Does Bearheart like me too? Twistedtail thought. Was she flirting with me earlier? Or was it just a friendship thing? Does she even like she-cats too? What if she finds out and thinks I'm gross? She shook her head, trying to dislodge those thoughts. There were more important things to be worrying about than whether some she-cat liked her.
She let me sleep next to her, though, didn't she? But friends do that sometimes, don't they? Maybe she was just being nice- But Twistedtail finally snapped away from her thoughts when she noticed something.
A drop of blood was on Smallkit's shoulder. It stood out against the pale silver fur in between his stripes. Twistedtail felt a twinge of worrying and rushed forward to lick the blood away.
"Stop!" Smallkit mewed when Twistedtail started cleaning his wound. "I'm trying to walk!"
"You're hurt," Twistedtail said. The cut didn't look to be big, at least. Probably Smallkit's walking had broken a scab open. But that still left the question of… "How did that happen?"
"I fell on a thorn bush," Smallkit said, but he wouldn't meet Twistedtail's gaze.
"Smallkit…I'm not stupid. I know a clawmark when I see one." She felt sick with worry. "Who hurt you? Was it those rowdy WindClan kits you play with–"
"No!" Smallkit said. "Robinkit and Sedgekit wouldn't hurt me. They're my friends."
"Was it another clan's warrior? If it is we need to know who–"
"Not that, either. It wasn't a warrior at all."
"Was it…" A terrible thought hit Twistedtail, and she whispered to Smallkit in the hopes no one else would hear. "Was it Reedstar?" She didn't want to think of her mentor and leader as someone who would hurt kits, but if Reedstar had…
"No! No, of course not!" Smallkit's fur was bristling and his tail was puffed up. "Stop worrying about me, okay! You're not in charge of me! You're not even my mother!"
That stung Twistedtail more than it should have. She of course knew that Smallkit wasn't her kit, but she'd done her best to take care of him. And...and he might be her only chance to raise a kit. Assuming she could even find a mate, two she-cats couldn't have kits together. Her heart ached at the thought of never being a mother. All she might ever have is looking after Smallkit, and he didn't even think of her that way.
Her expression must have been showing her feelings, because immediately Smallkit looked apologetic.
"S-sorry Twistedtail, ," He stammered out. "I didn't mean to– I didn't mean–"
"No, no, it's fine." Twistedtail forced a smile. She was the adult in the situation, Smallkit shouldn't need to be the one comforting her. "It's true. But Reedstar told me to look after you, and she's your mother, so you need to trust me, okay?" He didn't say anything in reply, looked at the ground again.
They walked in silence for a few heartbeats before Twistedtail spoke up again.
"Will you at least let Shrewpelt look at it once we stop for the night?" She offered as gently as she could. "If it got infected, you could die."
"Okay," Smallkit said. Now that'd he calmed down, his tail was drooping.
"Do you want me to carry you for a while again?"
"No thanks," Smallkit said, his voice more tired than a kit's had any right to be.
...
Later, Twistedtail watched carefully as Smallkit played with his WindClan friends. He acted like a normal, happy kit again, tussling with the tabby tortoiseshell–Robinkit was her name, Twistedtail was pretty sure–while the tabby brother followed close behind. He'd occasionally reach out a paw to bat at Robinkit or Smallkit, but he usually missed. Despite that, he seemed happy to be playing with them.
Robinkit was bigger than Smallkit, but she never had her claws out and would let Smallkit up quickly when she pinned him. Twistedtail didn't think she was the one who clawed Smallkit; it was just normal play-fighting between friends. She was glad Smallkit had someone to play with; without his sister he would have been pretty lonely.
Twistedtail's littermates had been born dead, and she didn't have any siblings until her parents had Bluepaw a few moons after Twistedtail was made an apprentice. She often wondered what she'd missed out on.
"Twistedtail!" A chipper voice mewed, and Twistedtail turned to see Bluepaw darting toward her. "There you are! I wanted to talk to you!"
"Of course!" Twistedtail said, happy her little sister was here to distract her from her melancholy thoughts. "Sit down, why don't you?" Bluepaw flopped right down on the ground next to Twistedtail, her tail twitching excitedly.
"I need some advice," She said.
"Okay, on what?" Twistedtail asked.
"I…" Bluepaw leaned close to Twistedtal and whispered in her ear. "I have a crush on Wildpaw." She broke into nervous laughter. Wildpaw was a bright ginger apprentice Twistedtail had often seen Bluepaw talking to.
"Awwww, you two would make a cute couple!" Twistedtail made her voice super mushy, because what was even the point of having a little sister if you couldn't tease her a little. Bluepaw's tail puffed up, but she was still smiling. "But what do you need my help for?
"How do you make a tom like you?" Bluepaw said. Why did she think I'd know that? Twistedtail thought before her sister spoke again. "You must know something, because Stonefoot likes you a lot." Immediately Twistedtail's good mood vanished and her stomach felt cold.
"Does he really? I didn't know," Twistedtail lied. She did of course, but she hadn't wanted to believe it.
"Of course he does!" Bluepaw seemed excited, which only made Twistedtail more nervous. She didn't know–their parents didn't know either–that Twistedtail didn't like toms. Would they be mad? "Are you blind or something? He's always looking at you."
"Oh," Twistedtail said. "I didn't notice."
"So you didn't do anything to make him like you?" Bluepaw asked. Twistedtail shook her head. "Fox-dung. What am I supposed to do to make Wildpaw like me, then?"
"Just be yourself." Twistedtail gave a weak smile. "He'd have to be blind, deaf and stupid not to like you back." She leaned to give Bluepaw a sisterly lick on the ear, and Bluepaw reacted with mock disgust and laughter.
"Okay, okay, thanks," She mewed. Wildpaw walked past and Bluepaw immediately stared at him "I said I was gonna eat with him today so I better go. Bye Twistedtail!"
"Bye!" Twistedtail said as Bluepaw sprinted to catch up with Wildpaw. Bluepaw's face lit up when he noticed her, and they immediately began chatting.
Her heart feeling much lighter, Twistedtail turned her attention back to Smallkit and his friends. They were playing a little closer to her now, and she could hear their happy mews. For one moment, the morning was perfect and golden, and Twistedtail let go of her worries.
And then she saw something that chilled her to the bone.
Robinkit's brother, the slow tabby kit, had a sizable chunk taken out of his ear. One that was unmistakably made by claws far, far too big to be from a kit.
"What do you mean, you're expecting kits?" Woodpaw shouted.
"What do you think it means!?" Nettlenose spat. Their mate, Daisyfur, stood beside them, his blue eyes wide and hopeful. Nettlenose was curled around him protectively, despite the fact that Nettlenose was the one carrying the kits.
"I know, I know," Woodpaw replied, trying to keep his voice even. "But–but if you have the kits before we find our new home, I don't know what we'll do. Newborn kits can't stand up to the journey and I doubt the others are willing to wait."
"We have three moons, don't we?" Nettlenose's gray fur was was bristling. Daisyfur licked the top of their head to soothe them, which they begrudgingly accepted.
"Less than three moons," Woodpaw said. He looked over his shoulder. Where was Lilypetal? She'd know what to do.
"Go get your mentor," Daisyfur said. The tom was always good at reading faces. He'd have to be, being mates with Needlenose. "We'll wait!" His voice was bright as birdsong, without a trace of anger or even frustration. Opposites really must attract.
Woodpaw stalked off to go find Lilypetal as the sun rose. He hated to admit it to himself, but he needed her help. Even if they disagreed all the time, she was still his mentor and an experienced medicine cat. She'd know what to do.
He caught her scent, as well as Rainfrost and Shadestar's. It made sense that they'd be talking, and he almost hated to interrupt what seemed to be an important meeting, but he needed Lilypetal's help. He turned the corner–
And Rainfrost was holding Shadestar down, her paw on the back of Shadestar's head, her claws unsheathed. The proud leader's eyes were wide and darting, but she wasn't even trying to struggle. Lilypetal sat beside them, her tail twitching in lazy satisfaction.
"This," Rainfrost hissed into Shadestar's ear. "Is what happens when you don't listen." Shadestar didn't so much as whimper when Rainfrost dug her claws into Shadestar's scalp, not even when red droplets of blood sprang up underneath. Lilypetal watched, impassive as ever.
"Lilypetal broke the code," Shadestar wheezed. The terror in her voice made Woodpaw's heart freeze. "She can't–"
"You're not fit to lead, Shadestar.." Rainfrost snarled, exposing her fangs. No one seem to even realize Woodpaw was watching. The wind was blowing toward him, so his scent wasn't getting carried.
Woodpaw wanted to rush forward. He so badly wanted to rush round the corner, claws blazing, and defend his leader, defend Shadestar who had always believed in him, always been kind to him, who loved her clan despite it hating her. But he couldn't. He was so scared. He couldn't take Rainfrost in a fight, couldn't hope to. He suspected Lilypetal wouldn't help him, either. So he cowered behind the rock, just like he'd cowered when his sister had been trapped under the burning den, when his mother had tried to save her.
"If you go to the clan about what you think Lilypetal did," Rainfrost growled. "I'll tell them all what you are. You understand?" Shadestar nodded. "Say it." Rainfrost insisted.
"I understand," Shadestar repeated. Rainfrost let her stand up, and she scampered away. Rainfrost and Lilypetal watched her until she was out of sight.
After a few heartbeats, Lilypetal sidled up to Rainfrost. Lilypetal was tall, but Rainfrost was taller. Just tall enough to rest her head on Lilypetal's, just tall enough for Lilypetal to snuggle into Rainfrost's neck fur.
Woodpaw realized with a jolt that this was a decidedly non-platonic interaction.
"You did great," Lilypetal purred.
"Should I be worried," Rainfrost said. "That you get so snuggly after I threaten cats?"
"You're pretty when you're angry." Lilypetal's eyes were closed, and her voice actually sounded happy instead of smug.
"You're pretty all the time." Rainfrost groomed the top of Lilypetal's head, much in the same way Daisyfur had groomed Nettlenose's.
So this is how Lilypetal had broken the code. Not only had she taken a mate, she was going against her leader. Woodpaw felt sick. He'd trusted Lilypetal, and she'd been keeping secrets from him the whole time. And Rainfrost...Rainfrost was supposed to be protecting Shadestar, not hurting her. And what had she meant about telling the clan what Shadestar was?
He still needed to ask Lilypetal for help with Daisyfur and Nettlenose. But he didn't want to let either her or Rainfrost know that he'd seen it all. If Rainfrost was willing to hurt their own leader, she'd probably be willing to kill any witnesses, too. He didn't know what to do. Even if he hid until Rainfrost left, could he fake not seeing anything?
...of course he could. He could easily go to that place in his head where he felt nothing, showed nothing. The place inside him burned empty by the fire. He took a deep breath and called for Lilypetal from behind the rock.
His mentor skittered around the corner, a sheepish smile on her face.
"Sorry," She said. "I was just talking with Rainfrost about an omen I got!" Liar, Woodpaw thought, but he said nothing.
"Nettlenose is expecting kits," He told Lilypetal. "I need your advice on how we're gonna handle things if we don't find our new home before the kits are born."
Lilypetal chattered away as they walked back to where Daisyfur and Nettlenose were waiting. Woodpaw couldn't focus as she advised the two cats. She was able to calm Nettlenose down, reassure Daisyfur. She was a good medicine cat, but Woodpaw didn't know if he'd ever be able to learn from her again.
He waited for Honeystar to appear in his dreams that night, but his dreams were dark and empty. He had never felt more alone.
