They say it takes twenty-one days to form a habit. They never said how much time it took to undo that same habit. Every day for the past four years, Chloe had woken up alone in her bed, Aubrey's side completely intact. Every morning, she would stir and sigh until Maddie got up. Her dog was the only reason she could get up in the morning when the first thought to hit her mind was that she had killed her fiancée. Of course, nobody accused her of anything, but they didn't need to, because Chloe was deeply persuaded that everything was her fault. She never stopped hoping that a miracle would happen and that Aubrey would wake up, but the doctors had been firm with her: the blonde's brain was dead. They kept her body alive with machines, but nothing was alive anymore in Aubrey. They knew better than to suggest to let her go, because the last time they did, they unleashed a ginger fury which revealed a side to Chloe nobody would ever want to cross twice.

It didn't take Chloe twenty-one days to get accustomed to Beca's body during the night. It didn't take her twenty-one days to feel safe in the morning, reaching for her hand. It took her one day only, and she knew that it was right, that everything they were doing was okay. The redhead knew she still had to make a decision about Aubrey, but at least, she didn't have to do it alone. The next morning, they woke up in a kind of haze, and Chloe was smiling because for the first time in four years, she woke up not to the thought that she had taken the life of her lover, but that she was feeling good. Being with Beca was what she had wanted in college, but she didn't regret the time she had with Aubrey.

"Good morning beautiful." She heard herself call, wrapping her legs around Beca's hips.

The brunette turned around, already smiling, and snuggled close to Chloe, her eyes still closed. She was hoping for a nice morning with the redhead, but Beca didn't know today was already planned in Chloe's head, and the music producer wasn't really included. The older woman had missed four days at the care center, they must think she had abandoned her fiancée, so she wanted to visit Aubrey, but she wasn't ready to bring Beca. She shook her a little bit to wake her up.

"Wake up, Beca, we need to talk." She said in a soft voice, her lips brushing Beca's ear and sending shivers down her spine.

"Talk, uh? This looks more interesting." She replied, cupping Chloe's chin to kiss her, her eyes still half closed with sleep.

She ran her fingers across the ginger's toned stomach, about to reach her goal when another hand stopped her. Chloe sighed in her neck, and Beca knew this was serious, and something was bothering her. She opened her eyes and kissed her nose before pulling her in her arms.

"Okay, we'll talk, Chloe." She simply said, resting her head on top of the other woman's.

"I don't know what we'll do, but I know that I don't want to let you go, not again. I don't regret the time I've had with Aubrey, and I am truly glad that you're here right now. It's just that I can't let go, you know? I can't just let go of everything that's been my life ever since you've been gone to get with you, you know? It doesn't seem right, doesn't seem fair to Aubrey. I guess I owe you some explanations first, because the night you" she struggled a little, feeling all the pent up emotions rushing down on her "you sang to me, I was in shock, and I still am, but it's not entirely because of her state, it's more because…"

This, she couldn't say. She simply couldn't bring herself to say aloud what has been lurking for the past weeks. She shut her lips tight and looked down, pressing her eyelids hard to repress the tears forming behind them. She wanted to be strong, to be good; she didn't want to break down every time she had to think about what was coming. Taking a deep breath, Chloe formed the words in her head before saying them out loud.

"Because in three months I have to make a decision even simply thinking of makes me want to throw up. In three months, it'll be five years since Aubrey has been in a coma, and I signed a five-year contract, if you want, with them, and it's coming to an end and I don't know what to do."

Beca was at lost, now, she wasn't sure she understood everything Chloe was saying, but it was distressing her beyond predictable. Beca held on to her shaking shoulders, watching as she crumbled in a puddle of hurt and tears in her arms, frozen in agony because she was so helpless. She didn't know what to do, she was never the one to comfort others, she was the one running away from complex feelings. This one was exactly what she had tried to avoid ever since Barden. This feeling of nothingness and emptiness in her chess, the feeling that she wasn't enough fighting with the feeling that she could move mountains to make sure Chloe was alright in the long run. Those mixed emotions petrified her as the woman she was so fond of groped her body like it was her only anchor, her nails digging under the thin fabric of her shirt.

"Beca I can't let her go. I can't make that decision, it's not mine to make, but her parents are nowhere to be found, and she doesn't have any other relative. Even if she had, it wouldn't change a thing, because Aubrey has put me as her agent in her living will, so I'm the only one who can make this decision. But I don't want to Beca, I don't, I can't even think of life without her."

Chloe was rambling now, she knew it, but Beca didn't do anything to stop her, she simply clutched at her shoulders a little tighter until the redhead could breathe normally again.

"Chloe, I really want to help you, I do. I know it sounds weird coming out of my mouth, but time has passed and things have changed. But one thing hasn't I'm still madly into you, and I want to do anything I can to help you get through this. I need something more than that, though, because, frankly, I don't even know what decision you have to make. You're scaring me right now, and I hate that."

It was nothing more than a whisper, a raw and low whisper that came out hushed and fast, but Chloe understood every word of it, and a part of her heart was gorging with relief that she was actually not running away while the other was shrieking and burning from pain because if she was there to stay, that meant Aubrey had to go.

"I have to decide if I pull the plug on every machine keeping her alive or if I pay for another five years of caring in that center." she said in a sharp breath of pain, her voice breaking at the end.

Beca nodded simply and rubbed large circles on her back until the alarm clock went off and she realized they had been awake for two hours now, but it was only seven in the morning. Maddie scratched at the door and the brunette waited for Chloe to jump up, but the older woman had fallen back to sleep. This must be so hard for her, you could at least take the damn dog out, give her a bit of peace for now, Beca thought to herself, trying to motivate her legs to let her get up and take care of Chloe's dog. She grunted, but slowly put Chloe's head on her pillow and struggled with the sheets ― not really ― before opening the door. She blocked a muscular mass that rushed through the opening and hissed at the dog trying to get in.

"No! get out! Get. Out." she said, pushing Maddie with her knee until the dog backed away long enough for her to close the door behind herself. "She's asleep, you let her sleep demoniac creature!" she spat angrily at the dog, wagging it's tail.

She tiptoed to the backdoor, but she could have jumped everywhere it wouldn't have made any differences because the dog was galloping from the door to her so loudly Beca grimaced the whole way. As soon as she opened the door, the dog bounced out and she closed it with a sigh, only to find Chloe standing in the kitchen's entrance, a small smile on her face.

"What?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Nothing, you're just really cute when you're scared." Chloe replied, making her way to the coffee machine.

"Scared? I wasn't scared, I was trying to make as little noise as possible because you were sleeping." she said, looking away, blatantly lying, which made Chloe chuckle.

"Whatever you say. She's ready to come in, want to let her in and feed her?" she asked, her eyes squinting in a teasing way.

"I think it's best if you do it." Beca replied before walking away, stealing a kiss from Chloe's lips as she passed her. "I'm going to get dressed."

Chloe let Maddie in and fed her while Beca grabbed all of her clothes and packed her bag to go home. When she went in the kitchen, Chloe was sat at the island counter, looking down.

"Hey, Chloe, call me if you need anything, ok? I know you need time to process everything, but, uh… I'm there, ok?" she wasn't sure what to do, or if what she said was alright, but she needed to tell Chloe, to reassure her ― or herself? ― that this time she wouldn't run away.

Chloe nodded, but she didn't let go of Beca's hand. She couldn't. Just a little more time, five minutes, and I'll kick her out if I need to. Just.. five more minutes with her. I'm not ready. She was trying to bargain with her reason, but she knew better than to start this little game with herself. She finally let go of Beca's hand and with a final little smile, she watched her get out of her house. She didn't even ask herself how she knew she had to go, she was simply glad she didn't have to ask her to leave. Chloe wasn't sure she would've been able to do that though.

She sighed and looked at her dog, who wagged her tail, completely oblivious to everything that was going on.

"Come on Maddie, we're going for a walk." she said and the Mastiff jumped on its paws and ran to the door.

The center wasn't opened until eight and she needed to clear her mind before going. It had been almost a week since she had seen Aubrey, and her mind made sure to remind her the way she looked before, not after. She took her dog out for a long walk around the block, and when she came back, she took a cold shower to wake her up and set her mind straight. Then, Chloe settled Maddie on the porch and climbed in her car.

"Good morning, Ms Beale." the receptionist at the entrance of the center said with a charming smile.

Chloe waved at her and smiled before walking to the elevator. Second floor, on the left, at the end of the hallway; room 207. She took a deep breath, refusing to look in the window of the room before entering. She pushed the door slowly, noticing that somebody had trimmed the flowers she had brought last time and opened the curtains. The room bathed in sunlight, making lights and shades dance on Aubrey's very still features.

She was lying on her bed, her arms rigidly set by her sides, her palms flat on the sheets covering half her body. Her head was slightly turned towards the sun and Chloe thought it was a nice attention the nurse had. As she approached her, Chloe could see the little details that reminded her of everything that had happened that day. Her pale skin was glowing with the look of those who were ill. Her hair needed to be washed; Chloe was the one doing it usually. Her long blond locks had split ends and were greasy at the roots. She could see the scars of the accident on her face; the pink line traveling from her right eyebrow down to her cheek because of the shattered glass; the thin white scar splitting her upper lip in half vertically because of the shock of her head on the dashboard; her earrings had been ripped out of her ears in the accident and her earlobes were still separated.

Chloe took Aubrey's hand in hers, her eyes focused on her fingers, watching in hopes of any movement, but nothing came and she sighed. She sat down beside her and the memories flooded through her. Usually, she would read her favorite book to her, but today, she felt like something different. She wasn't ready to tell her about Beca, not right now, this was their moment together, this was them, not Beca and her. She pulled her chair closer and rested her head on Aubrey's shoulder, closing her eyes before the tears could take over.

"Do you remember that time I found a stray cat in the pouring rain on my way home? We had just moved in and I was complaining the house felt too impersonal, we needed to fill it with something? I remember. It was raining like hell, and I could barely see the road, but I still saw that little thing on the sidewalk, trying to fight the wind and the water. I braked so hard it made you swore and sent you into panic mode instantly. You asked what was wrong, if we had hit something, but I said 'No, there's a stray cat on the sidewalk!' and with that, I opened my door and went to get it. You were quicker than me though, and you blocked my way. 'Are you insane?!' you shouted, and I looked at you like you were the crazy on. 'Its lost, Aubrey, and it's pouring, we gotta take it home with us.' I answered, but you wouldn't move. I tried to pass you, but you grabbed my hand and pleaded to get home, it was freezing. 'No, I'm not leaving that cat out here, Aubrey.' I told you, and you rolled your eyes and went back in the car.

Do you remember what happened after that? I got the cat and we went home, and you instructed me to go change my clothes and take a hot shower to make me stop shivering, or I'd get a cold. You were always the one to take care of me because I was so reckless it drove you crazy. By the time I got out of the shower and changed into dry clothes, you were sitting on the couch with the cat wrapped in a blanket, and you were purring sweet stuff into his ears almost as loud as its own purring. I wanted to squeal, to jump in front of you and say 'HA! I knew you'd like it!' but it was so perfect; you looked so adorable just scratching it behind the ears and muttering cute things, I couldn't disturb you.

So instead, I snuck up behind you and watched you ooze out adorableness for a solid five minutes before the cat fell asleep and you put it down the couch. Remember how you tried to deny everything that just happened, how I cornered you in the kitchen before you finally gave in that yes, you did like the cat. Remember how much you cried when we found its home three days later? It was just a stray cat that you didn't even want in the first place, but you told me after that that your parents never allowed you to have pets, and that's how we got Ginny.

But when we moved again to be in our house that we have now, Ginny ran away, and we never found her. I remember how sad you were, but also how you said 'Well, at least, she gave us happiness for the time she was with us, and I don't regret that.' Do you remember, Aubrey? Because I do, and this memory keeps coming back in my mind. How, even through your own hurting because you lost something dear, you were thankful for the moments you had shared with it. I feel like it's my reason trying to tell me to let you go, to cherish the time we had together and to not regret the time we won't, but how can I do that? You were my everything, Aubrey, and look where I put you."

Chloe was softly sobbing now, her eyes closed, and she squeezed Aubrey's hand. She knew her girlfriend wouldn't squeeze back, but she couldn't help the anger to rise inside of her. This wasn't fair. She was supposed to be the one in that bed, not her. She was supposed to be the one who's breathing was assured by a beeping machine, whose heart was still beating only because blood was pumped in it by another machine. Chloe rose to her feet, she couldn't stay here any longer. She kissed Aubrey's lips with a trembling mouth and walked away. She knew what she had to do, she simply didn't want to do it.