Title: "I'll Be There" Chapter Eight

Author: Macattack102712, aka "Mac Mackenzie"

Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed Fall/Winter 2017.

Pairing: Harm/Mac

Category: Romance/Angst

Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.

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LATER THAT AFTERNOON

AJ stole a glance at Mac as they drove along. Throughout the meal, she had remained fairly silent and he often caught her staring listlessly into the darkness. Matt had fallen asleep in the backseat, exhausted after the long and delayed flight.

He contemplated what to say. The Commanding Officer in him warned not to get overly involved in the lives of his officers. But his people at JAG…they were different. They were like family; his family. And when family struggled, he couldn't stand by and let them struggle alone.

"Mac, have you been getting proper nutrition and adequate rest?"

Mac snapped out of her thoughts. Her conscience struggled as she contemplated whether to tell the truth. Her conscience won. "No sir". Her voice was so quiet that AJ had to strain his hearing to catch the words.

"I thought as much". He eased the SUV onto the exit ramp towards Georgetown. "Mac, you must look after yourself. If you don't eat right, your immune system will get weak. It puts you at a higher risk for infections and viruses".

"I know, sir. But my entire world has been turned upside down. And it's selfish of me to be thinking of myself. My uncle needs me". A fine tremor permeated her voice despite her best efforts.

It pained AJ to hear the distress in her voice. He knew he came across as a hard-ass Commanding Officer, but his heart hurt regardless. "Mac, you have us at JAG. We're family. We care about you. All you have to do is ask".

"Sir, I hate depending on others. It's not what Marines do". She fought to keep her voice calm and steady. "We were taught to deal with difficult situations alone, to rely on our Marine training. It was bad enough that I'm an al…that my uncle had to help me…well….you know." She looked out the window in embarrassment. The Marine in her was disappointed that the human part of her getting the best of her! In front of her C.O,. no less!

He pulled into her apartment complex and found a parking space. "Mac, you hear me, and you hear me well. There is nothing, absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Whether it be your past, or your present". He took the opportunity to face her. " All of us have our own addictions and demons to fight. Including myself. My stubborn pride wouldn't let me ask my own people for help. Even when they were all I had left. And because of that, I've found myself in some pretty sticky situations I almost didn't get out of."

"But you let me defend you in that situation involving that kid, sir" she replied earnestly.

He nodded. "Yes, Mac. That's when I learned to let go of my pride and stopped being a jerk to those who just wanted to help. I realized, I may be a former SEAL and an Admiral, but it doesn't exclude me from needing help". He gave her a wry grin as she returned one, albeit sheepish, before he moved to wake Matthew up.

"Home sweet home".

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1550

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown, Washington D.C.

Colonel O'Hara sighed with relief as Mac ushered them into her apartment. "There's no place like home".

She turned to relieve AJ of her suitcase. "Admiral, can I get you anything?"

He grimaced. "No, but thanks. I need to get back to the office. I've got a long day tomorrow". At Mac's puzzled expression, he answered her unasked question. "Two words Colonel: the SECNAV".

She gave him a sympathetic look. Her C. O. was not exactly in the SECNAV's good graces. Whenever he darkened the doors of JAG, it always accompanied bad news. He, along with Clayton Webb, seemed to only bring trouble and chaos. She moved to help her uncle out of his coat. "Give me just a minute to get him settled in before you leave, sir. I need to talk with you ". She ushered Matt down the short hallway and into the guest bedroom, their voices drifting away.

AJ took the opportunity to look at the picture frames that lined the mantle. There were ones he'd seen before: the group photo on the steps at JAG, the Roberts' wedding party, and the christening of baby AJ. Then there were ones he'd not seen: pictures of Harm and Mac on their various adventures over the years, one of Mac with her 'little sister' Chloe, and Jingo. The last photo showed Matt helping her ride a bike. She sat perched on the seat, the training wheels laying on the grass behind them. As with any daunting task, she wore an expression of extreme concentration. It was obvious she took this lesson very seriously. Matt stood to the side, his big hands covering hers where they tightly gripped the handlebars.

"I was six in that picture. Uncle Matt promised he'd buy me that bike if I let him take the training wheels off."

Mac's voice behind him startled him right out of his skin.

"Damn Colonel! What are you trying to do? Kill me before the SECNAV does?"

"I'm sorry sir". She gave an apologetic smile. "I thought you heard me walk up".

"Guess my SEAL ears a little rusty"

"I loved that bike. Took a few tries and a few bruises and scrapes, but I got the hang of it. A few weeks later, I came home from school and it was gone. My father told me it had been stolen. I believed him. When I saw the neighbor's kid riding it the next day, I went over to take it back. We got into a fight and I broke his nose".

AJ snorted with amusement. He didn't doubt for a minute she must have been a scrappy little kid!

"His dad called the cops. And then I learned my father traded it to Jacob's dad. He owed him money he lost in a poker game".

'What kind of father does that?

"Anyway, that was a long time ago". She waved away the memory, and the emotions, as though it were a pesky gnat. After all, it did not do to dwell on the past.

AJ set the frame back down in its rightful spot and turned to face her. "Rabb is done with the investigation. You need to talk to him. I will NOT delay any longer".

Mac rubbed her arms against the sudden chill that had crept into the room. "Yes sir". She sighed. "When does he get in?"

"24 hours".

He saw the flash of disappointment in Mac's eyes. He knew the feelings they held for each other ran far deeper than friendship.

"Thank you again, sir". She walked him to the door, and for the first time that evening, looked him in the eyes. "I'll never forget all you've done for the two of us".

"Take the next two days off. I don't want to see you in the office until Commander Rabb returns. That's an order, Colonel". He pulled rank to let her know he meant business.

"Yes sir!"

And with that, AJ exited her apartment. Just when she thought she had him figured out, he threw her for another loop. Shaking her head, she checked on her uncle, who had fallen asleep, one more time before settling herself on the couch. She had a book and a cup of coffee in hand. It was going to be a long evening.

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0800

Conference Room

USS Patrick Henry

Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean

Storm clouds had moved in over the Patrick Henry during the early morning hours, and as a result, the carrier's movements were choppier than usual. But he was used to it. For once, he was glad Mac wasn't with him. Throughout their partnership, they had been on countless carrier investigations. On more than one occasion, she'd been forced to visit sickbay for intravenous, anti-nausea medications. He always hated seeing her suffer from seasickness, always hated seeing her face pale and covered in sweat. No matter how hard she worked to hide it, it was obvious. And when his shipmates made fun of her behind her back, he was quick to put them in their place, citing disrespect of a senior officer.

Which was partially true.

The other part of that truth was, he was protective of her.

Sturgis knocked on the open bulkhead and crossed the threshold without waiting for his welcome. He quickly shut the door behind him. "Hey man, we've got a ship to shore call from the Admiral holding on the line".

Harm immediately reached for the phone and put it on speaker. He prayed his findings were sufficient to close the investigation so he could get back home. He'd been on that carrier for five days.

Five whole days he'd been away from her. And to him, that was five too many.

"Admiral, good morning" He greeted.

"Morning Commander Rabb, Turner. I've got the SECNAV with me. Before we begin this conversation, the two of us would like to express our appreciation for a most expeditated and thorough investigation." AJ pinned the SECNAV with a look that dared him to voice any arguments.

Harm picked up on the tone in the Admiral's voice and knew to keep his responses to a minimum. He and the SECNAV were not on the friendliest of terms. He also knew the SECNAV's request to place him at the helm of the investigation must have been a bitter pill for the SECNAV to swallow.

AJ shuffled the stack of papers and located the report. "Admiral Morris and I reviewed your reports".

Harm held his breath and waited impatiently. The silence was nearly suffocating.

"He found no just cause for pilot error or neglect and has recommended the investigation be closed. Furthermore, Commander West can resume all previously assigned duties effective immediately".

It was all Harm could do not to shout victoriously.

"We will be sending over a formal letter of release within the hour. You may inform Commander West of our findings," AJ added.

"Thank you, sir". Harm and Sturgis said in unison.

"And Commander Rabb, please follow up with Colonel Mackenzie. She would appreciate your feedback on a case." AJ was careful with his tone in the presence of the SECNAV. After all, romantic relationships between two officers, regardless of rank, were forbidden within the same command. The last thing he wanted was to jeopardize his officer's careers before he had the opportunity to work out alternate placements.

Harm had worked with AJ long enough to read hidden messages. He couldn't get off the phone fast enough. "Yes sir, understood sir".

The SECNAV chose to speak at this time, thinly covering his irritation at having to grovel in gratitude. "Commander Rabb, Turner. On behalf of Commander West, I wanted to extend a word of appreciation at your efforts. AJ was…" he glanced over at the Navy SEAL, who could barely contain a smirk from creeping across his face... "correct in his insistence in leaving my name out of the investigation".

Harm and Sturgis exchanged mixed looks of surprise and smugness. Hell did freeze over! He cleared his throat, leaning closer to the handset and ensuring all amusement was vacant from his voice. "Thank you, sir. I am glad the Commander is allowed to resume his duties".

AJ couldn't help but enjoy the look of meekness that muddled the face of his superior. He'd lost count as to the number of times he'd been force to swallow his words and cater to the demands of the SECNAV. "Rabb, Turner, enjoy the flight home and a job well done. Good day!"

The line went dead, and Harm hung up the phone with a sigh of relief. Not only was his client absolved of any wrongdoing, but he could now get back to Mac.

"Time to get you on the next available helo. They are looking for a break in the weather this afternoon. It should afford you a short window out of here". He laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You'll be home before you know it buddy. Give my regards to Mac".

He shook his hand. "Thanks Sturgis. I mean it."

"You bet! Now, let's tell our client the good news and get you packed". The duo exited Harm's quarters, both men's shoulders considerably lighter than they had been in the last few days.

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0900

Mac's apartment

Georgetown, Washington D.C.

Mac was folding the laundry when the sharp ringing of her phone interrupted the quiet environment. Running to answer it before it could rouse her uncle, she snapped up the receiver without bothering to check the caller I.D.

"Colonel Mackenzie".

"Mac, it's AJ. The investigation was closed and Rabb will be returning home this afternoon. You should be expecting a call from him soon".

At this revelation, Mac felt her heart both speed up and drop. He was coming home!

I know they were happy with that news".

"Yes, and I told Rabb not to be at the office until Monday. This will give you the opportunity to tell him. Tonight". He was gentle, but firm. The simple truth was that Mac needed him. For a moment, he hesitated, but after deciding that what the SECNAV didn't know couldn't hurt him...he offered up a deal. "I'll arrange a few days of additional leave for the two of you, if needed".

"Thank you, sir, that's very kind. I…we…may need it". She blew out a breath. "I really need to get off here, then, so that I can call him. Goodnight, sir." She ended the phone call and sat down heavily on the arm of the couch, her nerves jumping all over the place.

'Well, Mackenzie, it's now or never! Call him!'

With the phone still in her hand, she quickly thumbed over the familiar number that held the first position on her speed dial list. 'Lord, please give me strength to make it through this phone call'. Nervously she pressed the 'call' button and waited anxiously for the lines to connect.

Ringggg!…..Riinnnng!…Rinnnnnng!'

Part of her wanted him to pick up, the other part wasn't so sure. It was this constant tug of war between her mind and heart that left her both confused and exhausted.

Rinnnng!...Riiiin-

Her heart fluttered as the call picked up and his familiar baritone came across the crackly line, but her anxiety or hopefulness, (Mac wasn't sure which one) was short-lived upon the realization that she'd received his voicemail.

'You've reached the voicemail of Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. I hate I missed your call but leave me a quick message and I'll get back with you as soon as I can'

She quickly swallowed the lump in her throat.

BEEP!

"Hey, the Admiral told me the investigation was over and you're headed home. I'm glad everything went well". She fought to steady her voice. "Harm, I really need to talk to you, so, um…. if it's not too much trouble, would you…would you please stop by the apartment? I'd appreciate it. Thanks". She hastily pressed the end button before she could say anymore.

A mixture of disappointment and shame washed over her. While she was sure he had enjoyed being on the carrier, the selfish part of her was glad he was returning home. Her heart longed to see him and to seek shelter in his strong arms. The wait was almost unbearable. She hugged herself, willing her nerves to quit jumping.

'Whoa Marine! He's just a friend, remember?'

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered as she picked up the laundry basket, intent on finishing the two loads she'd put in the dryer earlier. The world around her suddenly went sideways in a turbulent whirl, and she stumbled, catching herself by clutching the back of the leather loveseat. The basket hit the floor with a dull thud, scattering its contents at her feet. Mac bit back a groan when the blood rushed to her head, assaulting her with a terrible throbbing at her temples. The heat washed over here as a chill simultaneously settled into her bones, causing her to shake all over. Closing her eyes tightly, she took several deep breaths in an attempt to keep the bile from rising further into her throat. The last thing she wanted was another trip to the bathroom; she had already spent the past two mornings throwing her guts up. She didn't think her stomach muscles could handle much more. As the wave of dizziness and nausea began to abate, she sidestepped the tossed pile of laundry and slowly made her way to the kitchen for some aspirin. Removing the bottle from the medicine cabinet, her hands trembled as she struggled to uncap the bottle. Quickly she downed three caplets, knowing the only thing that could really make her feel somewhat human was a certain sailor.

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1830

Somewhere on the Beltway

Georgetown, Washington D.C.

Harm barely kept within the speed limit as he whizzed along the interstate. Once the weather had cleared, Harm was on the first helo out, and it wasn't a moment too soon. Sturgis had tolerated his incessant pacing with the patience of a saint. He gently reminded him that rubbing a hole in the floor would not get him to Mac any sooner. But Harm barely registered his words because his mind was already back at home with her.

The moment his feet hit ground, his phone dinged with a voicemail alert.

It was from Mac.

The sound of her voice, so hesitant and quiet, sent a wave of fear down his spine. His normally confident Marine sounded anything but confident. She sounded…lost. As though the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. It was all the confirmation he needed.

Something was horribly wrong.

It had been an agonizingly slow flight into port, and now, with the desolation of her voice playing repeatedly in his mind... it seemed that his trip to Georgetown was even slower. Harm felt like it was his rotten luck that every slow person in the county had taken to the roads. His patience was beginning to wane.

'Tell her as soon as you return home, Harm. Don't wait another second'

Sturgis' words echoed in his head.

Harm knew he wouldn't...couldn't wait any longer. So many years of confusion, trampled feelings, denial. Missed chances. Yet, the answer had been there all along.

He loved her.

And not just any kind of love. It was the type that endured eternity, involved building a home, and growing old together. The love that included having the family they desperately wanted.

He peeled into the parking lot of her apartment complex. He was relieved to see her 'vette in its usual spot. He quickly entered the building, foregoing the elevator. Elevators took too long, and he was anxious to see her. He strode towards her door with purpose, willing his nerves to settle as he softly knocked on the door.

No answer.

'Her car is here, and it's late. She's usually home at this hour.'

He knocked again.

No answer.

"Mac? You home? It's me".

He pressed his ear against the white veneer of the door, listening carefully for any sounds of movement on the other side. But he was only met with silence. Harm shook his head as he pulled his keys from his coat pocket. He really hated to intrude on her privacy.

'What if she was asleep already?

Knowing Mac, though, she often went to bed late. She had told him years prior she suffered from insomnia.

He fiddled with the key to her apartment and paused when a thought crossed his mind.

'What if she...was in the bath?

That would explain her not answering the door.

Unexpectedly, but deliciously appreciated, visions of Mac dressed in nothing more than a bathtowel meandered their way through his mind.

'RABB! Get a hold of yourself!'.

He decided to knock again.

Suddenly, the door opened...But not the door to Mac's apartment.

It was the one from across the hall.

"Commander…..?" the woman eyed him warily.

'She must be military, or at least a military wife, to have recognized my rank'

Harm extended his hand. "Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. US Navy JAG Corps."

She dusted off her floured hands on the dishtowel thrown over her shoulder before returning his greeting. "I'm Stephanie Barnett, by the way". She motioned at Harm's insignia. "My husband is Lieutenant Commander Thomas Barnett, US Navy. Deployed on a carrier in the Indian Ocean".

His suspicions were confirmed. "I just returned from a carrier myself. Patrick Henry". He motioned toward her open door as children's voices filtered out into the hallway. "I'm sorry to interrupt your meal, ma'am".

The woman shook her head and smiled. "No problem at all. With two little ones, I'm quite used to the constant interruptions".

He motioned towards Mac's quiet apartment behind him. "I have been trying to get in touch with my partner, Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, but, we keep missing each other". He took a deep breath. "I…I am concerned about her. She left me a voice message, asking me to stop by on my way home. She's not answering the door. Have you seen her this evening?"

Stephanie called over her shoulder into her apartment. "Thomas Jr.! Keep an eye on your brother. Don't let Joey get into the dog food!". She gave Harm an embarrassed smile as she stepped out into the hallway and shut the door. "I have a five-year-old who has the attention span of gnat and a one year old who thinks our dog's kibble tastes great"!

Harm couldn't help but laugh at the mental image. "Well, as my mother used to tell me...When you have a son, you sign yourself up for all sorts of things, including things you didn't know you signed up for".

She eyed him with a knowing smirk. "If you're anything like my husband, something tells me you kept your poor mother on her toes quite a bit while growing up".

"That would be correct, ma'am,". He turned the conversation back to his partner. "Mac's car is in the parking lot, but she's not answering her phone or her door. Have you noticed anything….out of the ordinary?"

Stephanie studied him for a long moment. As a general rule, she stayed out of the personal affairs of her neighbors. A military wife, she'd learned the less one knew or said, the better off they were. But the Colonel who lived across the hall from her was different. On more than one occasion, Mac had gone out of her way to help the often-frazzled mother of two. Yet she never expected anything in return. "I normally don't divulge my neighbor's personal information or whereabouts," she shared, "but…I feel I can trust you. This evening, there was a commotion in the hallway. When I looked to see what was going on, there were paramedics hauling a gurney out of her apartment. I couldn't see who it was. There was a lot of equipment and people gathered around". She shook her head in sympathy. "I'm sorry, that's all I know. I would have followed her to the hospital, but I have no one to watch my boys".

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he twisted the cover in his hands. "D-Do you happen to know w-where they were taking her?"

"Yes. Georgetown Medical Center. I heard them call it in on the radio".

"Thank you, ma'am. Again, sorry for the interruption," he made a motion to quickly leave but was stopped by Stephanie's hand on his arm.

"Please let her know I'm concerned about her. She's been so good to us".

He nodded. "Absolutely. You have my word. Evening, ma'am". He tipped his hat to her dashed towards the exit, his heart hammering wildly in his chest.

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1900

Somewhere on the Beltway

Georgetown, Washington D.C.

'Harm…. I…. I need to talk with you when you get back home. Please.'

Her distressed voice, full of suppressed emotions haunted Harm's thoughts as he sped along the Beltway. He pressed the gas pedal further, the speedometer jumping up in response. He was going well over the speed limit, but it didn't matter. The only thing that did was getting to her. The rational side of him nudged its way through, forcing him to flip on the hazard lights as a precaution. The last thing he wanted or needed was to get pulled over.

'Paramedics…. her apartment…Colonel'

Stephanie's words repeated like an echo. He didn't remember anything she said after that. As soon as the words registered, fear begin to pool inside and spread throughout his body. It nearly paralyzed him in its wake.

Thwarted by a traffic light at a busy intersection, he grabbed his cell phone and punched the speed dial for AJ. He waited impatiently for the line to connect. It was just a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity before AJ's gruff voice came across the speaker. His response was broken and hard to understand through the static.

"Rabb, meet -me- -Georgeto- -Med- Cent- r-."

'He must have been anticipating my call because he skipped right past the greeting'

An unpleasant realization began to form at the edge of his mind.

"Sir, what's going on? Is Mac okay?" Harm pleaded.

"I will ex-lain -to- - -you- -get- -'ere".

The line was now filled with static and a chain of more broken words.

"IS MAC OKAY!?" Harm practically screamed into the phone. He didn't care about the tone of his voice, or his failure to address the Admiral appropriately.

"Rabb, she's- "

The line went dead, a victim of poor handoff between towers.

Frustrated, Harm threw his phone against the dashboard. He was confused, scared….and pissed as hell. If something had happened to Mac and the Admiral either knew about it or put her in danger...Harm wasn't sure his seventeen years of military discipline would keep him restrained. He swore violently and pressed the pedal even harder as panic seized his chest.

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:: END CHAPTER SEVEN::