AN: Stop f,aming, OK? Haagrid is a pedo to a lot of people in American schools r lick that. I wanted to a dress the issue. How do you know Snap isn't Christian plus Haagrid isn't really in love with Ebony, that was Cedric, OK? And Lilee is just cazy, yo, and The Carnivorous Muffin's proooblum.

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In which it is revealed that Draco is not dead, just kidnapped, Snape and Homeless Magoo are both inconceivably still alive, if slated to fly over the cuckoo's nest, and Vampire has a vision.

Lily and Wizard Lenin sat together in the darkened Default common room, both far older than they should be, Lenin Rabbitson's face resembling Wizard Lenin's more closely in the dark than the twelve-year-old version ever had.

In one of the chairs beside them, the older Luna (who still had an elfin almost childlike cast to her features) was curled up against the aged Rabbit (who had retained and refined his symmetry into something almost lethally beautiful and more inhuman for it), sleeping as Rabbit stared off silently into the patterns of light and shadow that the fire made as it danced.

Harry… He lay sleeping beneath dozens of covers in a bed that Lily assumed must belong to him (since it hadn't been there before all of this), the eyeliner back on his face once again, the scar on his forehead hidden from sight, and the fire somehow making his face seem softer than it truly was.

As for the rest of them, well, Lily could care less where they were. (Although Zabini and Greengrass really were taking their sweet time getting back from avoiding Ebony and the gang, Lily almost envied them.)

But Lily found herself still staring at Lenin Rabbitson, at his white curling hair, at the shadows of his cheekbones, and the pale burning eyes that stared straight back at her.

"It's strange, Lily, but I don't remember being twelve," Wizard Lenin said before amending, "Not the first time, that's all perfectly clear, but as Lenin Rabbitson the memories are…"

Lily cut in as he trailed off, "You believe me though,"

A grim frown and that piercing gaze, "Yes, Lily, I believe you."

Lily just nodded back, relief pooling and loosening in her stomach, even though a strange overwhelming shadow still loomed over her.

"What happened, when you left?"

Lily paused, allowing the memories to play themselves repeatedly, Death in the rain, goffisim washing away from his face and leaving something so achingly and tenderly familiar behind, her blood blooming like tiger lilies in the water, the great overwhelming dark, and then the dungeon bathroom, the murder, and reality tripping over itself and stuttering, bringing people here and there and linearity entirely lost.

"I am trapped," Lily said the realization sinking slowly, creeping in now that she could look back and think what had truly happened, what it all meant, "Harry… He's Death, I don't know how, but he is, or rather was… And reality is falling apart. I don't know how much longer it has before nothing remains but a cheap imitation."

Wizard Lenin, for the first time, didn't contradict her.

He didn't say anything for far too long.

Then, somehow calmly, with a clear headedness that was completely uncalled for in this kind of a situation, he said quietly, "I think it would be best, Lily, if you did not attempt to… leave again. It seems to move faster when you're gone."

Lily started, completing the thought he wasn't saying for him, "…You don't think…"

"That it will happen to all of us?" Wizard Lenin asked, "I hope not, but I have never seen anything like this before, and you are right when you said the signs are beginning to become overwhelming. I've always believed in a rational world, even a world with magic but I am also not a fool, and I won't deny a situation that clearly is undeniable. Still, I doubt it will happen to you though, whatever this is, and if it comes to it, then I will give up my mortal body and rejoin your spirit rather than be reduced to a puppet."

In other words, he would rather die than become like Death or Draco. He, like Draco, would take the final exit before oblivion.

(But it couldn't possibly come to that, she wouldn't let it.)

And Lily asked then, "How do we stop this?"

Wizard Lenin offered her a bleak and humorless smile, "I'm afraid, Lily, that this is out of my jurisdiction. You see, I only had to deal with civil wars, the end of the world is a little beyond my abilities."

"If someone is behind this, then I swear, I will stop them," Lily insisted, feeling a burning and almost bitter determination beginning to spread through, "This world may already be infected with an illusion, but at least it's one I can tolerate, this new one is just insulting to all of us."

If they could warp reality to their pleasing, if they could steal Lily's own powers from her, then Lily herself could warp it back into what it was or at least something resembling what it used to be rather than this farce.

Rabbit turned his head, dark eyes meeting hers, and asked in a voice that was still androgynous and clear despite his new age, "How does one illusion differ from another, Lily, when neither of them were real to begin with?"

The door slammed open, Luna startled awake and clutched tighter at Rabbit's robes (who still held her loosely and with a hint of that polite, empty, smile on his face), from his bed Harry blinked into awareness, staring at the door with burning green eyes that he just as soon covered with crimson contact lenses, and they all watched as Ebony marched in.

She gave each of them a tormented look, her eyes turning from Luna, to Rabbit, to Lenin Rabbitson, to Lily, and then even to Harry. In her hand, she was clutching the knife that Lily had earlier conjured to kill Snape and the stranger he'd brought with him, a man by the name of Lupin according to Wizard Lenin. (Lupin who had been best friends with her father, who she'd never even seen or bothered to hear about until now… She wondered what he would have been like before all of this, now she supposed it was too late.)

Ebony's eyes fell on the knife, and she said softly, "Draco gave me this in case anything happened to him."

She offered them a weak smile, her hand shaking as she brought the knife to one of her pale wrists, "He told me to use it valiantly against an enemy. But I knew we must both be together."

With wide eyes Lily realized what she was about to do, Luna was scrambling off Rabbit and moving towards her, wand extended and shouting the words to knock the knife out of her hand before she could cut too deep (drops of blood already welling at the surface of her skin), but then Harry threw his head back and screamed, "No!"

He was clutching his head, throwing himself backwards and contorting himself into a bridge, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he screamed even as he tore at his own hair, "OMFG, noo, my scar hurts!"

The knife clattered to the floor and Luna vanished it with a flick of her wand and a great sigh of relief even as they all watched as Ebony moved towards Harry.

And once again there was that jarring sensation, of something being skipped over, and Harry was suddenly not screaming or contorted, but sitting up covered in sweat, staring exhaustedly at Ebony with those false red eyes, a lightning bolt on his forehead where the pentagram had earlier been.

(Death's scar… Her own scar… Death, perhaps, bleeding through Harry Vampire Potter.)

Again, there was a sense of non-linearity, of essential pieces missing, as Ebony asked a question that had never been prompted, "How did you know?"

Harry's hands shook as he massaged his temples and said weakly, "I saw it, and my scar turned back into the lightning bolt."

Although what Harry saw, what this cheap paper version of Death (who had kept so many and so few of his original characteristics), was left to the imagination. Lily found herself standing, walking closer to the pair of them, searching for something in either of them, some hint besides a scar on a forehead that he was not truly gone (that she would not have to scream in overwhelming grief and rage when the emotional train hit her).

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" Ebony shouted, pale fingers tracing the lightning bolt on his forehead.

He winced at the sound of her voice and explained, still exhausted and rubbing at his forehead, "I do, but, but, Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation."

He closed his eyes, breathed in, and continued, "Anyway, my scar hurt and I turned it back into the lightning bolt, save me, then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco."

Lily blinked, hesitated, the words were directed at Ebony, entirely at Ebony but…

Save me.

There was a lightning bolt on his head, he said he changed it back, save me, he changed it back from a pentagram and... Save me.

Harry continued, grabbed at Ebony's hand, and insisted fearfully with wild eyes, "Volvemort has Draco bondage!"

Wizard Lenin literally fell out of the chair he had been sitting in. On the floor, he looked up at Harry, shivering there in his bed and clutching at Ebony, and said, "You must be fucking with me."

Harry blinked, his eyebrows lowered, and for a moment she could so easily picture Death instead, wearing his familiar foreign dark clothing, rather than the lack of clothes that Harry seemed to prefer to sleep with, "Didn't you hear what I said? Draco is…"

"Harry Potter, if you value your life and your sanity, you will not finish that sentence." Wizard Lenin picked himself up took in a deep breath through gritted teeth and forced himself to let it out, "And for the sake of my own sanity I'm going to assume you mean that Voldemort has kidnapped Draco Malfoy's corpse. In which case… Why do any of us care?"

Harry was practically spitting as he tore off the covers and walked over to Wizard Lenin in nothing but his boxers, and insisted, "Draco's not dead, he's bondage!"

For a moment Wizard Lenin said nothing, dully eyeing Death's adolescent almost naked form, and then said, "… You know, I don't wonder if Draco Malfoy wouldn't prefer to be dead rather than what you're suggesting."

Before Wizard Lenin and Harry cold come to blows, Ebony's eyes rolled back and she fell onto the floor into a faint, her wrist bleeding quite profusely. Lily nudged her with a foot, only for Ebony to twitch slightly, "It seems that she cut herself deeper than any of us thought… We should probably take her to the hospital wing before she dies."

Wizard Lenin stared down at her in aggravation, "But how will she ever learn the importance of not slitting one's wrists if she never faces the consequences?"

"… Lenin, I'm pretty sure the consequences are death."

Wizard Lenin blinked almost innocently, and asked, "Your point being?"

(He really was terrible at pretending to be a sympathetic normal human being.)

Lily and Luna picked up Ebony in tandem, each supporting her beneath a different arm, and with Wizard Lenin, Rabbit, and Harry they all made a grand march from the Default common room in the middle of the night to the hospital wing.

And of all of them, Wizard Lenin was probably the most put out by all of this.

"You know, I was taking this all quite seriously up until you said that Voldemort, and I quote, has Draco bondage."

"It's a very serious ishoo," Harry spat back at him, "He could die!"

"He did die!" Wizard Lenin retorted with equal venom if not five times the irritation, "If you'll be so good to remember he slit his own bloody wrists just like Enoby here has at least five times! It seems like all the rage these days and is really detracting from my capacity to care. One of these days I'm not even going to blink when someone mentions slitting their wrists!"

"You ludicrous fool, I said he's bondage, not dead!"

"And I hope you realize that bondage is not a verb."

"Save me," Lily repeated softly, both stopped bickering to blink at her as Lily stared back over their shoulder as they descended the stairs, "When you were talking to Ebony, you said, 'save me."

He blinked, offered her an awkward smile, "That was the vision, we need to save Draco…"

No, that hadn't been it. It had slipped in, somewhere amongst the slurred words that had burned so clearly for two syllables, out of place and context, "Save me."

(There was a growing fear inside her, a bottomless pit of terror, that she had no idea how to do that, or that it was already somehow too late.)

They arrived at the hospital wing, Lily and Luna discarding Ebony onto a bed, who after having a blood replenishing potion shoved in her face, was now starting to come to. Next to her, in three other beds, were none other than Snape, Hagrid, and Lupin. Snape and Lupin now with healing gunshot wounds after having been shot dozens of times by Ebony and having been cursed by Harry.

None of the three men seemed to be conscious.

"It's Snap, Haagrid, and Loopin!" Ebony exclaimed as she looked at Madam Pomfrey for explanation.

Madam Pomfrey nodded and explained, "They're going to Saint Mungo's after they recover because they were pedophiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot girls."

Which… Lily wasn't sure how she felt about that.

She supposed it was enough that, even though the universe was falling to pieces, at least she'd never have to go to Potions again.

Ebony leered at the three of them and promptly flipped her middle finger up at all their unconscious forms.

Hagrid though, blinked into awareness, and spying all of them, he slowly shuffled his way over with his great lumbering body. And in his hands a bouquet of pink roses appeared which he promptly offered to Ebony…

Because of course, Lily had to go and forget that he'd confessed his love for Ebony during the whole debacle earlier.

Lily felt herself pale and become a bit queasy. Judging by Luna and Wizard Lenin's expressions, they weren't faring much better either.

"Enoby, I need to tell you something," Hagrid said somberly as he held out the flowers to her, which if Lily remembered was the exact same thing he'd said last time.

"This seems regrettably familiar," Wizard Lenin commented under his breath as the scene unfolded.

Ebony knocked the flowers back into Hagrid's chest with reckless abandon.

"Fuck off!" Ebony responded, "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway! And I don't like fucked up preps like you!"

"No," Hagrid said in dismay as he pushed the flowers back to her, "These are not roses!"

"Ceci n'est pas une pipe?" Lily questioned, which was a bit deep for Hagrid, particularly this altered goff version of Hagrid, but an answer she could at least respect.

"What, are they goffs too, you proser pep?" Ebony asked spitefully.

"I saved your life!" Hagrid cried pointing at her, looking genuinely dismayed by Ebony's rejection of his love. Which, normally Lily really didn't approve of Ebony's decisions, but this time Lily was fully behind her cut throat rejection of Hagrid.

"No, you didn't," Ebony swiftly replied, "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p-video made from your shower scene and being vood by Snape and Lupin, who mastibated!"

Luna asked, softly, distressed in Lily's ear, "Captain, who or what is a Paris Hilton? I'm very confused. Also… what's mastibating?"

Before Lily could answer that they were all confused Ebony continued, "Whatever!"

But Hagrid pointed a wand (a wand that he very much should not have since Lily was pretty sure his had been snapped fifty years ago), at the pink roses, and said with an anticipatory glint of madness in his eye, "These aren't roses!"

He then muttered under his breath, "Well, if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say."

"That's not how you spell an MCR song!" Ebony interjected, somehow looking even more insulted than she had by the idea of being a star in her own porno for Snape and Lupin's viewing pleasure. It appeared that both MCR and GC, whatever they happened to be, should be taken with the upmost seriousness.

(Luna asked, once again in Lily's ear, "Uh, captain, what's an MCR? Is it also a sub species of nargle?")

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal chords," Hagrid replied.

Which prompted Wizard Lenin to put two and two together along with Lily, "Oh no,"

But oh yes, because apparently, Hagrid was going to break out into song once again. Which seemed to be what everyone insisted on doing lately. She'd heard Draco singing, Ebony singing, and Hagrid was about to sing for a second time even. Only, instead of song it was nonsensical Latin chanting. Which… Well, given that Lily went to Hogwarts, wasn't actually that out of the ordinary.

Frankly, it didn't sound all that different from all the other ridiculous Latin chanting Lily heard all the time.

(Although judging by Wizard Lenin's face this Latin chanting was subpar to the Latin chanting he himself was used to.)

The roses abruptly transformed into a large black ball of fire, floating in front of all their faces, Lily, Wizard Lenin, and Luna all leaning backwards away from it. As it looked remarkably diseased or at the very least highly unpleasant to touch.

"Okay, now I believe you," Ebony said to Hagrid (because somehow the black ball of fire equated trustworthiness in Ebony's eyes when it should be doing the opposite), "WTF is Draco?"

Dead, was Lily's answer, but she doubted Ebony would appreciate that so she held her tongue.

Hagrid rolled his eyes in aggravation towards the flames.

Ebony peered inside.

"… Ellie, somehow, this is ten times as surreal as anything that has ever happened to me in all the years I've known you, and I'm not sure how that's possible." Wizard Lenin confessed.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Lily said before hesitating and asking, "Are we actually supposed to be able to tell if anything is in the death fire ball?"

"Something tells me, that no matter how I respond, I'll still be surprised by the answer." Wizard Lenin muttered before sighing, "We should have left her in the room."

"That's hardly fair, comrade Lenin!" Luna reprimanded with a warning glare towards Wizard Lenin, "She's as much a victim as the rest of us are, you might be in her high heeled, cramped, shoes soon enough!"

"Yes, but doesn't she seem… Different from the others?" Wizard Lenin asked, his eyes narrowed as Ebony continued to lean in, searching for something.

"What do you mean?" Lily said, "She has the same accent, wears the same clothes, the same makeup, I hardly see any noticeable difference."

"No, but… events seem to revolve around her. Whenever she appears or walks into a room, everything stops and gravitates towards her, no matter what was happening before, and no matter how absurd. More, everyone seems interested in her, even someone like Hagrid or Snape who should have absolutely nothing to do with her."

As if to prove this very point, Dumbledore himself walked up from behind, entering the hospital wing and saying in a voice that he probably imagined sounded quite sage, "You see, Enoby, to see what is in the flames you must first find yourself first, k?"

"I have found myself, okay, you mean old man!" Hagrid snapped, turning his head to shout at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore gaped, and they all watched in various shades of shock and confusion as Hagrid stomped back to the bed he'd come from, shouting, "You are a liar, prof Dumbledurr!"

He then lay back down, closed his eyes, and promptly fell asleep. And it seemed whatever was holding this ridiculous scenario together dissipated entirely, leaving the four of them standing there with Dumbledore and Ebony, staring at a giant black ball of fire, waiting for something to happen.

And still waiting.

"Well, that was fun, and not at all enlightening." Lily said, and then glancing at her Default companions, "I vote we head back."

"I second that vote, captain," Luna said.

And it seemed that none of the others were opposed either as they all turned on their heel and returned from whence they came leaving Lily to offer a quick and lackluster goodbye to Ebony, "Well, goodbye Ebony, enjoy suicide watch… And I guess we'll see you later."

Of course, it would end all too soon when Ebony would return the next morning in Transfiguration, with her incredibly short dress with lace and ragged ends, the top of which appeared to be a corset, black fishnets, black high heeled boots featuring some man's face on them, blood red lipstick, black thick eyeliner, and her worst hair style to date (featuring her hair left dangling all over the place like she'd just climbed out of a well).

"You look kawaii, girl," Hermione, or rather B'loody Mary, said (in a strangely sorrowful tone) to Ebony when Ebony sat down next to her. Which, Lily hated to say it, but at least Hermione looked marginally better than Ebony right now, sure she was still slathered in foundation and eyeliner, but at least she didn't look like she belonged in her own B-rated horror film.

"Fangs, you do too." Ebony replied, in that same sad tone that Hermione had used.

Perhaps more noticeable than the rather banal conversation those two were having was the fact that Harry had decided to participate in more active cannibalism during class, and currently had his teeth in the jugular of some poor Hufflepuff, and was sucking the blood out of his neck even while the boy screamed.

Which was what Lily had been mostly preoccupied with before Ebony had bothered showing her face.

"Uh, Harry, do you have to eat the other children?" Lily asked, no, pleaded, but Harry wasn't even looking at her, he didn't seem to be looking at anything. There was instead a horrifying dull blankness to his eyes that Lily didn't think was possible in Death's gaze.

She was looking at his crude and bestial afterimage.

(Save me)

"Can't you wait until… Not class?" Lily asked, "I'm sure we can pick you up someone that's not a student… Maybe Snape? You want to eat Snape instead?"

"I say we let him devour our classmates," Wizard Lenin responded blandly, "Who knows? He might be saving them from this pitiful existence."

"That's not a good reason to eat people!" Lily snapped back.

But Lenin Rabbitson only offered her a far too casual and indifferent shrug, the shock of Harry draining the Hufflepuff of blood having worn off after the first few minutes (in which McGonagall surprisingly didn't intervene) "I didn't say it was a good reason to eat people, just if he's going to do it anyway, then perhaps it's best to look at the brighter side of the outcomes. After all, I am an optimist."

"I'm pretty sure that's not optimism," Lily responded back just as blandly.

Thankfully, Lily was saved from trying again as Harry stopped on his own when he caught sight of Ebony, and dropped the Hufflepuff (who now to be slipping into shock and began experience spasms as he lay there on the floor). Harry then said to Ebony, in a voice filled with hopelessness and despair, "Hi."

"Hi," Ebony responded back, her eyes intent on his, and for a moment they just stared at each other intently, a little too intently really, as if an entire conversation was passing between them without regard to whoever might be watching, completely ignoring Lily and Lenin sitting in the table between them.

Then Ebony and Harry both leapt towards each other, crashing between Lily and Lenin and landing on their table, scattering their papers and textbooks everywhere. Cupping Ebony's cheeks, Harry began pressing his lips to hers ferociously. Hands began to drift, his reached below her robes and under her shirt, she gripped the back of his neck and pulled him closer against her, their hips locking together against the edge of Lily's table.

"Holy shit!" Lily said, throwing herself away from them, wondering how far Ebony and Harry dared to go in a classroom setting.

"Stop it now, you horny simpletons!" McGonagall cried in dismay, still not paying any attention at all to the poor Hufflepuff who really did look like he was on the verge of death. Not that Harry or Ebony seemed to care at all what McGonagall thought.

Far more effective was Wizard Lenin, who merely raised Lily's wand and flung Ebony to one side of the room and Harry to the other, "Now, Harry, why couldn't you have been sensible and contented yourself to cannibalism rather than sex on my desk? I'll have you know I use this desk, and I like knowing where it's been."

Both then fell down from the wall, blinking and flushing, then Ebony stormed back over, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and as soon as she reached Harry she slapped him across the face, "Vampire, you fucker, stop trying to screw me! You know I love Draco!"

But then, then Harry's head fell back again, and it was… It was like she was watching the same thing twice, the motions were the same, even the words (as if the first time it hadn't even happened), "OMFG, noo, my scar hurts!"

And then, just as before, Ebony shouted, completely unconcerned by the prospect of just having cheated on Draco with Harry, "No, I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!"

Harry, once again with exhaustion, sweat dripping down his brow and a worn look in his dull red eyes repeated, "I do, but, Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation."

He coughed into his arm, took a breath, and repeated, "Anyway, my scar hurt, and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco."

Harry took Ebony's arm, stared fearfully into her eyes, and Lily repeated the words with him (her own voice far calmer, more detached and uncertain, while his radiated terror beyond understanding), "Volvemort has him bondage!"

END OF CHAPTER

(Wizard Lenin blinked for a moment, blanched, then looked at Lily, and asked, "Is one supposed to expect this much déjà vu when it comes to the end of the world or should I start being concerned?"

Unfortunately, all Lily had to say was, "I think I'm concerned that your other half likes bondage with Draco Malfoy.")

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AN: Special fangs to Raven, my goffic blood sister, wtf ur supposed to writ this1111 hey raven do you know where my sweater i


Author's Note: And I just realized that perhaps I should warn reviewers, particularly those who are not familiar with the original My Immortal, consider linearity a thing of the past. Things are going to get very bizarre, and you know when I say it that I mean it. At any rate, Lily's world is falling apart, isn't that fun? Also fun is all the little moments I forgot about before I went back to research for this fic, like Harry eating that Hufflepuff in class, and no one even caring. My bet is that it was Sally Anne.

Thanks to readers and reviewers, you all are great, reviews are much appreciated.