Chapter 9
"Hey... you ok?" Jane asked Maura as she sat down next to her on Maura's couch. It was evening and Maura had just gotten back from her appointment with her therapist. Jane had went home to shower and change while Maura was there.
"Uh... yeah, just thinking."
"About what?"
"Everything... how crazy it's been for me the past few years... how crazy the past week has been... how I could be... how much I could have hurt you... if I hadn't made it..."
"But you did make it Maur... that's all that matters... I don't want to think about what it would be like if you hadn't made it... it hurts too much... The only thing we can do now is take it one day at a time.. me and you... like I said from the beginning.. we are in this together... I'm not going anywhere... and neither are you..." Jane wrapped her arm around Maura and pulled her close, kissing her on the forehead. "So... what did the therapist say?"
"We just talked about everything that has happened... when I can go back to school... you..."
"Me?" Jane looked confused and worried. She didn't know where this conversation was going to go and she was excited and afraid all at the same time.
"Yeah... how awesome you have been for me and how you haven't left my side this whole time... She said you're a keeper." Maura's face turned red at the last part, but Jane didn't see it because she had her head sitting on Jane's shoulder.
"You're a keeper too... So. When are you going back to school?"
"Um... not until after Christmas break. My therapist seems to think that jumping back into school will stress me out and trigger the cutting... I guess I understand that."
"Well then it looks like we just started our Christmas break 3 days early!"
"Yeah... wait, we?"
"I talked to my Ma and the principal and Mrs. Robbins. I told them that I didn't want to go back until you did because I wanted to be here with you and help you. They all agreed that it might make things easier for you.. So unless you have any objections to it... I'm staying with you until Christmas Eve, then we are going to my house and we are doing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, together."
"That... Jane, thank you... you're amazing and selfless..."
"We're in this together. And besides even if you weren't so up to the idea I would have just tickled you until you caved and said yes anyway." Jane tickled Maura's side a little, making her flinch away from Jane's hand.
"Not if I tickle you first." Maura, in one swift motion, had Jane pinned to the couch and was on top of her, tickling Jane's sides. They were laughing so hard and Maura's weight couldn't hold her for much longer and she fell gently on top of Jane. They were laughing and trying to catch their breaths. Maura's head was in the crook of Jane's neck. Jane could feel Maura breathing on her neck and was trying her hardest not to kiss Maura right then and there.
"You are so mean!" Jane said still laughing.
"I know. I figured we both needed a good laugh, so I seized the opportunity. It felt awesome to just laugh."
"Yeah. I get it. At least we will have abs of steal now from that amount of laughing we just did."
"Jane.. there's no way to get abs made of steal.. unless.." Jane cut her off.
"Maur.. it's a saying."
"Oh. Ok... I get it now that I thought about it."
"Wow.. definitely blonde..."
Maura looked puzzled. "Is that another one of your sayings?"
"Yeah. I think it's funnier seeing the look on your face when you are trying to understand the things I say because you take them so literal. Sometimes it's better than the actual sarcasm!"
"Well I'm glad I'm entertaining for you." Maura said pushing Jane in the should playfully.
"And I'm not entertaining to you? I see how excited you got at my games!"
"I never said you never entertained me with the things you do. And I loved watching you play... Soccer and Softball are 2 sports I actually understand... softball I understand more... I'm definitely a stereotypical lesbian when it comes to sports."
"Wait you know about the whole 'lesbians play softball' stereotype, but you don't understand most of my sarcastic jokes? Seriously?"
"I did research when I was trying to figure out what was going on with me! Hello scientific method!"
"Of course." Jane said rolling her eyes but smiling. Maura knew Jane was just messing with her. Maura thought it was actually super cute how Jane was with her. "So why don't we order pizza?"
"Yes! I have wanted pizza since I woke up in the hospital."
"Ok. The usual?" The usual was a large pizza with half mushroom and half pepperoni.
"Do you have to ask? Duh the usual."
Jane ordered the pizza and when it came they sat in the living room watching tv and just talking about Christmas and Jane's brothers and how annoying they were. It was like their usual pizza nights, which Jane thought was great because at least something was still the same even after Maura being in the hospital.
"Did you get a new body wash or something?" Maura asked.
"Uh... yeah, new body wash. Why?"
"When we were having our little tickle fight and I landed on top of you I could smell it on you... It smelt delicious. Was it vanilla?"
"Yeah. I love vanilla. I don't like to wear perfume, but I like to smell good. So I just use awesome smelling body wash."
"Nice. I like vanilla too."
They sat in silence watching tv for a little longer until Jane started to get tired. "I'm getting tired. Do you want to go to bed?" Jane asked.
"Yeah. I'm not tired yet but maybe if I go upstairs and lay with you it will make me sleepy."
"Ok."
They went up stairs and got into their pajamas and laid down in Maura's bed. Both Jane and Maura were laying side by side until Jane turned over and was looking at Maura watching her just stare at the ceiling. Jane could tell she was thinking and she didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing for her to be but Jane just let her stare and think. Instead, Jane scooted closer to Maura and laid her head on Maura' shoulder. Jane snuggling into Maura like that has happened before, but it was more rare because it was usually the other way around.
Jane put her arm over Maura's stomach and sighed. "Whatever you're thinking about, don't think for to long and get some sleep. I would hate to see what you are like with little sleep."
That earned a chuckle from Maura. "You go to sleep. I'm sure I'll fall asleep soon."
"Ok. Night Maur."
"Night."
Jane drifted off to sleep quickly after that, but Maura continued to stare at the ceiling until she was pulled out of her thinking by Jane rolling over onto her back. She looked at Jane and smiled, thinking how cute she looked when she was asleep. She rolled over to her side, leaning on her elbow to just lay there and watch Jane sleep. That was when she got a daring idea. Maura leaned over and looked at Jane's sleeping face. That's when she leaned down getting centimeters to Jane's lips and whispering, "I love you. More than you can imagine." She placed a soft kiss on Jane's lips. Jane only stirred a little and when she was sure Jane hadn't woken up, Maura whispered again. "I hope some day you will be mine." With that Maura rolled back over onto her back and willed herself to fall asleep. She kept thinking about how much she wished Jane was awake so she could know how Jane would have reacted as she drifted off to sleep.
