Cursed Touch

By Rurouni Star

Chapter 8 – Duality

"The mistakes are all there waiting to be made."

                                                            -Chessmaster Savielly Tartakower

            The pure white pulsed against her body, immersing her, becoming her. It burned and licked and jumped like flames… but didn't consume her.

            "Not yet, no…" his voice cut through with amusement.

            She noticed too late the glint of a nearly complete Shikon no tama. It was the only thing she could see now.

            "And now, we'll see if it works the way it's supposed to…"

            The jewel flashed once, darkening to a pitch black, the way she'd seen it do in Miroku's hands before…

            "Yes, Naraku. You nearly abandoned our bargain – if she had not snapped from your trance by herself, it would have been very painful, wouldn't it?"

            "No! It can't be…"

            "So demanding, Kikyo. I just became a bit overexcited – she will still pass peacefully, worry not."

            And the light itself tightened against her, pulling back with a hiss toward the encroaching darkness.

            "Listen to me," Kikyo's voice called to her softly. "We will end this once and for all. You will not have to bear this pain of life any longer…"

            "Pain?"

            "Am I… in pain…?"

            "Yes," her past self whispered pityingly into her ear. "I see it. I will relieve you of your burden."

            "But I'm not… I'm not in pain…"

            And she wasn't – at least, not any longer. The light had curled in protectively around her and the burning had halted.

            "You deny it, then. But I know you. I know me. We are in pain, Kagome…"

            A blinking light… going out…

            "You begin to think of it again, don't you? The times you cried out… when no one heard you dying like me…"

            A flat line… a flat tone…

            And… she wasn't crying. Why wasn't she crying?

            She wanted to cry!

            "You can't leave me like this… if you loved me, you'd have stayed…"

            Her mother's pitiful words…

            But…

            Kagome was fine. Her face was dry. She had to be okay if she wasn't crying, right?

            "Kagome… are you okay? I'm sorry, I haven't been paying enough attention to you… it's just been so stressful…"

            "No momma. I'm okay."

            And they all cried, all of them. Everyone was crying except her…

            "Yes. You always remembered that. But that wasn't the worst…"

            "Moving? Why do we have to move?"

            A sad sigh. "I'm sorry, Kagome, we can't… we can't keep the house. Your grandfather takes care of a temple up in Tokyo, he's offered to let us stay there…" A forced laugh. "He said he's very lonely anyway, you know. He really would appreciate having us there."

            "My friends are here."

            "I know."

            "And… and my school is here."

            "I know."

            But she didn't ask farther. Her mother was suffering. She didn't need to add to it with her own petty troubles.

            "What mattered to us, Kagome?"

            Grades. Grades were important.

            Her father had been a brilliant engineer. Always coming up with new ways to improve, to add, to create…

            He had graduated top of his class. Surely, if she was his daughter, she could match him.

            "Kagome… you know I don't care about your grades…"

            "I know, momma. But I do."

            "Kagome-"

            "I'm okay, momma."

            "And it all came crumbling down…"

            The absolute terror – the nightmare from her dreams. She'd never wanted an adventure, she'd always just wanted to be a good girl, a normal girl – she wanted good grades and smiles and best friends to giggle with…

            "Give me the jewel."

            "I- I don't know what you're talking about!"

            Heat. Burning. Falling…

            Will I die…?

            "Hey Kikyo! Come to finish me off, oh great priestess?"

            Don't know what I'm doing, don't know where to turn, someone please help me, please…

            "I- I'm not Kikyo, or whoever this person is! My name is Kagome!"

            Tearing, screaming as it bit into her skin…

            "Hmmph! Now that the annoyance is gone… hand over the jewel or I'll kill you next!"

            Running, unaided, the claws over her head…

            And… and…

            "Yes. Yes, there was that."

            "What… what is this…?" She felt her throat constricting.

            "What's it look like, bitch? It's a battleground. Obviously, it's been a little bit since it ended- h-hey! You… you haven't seen something like this before?"

            What if they were like him… what if they had families… did it hurt, will it hurt for me?

            "Kagome?"

            Smile. Always smile.

            "I'm okay, Inuyasha."

            Kagome let out a choked sob and felt the dead woman's cold, soothing hand on her cheek. "I know you, Kagome. I am you. Let me take you away. Death is not such an awful thing."

            You're not her, Kagome. You're still you, his voice insisted softly, coming as though from far away.

            "Death? No. No, I don't want to die, I never want to die-"

            "Oh?"

            The voice held a small note of curiosity, almost morbid.

            Not before I see you again, Kagome…he whispered.

            "I have other things. Responsibilities… I can't let the jewel…"

            "I will take care of it, Kagome. You do not have to worry about the jewel. It was, after all, in my possession first."

            "What are you saying?"

            "You can forget. You forget everything you need to while you're there."

            She felt Naraku stirring beside the undead miko, apparently impatient about something.

            "I… can forget…"

            "You have nothing left for you here."

            Someone to hold her and comfort her and understand it wasn't real…

            Yes. I'll take care of you, Kagome, came the dim voice again, barely heard beneath the jumble of memories and pain.

            "I will take care of you now, Kagome," Kikyo whispered to her, drowning out the true voice. "You won't have to bear the weight of life alone any longer."

            Weight… but that was wrong. She had borne death before as well as life. Death was far heavier…

            "Don't think of that. You're still trying to take responsibility for others – that is what caused suffering in the first place. All of this suffering…"

            Someone else's death… and then her own, as he imagined it over and over and cried in frustration at his helplessness to save her…

**

            Another battle took place, on no less an epic scale; the air outside the castle whirled with blades of air, cyclones and storms…

            "You'll have to do better than that!" Kouga called as another one missed him. "You keep underestimating me!"

            Kagura 'hmmph'ed and wove her fan around her again, the blades dancing from it easily. She knew him better than he himself did… Kouga was much too overt an opponent, brash and open with his attacks. It was really too pitiful – if she positioned this one just so, where he would dodge to…

            There was a laugh of derision at her first attack. It only intensified at the second, which had been meant to brush his arm.

            "Try again!" he mocked. "I'm not stupid!"

            Kagura frowned. So she had underestimated him a little. Or the shards, at the least.

            Another feint, faster this time… and instead of falling for the bait, he was advancing on her. Quickly.

            Who's becoming predictable now? she thought wryly. Obviously, the wolf had learned quite a bit since he had last faced her.

            The wind user spun away, as light as the air she currently commanded. Her fan splayed wider and swung – he moved closer, grabbing at it. Kagura let out a hiss of surprise and panicked, sending a surge of air to catch him in the chest. The demon let out a whoosh of surprised air as she smiled in satisfaction – but almost immediately flipped to land nimbly behind her.

            And when the fan was knocked neatly from her fingers, she knew she had a problem.

            A clawed hand closed on her wrist as she ran for it, pulling her back roughly. Kouga's sharp nails dug deeply into the tender skin of her underarm; she felt the skin tear as she struggled, rivulets of blood dripping from it. The prince caught her other arm easily, pulling it behind her painfully.

            But she still had her dignity.

            It was probably the only thing she had at this point.

            "And what will you do now?" Kagura asked, carefully keeping the shiver of pain from her voice. "Kill me? Go back on your word?"

            Kouga let out a growl. "You said yourself I never make a promise lightly."

            She forced an amused noise. "So you'll maul an unarmed woman instead? How honorable."

            There was a snarl this time. "Honor doesn't enter into this! You killed my pack and pinned it on someone else – where is the honor in that?"

            The claws were biting into muscle now, and she spasmed with an unintentional gasp. He really did mean his words, then.

            But… the claws drew back, almost as though in surprise. Kouga swallowed behind her… had he really not realized she was in pain? What an utter idiot… so he'd bought her strong act.

            Kagura pulled away suddenly and he came to attention immediately, ready to stop her on her way to the fan… but she was instead pushing her wounded arms against the already bloody kimono, trying to stem the blood with a grimace.

            "You…" he stumbled on the words he had been meaning to throw at her.

            Her arms were a mess of blood and flesh, crimson staining the delicate kimono she wore. Kouga felt a pang of self-disgust. Didn't he have any self control?

            But… she didn't deserve his control. She had done cruel things, heinous acts…

            "Don't waste pity on me," she said abruptly. "You're completely right in your assumptions about me; I took my own life above that of your people." The woman smiled that damn smug smile at him, but he didn't respond to her barbs this time.

            She was trying to act as though it didn't bother her, what he had been going to do – what she still expected him to do.

            Kouga spat at her. "Don't act so unconcerned about it. They were people too. How many of them do you think died for your freedom?"

            Kagura surveyed him coolly, her regal air still intact despite the shape she herself was in. "And how many humans died for your tribe's battlelust?"

            There was a pause. And a mutual hatred crossed the wisp of a line distinguishing between disdain and respect.

            "…leave. Before I change my mind."

            Kagura let out a surprised sound before she could stop herself. Whatever she'd thought he would do… it hadn't entered her mind that he might spare her.

            "I told you to leave! Or has your hearing gone as well as your abilities?"

            Kagura scowled. "Idiot. What do you think would happen to me if I left voluntarily?"

            He acted as though the thought hadn't crossed his mind. And then – she gasped as a claw ripped through her shoulder.

            Just above the place her heart would be.

            "So we complete our deal," he finished. She choked as she looked into his eyes – the bright blue orbs were filled with a fire… and a good deal of involuntary pity.

            "Yeah…" she choked weakly. "Go save your damn priestess."

            He grinned for just a moment, and she felt something above and beyond the pain – a wish, maybe. That things had happened differently. That she had never been a part of Naraku. That she'd had a chance at being her own person.

            Then, she remembered that she would have that chance… very soon.

            The grin disappeared quickly as he realized the utter absurdity of the situation and the fact that he despised the woman more than anything else, with the exception of Naraku himself.

            Kagura decided the feeling was still mutual as she felt the pain tear through her and the world blacked out.

**

            Miroku was silent the whole ride, invoking Shippo's suspicions. Even in dire situations, the monk was usually annoyingly cheerful, actively trying to keep up the others' spirits. Today, though… he was utterly, completely, silent.

            "Miroku…" he hazarded. "Where'd Kagome go?"

            The monk stiffened, as though brought out of a trance abruptly. "You want the truth?" he asked cautiously.

            The kitsune almost relaxed at hearing any answer at all. "Yeah."

            The priest sighed. "She went after Naraku, apparently. Alone."

            A word left Shippo's mouth that Miroku had never heard from him before. The Houshi shot a surprised look his way. "You've been hanging around Inuyasha, haven't you?"

            Shippo glared at him. "Doesn't matter. Why would she do that? Kagome's not stupid!"

            Miroku bit his lip and turned away again.

            He knew why.

            But he certainly wasn't going to explain it to the little boy.

            Kagome's life had flashed before him, before. Bits and snippets, clips he couldn't hope to understand of a cold, lonely future.

            He had been taking her for granted, that she would always be there, always happy, always positive. Hadn't they all?

            Stay alive, Kagome-sama, he commanded mentally, half-wondering, half-hoping she would hear it. Just until I get there… I don't know what I'll do, but stay alive.

            Kirara's warning rumble and subsequent descent startled him back to reality and the priest looked down immediately.

            A castle lay below them, pulsing with a jyaki so great he was certain he should have spotted it from miles away. But battling with the jyaki was another aura, a purifying force that struggled to keep itself alive.

            And down in the battlefield… a wolf, standing over the body of a bloody woman.

            "Kouga!" Shippo cried. "What are you doing here?"

            The prince of the wolf demons looked up to the voice, claws still stained with crimson. "So you're here to help," he murmured, somewhat self-centeredly, Miroku thought acidly; the monk had been intending to ask for Kouga's help, not the other way around.

            "We need to get inside to save Kagome," the monk said abruptly. "I can't take care of Naraku in this condition by any means, but I can hinder him. Can you kill him?"

            Kouga cracked his fingers menacingly. "I don't care if I can or not – I'm going to."

            Good enough.

            "There's something else in there with her," Miroku said. "Kirara and Shippo can probably take it out; if not, I'll do my best to finish it quickly."

            None dared to comment on Kagura's seemingly delicate body. But Miroku noticed, as he passed, that she was still breathing shallowly.

            At Kouga's furious look, he closed his mouth before he could ask a bad question. Other things had to be taken care of, after all.

            "She doesn't understand… I still have things to live for…"

            And if you don't, I can readily supply them, Miroku told her, though he was fairly sure she wouldn't hear.

**

            "So… it seems your friend has fallen neatly into my trap," the puppet commented with amusement. "And yet I have you pinned here with a mere pawn…"

            Sango's fist clenched angrily. They had had to move back on pain of Kohaku's death.

            "Inuyasha," she said quietly. "I… I can't let this interfere with everyone else's lives. If Naraku were to win the jewel shards-"

            "We're not going to kill him," the hanyou muttered stiffly. "That would be doing what Naraku wants."

            Her face tightened. "It's not what he wants and you know it. If we can get to the puppet before… before…" He nodded slightly in understanding. "…then I'll be happy. But if we can't, we can still stop him from killing everyone else."

            The boy fixed her with a frown. "Are you sure?" he asked, though his own anger was barely covered by steady words.

            The taijiya nodded without hesitation.

            "We can go together."