For a lovely ten reviews, I give you a nearly 2,000-word chapter, full of feelings and things like such, in less than two days. I love you guys so much, thank you! This is my most successful story other than Island of the Past (review-wise, at least). I am so grateful to all of you, so here's a virtual hug! If you don't like hugs, a handshake. If no handshake, a friendly wave. If no wave, a smile. I don''t care, you're all so great. :D However, I would love to see some criticism or advice, if you have any. Give it your best shot!

So, I still don't own Kung Fu Panda. Read and enjoy!


"Would you like the gown in silk or the satin, m'lady?"

"Silk, and make it red,"

Po flashed a wide, white grin. "As you please."

Tigress smiled back briefly, her reading spectacles sliding down her freckled nose as she focused on the list of preparations and called out to Mantis, who was scurrying across the Arena to assign projects to such-and-such. Viper passed by with a mountain of scrolls and invitations packed between her nimble arms. Crane followed with his loping gait, eyes bright; wedding ceremonies were his sideline passion, so there was no way he would miss preparing this over-the-top display. He kept checking everything and running in his own little whirlwinds so that he was sure to fall down from dizziness at any given moment.

Villagers set up decorations, eagerly watching the grand scene, while Mr. Ping and a few wing-picked assistants were in charge of the food. There was rumor of cake. Po was ecstatic about that, of course.

The smell of confections, fireworks, and excitement mingled in the air. Thankfully, the gods had graced this morning with a skipping wind and pink-blue skies, and the sun played tag shyly with the clouds.

Tigress paused her work to press a kiss on Po's ear with practiced clumsiness. Po grinned amiably before hurrying away. It was a little gesture to keep their audience baited. So far, it seemed as though Zhau-Fu was angrily caught in their rat trap, and no matter how hard he tried to prove them of acting-even going so far as bribing Mantis-it all came to disappointment.

He was prowling about the perimeter of the Arena, rubbing his hands together like they desperately needed moisturizer and shrilling out orders so loud, his voice echoed. Yet all the way, his eyes riddled holes in the back of the almost-couple.

Grandmaster Shifu watched him without his usual scowl, but narrow-eyed concern. He'd kept his promise to Po, scrutinizing the government official's every move in a sheen of doubt. One stumble, and Shifu would not hesitate to interfere, whether physically or otherwise. The short warrior kept his position on the top of the stairs with firm posture and a growl ready at any moment. Right now, however, he watched over Tigress curiously.

In fact, most of the Jade Palace masters were questioning their comrade. A few nights back, she and Po had suddenly announced they were to be married while Zhau-Fu was still there. Everyone had balked. Monkey sputtered nonsense. Shifu's temple had started to throb. Confusion ran supreme.

Tigress had thought their expressions secretly hilarious. Po had too, just not as secretly. The soon to-be 'bride', currently checking off her to-do list idly, reminisced back when she and Po had stayed up until the late of night compromising.


Po said, "Actually, Tigress, I think we should go through with a wedding."

Tigress stiffened, then blinked slowly. "What?"

"Think about it!" Po reasoned eagerly, "We get sort of 'married' while Zhau-Fu's here, convince the village and him, he's gone, we get divorced, and ta-da! Everyone's happy, and we get lots of food as a bonus."

He watched for Tigress's face to brighten, but instead she sighed. "Look, Po, I can see how this could have potential. But if the one government official who's overseeing our marriage is Zhau-Fu, he'll make sure any kind of divorce would be illegal."

"Then...we get a different official, find loopholes, get divorced!"

Tigress didn't know whether to laugh or grumble about his childlike naivete. "Po. Listen. Do you know a divorce would show on our record? Zhau-Fu would find out, through gossip or legal documents, or some form of news, and come back with a new suitor for me. Besides, getting divorced is nigh impossible. Haven't you heard? The only way to legally be separated is if one of us dies, there is 'partner incompatibility', which would be hypocritical and eventually uncovered by Zhau-Fu, or I commit a crime, in which case I would be sent to jail."

Po looked down at his hands. His hopes were smoldering ashes after being gently reprimanded by Tigress, but that didn't mean he was going to give up yet.

"Then we don't get divorced. That would seem pretty shady to the villagers, anyway, right? So we find out...or! We make a way so that when we get married, it's not actual marriage. It will just be a ceremony, with no legal nooses involved. We'll sign our names wrong, switch up some documents, tell the person officiating us to say or do something wrong, whatever. So then, technically, we won't be married, we stay friends and go kick butt together towards the setting sun happily ever after."

Tigress huffed, mildly annoyed, but mostly baffled by his stubbornness. Sure, this guy was making some dents in her resolve and some good points, but there was no way it could work.

Right?

"I know that look," Po smirked, "It means I'm persuading you, huh?" He poked her side with his elbow, jousting. She grit her teeth half-heartedly.

"I'm trying to reason this out."

"Don't overthink it, Ti! It really is simple!" Po laughed in quiet glee. Tigress hid her sudden wave of light headed happiness triggered by his smile, which hadn't happened until after the battle tactic. She needed to pull her shaken pieces back together.

Where was she? Ah. Marriage loopholes, divorce, yadda yadda yadda. His explanation, though it made her cringe in it's childlike flawlessness, and it stung her pride just a bit to admit, was practical. If she managed to grasp at the straws of his adamant faith, it could...possibly...just barely...work.

"Nothing is ever black and white, or in that case, simple, Po." Tigress stated, exhaling loudly. She closed her eyes, scowled, then locked her amber-crimson eyes on his. They reflected the dumbstruck hope painting his face. "At least, not for me. But you're right. I can see how this could work."

"Aww, yeah!" Po did a little jig on the bed, pumping his fist in the air. "We'll totally figure this out. So, how do you want to fake marriage? False signatures? Someone objects at the wedding, like a soothsayer? She can claim that our 'births are not aligned', or-mmpf!"

Tigress smothered his rush of overeager words with her hand over his mouth, and he whined in protest. She pushed him down on his pillow and watched him squirm a bit before snickering gruffly.

She patted his hair. "Good night, Dragon Warrior. We'll talk in the morning."

Po sighed exaggeratedly. "Ooh, okay."

Tigress yawned, and Po followed suit, incidentally. "Guess we need it. Get some rest, Ti."

She picked up the tea tray and stalked outside. Her outline was faintly purple, her caramel skin shadowed in silver and her eyes fiery. Milky starlight highlighted the orange of her hair; she looked like one of those mythical deities Po had learned about in school. Tien-Mu, goddess of lightning, or something. He couldn't look away.

Tigress smiled one of her ghosting, grim smiles."I'll try, but I can't promise anything."


Five days later, after nothing but business nonstop, the wedding was nearly complete. Po and Tigress had tried to amplify their quota of public affection, and to their mellowed awe, the people bought it like Mr. Ping's hot noodle soup on a rainy day.

Fond gestures came to them smoothly now. Most of the time, their hands pawed at each other for comfort, their shoulders brushed against each other in almost mechanical unison, and they tried to remember to grin whenever they looked at each other.

Of course, they weren't without their fights and flaws. That was a normal thing between them in any kind of relationship; with Po's stubborn, carefree boyishness, and Tigress's cool indifference that could be, if you were persuasive enough (or had a death wish), provoked into bursts of violent anger, the two were like a combination of fire and ice about to spontaneously combust. They argued anywhere, and everywhere, at times oblivious to their surroundings, and other times they concealed their irritation with fake, corroding smiles until they got to their house. Then all their pent-up Hell broke lose.

But the beautiful, purgatory-like thing about their relationship was that it always healed, and through it, they learned; bruises nursed, sulking frowns soothed. Tigress could hold one heck of a grudge, but Po could forgive anyone, anytime. Po talked to much for his own good, but Tigress could bear it with a patience gifted from above. They had their wisdoms and strengths, their weaknesses and face-palm-worthy habits. And hence, throughout the week, they adapted to each other. Their thoughts aligned in certain ways; they learned to think the way the other was thinking. To their slightly distraught surprise, they taught the other; they complemented and fulfilled the false spouse to their full potential.

Tigress learned that Po jumped on beds when no one was looking. Po learned that Tigress could snore, and really loudly at that. They both had nightmares. This usually ended with soft-faced, downy-haired talks and red eyes until early the morning, or Tigress would throw a pillow at her 'husband', especially if it was about the radish agenda pursuing him again.

In public, everything intensified. In over less than a week, all the villagers were convinced, and the 'married couple' were sure they'd have Zhau-Fu on their hook soon. At one point, Po swooped Tigress up on his shoulders and she stayed up there for a good hour, her head resting on her elbows, lopsidedly folded on his black-haired head. She pointed at him for which way to go, and like the good fake husband he was, he obeyed. Sometimes too quickly for her mute opinion, but, she couldn't have everything.

They 'snuck' in a lot of kisses too. Not quite as strangely thrilling as the first battle tactic, but they left Po blushing and wonderstruck and Tigress resentfully giddy, with energy she didn't need. They'd gotten better at that mode of affection, too. Pecks on the cheek were 'awwe'd' over by the citizens of the valley, little forehead caresses 'ooh'd' about. Lip-related battle tactics strayed far and in-between, but they were always almost painfully obvious. Sometimes Tigress's were too fierce, sometimes Po's too deep, to either of their liking. It wasn't intentional. They just got carried away, like any sensible human in their predicament would of. They were accustomed to the other's taste, the way of holding the other, the warmth of the other's face and hands and chest. Po was gentle, Tigress unpredictably sensitive or passionate. And their audience's eyes stayed glued to them the entire time, much to the soon-to-be-officially-but-not-really-married couple's hidden mortification.

What wowed the villagers the most, however, where the 'I love you's' exchanged by the pair. Mostly from Po though not entirely, they proclaimed it just loud enough to be heard, or called it out sheepishly from far away. The problem with this was that it was too real. Po physically ached when he intoned those three venomous words, because he said them with all the truth he could muster from his anxious soul. Tigress smiled shakily and whispered it loudly, with a fierceness that shocked her and left her with a wondering question in her head and trembling hands she couldn't quiet.

Unaware to each other, contradictions and doubts snapping in the Masters' minds. Both were excruciatingly confused with a whirlwind of emotions that gusted in and knocked over their resolve, their reasoning, the light they saw each other in.

Because of this, everything had changed.


Right, so you'll see some more of Ti and Po angsting over their bewildered emotions in the next chapter, along with a certain type of tree and some feel-good hugs. You've been warned.

Please leave a review! Remember, 75th gets a one-shot of their choice! I might do something for 100th, if this ever gets to that many. But just to let you know, this story's only got a few chapters left, four or so tops. Tell me how you feel about it so far, and whether you think Gandalf or Darth Vader would win in a fight. :)

-DOTS