Chapter nine

The sun had just set, leaving a rosy glow in the sky as Sam stepped out of the elevator and onto the surface. She looked around at the mostly empty parking lot and quickly spotted Jack, casually leaning against his big, black truck…the one he kept stored here on base.

IHe certainly makes a gorgeous picture standing there in those blue jeans, black boots, white open-necked shirt and black leather coat,/I she told herself. As she walked toward him, she wondered where Cameron was. He wasn't usually late, especially when food was involved.

"Where's Cameron?" were the first words out of her mouth, and Jack thought she sounded like she might be going to back out. Would she, if he told her that Mitchell wasn't coming?

"He said he'll meet us there," Jack lied. Actually, what Mitchell had said was that he had a date, and that they should go without him.

Sam's stomach rumbled, whether from hunger or anxiety she wasn't certain. Jack smiled and stepped closer to her.

"Sounds like someone's hungry," he said, smirking. A wisp of pale golden hair blew across her forehead, and without thinking he clasped it between his thumb and index finger and studied it. Then he let it go, expelling the breath he'd been holding, as he pushed thoughts of kissing her right there in the SGC parking lot out of his mind.

"Yes I am, but I really should get home," she said, her response sounding weak and without conviction. She was surprised my his touch, and she suspected he knew there was nothing waiting for her at home. ISo why are you bothering to lie? He knows you don't have a life anywhere but here on base./I

"But you don't want to go home, Sam," Jack told her, as he moved into her personal space. A mischievous light glowing in his dark eyes, he took a step forward, placing one of his feet between hers. "You don't want to go home to an empty refrigerator…or at best to a frozen dinner…now do you?" he asked, grinning down at her.

He knew her. He knew her house was no more a home than his was. Oh sure, he probably had a twelve pack of beer in the fridge, but as far as any real food was concerned, his pantry was about as bare as Old Mother Hubbard's. He figured Sam's was the same.

"Tell me I'm right, Sam," he said, the sides of their boots touching, fitting together like the bodies of two lovers. She was so close that he could see his reflection in her eyes, and he could smell her perfume or whatever that lovely fragrance was. All he knew for certain was that it was turning his brain to mush and making his dick swell. He wanted her, and he was about three seconds away from making his move.

"You're right," she agreed softly. And then Sam stepped back, reinforcing the wall that had existed between them for so long.

"So…let's go eat. I'm starving!" she said, denying the need she was feeling, the habit of ten years a hard one to break.

Twenty minutes later, after listening to old hits from the seventies on the radio, they were pulling up in front of O'Malley's Bar and Grill on the highway between Peterson AFB and Cheyenne Mountain. The place was mostly frequented by base personnel, and tonight was no different. Several people shouted at Jack and waved respectfully at Sam, as the two made their way into the back room.

When Jack had been her CO, they had usually sat in the back room near the pool table, and that's where they headed now. Seeing the two senior officers headed their way, and knowing that they were seated in SG-1's booth, the three young airmen got up and moved to another table. Jack merely nodded his thanks and slid across the brown leather seat, leaving plenty of room for Sam to slip in beside him. Almost immediately a waitress came over and took their drink order.

"So SG-1 still has dibs on this booth?" Jack asked, thinking it was nice that some things hadn't changed since he left.

"Yes, I guess so. But we don't come here as often as we used to." Suddenly Sam didn't feel like talking about the past. In fact, just thinking about the fact that the old SG-1 no longer existed made her throat close up and tears come to her eyes, so she looked away and tried to think of something else to say. But before she could manage to say something less nostalgic, Jack interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm sort of glad you don't come here as much now. It makes me think that our time here together was special…a time that can't be replaced." IGod, where did that sappy sounding comment come from?/I he asked himself.

"Sorry," he said, looking sheepish. "I guess I'm getting a bit maudlin in my old age." He knew he was, but he just couldn't help himself. He never wanted to be separated from her again. He knew that now, even more than he had before he turned in his resignation. He just wished he knew how she felt about him!

"It's okay. I miss those times too," she said, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, while her eyes grew misty. She turned away again, and Jack was left wondering what she was thinking.

He knew he must have sounded depressed, which at times he was, especially since he'd moved to DC. However, he hadn't intended to admit it to her or share his burden with her. She just seemed to have that effect on him…for one. She also affected him in other ways…always had, from that first day he'd seen her walk into the briefing room, looking all prim and proper in her dress blues. She had been a real spitfire that day, and even though he didn't really know her yet, Jack had been damned proud of her. He'd never told her so, and now he wished he had.

The waitress came and brought them their drink order, and for a few minutes they just sat and sipped their beers, while watching a dart game that was taking place on the opposite side of the big dining room. Jack had missed this…missed her…more than he had been willing to admit, even to himself. And now he was here with her, and he finally had a chance to tell her how he felt. But could he? Was he willing to risk being rejected? He still wasn't sure, so he quickly found a safer subject.

"I wonder what happened to Cameron," Sam remarked, looking toward the front of the restaurant.

"I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Why don't we go ahead and order?" he suggested, knowing full well that Mitchell wasn't coming.

"You don't think we should wait?"

"Nah. I think we've been stood up. So, what do you feel like having? Your usual? Filet, medium, baked potato with butter on the side, salad with low-cal Italian and no cucumbers?"

"Yes, that would be perfect!" She was flattered that he remembered what she liked.

And so, leaving the ordering up to Jack, she excused herself and went to the ladies' room. While she was inside the stall she heard two women enter the bathroom. They stood at the sinks and began to chatter away, while they primped in front of the mirror, and what they had to say shocked Sam and held her attention.

"He's here! Did you see him? He came in with a tall blonde," one woman said.

"I'm not sure. What does he look like again?" the other woman asked.

"He's probably late forties or early fifties, and he has a lot of silver in his hair, and these really intense eyes the color of dark chocolate. He's wearing boots and jeans and a black leather coat."

"Sounds yummy!"

"I'll say! And he's tall too, and in really great shape. He's a general. He was the CO at the SGC, but now he's stationed in DC at the Pentagon."

"Wow, a general! Aren't you setting your sights kind of high?" the second woman asked.

"Maybe. But I know what I like, and he's it. I would have made my move before he transferred, if I hadn't been in the middle of that stupid divorce," she assured her friend.

Sam just sat there unwilling to move. She was shocked that these women were talking about Jack as though he was some sort of animal and they were big game hunters, but she still couldn't bring herself to put a stop to their conversation. So when Sam finished using the toilet, rather than reveal her presence to the two women, she decided to stay put so she could hear what else they had to say. The next question made Sam hold her breath.

"But if he's here with someone else, why do you think you stand a chance with him?" the woman asked.

"Because, the woman he's with was his second-in-command for years. Nothing happened between them," she said emphatically.

"How can you be so certain?"

"I have it from a very reliable source. I tell you, those two would have died rather than break the regs," she assured her friend.

"So, he's still her CO?"

"No, she's still at the SGC."

"Then if they're not in the same chain of command anymore, what's stopping them from getting together now?"

"Word is they're like an old married couple. Too much water's gone under the bridge, so now they're just friends. Come on, I'm gonna see if I can catch his eye," the eager woman said, and then the two left, having repaired their war paint and sprayed themselves with more perfume.

Sam washed up and went back to the booth, where Jack was looking at her expectantly. As she passed the pool table, she noticed the two women, one short and blonde and the other of medium height and brunette, talking to two guys who were obviously about to start a game. Sam guessed that the one woman wanted to play pool, so she could strut her stuff in front of Jack. Sam thought it might be interesting to see what sort of display the woman put on…how far she would go….and so Sam slid into the booth, hoping the two women hadn't noticed she'd just come from the ladies' room.

"I thought maybe I was gonna have to go in there and drag you out. You okay?" Jack asked, real concern in his voice.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine! Sorry I took so long. I decided to step out back and phone Cassie." IGod, where did that come from?!/I she screamed at herself.

"How is she?" he asked, then he took a sip of his beer. He watched as Sam sipped hers, noticing how her full lips wrapped around the opening of the bottle, thinking they'd feel great wrapped around the head of his cock. Jack squirmed a little, rearranging his fledgling erection inside his jeans as best he could without using his hands. It had always been like this when he was with her in a relaxed setting. She'd just look at him and smile that lovely smile of hers, and he would be hard in an instant.

"I wasn't able to reach her." She almost flinched visibly at the lie. She didn't usually lie to people, especially him, so why was she lying now?

IBecause you're embarrassed that you eavesdropped on those two bimbos, while they talked about him like he was a piece of meat for sale in a butcher shop! And you're embarrassed that you are now turned on because of their discussion, and that you would love to give that woman a run for her money. But of course you won't. You're a coward, Sam, and you know it!/I she complained to herself.

INo, I'm not!/I she shot back. Jack was hers, or he could be. All she had to do was tell him about the baby. IIs that really what you want to do, Sam? Use his child to trap him? But he has a right to know about the baby, doesn't he? …as long as you don't use the child to get closer to him./I After this argument with herself, Sam was certain of only one thing; having him feel obligated to her and to the baby was the last thing she wanted.

Jack was quiet too. He knew that something was eating at Sam, but he had no idea what it was. She'd been awfully quiet ever since they got into the truck. Maybe touching her hair had been too bold, too inappropriate? Maybe she felt awkward being here with him alone? After all, normally the guys would have been with them. Maybe dinner had been a bad idea? He really didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable, but it seemed like that's what he had done.

IMaybe retiring was a bad idea too, Jack, especially when you've pinned your hopes for the future on a woman who may not feel the same way about you that you feel about her,/I he chastised himself.

Until their steaks arrived, they sat in stony silence, each buried in their own self-doubts and accusations.

Finally their meal arrived, and Jack dug into his food with great gusto, just as he always did. He ate quickly and efficiently, and soon he was finished and patting his belly with a smile of satisfaction on his handsome face. Sam watched him and smiled back, loving how sweet he looked and how un-general like. Then she saw him look at her plate, where most of her food lay untouched.

"What's wrong?" he asked. In the past when they'd had dinner here, she had made fast work of her steak, but not tonight.

"I guess I wasn't as hungry as I thought," she said, her eyes on her plate. Just then the woman, who had talked about Jack in the bathroom, came over and asked Jack to dance. Sam looked up and then cast her eyes back down to her plate once again.

"Ah, I don't know. I'm not much of a dancer," he said. He looked at Sam, hoping for some sign that she didn't want him to take the young woman up on her offer. But when she wouldn't even look at him, he felt himself getting angry. He wanted her to care! He wanted her to SHOW she cared, damn it!

IIt's a good thing you found out now where you stand now, Jack, before you buy that ring and say all that silly stuff to her about 'forever after' and crap like that,/I he told himself defensively, his heart breaking.

"Thanks, I don't mind if I do," he said, as he slid around the other side of the booth and stood up. He towered over the petite blonde, as she took his hand and guided him to the dance floor. And when he cradled the much younger woman in his arms and turned his back to her, Sam began to cry. Fighting to keep from looking like a fool, or a sore loser or both, Sam frantically blotted at her tears, stopping them before they had a chance to make tracks down her face. While she did so, she watched Jack and the woman. She didn't want to, but she couldn't stop herself.

He was holding her really close now, and she had her face turned inward, her lips next to their joined hands which rested on his chest. Her other arm was around Jack's waist, and his arm was around her shoulders. He had removed his coat earlier, and now Sam could see the muscles in his arms and back through the thin white fabric of his linen shirt. She desperately wanted to feel his back under her hands, to feel him holding her close like that, but she doubted it could never happen. Oh sure, she could get his attention by telling him that she was carrying his baby, but would he ever hold her just because he wanted to? Just for her?

Sam thought they looked very cozy, and she thought Jack seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, with his chin resting on top of the woman's head. Sam thought that the dance could lead to something else, and rather than put a damper on the rest of Jack's evening, she decided to leave before he came back to the table. She figured he'd understand and probably thank her. Leaving some money on the table for her food, she quickly slipped out of the booth and weaved her way between the tables to the front door.

Once outside, Sam pulled out her cell phone and called for a taxi. While she waited, she watched for Jack to come outside, afraid that he would and afraid that he wouldn't. In the end, he didn't come out, and Sam went home and crawled into her own bed. She had decided it was childish to cling to the SGC like a lifeline. She had a child to raise now, and she couldn't afford to be dependent on anything or anyone. She let herself cry that night, promising herself that she'd never shed a tear again for this man…a man who was never meant to be hers.

TBC