Chapter 9 – A life begins again
After leaving Lulu's room he returned to Olivia and the two of them sat vigil by their son's side throughout the rest of the night.
Dante was restless. He seemed unable to settle as if disturbed by bad dreams. Every time he moved, the alarms from the various machines would be set off further preventing any hope he had of rest. Olivia was concerned that his movements were too much for his battered kidney. He needed to be still instead of twisting about, risking undoing all the repairs that Patrick had made. Olivia did her best to comfort him, but her words and loving touch weren't enough. Her days of being Dante's safe haven, the person that he always turned to for guidance, love and comfort were numbered. Lulu had taken over that role. Olivia knew Dante needed Lulu as much as Lulu needed him. As much as it made her sad to know that someone would be taking her place in his heart, she knew it was the natural order of things and she was glad that he had found someone with as much love, and fire, as Lulu Spencer.
As Sonny watched the bond between Olivia and Dante, he could not help but feel jealous. All of the special moments a father and son experience, all the memories they build and share, he missed them all. He was going to do what he could to make things right with Dante, if that was even possible. For all Sonny knew Dante wouldn't want him to be part of his life. From everything Sonny had seen, Dante had grown in to a fine man without Sonny's input, and maybe he would be fine continuing that way. Clearly he had known that Sonny was his father before the shooting and yet he had said nothing. Sonny had to prepare himself for the fact that his son may not want to have him for a father.
Sonny decided that all he could do was to reach out to Dante and hope that they could somehow build a relationship. To that end he would help Lulu and Dante and their growing family, if they would let him. He knew that Dante's recovery, and he firmly believed that he would recover, would be difficult for a man like Dante who always seemed to be in motion. He also knew that being under so much stress wouldn't be good for Lulu or the baby. So it was settled, at least in Sonny's mind, Dante and Lulu would move into Sonny's mansion when Dante was released. Olivia could come too if she wanted. No matter how he felt about her right now, Sonny knew that he could not keep her from her son…their son. Sonny would discuss it with them when Dante was out of the woods.
It was nearing six am. Olivia was convinced that despite the rough night, Dante's color had started to return. While his fever wasn't gone, he seemed cooler to her. That had to be a good sign. She had to go wake up Lulu, as promised, to make sure she was with them when Patrick came in for morning rounds. Olivia started to leave when Sonny volunteered to go.
He wanted to have a few minutes alone with Lulu, maybe he could see what she thought of his idea of them living with him. Sonny could hear Lulu sobbing as he got closer to her room. When he came through the door, Lulu tried futilely to wipe away her tears before Sonny would see them. Sonny didn't say a word and instead came to sit beside her on the bed. Things would never be the same for the Corinthos/Spencer family. He put his hand up to Lulu's cheek to brush away the tears she had missed. At his touch Lulu folded into his arms and started weeping again.
"Sonny, you've never lied to me," Lulu said between sobs. "Do you think Dante will make it?"
Sonny replied, "In all honesty, Lulu, I don't know. I do know the love in his room when we are all together is enough for anyone to survive. Dante is special, he's a survivor. I saw that for myself after he saved Morgan. Patrick was pretty pessimistic then, and look how fast he recovered." Sonny wanted Lulu to know he would be there for her and the baby regardless of the outcome. "Lulu, you are carrying my grandchild. For that, I will always love you, take care of you and help you, no matter what." "Have you told anyone else about the baby?"
Sonny's words had been what she needed to hear right then and for the first time since this nightmare began, Lulu felt better. Lulu answered, "Just the four of us, Sonny, and my doctors. Dante and I had decided we wanted to keep it a secret for a bit longer. We needed to get things in order to be able to handle the questions that will be thrown at us. Now, keeping it a secret is more important than ever."
"Why?" Sonny asked.
"Because, if I am a match and Dante needs a kidney, I want to give him mine. This would mean I would have to abort our baby." Lulu stated it so easily. She could see the shocked look on Sonny's face at her words; she refused to look him in the eyes for fear of what she would see there. Those same dark eyes as Dante's. Maybe even the same sorrow.
Sonny was surprised at what Lulu said. "Lulu, I really don't think you want to give up this child, do you?"
Lulu sat up and brushed the tears from her cheeks. She didn't want to talk about this situation with Sonny. So, instead of answering him she changed the subject and told Sonny she needed to get freshened up before Dr. Lee came to check on her. She promised that once she got the all clear that she would come to see Dante and wait for Patrick's next update.
Sonny took her not so subtle hint that she was not going to discuss aborting the baby with him and after Lulu gave him a kiss on the cheek, left her alone, with her promise that she would join them in Dante's room as soon as she could.
When Dr. Lee arrived a few minutes later she told Lulu that everything looked fine with both her and the baby, but she was somewhat concerned about Lulu's two fainting spells. She was starting to see similarities between Lulu and Carly's pregnancies. She wanted to have Lulu tested to see if she had the same condition as Carly, but Lulu refused.
Dr. Lee didn't understand why Lulu would not want to be tested. Dr. Lee knew that with Dominic in a hospital bed with life threatening injuries that the stress on Lulu was enormous. She explained that stress during any pregnancy is not good, but if Lulu had the same condition as Carly it could be life threatening to both her and the baby. Given the current situation, she really thought it was prudent to know what they were dealing with.
Lulu listened patiently to everything Dr. Lee had to say, but she had different thoughts that she needed to talk about with Dr. Lee.
"Dr. Lee, if necessary and if I were a match, could I be a transplant donor for Dominic?" Lulu inquired.
Dr. Lee was surprised at the question. Not really knowing where Lulu was headed, Dr. Lee gave her the medical answer. "Well, Lulu, if test results came back positively saying you were a match, then yes, six months after giving birth, you could be a donor for Dominic."
Lulu knew Dante might not have that kind of time on his hands to wait for a transplant. Dr. Lee saw the look in Lulu's eyes and knew exactly why she was asking this question. She wanted to make sure Lulu understood the consequences of her actions.
"Lulu, you understand that it would not be possible to donate a kidney while you are pregnant, right? She asked. Are you thinking about aborting your baby to give your kidney to Dominic? Have you even been tested?" Dr. Lee took a breath and continued. Have you spoken to Dominic or anyone else about this?"
Since the shooting, all Lulu could think about was keeping Dante alive. She would do whatever it took to help him. He had saved Lulu from drowning without any hesitation or consideration of the risk to his own life. She wanted to do the same for him. Throughout the past 24 hours, all she could think about was what her life would be like without Dante. She never really thought about how awful it sounded to abort their child, a child which, while not planned for, was conceived out of their love, to save his life. It had struck a nerve when Dante questioned how she could even think about doing such a thing. He had been so hurt that she even considered it. Now, Dr. Lee, while not outright asking her if she really understood what she was doing, was clearly questioning her decision as well.
When Lulu had told Dante she was pregnant, he never hesitated in his love for her or the baby. It was immediate. His face had reflected joy, wonder and love for this tiny unborn child. The overwhelming love in his eyes had washed away all the fear and doubts she'd had about telling him of the pregnancy. With sudden clarity it struck Lulu this could be the only child Dante ever has. If he doesn't make it then this baby would be his legacy. The significance of the life growing within her finally hit her and Lulu began to cry and shake uncontrollably. She knew at that moment she couldn't give up this baby. As much as her love for Dante was unending, this baby meant so much to them. It was the embodiment of their love. How could she have even given a thought to aborting this baby? If, and it was a big if, Lulu was a match, they could work through the options to both having the baby and having the transplant. This baby was Dante's reason to fight for life.
As she sobbed, Lulu began to feel dizzy and her vision blurred. She lay back on her bed and closed her eyes. Almost as quickly as these feelings swept over her, calmness flowed over her in its place. She knew what she needed to do. Deep down, Lulu knew she wanted to keep this baby, she always had; she just hadn't been able to see the possibility of saving both Dante and the baby. She believed that was possible now. This baby was a part of them, and the love they found together. It would survive.
"Lulu, are you okay?" Dr Lee asked.
Lulu sat up with a newfound strength. She was sure it was Dante's presence growing inside of her. It was as if their child was already making her stronger, able to face whatever was to come. "Yes, I'm fine." She continued, "I'm not sure what I was thinking, I think I panicked at the thought of raising our child by myself."
Lulu's face reflected a confidence Dr. Lee hadn't seen since Lulu found out she was pregnant. Dr. Lee hugged the new mother and said "I know you are worried about Dominic, but things do have a way of working out when you have time to think. Your baby is healthy, but you need to keep your stress down. I know Dominic being hospitalized doesn't help with that, but you have someone growing inside of you, depending on your good health. I know you will survive whatever is thrown at you. You have grown up, Leslie Lu Spencer."
"Are we done, Dr. Lee?" Lulu knew she needed to get to Dante to tell him about her decision.
Lulu got out of bed, put on her shoes and sprinted to Dante's room. Olivia and Sonny must have stepped out for a moment for which Lulu was grateful, because she wanted some time alone with him. Dante was asleep, but Lulu could still see he was in pain. She tip toed up to him and slipped in bed beside him. She knew she shouldn't have climbed into his bed because she was sure it was painful for him to move, but she couldn't help it. She had to be next to him. She needed him to feel her presence and feel her strength, so she cuddled as close to him as she could, resting her hand over his heart and her head on his pillow. For some crazy reason, she felt relieved; she knew she could have it all - Dante and the baby.
"Dante, I love you," she whispered in his ear. "I want to keep you with me always. I want you to know, if something happens to you, I'll always have your son. I have no idea why I thought I could do what I said I would do, but I was scared to death of losing you. If you can fight for your life, I will fight for our baby's." She sounded strangely calm even to her own ears. It was if all the fear and terror of the last twenty four hours had just washed away and had been replaced by this absolute surety that everything would work out.
Dante's eyes opened and she could see the sparkle again. He smiled at her and didn't bother to try to hide his pain. There was no point as he knew she could see right through him. He was sure she could also see his excitement about their baby in his eyes. "By the way, how do you know it is a boy?" Dante questioned. "Isn't it too early to know yet?"
Dante felt a surge of energy and continued to talk, "Patrick's been in already. You just missed him. My fever has broken and the medication is starting to do its job. As long as I take things easy and do what the doctor says, I should make a complete recovery. I dodged a bullet again, pun intended."
"So, do you think I could hire you as my personal twenty four hour nurse?" he joked, a slight hint of his trademark grin making an appearance.
And with that question, Lulu knew Dante was going to survive.
