The What-ologist?
Dixie and Roy were walking side by side down the corridor on their way to the elevator. Dixie was pushing Gage in his wheelchair; a hospital requirement not a Gage preference.
"Well Johnny, your stay seems to have been rather entertaining this time." Dixie grinned up at Roy who was holding his breath trying hard not to laugh.
"Yea, yea, laughing at my pain as always, huh?" Gage was rambling but neither Dixie nor Roy heard a word of it. Johnny realized that he was no longer moving and turned to see what was going on.
There, standing underneath the sign for neurology was Roy, doubled over in a belly rolling, albeit silent laugh while Dixie was turned with her head facing the wall; her shoulders shaking uncontrollably as she fought valiantly to regain some measure of control. Neither could speak and Johnny remembered exactly why.
"Rampart this is squad 51, how do you read?" Johnny was holding the biophone in the crook of his neck while writing down the vitals of the victim as Roy called them out.
"BP 112/70, pulse 82" Roy said as he placed his right hand on the victim's abdomen while watching the second hand on his watch.
"Go ahead 51." Came the response from Dr. Brackett who was leaning over the base station inside the emergency room.
"Rate 12….he's starting to come around Johnny."
"Uh, Rampart we have a male, appla, uh approximately 30 years old. He's the victo, uh victim of an apparent seizure. He was unconscious when we arrived but is beginning to come around. Vitals are BP 112/70, pulse 82, respirl, um, respirations 12…." Shit, man.
Johnny rarely had difficulty pronouncing his words but for some reason on this particular run he was getting tongue-tied. He was thankful that at least he hadn't said anything too stupid and so far Roy didn't seem to have heard his speaking errors. Unfortunately, not only Roy but their patient was about to hear his worst slip-up yet.
"Hey, take it easy mister, just relax." Roy was gently pressing on the victim's shoulders in an attempt to ease him back to the floor of the restaurant. "Do you have a history of seizures?"
"Oh, geez, uh, yea….been about a year but yea, I do." The gentleman was becoming more aware of his surroundings and knew what must have happened. Anticipating the paramedic's next question, the patient continued. "I just saw Dr. Yearwood at Rampart about a month ago and he changed my medication to something newer…..and now this happens." He closed his eyes and released a frustrated sigh.
Johnny knew that Dr. Brackett would want to know that their patient's neurologist was on staff at Rampart so his medical records would be easy to locate.
"Uh, Rampart, be advised that the patient is under the care of a neul, uh neuterologist …"
Johnny cringed as he heard the word escape his lips and he was unable to finish his sentence. He gripped the biophone trying to figure out a way to snatch back the word he had just spoken into it.
Roy had a few unspeakable images passing through his mind while hoping beyond all hope that their patient had not heard what Johnny had just said.
"Uh, repeat 51." Came the ever professional voice of Dr. Brackett even though Dr. Early and Dixie were standing a few feet behind him wiping tears from their eyes as they laughed at Johnny's remark. Brackett even smiled although Johnny couldn't tell from the sound of his voice.
Their patient found the situation humorous and began to snicker as Johnny turned multiple shades of red. Staring down at the biophone and imagining what Brackett must be thinking, John just shook his head and began, "Doc, I don't think I can and I know I don't want to."
Finally catching their breath both Roy and Dixie looked down at the slightly embarrassed Johnny.
"Oh for crying out loud, would you two just drop it and let's go." John said as he turned around, hiding his smile, and stared at the elevator doors willing them to open.
