"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." – Oscar Wilde

Thanksgiving came faster than I could comprehend. The month had gone by like a blur in the midst of classes and dealing with an arrogant stalker of a vampire. Most of my days had been spent on schoolwork and trying not to go insane because of Alec's bipolar behavior (who made aforementioned schoolwork harder since I had to climb up a stepladder every time I needed a pencil, messing up his 'Constellation of Alec' and getting him pissed in the process).

Alec was also getting a lot friendlier with Chelsie, who blushed and stammered every time he talked to her. Some part of me acknowledged that I should find the scene of the two laughing about something (undoubtedly pointless) cute but I didn't. I wasn't quite sure why I wanted to stab Chelsie to death with a letter opener every time she made Alec smile because she hadn't done anything terrible to me. The redhead was quite pleasant and kept to herself, didn't bother people (except Alec) and was a considerate and respectful roommate. I should want to kill Alec because it was what I've been fantasizing about since the first time he opened his big, haughty mouth… but I didn't. I wanted to do terrible things to Chelsie, not him.

"You okay, Ness?" Jacob asked me as I sulked, pouting miserably in the passenger seat of the rabbit.

For Thanksgiving dinner my family decided on who got to pick me up by the Annual Thanksgiving Cullen Family Rock, Paper, Scissors Match. Three year reigning champion Aunt Alice, after conquering Mom, sullenly lost to Dad who was later disqualified because of the 'No Powers' rule in the game and Uncle Emmett won by default. Uncle Emmett was defeated later by Uncle Jasper who later on was sadly beaten by Aunt Rosalie who just finished off with Grandpa Carlisle. The last remaining two were her and Jacob (who trounced Grandma Esme), it was a brutal match that went on for hours until Jacob was able to win by countering Aunt Rosalie's rock with paper. While Jake whooped in joy, Uncle Emmett held his wife back from making more brutal use of her fist so as Jacob had triumphantly relayed the story to me.

"Cheer up, Monster Girl," I glared at him for mentioning the nickname, he only laughed. "It looks like Monster Girl's testy today. What's the matter? Tell Jacob everything."

I glared harder at his joking tone and crossed my arms, turning to the car window to watch the scenery instead.

"Aww, Nessie, don't be like that!"

"Silence, you overgrown dog,"

"Ouch," He gave a dramatic pained hiss. "That hurt, Nessie."

I shrugged casually. "I'm just being honest."

"Still you wound me so….with your words that cut like a sharp knife."

I stared at him oddly. "Alright, what have you been drinking?" I was completely serious, he was beginning to sound like Dad and it was disturbing me, immensely.

He only shrugged, chuckling and I rolled my eyes.

Upon arriving, we were instantly greeted by Aunt Alice who after hugging me, surveyed me and proceeded to drag me upstairs to my room to change (pushing aside anyone who got in our way, shouting, "Move!"). No one was brave enough to go against her when she was in her fashionista mode and we spent the good of two hours choosing an outfit for me to wear ('we' as in Aunt Alice ransacked my closet while I sat on the bed as she threw me outfits to try on).

Everybody else was able to greet me properly when we got downstairs, all waiting their turn to hug me and harass me about college life (Aunt Rosalie), if I was doing well in school (Grandma Esme), if I partied a lot (Uncle Emmett), or if I finally lost it to some boy (still Uncle Emmett). Dad had responded to the last two questions with another one of his if-looks-could-kill glares. Unfortunately, Uncle Emmett didn't even look the slightest bit phased.

Dinner had always been a bit of an odd occasion since the only people who ate were Jacob and me and the rest spent the majority of it talking about some random topic whether it is the secrets of the universe or the best cheese to go with pasta. Or they would just suddenly stop to make gooey eyes at each other, Jacob and I used to make disgusted faces when I was younger.

I always felt like a bit of an outsider because my grandparents, my parents, my aunts and uncles all looked so in love with each other. It was like looking at a real life Hallmark Valentine's Day card, so beautiful and nauseatingly sweet. Jacob used to shield my eyes when they got too cozy, shouting at them, "Don't traumatize the kid!" until they pulled away.

I glared at the flute of apple cider I had in hand since Mom wouldn't let me drink any champagne or wine because I was still a 'child'. And yet after a glance at Jacob, she let him drink. You shouldn't let crazy people drink, it was unseemly.

Grandpa Carlisle tapped his empty flute glass with a knife to get our attention and proceeded to start the Thanksgiving speeches. Everyone was thankful for the same thing, a loving family, their significant other, infinite happiness, and peaceful lives.

Jacob ended up making me blush. "I'm grateful for Nessie, the best friend an overgrown dog could ever have," I slugged him on the arm as I tried to make my face return to normal color, everyone else laughed.

Finally, it was my turn. "What I'm grateful for…" My eyebrows furrowed in thought, trying to scrounge my mind up for something. I'd already thanked the previous Thanksgivings for everything else about my blessed life, a great family, an awesome (but annoying) best friend and a comfortable lifestyle. Nothing's happened to me that would've made any impact that I would consider meaningful enough to be grateful for…

His hand unexpectedly started playing with my hair, his fingers twirling the rust curls languidly….

He was humming that song again…

his eyes were looking so confidently into mine that I felt my cheeks grow insufferably hot…

I was entranced by that almost gentle look in his eyes…

"Alec…"

His hand moved to my cheek, his cold skin caressing mine as he smiled softly. "Goodnight, Pet,"

"I'm grateful for change," Nonchalantly, I raised my flute and took a long sip.

I spent the rest of the evening feeling like a chewy toy being fought over by overeager puppies, each one of my family (including Jacob) tried to steal my attention to pester me about what's been happening about my life or simply just to tell me some story that I only half-listened to. I knew I should feel guilty for being sick of all this attention but I wasn't, their overzealousness was making me uncomfortable.

Things got crazy when Uncle Emmett and Jacob had an impromptu wrestling match and Uncle Jasper opened a betting pool. While the insanity heightened and destruction of nearby furniture commenced, I snuck away to get some air and (hopefully) peace and quiet.

I ended up in Grandpa Carlisle's study and observing the painting of the Volturi with growing interest. The faces were all beautiful, elegant and just like this painting, ethereal. To a stranger, they wouldn't guess that these breath-taking men could be cruel and apathetic, Caius with his eternal anger, Marcus with his indifference to everything and most of all, Aro with his brutality in seeking for power. With such otherworldly appearances, no one would've guessed they were monsters.

"That's a bit harsh,"

I gasped in surprise at the sudden voice and at seeing who it was, tried to calm down my rapidly beating heart. "Dad, you scared me."

He smiled ruefully. "Sorry,"

"It's okay," A crash resounded from outside the study. "They're still at it?"

Dad nodded bemusedly. "Alice already told Jasper who's going to win and they'll all just end up losing their money," He shook his head morosely at our family's eccentric behavior. "So, is anything the matter? Your mother sent me to check up on you."

"I'm fine," I turned back to the painting on the wall and wondered idly what circumstances brought Alec to serve them. Did they come to him, offering him grand things? Or did he come to them as a human in quest for perpetual life? Alec didn't really seem like the subservient type to me, he enjoyed getting his way too much and imagining him following the every will of these vampires was incomprehensible.

"Renesmee…."

I turned and found Dad looking searchingly in my eyes and I knew that he was reading my mind, searching for my memories of Alec which I tried best to hide in the farthest part of my mind but he was relentless, breaking down every barrier until he found what he was looking for.

He looked at me seriously, like he was scolding me for something bad I've done and it dawned at me in chilling horror that he knew and no denying could change his mind about what he'd seen inside my head. My breath hitched as I waited for him, inwardly panicking, to do something. My father was one of the most mature people I knew but now and again, he was prone to bouts of pettiness.

His eyebrows furrowed as he frowned, his golden eyes showing his disappointment and shock that the guilt I've been suppressing resurfaced and overwhelmed me like a sharp punch to the gut.

He let out a weighty sigh and shook his head and when he looked up his eyes shone with a sadness that made my stomach sink in even more shame. What have I done?

"Please just promise me you won't do anything reckless," His voice was constricted, controlled. "Anymore than you've already done, anyway,"

The shame punched me with another sharp pang and I watched miserably as he walked out the door, not bothering to hear my reply. I stood there, trying to breathe, like I was either going to collapse from the dizziness or throw up because the bile was rising in my throat. My Dad's words rung heavily in the glaringly quiet room and I never hated me so much than right then.


Sorry for the incredibly long wait but the muse was being stubborn and it took pointing a gun at for it to start being cooperative. Anyway, I'll update as soon as my muse recovers from the wounds I inflicted. And Happy New Year, everyone!