A/N: Wow so it's been awhile since I updated this! Nearly a month! This song was actually one of the ones that made me want to even start this novel and it plays a huge roll in the plot so I wanted to take my time and write it well. It is entirely in Shizuo's POV because… well you'll see why. I hope you enjoy this chapter because it is one of my favorites so far…

Shizuo's POV
I can see where you are
I can tell you're enjoying it so far

A sudden movement against my chest woke me up. I looked down to see the flea in my arms. Wait hadn't we just had a fight? Suddenly all of the memories of last night's argument flooded my mind. I had made the decision to stop seeing him. As I looked down at the sleeping informant I saw that he had that stupid fake smirk plastered across his face like he always does. Wow so even in this guy's sleep he can't be genuine? Izaya had dragged me along with the hope that he loved me only to poke fun and push me away last night. And now he's lying here smirking? The little bastard knew what he was doing and enjoyed it! God I hate this man!

I would love to escape, but now I'm bound

So why am I still in his bed? I know Izaya is a jerk that just uses people's feelings to get what he wants from them so why don't I leave him alone? He's already hurt me so why am I still here?

By the of burn of your eyes

Because I love him… I love him so hopelessly much I can't stand it

Looking on as I'm starting to realize

I'm a pawn in your game and this is checkmate

Izaya has me right where he wants me. Although he basically treats me like shit (the cut on my chest still hurts) I wouldn't hesitate to die for him…

As the roses lift their heads to catch a glimpse of my demise
You'll be throwing lies around like ocean waves throw down the tides

That thought startled me. I'd be willing to give my life for Izaya but he couldn't even admit why he wanted me to stay last night. I'm in a hopelessly dangerous situation.

And they are breaking on my shore
And the rescue team won't save me now I'm out too far

And I don't even care…

So I'll waste these nights for a while
But I'll be holding onto you forever

To be honest I feel like I could stay like this forever. Him and I together… no fighting, no cussing, no insults, no vending machines… just us lying here together…

And this is where my heart is cold and torn

I'm literally stuck! On one hand I need to leave him to keep my sanity, but on the other, I have no idea what I'd do without the annoying flea in my life.

As I hear the words you said last night
The butterflies are creeping through my spine

But then I think back to our argument last night…

It's a thrill I can't shake
Yeah I know we've been writing a mistake

"What? Do you want me to say that I NEED you here?
Do you want me to say that I can't stand to be without you?
That I love you or some shit?" His words still rang through my head…

But it's hard to erase the feelings I've drawn

They'd hurt so much more than I even thought possible…

I was caught in an awkward silence

But what really pissed me off is that I didn't even say anything! Why couldn't I have just told him yes? If it really made me so upset to hear him call what we had "some shit" then why didn't I fucking tell him?

Broken down by the sound of your prelude that you played

Because I can't bare to face his rejection…

To open our symphony

But is that really worse than what I'm already going through?

I've been sleeping with the sunrise watching hours pass away
Incidentally I'm just waiting for the dusk to kill the day

All I think about is Izaya. Thoughts of him consume my entire day. Even Tom has noticed that I've been a little off. I'm always checking my phone…

But now I'm waiting for your call

Clinging to the possibility that one day he'll call or text me something besides "I'm bored…" or the occasional "come over ;)" that he only sent when he had had a little too much to drink. I'd become one of his stupid little pieces on that board he has in his office, completely and utterly dependent on him to tell me what to do…

While I throw these vending machines like you care at all

That's all I'd EVER be to him… a game piece…

So I'll waste these nights for a while
But I'll be holding onto you forever

Izaya didn't care about me… I was just another thing for him to do (literally). I can't stand this anymore. I'm going to get out of this situation but first I need to get out of this lying bastard's clutches! I roll over and begin to climb out of bed when I hear a noise behind me. I look back and see Izaya, still asleep, whimpering and grabbing at the sheets, desperately searching for me. Some part of me snapped and before I knew it, I was back in the bed holding and comforting the informant, who now had stopped struggling and resumed smirking. How could I comfort someone who had done nothing except hurt me? All he ever did was lie and use my love against me…

And this is where my heart is cold and torn

But there was that ONE time when he said he loved me…

As I hear the words you said that night
I'm falling for them every single time

Even though he was drunk there's a possibility that he meant it right? I remember our drug counselor in high school saying that alcohol only makes you do things that you already wanted to do so maybe that's what happened… its possible right? There's still a possibility that my love was being returned right? There had to be… please?

As the roses dip their heads a little further to the ground
There's a season change and all the pinks and whites have turned to brown

Who am I kidding?

Will we make it through the fall
Are we gonna make it through this fall

I need to accept the truth… If he truly loved me he wouldn't treat me like this…

Cause I don't wanna fall with you

Izaya is a narcissist, incapable of loving anyone but himself…

I'm trying

Much less the person he claims to have hated all these years…

We're dying,

I get up from the bed, this time with no objection from the sleeping flea. I get dressed and begin to gather my things.

I'm taken by your hope-filled lines

I grab a pen and paper a write him a note, all the while being careful not to wake him. I realize this sounds cowardly but I don't think I'd be able to face him if he woke up…

They're well designed and dragging me along

I walk over to the bed and kiss his forehead for what I know will be the last time.

I've be waiting for this chance

And then, with a tear in my eye, I slip out of his apartment like I had done so many times before…

and I'll be gone

Well there you have it! The most angsty chapter yet ne? This marks the beginning of a new story arc so be prepared for angst angst angst! The song is called Roses and Butterflies by Making April and as usual I've changed certain lyrics *cough* while I throw these vending machines like you care at all *cough*. I would like to thank anyone who has favorite, followed or (the best) reviewed this story! I love you all! I haven't had any reviews for the past two chapters though :( Please please please review even if it's just as simple as "I like it" or "I hate it". I need to know that somebody's reading this!