that Anya found it a bit disconcerting.
"Anya, your mother practically accused the Minister of Magic and his administration of direct corruption and wilfully covering up the workings of organized crime. This is serious!"
Going from the look of shock on Anya's face, Alicia gathered she had no idea about the severity of the situation. Alicia huffed, irritated. "Honestly, doesn't you mother tell you anything?"
"N-no. She… she doesn't like to talk about her stories before they are published, not even with me." Anya took a deep breath, closing her eyes as if to get it back together. "Is it really that bad? What did your mother say about it?"
And the question was strategic, because Alicia's mom worked directly for the Minister. Alicia looked around, as if to make sure they were alone, and then her head came closer to Anya's, and her voice was hushed.
"She almost choked on her coffee this morning reading it. She was up and ready to go through the fireplace in 5 minutes. And I heard my dad talking about it later; he says that there's a good chance that Wizgamot is going to raise a case and prosecute the Minister. If there is any proof of what you mother wrote, he could go to Azgaban."
Anya's eyes popped wide open and before she could form another word Alicia had already produced a copy of the Prophet from somewhere and thrust it in her face.
Anya hesitated.
This morning Anya had wondered whether or not she should read this article. She had never been someone who read a lot of news, she'd never needed to: her mother was like a live feed to everything she needed to know. But this time it had been different: inside those pages there was information that she wanted to know. Even though it did not really concern her, she wanted to know what happened, because it had happened to him.
Then Anya had wondered, what would he feel knowing that hordes of people outside his room are passing time reading about things personal to him…
What would he think? What would he do? Would he feel hurt? Angry? Anya didn't know, but she had decided that she would not join that multitude of people that after reading that article, would have assumed all kinds of things about the ones it spoke of.
She simply had not wanted to be one of the people he would resent…
But now she no longer had a choice in the matter.
And after talking with Alicia, she realized something else that made picking up that paper more easy: She had been wrong all along. This article was not just about him. He was just the leverage. Her mother's mess was, as usual, a lot bigger.
THE MINISTRY OVERTAKEN
BY PUREBLOOD GOLD
The real nature of the changes that are overtaking out legal and penal system
by Katherine Rain
oOoOo
Alicia watched as Anya stirred her tea and looked at a spot on the small rectangular table, her gaze vacant as if she was looking right through the wood. She had been waiting for Anya to give some sort of reaction other than two-worded sentences for a while.
After finishing the article, Anya had been silent and motionless like a stone. She'd simply rested her head against the wall as if her neck was useless and kept her eyes closed, like she was sleeping. But the furrowed eyebrows and tightly pursed lips drew on her face an expression of almost pain. Alicia had called out to her a couple of times and had felt the light touch of panic when Anya didn't give the smallest sign of hearing her. But when Alicia touched her, Anya jumped like a cat. Her eyes had been shiny and it was the closest Alicia had ever seen her to tears.
Somehow Alicia had convinced Anya to go outside, get some air. They had ended up in the small pub near the Academy. It was a quiet place where one could have a private conversation if one wanted to.
Too bad that Anya hadn't said a word for about 10 minutes.
The cloud in her eyes was thick, dulling the warm brown irises until they looked like muddled water. Anya had always been a person of few words, but she'd never been this kind of quiet ever before – and Alicia was starting to feel very uncomfortable… almost a bit afraid. It was like Anya's lips were sealed never to be opened again. There was something disconcerting about her stillness, about her vacant look… as if Anya's insides had drained.
But interrupting her, bringing Anya out of those murky depths she was into now felt… inappropriate.
Yeah, fuck that!
Alicia gathered all her Gryffindor courage and opened her mouth to speak.
"Anya, talk to me." she whispered.
Anya looked up, honestly confused for a second, as if she had no idea where or with who she was. She didn't say anything, just looked at Alicia with those painfully lost eyes and for a moment, she looked like a little girl of ten.
What is happening to you?
That question had been banging around Alicia's skull for a while now.
"…after the incident in Nocturn Alley, a generous amount of gold was transferred from the Black vault into the Minister's fund for the his next campaign… …while disappearances in the north and west of England keep piling up and the responsible are nowhere near to being apprehended…"
"Your head is practically exploding. I can hear the buzzing from way over here. Just get it out. Talk to me." Almost a plea, a soft enticement.
The words behind the words: Let me help you.
For the first time in her life, Anya honestly wanted to talk it all out. No thinking about whether or not to tell the truth, but just to blurt it out and not feel sorry for doing so. No walls… She wanted to open up wide and vomit all her thoughts out. She wanted to be free of them so badly that she could almost cry from the desperation the feeling provoked.
"…seemingly no parallel between these two situations, but the way the Ministry has handled them proves the contrary: lockdown of entire city clocks, seizing of witnesses and erasing of all evidence was a modus operandi of our law enforcement patrols…"
But Anya couldn't do it… and the sensation of being stuck - trapped in her life like a bird in a cage - was like being on the verge of madness!
"…hooded people that go around the countryside breaking the Treaty of Hiding, torturing muggles and then killing them in front of their families… … with new ways to legitimize old prejudice are being found every day, so is it really such a surprise that muggles and mugglebors are now dying?"
Alicia felt more than saw Anya's hesitation. And unexpectedly, it hurt. Seeing Anya become more and more lost in herself as days went by and turned into months had done something to Alicia, changed something in her. And maybe she was growing up, and her priorities changing, but every day that Alicia thought she was losing her friend, became a day more that she realized she didn't want to.
So Anya's lack of trust in her now, when Alicia was feeling so exposed, upset her like it never had before. If before Anya's reluctance in spilling the beans about anything that might concern her person was just something that characterized her, now her silence meant lack of trust and it was surprisingly wounding.
Apparently it showed, because Anya's face changed from expressionless to alarmed.
"It's not that I don't want to! Alicia…" They locked eyes and Alicia read the despair in Anya's face as if it was written in red letters on her forehead. It was an expression she'd never seen before.
"I really do want to get it out, but… I can't. Because all I'm thinking about right now is my mother and when it comes to her, I can't say anything to anyone because everything about her is so…" Anya struggled to find a word that would fit, but Alicia got there first.
"Complicated?" Alicia offered and the relief that came off Anya washed over her like a wave.
"Yes!" Anya said with a smile that was at once hopeful and apologetic at the same time. She was hoping Alicia would understand.
"Honey, my father works for the inner offices of the Department of Mysteries and my mother is the executive manager of the Minister of Magic. The last thing you need to explain to me is 'complicated'. I mean, my household practically invented the concept!"
Anya breathed easy for the first time since she had finished reading that awful thing.
'Trust Ali to infiltrate jokes even in the most dire situations.'
Dire situation… was this one of those?
"…Witnesses have identified the aggressors beyond any reasonable doubt… AlastarMulciber, Gregory Nott, Dorian Avery, Luscious Malfoy, Bellatrix Black, Frederic Goyle, Rodolphus Lestrange, FiliusCrabe… seen in various crime scenes by multiple muggles whose memories were conveniently erased by ministry officials at a later time…"
Anya had lived long enough near Katherine to know when a big story caused big reverberations. This was one of them. Her mother had accused some of the most esteemed members of society of murder, torture, corruption and organized crime. Katherine hadn't even left it at that. She had even made the name of the leader!
Be it not for her mother to do anything half-assed.
"…the truth: These criminals that roam the streets of our cities are not unorganized. We have him, the leader of these seemingly random acts of mayhem: the wizard who goes by the name of Lord Voldemort…"
Anya rubbed her temples. Her mother would either stand in trial as a witness to prove her accusations against the Minister, or stand trial for defamation.
And those… those purebloods. How could she have made their names like that? Those people were not normal. They were like a pack of wolves: if you harassed one of them, they would all turn on you and rip you apart limb by limb. And her mother dearest had made all their names, on the front page of the most read newspaper in the country!
They would go after her, Anya was sure. She has seen what those people were able to do to even when it came to one of their own. What was to stop them from going after Katherine in the same fashion? Or after Anya?
Was that Anya's destiny? To be repeatedly sucked into fights she was doomed to lose from the start?
Anya barely contained her tears. She would never forgive her mother for this. Because in all honesty, if she were to admit the truth to her hears alone, it was not the trials and fights or even the fear of getting involved in something dark and bigger than herself that hurt Anya most. Because that's how she was feeling: hurt. More than she was scared or angry, she was simply hurting over the fact that once again, she felt completely and utterly alone in this world, as if she had no family even though her mother was still breathing.
"… the Ministry has yet to openly admit that the blood of Muggles and muggleborns is less valuable than the gold of the aforementioned families, but the excruciating lack of action in these matters is as good as an admission of such standards…"
The Ministry responsible for selling out its citizens, for holding double standards and allowing organized crime to go unpunished…
What did she think she was doing? Did she really think she was going to change the world? Anya was so angry that she could barely see straight: she knew it was all bullshit. People didn't care! The only thing that was going to change was their life – Anya's and Katherine's – they would have to shift again, because Katherine Rain just couldn't keep her yap shut!
Nobody ever told anybody was it was like to be with people who liked to go for sainthood, but Anya had learned on her skin the secret that nobody whispers: Belonging to someone so righteous meant being trampled by a world of wrongs they inflicted on those around themselves, just so they could do a little good.
The price of loving Katherine Rain would always be pain. Always. Loving someone who could live better if they were alone, someone to whom you were nothing but a dead weight, was horror.
It was loneliness that lasted forever.
It was hurting.
"You misunderstood me though." Alicia said, bringing Anya back from the whirlwind of her thoughts. "What I wanted to know was how you feel. You, not anything about your mother."
In that moment Alicia's eyes were so sombre, her face so intent that Anya wondered whether she knew the girl in front of her or not.
"I'm scared."
The confession came in the form of a whisper, as if Anya was afraid to say it any louder than that, because then it might become too real. A separate entity that would eat her up. The monster under her bed that she had always been so afraid of – the reason Anya still slept with her night-light on.
But there was no amount light that would make this go away.
How could she do this to me…
"I don't understand… why is she so suicidal?" Anya whispered, so low that Alicia had trouble hearing it.
I mean nothing to her, not even enough to want to keep me safe… nothing…
"… and I know its selfish but I'm wearing so thin. I hate her for what she does." Anya's voice broke and Alicia quickly got up to sit in the chair right next to her.
It was supposed to be the other way around, not like this. She was supposed to take care of me…
"…I just can't do this anymore… I'm tired, so tired…"
It was a string of whispers, not meant to be heard. Alicia didn't understand the meaning behind Anya's words, but she didn't need to. The desperation was so palpable that Alicia practically felt it as if it was hers. She'd never seen Anya like this… hell, she'd never seen anyone like this, and frankly it was freaking her out.
It was scary to realize to suddenly that under all those cold and indifferent layers, under the occasional arrogance and the unconcealed ambition, Anya was as capable of hurting so deeply. So much that Alicia knew she would never get to understand the depth of that pain. Even contained, the mere radiation of the emotion made Alicia want to flinch away, for fear of getting caught in the a whirlpool that felt all-consuming.
It scared her, yes… but Alicia was nothing if not brave. She didn't distance herself. She came closer, even when Anya flinched under her touch.
Alicia didn't understand all this hurt, it seemed an extreme reaction. She had been expecting surprise, anger. Some kind of rebellion – she knew that Anya was more than capable of it - but not this… this resigned desperation.
No, she didn't understand, but as she watched her friend being swallowed by her grief, Alicia realized that she didn't need to because she was not here for herself. She was here for Anya. Even if all she could do was stand close enough to let her know she wasn't alone.
And Anya being herself, didn't make this breakdown last more than it was absolutely necessary. It seemed to Alicia that the second Anya had the capacity to get herself together, she did, pulling up all her pieces and putting them back to their places, forcing herself to calm down. It was extraordinary the way she could do that, but then again, Alicia had never met anyone more self-disciplined than Anya.
10 minutes later Anya was pretending to be alright. She wasn't shaking anymore and her voice was smoother, even though her face was paler than usual.
"May I stay over at your place tonight?" Before Anya could finish, Alicia had already agreed. But on second thought…
"Are you trying to avoid your mum?"
Anya didn't answer and Alicia chose not to push it.
They were about to leave when, as she was getting up, Anya almost bumped into someone that had stepped in her way. Reflexively, without even looking up to see the person, Anya apologized and sidestepped. She looked up, confused, when the person put themselves in her way again.
Once Anya saw who it was however, the air froze in her lungs, her heart doubling its pace so fast that it hurt.
Oh…
Anya hadn't thought it would happen so fast…
"My, my, what a wonderful coincidence."
Anya instinctively took a step back as the sweet tilt in Bellatrix Black's voice filtered in her eardrums. Every instinct she had rand high and screamed at her to run. But there was nowhere to go…
"Bellatrix." Alicia's calm voice from right next to her was a sweet relief. At least she wasn't alone… "What brings you out to muggle London?"
Bellatrix merely speared Alicia a disinterested glance before she turned her heavy-lidded eyes back to Anya.
"It's such a fortune that I should meet you. You're just the person I wanted to talk to."
Anya thought about her wand, but she knew it would do her no good. She would be flat on her back before she even got it out of her pocket. Anya had already seen Bellatrix in action, she knew exactly what that witch was capable of.
"Too bad, we were just leaving. Another time perhaps." Alicia said curtly.
Anya seemed to have lost her voice. Her heart was beating where her vocal cords should be. Alicia apparently thought that this was no more than an attempt to intimidate, but Anya knew better. Bellatrix was a pure sociopath. Meeting her here hadn't been a stupid coincidence. Coincidence was wearing the same shirt two days in a row. Bad luck was stepping on something nasty on the sidewalk.
Meeting Bellatrix Black in a pub, in the middle of muggle London – that's the result of a carefully premeditated course of action.
And Bellatrix Black wasn't the kind to pay social visits or make petty threats. Bellatrix Black specialized in pain, because she loved causing it. She loved the control and that being over someone helpless gave her.
Alicia lightly took Anya by the hand and tried to pull her away, but she was stopped too. By a man Anya had seen before. His face had stared at her from the page of her mother's article.
"Sit down." He said. Two words that carried all the threat he hadn't bothered to voice. Lestrange's eyes were too cold not to be dangerous.
Alicia looked around and finally the full meaning of the situation started to sink in. This wasn't Hogwarts - no teachers here to run off to… Alicia had thought that with a bit of craftiness, she could slither her way out of this, but now she knew it was a trap. Anya had gotten to that conclusion faster – she had been surrendered right from the start, so it cost her nothing speak up now.
"Alicia, could you please wait for me outside. I'll be right there."
Ali looked at her wide eyed. "No bloody way in hell."
Alicia knew who she was up against, she'd have to be completely bonkers to leave Anya alone with those two vultures. Even if it was in a pub full of muggles in the middle of the day.
Lestrange looked at Alicia as if she was the shit he'd just stepped on. His tone was hard, ordering. "Disappear, vermin."
Alicia turned her glare towards him, her fingers a breath away from her wand. "Fuck yourself, creep-face. I'm here to stay."
And she planted herself on the fourth chair as if she was going to set roots there and never get her ass of it. Anya felt her heart skip a beat or two, but before Lestrange could say anything, Bellatrix beat him to it, her tone as friendly as ever, her eyes maniacal enough to put fear in any rational mind, staring at Alicia with an intensity that burned.
"There is no need for such language. After all…" now Bellatrix's eyes were on Anya, who instinctively flinched. "… I am here merely to give you a message. Just a little something for your mother…"
Anya's heart was beating like a mockingbird's wings, her palms were sweating. She felt as if the beautiful woman before her was barely human. The way Bellatrix's smirk looked so predatory didn't help, and Anya could swear that her teeth her pointy, like a shark's.
As Bellatrix leaned in, Anya leaned back, instinct telling he to keep her distance is she wanted all her pieces intact.
There was a movement under the table, Anya caught it, but before her brain could register anything more - hell imploded right then and there, in the muggle pub in London.
