Come Take a Walk with Me
Chapter Eight—Fortress
I paced Carlisle's office as if I were a caged animal. In essence, I did feel like that. I felt that I was losing my mind while I replayed the events of the last few days; hell, the last few hours.
While I continued to wear a hole in Carlisle's office flooring, he was busy speaking with Chief Swan, Bella's father. I was aware of every word between them, so when he asked about me, I left to go to him—to Bella.
Carlisle had forced me out of Bella's room, minutes before Chief Swan had returned from calling her mother, Renee. I had become aggravated and worried about her health. I had insisted on more tests—anything to ensure her well-being. Though Carlisle was concerned for her, he felt I was overreacting and needed to calm down.
What did he know about how I felt? His wife was indestructible.
Whereas Bella could easily suffer any form of illness. I shuddered at the thought of the hundreds of communicable diseases in the hospital alone. Was I to spend the rest of Bella's life worrying of such things?
Immediately struck with the grief of losing her, normally, I would have at least sixty years with my fragile little human. That is, if she died of natural causes. Bella was anything but normal. Her ability to gravitate toward trouble was worrisome. She could die in an accident at any time. I cursed silently at the imagery and thought.
My steps slowed as I approached her room. Thankfully, Carlisle had the good sense to cover up the vampire-shaped hole in the wall with a well-placed screen and curtain. Emmett was already on the roof, creating a leak to appear as if it caused the damage to the wall. Carlisle assured me that he would make a donation to cover the costs. It was the least of my troubles.
There was only one person that was foremost in my thoughts. Filling every waking moment of my existence since the day she stepped into our mutual classroom. Considering that, I no longer slept, that was a monumental amount of time. Would it always be this way?
"Here he is," Carlisle said as I entered Bella's room.
Though I felt their eyes on me, mine looked over Bella's prone form. She was so small and fragile in that bed, the unnatural and inefficient lighting cast ominous shadows across her features, making her look as if she already had one foot in the grave. Then again, she had that same foot in the grave since I first inhaled that rich, delicate scent of her blood.
"Hello, Father. Chief Swan," I said, giving Chief Swan a small grim smile. I held my hand for his and was surprised to find his thoughts sluggish. I had not noticed before. It was not as if he unintelligent, he was, but I felt like I had to push my way in to get a clearer picture. It was similar to Bella, just not as strong.
"I'm sorry we're not meeting under better circumstances, sir."
Chief Swan shook his head. "Call me, Charlie. I've been meaning to thank you since you saved my Bella weeks ago." His cheeks tinged, embarrassed by his slip.
"No need," I replied easily. "I did what anyone else would've done." However, had a human tried, her blood, and his own, would have spilled on the asphalt of the student parking lot. Charlie did not need to know that.
"Thank you all the same. This is the second time you saved her."
I smiled a bit this time. "Let's hope there isn't a third time."
Charlie grimaced. "I hope you're around when there is," he whispered to himself.
It seemed that I had gotten Charlie's approval—sort of. I would take what I could get, considering that when Bella awakened the following day, she may not remember me.
Charlie invited me to stay while he arranged for Bella's mother arrival the next morning. I also heard him arguing on the phone with someone from the nearby reservation, apparently someone called Billy refused to visit the hospital and even insisted that Bella transfer to another facility.
"I'm not about to risk my daughter just because you're a prejudice son-of-a-bitch, Billy. This is my baby girl you're talking about risking. You keep your opinions about her doctor to yourself."
Then Charlie promptly hung up. I could not help but smile. Later, I made my excuses to Charlie in the afternoon, playing the part of being hungry. I hated the idea of leaving her side for even a moment, but I knew Charlie would become suspicious.
While I pretended to head down to the cafeteria to get some dinner, I spent the time going through the many scenarios on how I would have spent the following day if I had been honest with Bella from the beginning.
For some reason, in most of my fantasies, Bella had not run when I told her what I was. Her inquisitive eyes only begged for answers. Emmett would have insisted that we would go hunting, but I was sure I would have taken her to my meadow instead.
I would allow her to see me in the sun, while secretly enjoying her as well. Under the sun, her hair would catch the light, highlighting the multitude of colors. Her skin would warm gloriously, tingeing the porcelain skin with color. The sun's warmth would have surrounded us, warming her blood, making it that much harder to resist.
However, I would have resisted. Her blood was not the only thing that sang a siren's song. Now knowing what lay beneath the ridiculous clothing, I would seek more.
I would touch her and skim my lips over every pulse point. The graceful arch of her neck, manacling her wrists long enough to savor her decadent scent there. I would run my hands along her legs, placing searing, wet kisses along the inside of her thigh.
Oh, to feel the life thrum under my lips, her musky scent of her arousal so close to my nose and mouth. I would indulge and satisfy a part of the beast, the part that wanted her body, a part of me that I would not deny if given the chance.
However, they were only fantasies.
Even though I told Charlie I was going down the hall, I chose to remain close to Bella. I waited in the next room, listening and needing the proximity to her. I heard and silently watched the flurry of activity of nurses and doctors coming and going. They each had solemn thoughts of her recovery. They were pissing me off.
I returned to the room an hour later with the purchase of Charlie's favorite from the local diner, thanks to Esme. He showed his appreciation with a smile and even thought that Billy was an idiot for having problems with my family—if he only knew. After he finished his dinner, we sat discussing the latest game and he listened to my impressive knowledge of baseball.
All the while, he never commented on my need to have my hand on Bella. Whether it was her arm, her knee, hand, or even elbow, he never questioned it. We both noticed the spike in Bella's heartbeat every time I touched her, remaining that way for a few minutes.
Was it fear or was it something else?
Edward, Alice thought as she entered the hospital. I need to speak to you.
"Excuse me, Charlie," I said as I got to my feet. "I'm going to call it a night. I'll be back to check on her tomorrow afternoon."
Charlie turned down the volume of the TV and checked his watch. His eyes turned to Bella. "I'm going to head home and get some sleep. If she found out I spent the night, she'd have my head."
"I believe you," I said with a laugh. "She doesn't like people doing things for her."
Charlie shook his head and pain etched his face. "No, she doesn't." He choked back a sob and shifted toward Bella. He tucked some hair behind her ear. He thought briefly that he was happy that Carlisle was able to keep most of Bella's hair.
I was happy about that, too. I loved that dark contrasting color against her pale neck.
"Good night, sir," I said as I turned toward the door. I wanted to be sure that he understood I was not staying the night, even though I was.
"Edward," Charlie said before I got to the door. "Is—is there something between you and Bella?"
"I hoped there would be. We were just getting to know each other." It was not a complete lie. If she had not fallen, I was sure we would have had a chance to talk. Perhaps, if she had not gotten hurt we would be sitting in her tiny kitchen discussing our science project. Instead of this white, sterile room with infernal beeping machines.
Charlie scratched the back of his head, remembering how excited her mother had been about Bella's first and only date back home. I grumbled silently to myself—of course, she had a date before. I would be a fool to believe otherwise.
However, I could not help but feel resentful. Here I had been waiting for her for nearly a century, living a lonely existence without her. All the while, she spent an evening with pubescent boy as I suffered. A part of me wished to seek the little fucker out and squish his head until his ears bled.
"Ewww", Alice thought and must have seen me contemplating searching for this boy.
"Oh, um, alright," Charlie said. "I figured it was something like that. It's just strange that Mike Newton keeps calling here to find out Bella's condition. He made it sound as if they were dating."
The silent internal grumble against the insignificant human that was Mike—raged. I contemplated at least ten thousand different ways that I would kill him. Some were quick and efficient and others he suffered for quite some time. Listening to the minds of all the filth I once hunted allowed me to pick up a few techniques on torture.
"No, sir," I replied through clenched teeth. "They're just friends."
"Good." Charlie was relieved that Mike and Bella were not dating, since he believed that Bella did not belong here in Forks. Mike was slotted to return home to his father's store. Charlie believed that his daughter was destined for more. He was right, of course.
Bella's future was bright and beautiful, too strong to keep contained within the walls of shadow and rain. She was not meant confinement and she would be if she became a vampire.
I bade Charlie another farewell and left Bella's hospital room. I hated that Alice was forcing me to leave Bella when I had only planned to make it look like I was leaving for Charlie's benefit.
"What is it?" I asked when I found her in the parking lot.
"The future is chaotic right now. Sometimes I get a flicker then it disappears just as quickly, changing. Other times, it disappears completely."
"Who's future disappears?"
Alice averted her eyes from mine, which was so unlike her. "Bella's."
"She's goin—she's going to die?" I groaned.
"No. At least, I don't think so. I think she'll get a few visitors."
My eyes snapped open to find her worried eyes. "Who?"
"I don't know," she replied thoughtfully. "But whoever it was doesn't visit while she's in the hospital, they visit when she returns home."
"The Quileutes'."
"That's what Jasper thinks." She showed me a vision of Charlie and me helping Bella inside her home, and then once we were inside, everything went black.
"There's something else, Edward." She looked pensive again as if what she had to tell me would change everything or nothing. I hated that damn look. "There are three vampires nearby, Jasper and Emmett tracked their scents near some of the campgrounds further north. They also came across another scent, and Emmett recognized it."
"He knows one of the vampires?" I asked but she immediately said no. "Wolf?"
She nodded, wrapping her arms around her waist. She was not with our family when we first encountered the wolves, and I could understand her fear—she could not see them. "They're back. Jasper and Emmett think it's just one for now."
"Alright, as long as the other vampires are in the area, I intend to stay close."
"Peter and Charlotte are coming for a visit," she blurted out.
I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. Despite their general rule of not hunting in our area while they visited with Jasper, I could not trust them with Bella so close.
"Then you will understand that I will not be leaving her side," I spat.
"I understand," she whispered. "They wouldn't hurt her."
"I am not leaving her side, Alice." My tone told her that the discussion was over.
She nodded and handed me a USB flash drive. "What is this?"
"I downloaded all her journals. I saw that you planned doing it, so I thought I would save you the trouble. No wonder you wanted to get her a new computer. That thing is ancient."
"Thank you." I pocketed the drive and grimaced. "Do you think this is wrong? To read her thoughts," I asked.
"You're going to need them," she said softly. "If you knew the way she thinks, get to her know her, it'd make things easier for you."
"She is not going to remember me when she wakes up, is she?"
"I'm sorry, Edward."
That was what I was afraid of hearing.
The rest of the evening, I spent watching over Bella. Occasionally, a nurse would check her vitals, write them down, and leave. With each visit, I spent that time hiding behind a screened off area. The uninterrupted moments I spent trying to read her mind or enter it.
Not sure which since, I had never experienced anything like that. Carlisle was checking with some other vampires, including Eleazar, a family friend from Alaska, if any of them had heard of something similar to Bella's gift.
He assured me that Bella's identity would remain a secret, even using "research" as a reason for asking these questions. I did not like it, but we needed to know if whatever was happening to her was normal. Then again, I was sure no human had shown this level of potential.
Friday evening was soon becoming Saturday, and with it, partly cloudy skies. I would have to leave. I hated that the sun would keep me from her, I worried that she'd awaken while I was gone. Before my departure, I gave in to touching her again. I walked around her bed, my fingertips brushed along her arm. Some of the tiny hairs rose, since my touch was too cold. I watched as her breath caught and her soft lips parted. I wanted to believe she could feel and sense me. I stilled, taking the time to check the monitor. Her heart rate increased as I continued a path of ice to the palm of her hand.
I concentrated, trying to hear her thoughts, willing it to happen. I had never felt the barrier there before the accident. I just felt nothing. However, since her fall, I could feel an impenetrable force keeping me out. I focused on only her and nothing else.
The shield that protected her mind seemed like a dark wall. I pictured myself in front of it, punching and clawing to get inside. Every time my mental representation of myself made contact with the wall, it glowed red.
"You don't belong here," her voice said. A shape shimmered behind the black wall, rippling as if was made of water.
"I know."
The figure filled out, becoming more cohesive and real. She cocked her head to one side, watching me. She held up a finger against the now translucent wall.
"I know your face." She smiled and laid her hand now on the surface, tiny ripples lapped her hand.
"You do know my face." I held up my hand cautiously, wanting desperately to touch her.
"But I don't know you…you…you…" her voice echoed and resonated through the wall.
I shook my head and allowed my hand to touch where hers lay on the other side. The wall bellowed and tried to push me back, but I held firm. I widened my stance and planted my feet into the ground.
"When you wake, I will be there, Bella. I will answer all your questions, and if you still want me, I will stay with you."
The wall continued to swell, protest against my intrusion, when finally Bella disappeared behind the wall. I shook my head to dispel the pinpricks of pain and the sounds of the real world that started to return to me. I had come to realize that once immersed in her mind, it was as if the rest of the world faded away. With her hand in mine, I leaned down and placed a kiss on her soft lips.
"I will not lie to you anymore, I promise." Her heart raced at my words, but before I could say any more, I heard a nurse at the door, and before it opened, I was gone.
Night turned to dawn, forcing me to take to the shadows and trees outside of the hospital. I ran the perimeter and found nothing out of the ordinary. Alice had left my car in the lot, leaving me a note to take the time to hunt and to come home. She assured me that Bella would be fine. I was thankful that Esme was able to take care of my car so quickly.
I did not want to leave but the sun would soon filter through the windows of the hospital. I took my time getting home. I was not sure if I was taking my time because of Emmett's teasing of my relationship with what should technically be my food, or facing Jasper who had contemplated drinking from and killing Bella. Perhaps it was dealing with three perfectly matched couples.
Now more than ever, I found myself out of place. As if I did not belong, perhaps I never really had. Being alone never seemed an option, because the few times I ventured away from family had led to an incredible bout of loneliness.
My family loved me, and I them. I just wanted someone to love as each of them loved their mates.
I had always found the word mate distasteful. Yet, there was no better word to explain the connection a vampire had with the one that was meant to be theirs. It was something found in nature, why not in vampires.
Had I found my mate in Bella? The one person I would not be able to be without—yes. She was mine and she would know it soon enough. Memory loss be damned.
AN: Betaed by kyla713.
