"Guh," Renji moaned, pulling his eye sockets down with one hand. "I'm pulling over, my eyes won't stay open anymore." After parking on the side of the road, he looked over at Ichigo, who was clinging to the arms of his chair, hair standing on end, face pale. "... Uh, what's wrong with you?"
"Oh, oh, nothing," Ichigo said, sounding stricken as he jerkily unbuckled himself and got out of the truck to change places with Renji. "I'm just thanking god that we didn't die all those times that you just konked out on the freeway like a goddamn narcoleptic."
"C'mon, I wasn't swerving that much," Renji complained, dark circles under his eyes. He pulled down the little mirror flap above his seat to take a look at his face, pale and sweaty. "Aw frick, I look like a box a' hammers, and that's an insult ta' hammers everywhere."
"Okay, mister dark lord, sleep while I drive," Ichigo demanded. "This whole thing with Yumichika's scumbag boyfriend has exhausted you." Ichigo pinched him, turning the key to turn the car back on.
"Hey, worrying about people is hard work."
"Tell me about it," Ichigo rolled his eyes, "I need a vacation."
. . .
"We're totally going on a vacation!"
"Really? I haven't had the money to go on a vacation since I got fired — even just going by myself."
"Oh yeah? You could probably try to get your old job back now that you're with me." Ikkaku grinned; he loved saying that. Yumichika was with him now.
Yumichika looked like he hadn't thought of that until that point, and he looked excited about the prospect. "I hadn't thought of that."
"This trip's gonna' be great. All our friends are goin' together — y'know, pooling our money."
"Oh," Yumichika smiled widely, "Good idea."
"So yeah, we'll just be going on a little weekend trip. Renji and Ichigo have been excited about it for months now, cause' they hardly ever get time off at the same time anymore."
"You're inviting me? Are you sure that's okay?" Yumichika asked uncertainly. "I didn't get an invitation, are you sure it's okay for me to just come along? I mean, I'll contribute, but..."
"It's definitely okay."
. . .
"This is so not okay," Ichigo raged, kicking the side of the car so hard that his foot left a dent in the door.
"Woah, woah, calm down baby, I'm totally gonna' fix it," Renji said, grabbing his tools from the flat bed.
Ichigo crossed his arms and glared at him with his mouth in a flat line, completely not in the mood for this. "No. Call a tow-truck."
"But, babe, I can-"
"Call a tow truck!" Ichigo screamed, picking up a rock off the ground and throwing it at Renji's head.
"Woah, geez. I dunno' what the hell you were calling me the dark lord for, you're really pissy today."
"Our day's completely ruined! You can't fix the car, it'll take twice as much time and money for you to fix it, so just call someone to come get it!" Ichigo was getting red in the face. Oh geez.
Renji hated when stuff like this happened, because Ichigo was seriously so close to blowing his stack lately, especially when it had to do with cars. Ichigo's own car had been undrivable for almost a year now, and now that their pick-up wasn't working, they're back to public transport — which isn't really that big of a loss, but still.
Renji cringed guiltily, because he knows Ichigo doesn't need this right now. He didn't want this to be the straw that broke his boyfriend's back.
"Okay, okay, I'm calling. Just... stop bein' so mad," he mumbled, leaning on the side of the truck.
Ichigo sighed, sitting down on the ground and leaning his back against one of the tires. "Looks like we're back to taking the subway." Ichigo looked so dejected and pitiful that Renji was starting to think those bad thoughts again about how his presence fucked up Ichigo's life.
He really shouldn't have messed with the car — but he had wanted to try out something he'd learned in class. After he'd tried to fix the air conditioner, he'd probably fucked something up, and now Ichigo was upset and stressed out because of it. Damnit. Okay sure, the air conditioner had to do with the electrical part of the car and not the engine, but still, Renji felt responsible.
"It's okay, it's okay, don't look like that." Renji held out a hand to him. "C'mon, sit in the cab, babe, it looks like rain."
"I'm not yer' babe," Ichigo growled, not taking his hand.
"Aw, c'mon..."
"I don't see any clouds," Ichigo said, so upset that he wasn't even scowling anymore; he just had that flat expression on, and it was tearing Renji to pieces, because that was how Ichigo looked when he was in front of his mom's grave, or when his car had gotten a boot on it and dragged away, or when he'd come home after one of those horrible fights. It was when he was forcing himself not to feel anything.
"I meant yer' eyeballs, baby. C'mere." He pulled Ichigo up, but Ichigo just pushed him away and got in the cab, shutting the door. He didn't even slam it or lock it — but it still hurts, being shut out.
"Fuck," Renji sighed, leaning against the back of the truck. "Yer' just not happy anymore, are ya'," he mumbled. "Hopefully goin' on vacation with everyone'll help ya' relax... Hopefully... or I'm just outta' ideas."
He kicked the side of the truck himself, swearing.
. . .
"Oh come on, everyone who's going are your friends too, right?"
Yumichika scuffed his foot on the ground a little. "Yeah, I guess so. I'll think about it. I've never been to that amusement park. And I like to swim, so it sounds fun."
"It's gonna' be bomb, baby."
Yumichika laughed a little, getting in his car, letting Ikkaku hop in the passenger side. "Sounds like fun."
. . .
"Riding the subway? It's like old times! Sounds like fun, right?" Renji nudged Ichigo, who was crossing his arms and sulking as they got dropped off at the subway station.
"Yeah, carrying a fuckload of groceries on the crowded subway sounds like a lot of fun, I can't fucking wait."
"C'mon, Look on the bright side. Don't get so mad." Renji carried his tool box in his hand, power drill in the other, and a bag over his shoulder. He couldn't leave their things in the car while it was at the shop — it might get stolen, or the legal documents in the glove compartment might be needed for other matters, so it all had to come with them.
"I'm not mad." Renji shut up. If that line got brought out, you'd best not say a goddamn word, especially not if Ichigo obviously was mad.
They rode most of the way to the city in silence, Renji sitting down on one of the benches with their things, Ichigo standing on the other side, smooshed in between a bunch of people while he looked out the window.
Everything seemed to be going okay until out of the blue, Renji's attention was grabbed by some Ichigo-noise, pissed Ichigo-noise. "Hey, watch it, watch it, what the heck are you doin'?"
Renji looked up to see Ichigo shouting in the face of a really big burly guy. Oh boy, getting into a brawl on the subway was not on Renji's to-do-ever list. "What's your problem?" the guy said back, looking a little nervous at being called out.
"My problem is your hand on my ass! Keep it to yourself before I rip it off and shove it down your throat!" Renji grinned a little, shaking his head. Ichigo did his job for him most of the time. He usually didn't even have to get protective of him unless they were in a situation where Ichigo couldn't fight back.
"Woah, back off dude, like I'd touch some punk like you anyway. You're probably the one touching me."
"What the hell does that even mean, you jerk?!"
"Oh, I'm a jerk?" The guy grabbed Ichigo by the collar. Ichigo just growled, pulling an arm back, ready to punch the guy's lights out. Renji knew that this was the moment to interfere.
"Let him go!" Renji shouted, holding a wrench above his head. "You let him go, or I'm gonna' make you sorry!" He yanked the guy's hand off of Ichigo's shirt and pulled Ichigo behind him. "Now get lost!"
The guy probably hadn't expected psycho-muscular-boyfriend to just pop in out of nowhere, so he backed down, growled, and turned away.
"You okay?" Renji asked lowly. Ichigo scowled, crossing his arms. "Hey, can anyone make space down at the end so we don't have to be near this dirtbag?" Renji asked the entire train-car, looking around. Most people were staring, or pretending not to have noticed that display. Some middle-aged women made some room, and Ichigo helped carry their stuff over there.
"Feel better?" Renji put his toolbox under his legs — there was only room for one of them, so Ichigo stood next to the bench. "C'mon, sit right here, there's room."
"Absolutely not."
Ichigo was extra-frazzled today, which was probably the only reason Renji got away with coaxing him into sitting on his leg. Renji bounced him a couple of times to get a response out of him. Ichigo took a deep breath, "Ahhh, Yeah. I do feel better, actually." Renji tried not to smile, sideglancing at the two women sitting next to them, who were whispering and looking at them.
"I woulda' felt better if I coulda' punched his ugly mug a couple of times," Renji said airily.
"You coulda' knocked him down, mister," cheeped a little boy from the seat behind him. His mother tried to hush him and pull him back down, but the kid clung to the seat edge and strained to stick his head up. "You have big brave muscles." The mother pulled the kid down and apologized for him.
"It's alright," Renji said, grinning at the little kid with a wink. Ichigo just scowled.
Renji laughed a little, tightening his arms on Ichigo, making him sit with his back flush to his chest; he was secretly glad that it was one of those times where they could be open in public. They don't come around often. He was very passionate in letting his territory be known, but he had accepted the fact that Ichigo was a private person when it came to these things and that they don't live in a country where they can be open. One day he's gonna' get Ichigo to up and move to L.A., but until then, it's always gonna' be like this.
Ichigo just crossed his arms, face turning red, not making eye contact with anyone.
"Is it my day ta' get groped on the subway or something?" he grouched. Renji just tugged on his ear. Truth be told, Renji didn't like embarrassing Ichigo. He really didn't, even to tease him, so he never did so on purpose. He did feel a little bad, but not enough to keep him from enjoying it.
"Aw, don't be cranky, we've still got most of the day left."
Ichigo shrugged, leaning his head back on Renji's shoulder. "Yeah, I guess."
"I think you need rest more than me," Renji said quietly, running his fingers through Ichigo's hair, trying to tame the bristles down a little. Ichigo sighed. "Just close your eyes for a little while." Ichigo nodded, squirming a little to get comfortable. Their legs were all tangled up and pressed against the seat in front of them.
"Tch', if we crash, we're gonna' have four broken femurs, here."
"Be quiet, I was just startin' ta' relax." Ichigo grinned, not opening his eyes.
. . .
"You good for some heavy lifting?"
"Aw, and I was just starting to relax, too."
"Oh hush, you lazy lout."
Ikkaku followed Yumichika up the steps to his apartment level. "I'll just need some laundry and... some other things." Yumichika opened the door, stepping inside.
Ikkaku followed him hesitantly, slipping off his shoes in the entryway as he took a look around. He nearly ran into Yumichika when he stopped suddenly.
"What? What's that look on your face?" Yumichika looked around his living room slowly, eyes wide. Ikkaku let three silent seconds pass, before he nudged Yumichika's shoulder. "What?"
"Someone has been in here," Yumichika whispered. Ikkaku startled, looking around. Yumichika held a finger up to his lips, creeping across the carpet bare-foot.
"Wait, you mean you think they could still be here?"
"Maybe. Don't talk." Yumichika stood perfectly still, listening. "They'll already have heard us, so we need to look around." Ikkaku nodded, heart pounding as he followed Yumichika through his living room into his kitchenette.
Yumichika handed Ikkaku a rolling-pin solemnly and slipped a knife out of the wooden block, holding it aloft as he crept out into the hallway.
"This is our first partners in crime gig," Yumichika whispered, grinning. Ikkaku smiled after a second.
"Well wayta' think positive, I guess." Yumichika rolled his eyes, elbowing Ikkaku in the gut. "There's no way this creeper will take us seriously now though."
"He doesn't have to take me seriously if there's a knife in his throat," Yumichika shrugged, sticking his tongue out. Ikkaku bopped him lightly on the shoulder with the pin.
"You need to take yourself seriously. There really might be a creep in your house right now."
"I know, I guess nothing fazes me anymore," Yumichika sighed, holding the knife above his head as he checked behind some wicker doors in the hallway. Ikkaku peeked. "No one in here."
They snuck through the house, Yumichika telling him to follow his steps over the squeaky boards. All the crawl spaces and large cupboards and closets were checked, and no one was there.
They both took a breath. Yumichika swallowed and put a hand over his heart, rolling his eyes. "My goodness," he griped, tapping his foot on the ground as he checked his face in the knife.
Ikkaku rolled the rolling-pin on Yumichika's arm, tickling him a little. "How do you know someone was here?"
"I just do. It doesn't seem like anything's missing but, the door was unlocked… I just kno-" Yumichika's eyes went wide and he did a huge gasp. Then he turned to Ikkaku and grabbed his arms, knife clattering to the floor.
"My cat," he said in shock, face screwing up. He wailed in despair. "Oh no, where is she? We looked through the whole house! She's gone!" Yumichika put his hands to his cheeks.
"Wait, wait, calm down, you said the door was unlocked, she mighta' just gotten out by herself, right?" This day was just one train wreck after another. "Did you leave any windows open?"
"No, no..." Couldn't fate have at least spared Yumichika the loss of his cat along with everything else? "She always runs to the door when I come home and she didn't come out. Someone took her. I'll never see her again, oh my god."
"Ya' think it was Kaa?" Yumichika nodded, face in his hands.
"Oh no, you're right, it must be him." Yumichika collapsed on the sofa and didn't move.
"C'mon, get up, sweets," Ikkaku said, taking Yumichika under the armpits, hefting him up into his arms. "C'mon, it'll be okay." Hugging him, Ikkaku pet his hair. "It'll be okay."
He tries to rub Yumichika's back and calm him. "Are you sure he'd do this? Is he really so petty as to take your cat and hurt it?" Yumichika wouldn't even respond anymore.
"Oh man." Ikkaku squeezed him. "We need to go report this right now. We can look all over town — your cat's only been gone a couple of hours, right? He wouldn't have had time to come here after we just saw him, so he musta' done it after you left to come over to my place."
"Right." Yumichika slowly drew back from Ikkaku's chest, at last taking his hands away from his face. "Do you know, before his little sister died, she told me that he-" He stops then, clenching his eyes shut. "Oh, I just have to get her back. What if he hurts her?"
"Shh, babe, pull yourself together... C'mon, calm down."
Yumichika got it together. "I'm sorry, I just... She's my only family now that my sister's moved away... I just can't stop thinking about what he might do to her."
Ikkaku gasped, snapping his fingers. "Wait, if we hurry, we can go back and get that bastard, he's still in town." Yumichika blinked up at him, getting up off the couch.
"Let's run."
. . .
"Fuck, we're missing the bullet train!" Ichigo shouted, carrying groceries in his arms.
"Here, get on my back, we'll run!"
"You idiot, you can't carry me and all this shit!"
"Well fuck then, I'll go hold the door," Renji dropped his bags on the ground and sprinted across the subway station, jumping over the turnstiles and slipping through crowds, jamming his foot in the door of the train.
"OW!" Ichigo could hear from across the cavernous room. "OW, OW, FRICK, IT KEEPS OPENING AND CLOSING, HURRY UP!"
Ichigo looked around helplessly, already laden down with plastic bags. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY EVERYTHING!?"
He was met with silence, and he sagged, groaning. "Guuuhhhh, I'm on a planet full of lunatics."
. . .
"You lunatic! What did you do to her?! Give her back!" Yumichika screeched, kicking and clawing at Kaa's smirking face, only held back by Ikkaku's arms, clamped around his chest.
"Hm…" He scratched his head, feigning idiocy. "I dunno'," he cackled. Ikkaku set Yumichika down on the curb, rolled up his jacket sleeves with a calm expression, spit into his palms, and then punched Kaa in the nose.
Kaa almost fell backwards on his ass as he clutched at his face. "Whoa, you punch hard, man."
"There, now your face matches your hair, you sicko!" People on the other side of the street were staring in shock, because Kaa was laughing like he'd been told an insanely funny joke. The bruising on his face from where Yumichika had slapped him melded in with his now broken nose.
"Ha, that's a good one." Kaa let the blood run into his mouth as he looked at them, grinning as he snapped his nose back into place. Ikkaku cringed at the sound. "What's this, ya' like bald guys now, Princess Yum-Yum? What's up with this? How am I supposed to be jealous of this-"
"Careful, ya' sound kinda' worried there, Nick," Ikkaku teased, fists clenching in rage. "You fucking sicko." Kaa's eyes went wide in fury, and he grabbed the front of Ikkaku's t-shirt. It's the first time Ikkaku's seen him lose his cool.
"My name is Kaa," he hissed through gritted teeth, fist coiled back ready to punch Ikkaku in the face. "Who... Who told you...Yumichika," he said, poison in his voice as he looked to the man sitting on the curb in the dirt. Yumichika winced.
Ikkaku shoved Kaa's chest to get him out of his face. The guy's attitude changed in a split second, "Heh, you're right about me doing the fucking, though." Kaa's anger left as quick as it had come, and he was grinning again, eyes glinting threateningly. "Ain't that right, Yummy-chika?"
Yumichika glared, throwing a rock at Kaa, hitting him in the stomach. "Pfft," Kaa laughed, crossing his arms.
"You petty piece of shit," Ikkaku grumbled.
"Heh. I'm sure Ruki's around here somewhere, she did always like the fish pond in that one park," Kaa laughed. "I just opened the door and she shot out like a rocket. Ran straight to the open window at the end of the hall and went down the fire escape. S'not my fault, I didn't do nothing. I was just looking for something."
"Oh, you bastard," Ikkaku spat, "You're just tryin' ta' scare him, huh? That's it?" Yumichika kicked a wall. "You let him think you cut his cat up or suffocated it in a shoe box, and you just let it run away? Wow. That's actually kind of a let down."
Kaa grinned, sticking out his tongue, making a lewd gesture.
"You are the biggest dirtbag I've ever met." Kaa laughed. "You're a complete creep, and you stalk Yumichika even though you've probably been sleeping around like a soggy waffle. What's wrong with you, man? You can't have it both ways!"
Kaa seemed to be listening now. "It's a wonder he didn't kick your ass out years ago!" Ikkaku stared at Kaa without blinking. "You may have fooled him for a while, but I doubt you're going to fool anyone else for as long. Loser's like you always end up alone, even with a face like that."
Kaa wasn't smiling now, and was staring at him, slack-jawed. Yumichika was blinking, starry-eyed. "You're nothing but a slime ball, and one day, everyone's gonna' know, and ya' won't get away with shit anymore. There's something wrong with you, there has to be for you to have treated Yumichika like trash. You have to be insane."
Kaa opened his mouth, closed it again, blinking. Yumichika stared, not speaking. He'd never seen Kaa at a loss for words. He looked pretty stupid with drying blood all over his face and his teeth, eyes wide and mouth agape like a fish.
Ikkaku pursed his lips, glaring at the guy. "And for the record, your head looks like it's on fire." That at least got a smile out of Yumichika. "He doesn't want to see you anymore, so get the fuck out of his life already... You make me sick, and you're also a loser."
Yumichika looked at Kaa, who was starting to look kind of sad, arm twitching like he wanted to grab his hand.
"We're leaving." Ikkaku turned around and took Yumichika's hand, pulling him off the curb and walked away. "See you never, asshole." Yumichika looked back, and there was a flash of devastation on Kaa's face for a moment, like he didn't understand why he was watching Yumichika walk away from him.
"Small world," Kaa called after them, and for some reason, it really fucking creeped Ikkaku out because he could feel his eyes following them long after they'd left the immediate area.
. . .
"I can't believe you gave that much money to a stranger just to get them to hold the door," Ichigo said in disbelief as he trudged through the park with Renji, carrying way more than a human ever should.
"Hey, c'mon, what would you have done?" Renji ducked under some tree branches and sat down on a bench to rest.
Ichigo slitted his eyes, "Okay, whatever. Let's just get home."
"In a minute, my legs are killing me."
. . .
"My legs are killing me, let me down," Yumichika said to Ikkaku, who knelt down to let him off his back.
"Okay, what's your cat look like? I don't actually know, so... I don't know how much help I can be with finding her."
"She's a Himalayan. She liked the koi pond in this park... I used to live closer to this area, when I was living with Kaa. If she's not there... then, I'll have to give up," Yumichika said. "She's white with black patches, and she's really fluffy and big."
"I'm sure we'll find her, Yumichika, think positive."
. . .
"Think positive, we'll be back soon."
"Yeah... I guess," Ichigo sighed, sitting down next to Renji. Renji poked him excitedly, grinning.
"Hey Ichigo, wanna' arm-wrestle? C'mon, arm-wrestle me."
"Alright, alright, I was gonna' say yes." Ichigo looked up, just in time to see something divebomb out of the tree above them and land on Renji's head.
"ACK!"
"Holy fuck!" Ichigo screamed. "What the hell is on your head?"
"Get it off! Get it- Oh, geez." Renji pried the thing off his head, holding it in front of him, "What the- Haruki? Hey, is this Yumichika's cat? I think it is," he laughed, petting the cat's back, completely forgetting his shock and upset. "Remember how she always used to lick my hair when we lived with Yumichika?"
"Speaking of, is that Yumichika over there?" Ichigo put a hand up to his eyes, staring into the distance.
"Oh hey, what do you know."
"Is Ikkaku holding a fish carcass?"
"Haruki's breath stinks."
"Oh geez, I hope the park manager doesn't see that."
