AN: Because you were so nice about asking for it…here's another little chapter. I don't know if it came out the way that I wanted it to, but I tried!
I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!
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Carol thought they'd probably eaten the most uncomfortable meal ever…and she thought that she was mostly to blame for that. She sat across from Daryl at the restaurant, running over and over in her head the way to tell him about her life…the way to tell him about how she'd even ended up here…the way to tell him about Sophia…but none of it was coming out.
In fact, in between comments about the food, the only thing that she could do was focus on how her stomach was churning and offer him, every time she realized that her thoughts had swept her up for indeterminate amount of time, what she knew to be less than comforting smiles.
And it was obviously affecting him because he didn't look to be enjoying himself at all. She was making him uncomfortable and he was fidgeting with all the lack of control that Sophia showed when she'd been buckled into a seat for too long and was on the verge of having a fit if she didn't escape.
Daryl looked like he wanted to escape.
And that made her want to choke herself for making him so uncomfortable and it concreted what she already knew. She couldn't do this. She wasn't date material. She didn't even have the ability to have dinner with a human being without making them want to run for their life.
Daryl shifted around, putting his fork down noisily and then made a face like he was silent scolding the piece of metal for its unruly clatter against the side of his plate.
"Talkin' 'bout kids…" he said.
Carol swallowed and she tried not to look as surprised or as unnerved as she felt. They weren't talking about kids…she couldn't even remember the last thing they were actually talking about…
But she worried because Daryl, no matter how much she'd protested, had insisted on picking her up and she worried that he'd seen the car seat in the back of her car…he'd seen some proof of Sophia.
And maybe that was the real reason for his fidgeting.
It would be hard enough for a man to want to date a woman that was divorced, she thought…he'd probably wonder what she'd done. How was she so terrible that she'd driven Ed to being the man that he'd become? How was she so terrible that she'd failed at even keeping a marriage together?
But to date a divorced woman with a kid? A woman who was so terrible that her marriage had collapsed when so many people made it look like it was the easiest thing in the world to be married…a woman who was so terrible that she'd spawned a child with a man and he didn't even want the child because it was hers, or at least half hers, and he didn't even want to be around anything that reminded him of her?
That was date poison. That had failed relationship slathered all over it.
"We…we weren't talking about kids…were we?" Carol asked, trying to force a smile and some confusion to go with her sudden feeling of nausea and self-doubt.
Daryl chuckled nervously.
"Maybe we weren't…" he said. He shifted and sat up, putting his elbows on the table, then moving them…and then putting them right back. "Maybe we oughta…what'cha…what'cha think about 'em? Kids…?"
Carol felt like she was caught at the moment. She was caught more surely than she'd ever been caught by her mother as a kid. She frowned and shook her head.
"I'm sorry…I'm really sorry…I should have said something…" she offered. She took a deep breath and looked at Daryl who was now looking at her like he wasn't sure which kind of alien species she belonged to.
"So…ya don't like 'em?" Daryl asked.
Carol paused and stared at him…stared at the way his brow was furrowed in question…a question that she didn't understand. And he stared back at her with the question on his face like he didn't understand an answer that she hadn't given.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, her voice coming out softer than before.
Daryl stared at her moment longer and then chuckled, the line between his eyebrows not entirely fading.
"What the hell are you talkin' 'bout?" He asked.
Carol sat back against the back of her booth and studied him. She didn't feel caught anymore, but she didn't feel like hiding anymore either. If he was going to run…then let him go…let him run.
She sighed.
"I should have said something…" Carol said. "And I don't know what you're talking about…or if you saw the car seat…or what you saw…but I should have said something. And I know…that it's a lot. You know? I know that it's too much…so I'm not going to be mad and I'm not going to think you're a horrible person…because it's too much to ask a lot of people to handle…and I don't know if I were you, if I would want to handle it. So I'm not going to blame you for however it is that you want to feel about it…"
The line between Daryl's eyebrows was getting deeper and the more that she babbled the deeper it got and the more he slowly began to lean his body closer, almost threatening to lie down on the table, right in the middle of his plate, as though getting closer to her was going to make the words that were coming out of her mouth less confusing or easier to swallow.
"Stop!" Daryl said suddenly.
And the sudden directness of the word made Carol jump, but it also served to stop the flow of words that she hadn't been able to stop before. She closed her mouth and stared at him.
He backed up and held his hands up at her.
"Real nice an' slow like," he cooed at her. "The fuck ya ass is talkin' 'bout?"
Carol stared at him a second longer, almost feeling like she wanted to laugh at the combination of his voice and his facial expression, though she no longer pretended to even have a clue what was happening.
"I have a daughter," she said.
Daryl stared at her…there was really no reaction from him, but he'd pretty much reached, already, the full depth of confusion possible for a human being, so she didn't know where he had to go from there.
"Sophia…she's two…and I'm getting divorced, but…my husband…my ex-husband…" Carol stopped and shrugged. The words that followed…no matter how much she hated Ed…still stung. "He doesn't want her…he doesn't want anything to do with her."
Carol swallowed and felt like she was bracing herself. She wasn't sure how he might react, but she expected something of anger. She expected some kind of show about how pissed off he was that she'd withheld that information on the first date. She expected some kind of disbelief that she might suggest she'd forgotten to tell him a piece of information that was so blatant and painfully obvious and important.
But he didn't react with anger at all. He paused a moment, still wearing confusion on his face and then he sat back hard, almost slamming into the booth behind him. And he laughed.
He laughed and Carol didn't know what to do.
"Fuck…" he spat through the laughter…and that only served to renew the laughter. "Fuck!" He spat again.
He leaned up after a second, gaining control of his laughter, and he leaned on the table, like he was going to say something almost secret to Carol, and she knew that her face probably looked like his had earlier because she was confused about what in the world might be so funny.
"You got a kid?" He asked.
She nodded her head.
"Two damn years old, huh?" Daryl asked.
Carol nodded.
"Potty trained yet?" He asked.
Carol wrinkled her brow.
"She's…trying…" Carol said. "She's not…she doesn't really like it…"
Daryl nodded his head.
"Try one a' them musical toilets…gives 'em a damn 'round of applause an' a damn happy lil' tune…big time celebration shit…" Daryl said.
Carol stared at him and felt like she'd just entered, entirely and completely, the twilight zone.
Daryl shook his head, his laughter renewing slightly. He pulled one of his hands across his face.
"I…uh…been sweatin' damn bullets all night," Daryl said. "'Cause I ain't knowed…ya know? I ain't knowed how the hell ta tell ya…or what'cha might do…but…hell…I got a damn kid…his name is Russ an' he's four years old an' he's spendin' the night with my brother an' his wife so I can go on a date with ya…'cause I don't get nights off."
Now Carol felt like she'd been hit with a ton of bricks.
Daryl had a child? The man in front of her…had a child? She'd been terrified to tell him about Sophia and all this time he'd been sitting on the little secret of a…four year old.
Carol only spoke a second later when she'd started to digest everything he'd offered in the hurried words.
"His mother?" She asked.
Daryl shook his head.
"He ain't got one…ain't never really had one," Daryl said.
Carol felt her stomach sink.
"She passed away?" Carol asked.
Daryl shook his head, but he chuckled lightly too.
"She's dead ta me…dead ta him…but I reckon she's still kickin' it some damn where…" Daryl said.
Then silence fell over them.
It was hard for Carol to know what to say. She wasn't mad…she didn't really know what she was…but she wasn't mad.
Maybe, if anything, she felt bad for him. He was a single father with a four year old son. He was the father of a four year old whose mother hadn't wanted him.
The thought alone made Carol's chest ache and she didn't even know the boy…she didn't even know Daryl that well.
And maybe he didn't know what to say either. What was there to say? She was living proof that she was a woman who was a failure at relationships and, if that weren't enough, she had a two year old daughter.
Daryl was the one who finally spoke, though.
"So…reckon that's it, huh?" Daryl asked.
Carol looked at him.
"That's it?" She asked.
Daryl chuckled.
"S'alright…Russ's too damn much for ya…an' that's OK. Hell…I weren't figurin'…not really…on anybody bein' too damn OK with it. It's a lot…kid's four years old," Daryl said.
Carol felt something pull in her chest and scratch at her throat just seeing the facial expression that crossed his face quickly, the one that he tried to cover with something of a smirk that she might have believed if she'd missed the flash of something else before.
She swallowed.
"You think that…I'm bothered by the fact that you have a child?" Carol asked.
"Ain't'cha?" Daryl asked.
Carol leaned up a little bit.
"Did…you miss the part where I said I had a two year old?" Carol asked. She laughed, ironically really, at her own question and Daryl mirrored the somewhat awkward laugh.
"Nah…ain't missed it at all…" he said.
And then they both stared at one another again.
Carol didn't know what to say. It was a lot of information…it was a lot to take in…and it was like, for some reason, she was seeing the man across the table from her in a totally different light than she'd seen him when he'd picked her up earlier.
But she couldn't say, exactly, that she didn't like what she saw.
"I don't mind…that you have a child," Carol said. "But I thought that you might…" She stopped and shrugged again, shaking her head. "I thought that, honestly, you were going to get up and run…maybe go to the bathroom and never come back…as soon as I told you about Sophia…"
Daryl chuckled.
"Guess we mighta misjudged each other a little…" Daryl said.
Carol nodded her head, still not sure what she was feeling or what was even happening.
"We might have…" she said. "So you're not going to bathroom?"
Daryl chuckled.
"Not right now," he said. "You gonna…throw somethin' at me? Run out the restaurant?"
Carol smiled and shook her head.
"I don't think so…" she said.
Daryl smiled and nodded his head, moving around. She watched him as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and sat there going through it.
"Well hell…" he muttered. "I know ya got a fuckin' picture or two…so let's see 'em…"
Carol laughed softly and reached for her purse, deciding that…for a second date…the night couldn't possibly get any more bizarre.
