No Promises

by: Tropicwhale

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: Fluff...turn back now if not your thing.

Author Notes: I have come to the conclusion that this story is being very film noir but with more fluff. Go figure. I'm just going to go along for the ride, if that's okay with you.


Chapter Nine

Do you know what is cringe-worthy? Hot grease in the lap. Sympathy cringes included. Spike, after his little adventure in the kitchen, was moved (very carefully) to the bedroom and stripped. Willow and I carefully bandaged his lap so that it looked like he was wearing a mummy version of boxer-briefs. Willow rubbed salve onto the burn on his forearm then, leaving me to finish the job of bandaging it, went to clean up the kitchen. Spike was sulking quietly until she left. Then the complaints start. "Why am I always the one getting hurt?" I swallow a grin at his tone of voice. "That's it, you know. I'm never making breakfast again." I bite my cheek to keep from giggling. "And you're never getting sex again…if this is what fooling around with you gets me it's just not going to happen again. Period." I can't help it. I snort then swallow, grin and burst out into laughter. "Oh, fine. Laugh at the poor injured vampire with burnt bits. You better hope this damage isn't permanent." I laugh.

"You'll heal. Vampire's weaknesses don't include bacon grease and pancake batter. If they did I would know about it." I tell him. He's pouting. I kiss his cheek. He's still pouting. "Come on, Spike. It's a little funny."

"Burnt privates are no laughing matter." He whines. I cup his cheek and stroke one sharp cheekbone.

"I know. I'm just glad it was you and not me." I laugh. He growls. "Oh, lighten up. Your pants took most of the damage. Let me get you some towels to clean up your hair and face. A sponge bath will do you wonders." I lick my fingers clean of pancake. "Yum, Spike-flavored pancake mix." He cracks a smile and shakes his head at the wonder that is the depths of my lameness. "I'll be right back." I go out and get towels from the linen closet. I bumped into Kennedy on the way back to Spike. "Hey." I'm still smiling. What can I say? I have a perverse sense of humor. Of course I'm sympathetic to Spike's injury, I mean ye-ouch! But this is just a chance to prove to Spike that I can take care of him as much as he does me. I'm a big softie, what can I say?

"Hey." Kennedy says, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "Is Spike alright? He's not seriously hurt, is he?"

"Nah, just his pride. It's all pretty funny, actually. It's a shame that you were in the shower and missed it. The Three Stooges have nothing on my boy….vampire…..Spike." I shrug off my inablity to label my boyfriend and smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too."

"I mean he's so graceful usually. I guess I must be a pretty good kisser to distract him that much, y'know? I can't think of anything that would get him that bad up. It's a good thing he's not human. Otherwise, I'd be really worried for him."

"Wouldn't you rather him human? I mean think about all the things you miss out on because he's a vampire. Like days at the beach, having a family, growing old together. I mean what's a good sense of smell and a little extra gracefulness to all of that?" That's a good point. Never thought about all that. I was just happy to have what I got.

"Yeah, it be nice to have a family with him….and growing old together would be cool but if Spike wasn't a vampire then he wouldn't be Spike. Why would I want to change him? Would you want to change Willow?" I ask.

"No. I see what you're saying." She looks ashamed for having brought it up. "Sorry."

"Nah, no worries. It's better to accept what you have instead of wishing for something that's never going to happen. At least that's the way I think about it. I gotta get these rags to Spike. He's pretty battered." She laughs.

"Bad joke." I shrug and turn to leave. "Hey, Xander?" I turn back. "If, hypothetically, Spike says he's going to do something would he do it?"

"Well, yeah." I blink. "Why do you ask?" She shrugs. Uh-oh, my spidey sense is going off. "Kennedy?"

"Well, we were having a discussion about infidelity before he had his adventure in the kitchen this morning and he said that under no circumstances would he cheat on you."

"Well, that's Spike for you. He believes in monogamy. Not even being evil changed that about his personality. It's hardwired into him. He's the ultimate boyfriend."

"Would you ever cheat on Spike?" What kind of question was that?

"No. We've been through too much for me to hurt him that badly. God, just the thought of me being unfaithful would kill him." I shudder. "I couldn't do that to him…ever...I don't think I know anyone who would cheat on their lover…well...except for Oz. But he was an exception. He was wolfed out when he messed with Veruca. Willow told you how broken she was, right? When he left? Out of all of us Will has had the worst luck with significant others. She's lucky she found you." I smile. She smiles back hesitantly. I turn and walk back to the bedroom.

"Yeah. Lucky." I hear her say as I kick the door close. I walk up to the bed. Spike was snoozing in the bed. I grin. He looks so innocent when he wears white. His uninjured arm is flung across his stomach while the bandaged one is laid at his side. I sit crawl onto the bed and start wiping away the worse of the drying batter. Hmm, I'm going to have to wash his hair, it's too caked for the cloth to do much good. He opens his eyes.

"Florence fucking Nightingale to the rescue." he says drowsily.

"Only if you want me to wear the petticoats." I jib back. He smiles and I clean his neck. "I'm going to have to wash your hair. Any ideas?" He snorts.

"Shave it off?" I blink. I get an annoyed look at me for my trouble. "No. You are not shaving my hair. Do you know what I would look like with a shaved head? A bloody brunette bald chicken." I snort at the mental image. "I'm not doing that again. I like being a platinum blonde." He grouses. I smooth one of his eyebrows and he slaps my hand away. "Stop patronizing me."

"Did I say anything?" I ask gently. He looks at me sideways and huffs.

"No."

"Then shut up and let me take care of you." I scrub at a spot along his hairline. "Stubborn vampire."

"Stupid human." he bites back. I throw the sloppy towel over my shoulder and pick him up, bridal style. "Oi! Put me down."

"Nope." I stand up and try to figure out the door. "Open that." He opens the door.

"Put me down, please?" I laugh.

"Nice try. No."

"Xaaan-derrr."

"SPIIII-iiike." I whine back.

"You know it's very un-white hat of you to have this much fun when your lover is in pain."

"I'm being careful of your burns." I sit him down on the sectional in the living room next to Willow. "Watch him." I tell her and go to the bathroom.

"I can't believe this. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? BOLT?! MY BALLS ARE HARD-BOILED!!! Sorry about the langauge, Red." I hear him shout at me and snicker. I turn on the faucet to the tub and make sure the temperature is perfect. I stand and take off my tee shirt then go get lots of towels. I catch Willow's eye as I carry the cloth into the bathroom. She is helping Spike stay propped so that his battered head doesn't stain the couch. She gives me a grin. See? I'm not the only somewhat evil one. Spike has his arms crossed with the hurt one on top and sulking again. Spike is the worse patient on the planet and, if you don't take him too seriously, its fun to mess with him. I walk into the bathroom and check to see if the water level was right yet. I go into the (cleaned) kitchen and grab a Tupperware. "You annoy me." Spike shoots at me as I pass back to the bathroom. I just grin and walk backwards into the hallway.

"And you're short." I can hear him growl from the bathroom. I burst out laughing as I strip to my boxers…the ones with all the hearts all over them. I walk out and pick up my boyfriend who is back to silently sulking. The girls are trying not to giggle.

"I hate those boxers." He says childishly.

"But they're full of love for you, Spike." I waggle my eyebrows at the girls and it does them in. They both burst out laughing. Spike sulks harder. I pick him up. "I'll take him from here, little lady." Nodding to Willow, I say in my best 'Riley' impression which does not impress Spike. She falls to her side and laughs, hiding her face with a cushion and her hair. Kennedy and I laugh when Willow snorts. My best friend is G-O-N-E, gone. I shift Spike to get a better grip and she falls off the couch in giggles. "Too easy." I walk back into the bathroom and kick the door closed. Spike eyes the bathtub.

"My bandages will get wet."

"Not if you stay still and don't splash around too much." He raises an eyebrow and I readjust him. He wraps his free arm around my neck. I step into the oversized basin and shift until I'm cradling Spike so that his lap area isn't going to get wet and his head is close to the faucet. "Ready?" I ask. He shifts his grip around my neck and nods solemnly. I nod back and slowly shift so that his hair gets wet. "Close your eyes." He does and I get his head a little wetter. "I'm going to move my hand so I can get the shampoo. You're going to need to grab on a little tighter." He nods and wraps his out of action arm around my neck too. "Great. You're doing good, Spike." I grab the shampoo and adjust Spike so he was out of the flow I lather up his head and have to smile when he leans his head into the massage.

"Hmm." He purrs. I grin.

"Like that?" I ask.

"Hmm-mm."

"Okay, I think I got it all. Going back under the stream. Okay?"

"Hmm-mm." I chuckle and move him so that the suds get rinsed. I pull him up and away from the water then shut it off. I unplug the tub which has gotten dangerously close to hem of my boxers but it's all good.

"You good, Spike?" I ask.

"Hmm-mm." I chuckle again and readjust my hold so I grab the towels piled on the toilet.

"You look like one of those women on the cover of romance novels." I comment.

"No way. You're not muscle-bound enough." I snort. Wait…what is that suppose to mean?

"What are you trying to say, Spike? I'm not muscly enough?"

"Exactly."

"I'll poke your burns."

"No you won't. You're too much of a good guy and know how much that will hurt me." He opens his eyes. God, he's beautiful, all blue eyes and white flesh and hair. I throw a towel over his face and use it to dry his hair. He snuggles into my shoulder and I laugh. He pulls the towel so that it's draped over his head and shoulders like a prayer shawl and looks up at me. I shift so I'm sitting in the now empty tub with Spike in my lap. He cuddles into me and sighs heavily.

"What?"

"I want my gameboy."

"Is it in your duffel?"

"No, I was an idiot and left it in Paris. Silly me to think that I wouldn't have long periods of time doing nothing on vacation. I figured I would spend most of it avoiding you."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. You don't realize how much it is a full time job avoiding you Scoobies." I smile and snort. "What is wrong with you today? Too much of Joker's laughing gas?"

"I find you amusing. Little dog with a big bark." He growls and shifts to game-face.

"Got a big bite too." He shakes back to his human guise.

"I'm disappointed." I sigh.

"Wot? Why?"

"You just go straight for the fangs? What about your penis?"

"It has third degree grease burns because I decided to make breakfast for you. It asked to be left out of any future engagements for awhile. Better safe than sorry."

"Don't be so melodramatic. It's only second degree and we put that anti-pain salve on it that Willow made." He pouts at me. I bite his lower lip and suck.

"Oi! Awo of comissshun eer." I let go.

"What?" He rolls his eyes.

"I said" he says with a glare "Out of commission here. No rough housing." I shift and poke his side. "Oi!"

"You're not completely out of commission. I'm sure if you really wanted to we could do something."

"No. I don't want to." Such a child. Isn't he suppose to be the older one?

"Spoilsport."

"Am not. Hurt…there's a difference." I roll my eyes. "Ask your question." I focus on him.

"Conversational left turn, Spike."

"So? Don't you have something to ask today?"

"Yeah."

"Then bleeding well ask it. Ain't getting any older here." Ain't that the truth? I resist the urge to roll my eyes again and instead give him my full attention.

"Will you read me some of your poetry?" He blinks at me. "I know you still write. I'm not an idiot. Will you read some to me?"

"uhmm…"

"Spike, if you don't want to right now…you don't have to."

"Ask another question."

"When did you start writing poetry?" He smiles grimly. "Hey, different question." I point out. He doesn't react. "Spike?" He snuggles into my shoulder and the towel, hiding a part of his face, and closes his eyes. "Spike?"

"Needed an outlet. After Alexander died and Father left. The psychoanalyst told me to write down my emotions, to write down what I felt…it was an accident that it came out poetry. Mother encouraged it. Said it made her happy to hear me recite stuff so I did. She said that I had a gift for it. I wanted to make Mother happy so I kept writing. She had had too much pain not to-"

"I understand." I wrap my arm around his shoulders and run my other hand up and down his arm. "I'm also cold. Can we get out of the bathtub?" He grins and nods. "Good to know. Picking you up now." I warn as I stand and step out of the bathtub. "Grab the door?" I ask. He looks to open the door then settles back into my arms. Whenever Spike gets injured he tends to sleep it off. The more hurt he is the sleepier he gets and the sleepier he gets the cuddlier he gets. It's a domino effect. I put him to bed and, throwing on a tee shirt and jeans, walk out to hang out with my friends. It's kinda fun to take care of my lover.


Author After Notes: Fluff...yuck. My only consolation is this next chapter because you all know that I only write chapters like this to make you all happy, right? Get your daily, effing dose of romance. Freaks. I'm going to go watch an action movie now....

Tropic