I am finally back with the ninth and one of the most important chapters thus far. I simply loved writing this chapter, honestly. It's the longest one so far and, truthfully speaking, this is my favorite one while the last one second favorite. With this ends December and things can finally start moving in a more serious concerning relationships direction. Now, I don't want anyone to misunderstand the situation thus far. Neither Kuroko nor Akashi have any sort of romantic feelings towards the other at this point. But don't worry, that will soon change with January coming up next. Forgive me, but I'm an author who likes to take it slow, so you'll just have to bear with me.
I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!
~Chapter IX~
~Nothing Special~
Kuroko should have known this couldn't have been a good idea. No way it could have been thinking logically after all. But at the time the caretaker was too tired and wished for sleep too much to think about it clearly, so he simply took the easier and the more pleasing option. He had forgotten what people with high fever tended to do while being unconscious, he himself was no exception. However, that thought didn't occur to the tired tealnet and after a few hours of sweet, dreamless sleep Kuroko found himself in a rather tricky situation.
The caretaker clearly remembered dozing off while facing the opposite direction of his patient, the latter as well and the distance between them was quite great. However, after Kuroko slowly managed to finally wake up, he was quite startled when he felt somewhat trapped. It took quite a few moments for realization to hit him and he was glad he didn't react on instinct and stayed still. However, even if this situation was quite logical and reasonable, it nonetheless seemed rather bizarre.
People with high fevers tended to sleep quite restlessly and their bodies unconsciously searched ways to cool down, even if the person himself felt cold and wished for warmth. Well, it just so happened that the nearest thing of such standards was the tealnet, since his temperature was significantly lower than the patient's, so the ill redhead instinctively, yet unconsciously cuddled up to the smaller male and embraced him, trying to take in as much of his body temperature as he could. Of course, that was the logical explanation Kuroko managed to come up with after he was fully awake. That, however, didn't erase the fact that this situation felt quite awkward for him. Nevertheless, a part of his mind reminded him that this meant that Akashi's fever most likely went up again, so he needed to check it, which meant somehow getting out of the other's grasp. Waking him up was not an option though, that was obvious. If Kuroko felt rather awkward, it would only be worse for the patient, so the tealnet decided to spare him the discomfort.
Carefully, the caretaker loosened the other's grip around him, trying his best not to wake him up. He could clearly feel Akashi's scorching skin, which only strengthened the assumption that his temperature had gone up again. Finally, with much difficulty, Kuroko managed to maneuver out of the patient's hold without stirring him awake and stood up from the bed. After that, the caretaker released a deep sigh of relief and glanced at the clock. However, seeing the time made his heart drop to his feet. Apparently, he had slept even pass noon and he was certain that lunchtime was over as well. So much for taking a quick nap.
However, for now he'd only focus on his sick patient and try to nurse him back to health as quickly as possible. It was already December 22nd, and an ill Akashi was the last thing he wished for Christmas. He doubted the other would enjoy it too.
Surprisingly, it took only a couple of days for Akashi to recover. Well, he was treated to the maximum by his caretaker, which increased his healing process significantly, so that was probably the main reason. Kuroko, forced by Akashi, went home everyday, though he would leave very late and arrive much earlier than he normally should. All of that was to make sure the patient received aid of the best quality. Fortunately, the caretaker's efforts paid off and he finally felt relief when Akashi's temperature stabilized on a normal level and, if believe his words, he overall felt quite well after a couple of days. However, the redhead bitterly swore he would never forget the taste of chamomile ever again, to which Kuroko only shrugged. He could relate very much though. Well, at least Akashi got better before Christmas came. However, that was a whole different talk.
''Wait, you're staying here for Christmas?'' the tealnet asked surprised in the afternoon of the 24th when both of the males were once again talking over tea. ''You do know that you can leave for the holidays, right?''
''Yes, I'm aware of that, but I see no reason to,'' Akashi simply answered. His throat was still slightly sore, but it wasn't nearly as bad as a few days ago. ''In fact, I'm glad that I don't have to be at home.''
''But... don't you have anyone you would want to spend Christmas with?''
''Not really.''
Kuroko lightly hummed and twirled the warm cup repeatedly in his hands. Well, it wasn't as if here, in the sanitarium, Christmas wasn't celebrated by some means, but Kuroko hadn't yet been at his workplace on this particular holiday, so he wasn't sure what exactly went on. Besides, he somehow doubted Akashi would want to take part in that.
''And you?'' the patient suddenly asked, sounding rather nonchalant, though Kuroko managed to catch a hint of genuine curiosity and something... else. ''Will you spend the holidays with your family?''
''...Not exactly,'' the caretaker murmured in response. ''It's a bit... complicated. My father is working abroad and my mother... Let's just say I don't really have a family to celebrate with.''
''It seems we're in the same boat,'' Akashi chuckled dryly with audible bitterness, but he quickly covered it up with a cough and an unreadable expression overtook his features. ''Then, if I may ask, what are your plans?''
The tealnet hesitated on answering. When Akashi said he wouldn't be leaving for Christmas, a strange idea began brewing inside his mind, though he was rather doubtful about it for a few reasons. Should he try?..
''...I said that I'm not exactly going to celebrate Christmas with my family. However...'' The tealnet bit his lower lip and lifted his eyes to the patient in front of him. ''Akashi-san, since you don't have any plans for tomorrow, would you like to accompany me in visiting my mother?''
''Your mother?'' the redhead repeated rather surprised.
''Yes, she's... not very far from here. But no, scratch that, you shouldn't go,'' Kuroko shook his head and sighed. ''You just got better from you sickness, you can't risk falling ill again. I'm sorry for suggesting this.''
''I wouldn't actually mind getting sick again if I would have you as my caretaker,'' the words slipped out of the patient's mouth without him realizing it. When he did, however, he himself seemed quite surprised. After a moment Akashi turned his head to the side from the taken aback tealnet in front of him and leaned back in his chair, trying to cover his words up with an impassive expression, though it wasn't great. ''What I meant to say was that you needn't worry so much, I would be fine. And I will be, since I don't mind accompanying you tomorrow.''
Even if the patient tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, Kuroko's sensitive hearing didn't miss that rather obvious tone of awkwardness. It was quite clear that Akashi felt rather uncomfortable after the tealnet witnessed his weak side, Kuroko supposed he never let anyone know that part of him. But the caretaker understood him perfectly and wasn't planning on pushing it. If Akashi will ever want to open up, he will.
''Well, if you're sure...'' Kuroko murmured a bit uncertainly.
The tealnet later asked whether Akashi wanted to get out of his room and join the others in celebrating Christmas Eve, but the redhead replied with a simple 'no', just as Kuroko expected. So in the end, since the patient said he didn't mind, Kuroko stayed with him until late evening, lightly chatting to pass the time. Sure, that mainly was to keep Akashi company, but, if truth be told, deep inside the caretaker himself didn't wish to be alone this evening. It was supposed to be a holiday after all and Kuroko didn't want to spend it by himself. And Akashi was enjoyable company for him. At one point the tealnet brought some delicious fresh cookies from the kitchen to have at least something to eat and the pair chatted over them about all sorts of things, starting from basketball and ending with books. Neither of them touched more personal topics and Kuroko was fine with that. Truthfully speaking, he was actually mentally preparing himself to tell Akashi his story, that was the reason the tealnet invited him to meet his mother. The caretaker figured that if he would be the first to approach this topic, maybe it would be easier for Akashi to open up. It was just a hunch, but Kuroko couldn't get the thought that the patient needed more help. For that, however, he would need to learn about his troubles.
It was quite an early morning when Kuroko exited his apartment. Light snow was gently falling from the white sky, painting everything in sight with its color. The town was decorated with colorful lights and ornaments, creating the right Christmas atmosphere. Almost no one was out at this hour, since most probably were either sleeping or spending this holiday with their family and friends. Not that Kuroko minded. In fact, it was rather peaceful strolling through the quiet city and taking in the atmosphere. He even momentarily forgot what awaited him later that day.
Trying to push down his anxiousness, the caretaker knocked on the patient's room door softly just in case he was still asleep. However, that was soon proven otherwise when Akashi from the other side shortly gave the permission to enter. After taking a deep breath and exhaling, Kuroko entered the room.
''Good morning, Akashi-san, did you sleep well?'' he asked as soon as he was in and closed the door behind him.
''Yes, thank you,'' the patient answered momentarily stopping making his bed. ''And you?''
''Me as well,'' Kuroko cast a small smile in his direction and moved closer. By then Akashi's bed was all tidied up and both males sat on the edge of it. The caretaker with his observant eyes noticed that for some reason the redhead was feeling slightly nervous, since he kept most likely unconsciously fiddling with the end of his shirt and shifting from one side to the other. If truth be told, it was rather adorable seeing Akashi in this state, though Kuroko quickly dismissed that thought.
''Before I lead you to breakfast,'' the caretaker started once more and gently placed the small box he had with himself on Akashi's lap. ''I wanted to greet you. Merry Christmas, Akashi-san.''
''Oh, you got me a gift?..'' the redhead spoke curiously as he slowly examined the box with his hands and untied the ribbon. After fidgeting a bit with it he finally managed to open it and carefully took out the item from it. As Akashi touched it from all sides, a slightly confused expression appeared on his features. ''This is a...''
''Dream catcher,'' Kuroko finished his sentence, noticing that the patient wasn't quite aware of such a thing. ''They say that if you hang it above your bed, it catches all the bad dreams, leaving you with nothing but good ones.''
''Oh, is that so? How thoughtful of you,'' Akashi lightly chuckled and turned to the tealnet besides him with a small smile on his lips. ''Thank you.''
''I just hope it helps,'' Kuroko returned the gesture, knowing the other would be able to sense the tiny smile in his voice. He was about to stand up, but the sudden voice of his patient stopped him.
''Wait,'' Akashi quickly said and Kuroko could hear an almost inaudible hint of anxiousness.
The tealnet turned to the redhead and looked at him curiously. Akashi seemed to be slightly hesitating, but soon began reaching out for his drawer.
''I also have something for you,'' he spoke as firmly as he could, though his voice still wavered a bit. He took out a small white bag from the drawer and turned back to the caretaker. ''Give me your hand.''
Feeling slightly taken aback, Kuroko complied and placed his hand into Akashi's extended one. The patient then took out the small object from inside the bag and carefully placed it around Kuroko's wrist. With the help of his other hand, Akashi snapped the accessory in place and backed away.
''Here, I hope you'll like it. It didn't exactly know your taste, so I sort of improvised,'' the redhead spoke slightly awkwardly, waiting for the other's reaction.
''You... got this for me?'' Kuroko's voice sounded evidently surprised as he examined the beautiful bracelet closer. He gently went over the complicated twists, small metal rings and a pair of tiny wings in the middle with the tip of his fingers when a thought brewed inside his head. ''Did you...?''
''Yes, at least I tried, though I'm not sure whether it turned out to your liking...'' the redhead mumbled, nervously nibbling on his lower lip. Suddenly he ran his hand through his locks and sighed. ''I'm sorry, maybe it's a bit too womanly, I just didn't know what else to do...''
''Akashi-san,'' Kuroko cut him off as he suddenly took the patient's free hand, slightly startling him. A warm smile played on his lips as he continued. ''It's perfect. I love it, Akashi-san, thank you.''
Without warning the caretaker embraced the redhead as to emphasize his words. He could feel how Akashi immediately stiffened, but after a moment slowly relaxed. After hesitating for a few seconds, he carefully lifted his arms and cautiously returned the gesture, as if testing the new waters. In Kuroko's book, this was huge progress and he couldn't help but feel overjoyed. However, he still decided not to push it too much and slowly backed away after a few more seconds. He shouldn't try his luck too much.
''Alright, we should now head to breakfast. If you don't mind, could we leave immediately afterwards?''
''Okay.''
Even though Kuroko said that his mother wasn't too far, it was still quite a long trip. Half and hour to reach the city and an hour to travel to the city's outskirts where his mother was at. The caretaker was a bit anxious that Akashi would get bored easily, but the latter assured him that it was definitely nothing. However, it wasn't until they got into the second bus, the one heading to their destination, that the patient finally approached the important question.
''If I may ask, where exactly are we headed to?'' Akashi spoke, carefully listening to any kind of indication of emotions from his caretaker as they took their seats near the end of the bus.
''You might as well,'' Kuroko shrugged and leaned back, trying to appear as blank as possible. ''My mother is at a psychiatric hospital just outside the city.''
Silence enveloped them after that. Akashi figured it must have been something similar, but, honestly speaking, he didn't know how to reply. Of course, he was certainly interested, but it was obvious that there was some personal story behind this and he didn't want to push Kuroko. However, the patient wasn't quite sure whether the caretaker wanted to share it or not, so he might as well ask.
''I... see. If you... want to elaborate, I'll listen, but if you don't, I won't force you,'' Akashi spoke carefully, hoping he wouldn't upset the other. He was quite unfamiliar with such things after all.
''...Let's leave that for a later time,'' Kuroko responded a bit distantly, slightly tightening his grip on the bag he was holding. He still needed more time to gather his thoughts.
''If you say so,'' Akashi hummed in response, understanding the obvious hint. ''Whenever you're ready.''
The rest of the ride was quite silent. For some reason it was quite hard to strike a conversation for either of the males. After Akashi's question Kuroko was feeling a bit awkward, since earlier he told himself that he'll tell him about his past, but when actually asked, he couldn't. As if that rock on his heart was preventing him from opening it up. The tealnet has told this story to only a couple of people in the past, but every time it's very hard to keep himself under control. He didn't enjoy reliving his childhood, not at all. It was far more easier to just pretend everything was fine and to ignore that heavy rock. If he didn't think about it, maybe he could trick himself into believing it isn't there. But for Kuroko to tell someone about his past he had to fully feel the sinking weight. That's the reason why he was so hesitant.
Finally the bus arrived in front of their destination. Seeing that, Kuroko quietly announced to Akashi that they're leaving and both of them got off the vehicle. The rather large facility not far from them had a different design from the sanitarium, since it closely resembled a regular hospital, only accessing it was slightly more difficult. You needed to acquire permission first in order to enter its halls. Luckily, Kuroko was certainly not a stranger, so he was familiar with this process.
The pair finally reached the lobby, but, instead of heading directly to the register, the caretaker lead Akashi a bit further away from it to where a few couches were at.
''Could you wait here for a bit, Akashi-san? I need to check a few things first. I'll also leave this here.''
''Okay,'' the patient answered nonchalantly and carefully took a seat on the nearest couch, placing the cane right next to him, but never letting go.
After glancing at the redhead one more time and placing the bag next to him Kuroko quickly walked away towards the register. It was far enough to be out of Akashi's earshot and the male silently wondered whether that was intentional.
''Good morning,'' the caretaker greeted the woman behind the desk, who was writing something seemingly very focused. Naturally, because of that, Kuroko's sudden appearance startled her quite a bit and the pen almost flew out of her hand. Luckily, she managed to control herself before that happened and looked up to meet the tealnet.
''Ah, Kuroko-kun, long time no see,'' the woman spoke with a smile, though slight distress was still audible in her voice. ''How is your work at the sanitarium going?''
''Quite well I'd say,'' the caretaker answered with a shrug.
''That's good then. And when are you planning to end you break?''
''Most likely somewhere by the end of January.''
''I see. Is there anything I could help you with then?''
''Actually, a couple of things,'' Kuroko spoke, now sounding a bit more serious. ''First of all, could you please check whether my mother is in the right condition to be visited at the moment?''
''Give me a second,'' the woman hummed and quickly began typing on her computer. After a bit she turned away from it and directed her attention back to the tealnet. ''Yes, it seems she has been given her morning medicine and is acting normally. You can go and visit her.''
''Great. And about that,'' Kuroko turned slightly to the side and looked at the redhead a bit further away from them. ''I brought someone along with me today. That won't cause any problems, correct?''
''If he's with you, then no, I don't think it will,'' the woman answered a bit uncertain. ''But who is he? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen him here before.''
''He's one of my patients from the sanitarium.''
''But never before have you brought anyone from there. What makes him so special?''
''Well...'' Kuroko murmured slightly uncomfortably. ''I have a couple of reasons, but I don't really want to explain right now.''
''A-Ah, yes, of course,'' she stuttered, instantly reading the mood. It was best not to pry.
''I'll be going then, thank you,'' the tealnet nodded politely.
''Have a nice time. Merry Christmas to you!''
''Merry Christmas to you too.''
After those words Kuroko left the register and went back to the waiting patient. They still had a lot of time, so there was no rush. However, as the meeting with his mother grew closer Kuroko couldn't help but feel anxiousness piling up in the pit of his stomach, especially with Akashi next to him. Honestly, even though she had taken her medicine today, the tealnet feared what could her reaction be. Maybe he was simply too paranoid, but he couldn't help himself. When around his mother Kuroko had to be very careful not to somehow tick her off. And there were a lot of triggers to that.
Finally the caretaker quietly announced that they arrived and stopped in front of a certain door, identical to many others in the same hall. Only it's number was different. However, Kuroko didn't enter immediately.
''Could you give me a moment?'' he asked with a tint of distress audible in his voice. That little detail didn't go unnoticed by Akashi and he, before Kuroko went closer to the door, grabbed the tealnet's arm. Startled, the caretaker looked back at his patient.
''Kuroko, calm down. Everything will be okay,'' the redhead spoke smoothly, though firmly nonetheless. ''You're too tense. I doubt your mother would enjoy seeing you like this.''
''I... Okay, you're right,'' Kuroko sighed and shook his head. He needed to get ahold of his emotions.
Without a word Akashi released his arm and slightly backed away, giving the other some space. From the way the tealnet was acting it wasn't hard to guess that he felt quite anxious about this visit, maybe partly because Akashi was here as well.
After pondering for a moment Kuroko finally took out a certain card from his pocket and swiped it across the machine next to the door, thus unlocking it. Even so, he knocked a couple of times on it before opening it. He walked inside the room, leaving the door open, and, when his eyes caught the woman of his focus on her bed, he spoke, trying to mask his slight anxiety.
''Hello, mother, it's me,'' Kuroko's voice was so dull it honestly surprised Akashi. Just a moment ago he could clearly hear hints of distress and now there was nothing. ''I brought someone with me today to visit you, I hope you don't mind.''
After those words he walked back and tugged on Akashi's coat to silently tell him to follow him. With that the pair now went inside the room together. The place wasn't as spacious as the rooms back at the sanitarium, but it was nice nonetheless. It closely resembled a hospital's ward, only it was a bit more welcoming and warm. However, the atmosphere itself was quite cold and uncomfortable due to the woman's dull aura. She was seated in her bed with a few white pillows supporting her and was now staring at the pair of males entering the room with her empty eyes.
''This is a friend of mine, Akashi Seijuurou,'' Kuroko introduced the redhead besides him, carefully searching his mother's features for any kind of negative reaction.
''It's a pleasure to meet you, Kuroko-san,'' Akashi spoke on his own behalf and bowed to the woman.
''Fr...iend?'' she suddenly spoke in a hushed voice. Even though it was empty as if a robot's, Akashi managed to catch a strange tune in it, which was somehow unsettling. And it seemed that Kuroko heard that too, only he understood what it was. His breath slightly hitched at it before he answered.
''H-He's a patient under my care at the sanitarium I work in,'' the tealnet stuttered a bit, even though he had tried his best to control his voice. Distress was once again audible. ''He said he wasn't going anywhere for Christmas, so I thought he could accompany me today. It's been such a long time since you've seen anyone different after all, I thought maybe you'd enjoy that.''
As the woman remained silent, Kuroko began undressing his coat and Akashi soon followed suit. After the caretaker hung both of their coats in the small wardrobe, he walked over the cabinet besides his mother's bed and took out a box from the bag he was carrying and placed it on top of the furniture.
''Speaking of which, I remember you always enjoyed cherry pie, so I tried baking it as a Christmas present. I hope it turned out okay, I attempted baking it a few times to make sure, but I'm still not certain...'' Kuroko grew quieter by the end. He pondered a bit in his spot before glancing back at the redhead. ''Akashi-san, you can come here. There's a seat on the other side of the bed.''
Complying, the patient carefully made his way around the bed and settled in next to it after placing his cane against the nearby wall. He felt a bit out of place here, but there wasn't anything he could do at this point.
''I'm sorry that I was absent for quite awhile... My mind was around other things,'' Kuroko continued speaking as he himself sat down on a chair on the opposite side of the bed. His mother never lifted her dull eyes from the tealnet and didn't say anything else. It gave the impression that she wasn't completely there, but Kuroko ignored that and proceeded speaking normally. ''I hope they've been treating you well in the time I was gone.''
The caretaker continued talking to the woman as if to any other person only without any response. He spoke about all sorts of things: the news, the weather, the decorations around town, his father, some sort of teashop, even Midorima and his relationship with Takao. Akashi commented here and there or answered any occasional questions, but during this one-sided talk he noticed something. Out of all the things Kuroko didn't mention a single thing about himself. Nothing about his own personal life. At first the redhead thought that maybe that was because of his presence, but after awhile Akashi, based on how open the tealnet was, deducted that Kuroko didn't mind him at all. There must have been another reason for that then, since Akashi always imagined that when meeting your parents you at least say something about yourself, but no such thing happened here.
However, after awhile Kuroko's talk was interrupted. Some woman, most likely a nurse, suddenly entered the room and announced that the tealnet was summoned. Something about some sort of paperwork that needed to be fixed. It seemed that in the time he was gone a bit of trouble arose that had to be taken care of as soon as possible.
''Ah, I see, okay,'' Kuroko nodded and stood up. However, a tint of worry painted his features as he glanced back at the two other people in the room. ''I'm very sorry, but it seems I'll have to leave you two alone for a bit. I really hope you won't mind it too much.''
''It's alright. We'll be fine,'' Akashi assured him.
After pondering for a moment the tealnet finally exited the room, leaving the pair in silence.
If truth be told, Akashi had no idea what he was supposed to do now. By how that nurse sounded it seemed that Kuroko had quite a lot of work to do, which meant that Akashi was stuck here for who knows how long. And it didn't look as if his mother was much up for a conversation. The patient realized that he didn't even know her name.
However, the male's thought were interrupted when he heard his messenger suddenly vibrate. Inwardly sighing in relief that he'll be able to get out of this situation for just a bit, Akashi was beginning to get up when the silent until now woman suddenly grabbed his arm, locking him in place. The redhead was certainly startled, but didn't move anywhere, fearing he may somehow mess up.
''Kuroko-san? Is something the matter?'' he asked a bit worriedly.
''I'm sorry...'' the woman spoke in the same hushed voice, though this time it's tone was completely different. It sounded almost as if she was pleading, though struggling to form words. Akashi was so taken aback by how desperate she seemed that it even clenched something in his chest. ''Tell him... Please...''
''You're... you're talking about your son, correct?'' the redhead asked carefully, sitting back down. By how the grip on his arm tightened he assumed that was the correct guess. ''Okay, I'll tell him, don't worry.''
Gently the male loosened the woman's grip and took her hand into his own, putting a second one above it. He was a bit surprised by how frail she seemed. As if she had been starving, even though Akashi was rather certain that wasn't the case. It actually reminded him of Kuroko's frame. He as well was skinnier than a healthy person should be. But that wasn't the only similarity. The woman's skin was also strangely similar to Kuroko's, so smooth and a bit colder than his own.
''Although I doubt he's angry with you in any way, even though I don't know the situation,'' Akashi found himself speaking further. ''And despite that I'm blind, I can clearly see that he cares for you very much. It's just how he is, so caring it's incredible,'' A light chuckle left the male's lips. ''I doubt I've ever met someone as him, honestly.''
After those words Akashi felt how the woman slightly pressed his hand, as if urging to continue. A thought shot through the redhead's mind at that. Perhaps she wishes to hear more about her son? That honestly made sense.
''You know, at first we didn't get along all that well,'' the patient continued, speaking the first things that came to his mind. ''I was simply very distrusting. I just couldn't believe someone could sincerely care for another without expecting anything in return. But through his actions your son managed to change my mind. I don't think I'd be too far from the truth if I said that he is the first person which made me actually believe I was cared for. Sure, he always covered it by saying it was merely his job, but recently I started doubting that. No caretakers acted the way he did. For example, one time we were out and it grew rather cold. So he actually gave his gloves to me, despite him being cold as well. Idiot,'' Akashi chuckled fondly and shook his head. ''Honestly. And that is only one of the examples.''
And the redhead continued giving them. He told the woman everything he remembered about his interactions with Kuroko with his own comments. At some point, without him even realizing, he drifted from retelling certain events and started talking about all sorts of details concerning the tealnet. For example, his favorite tea:
''Before he mentioned it, I never knew of chamomile tea, which is rather odd. He said he enjoyed it very much despite its a bit peculiar flavor, to which I can agree. But after drinking who knows how much of it while being ill I doubt I will ever forget that taste. Now I think that every time I will drink such tea in the future I will instantly remember your son. It turned out he has a very interesting taste. He also said that he enjoyed it because everytime he grew ill you would give it to him.''
Or his favorite drink:
''Honestly, he's already so weak and he stated his favorite drink was vanilla milkshake. No, he said that when the topic was meals, which is only that more concerning. From what I understood, his health isn't the best, so he of all people should stay away from such unhealthy drinks.''
Or the way he talked:
''I always found it amusing how careful he was while talking, especially to me. As if fearing he'd somehow upset the other person. I didn't even need to give any obvious hints for him to immediately understand the situation and change either the topic or his words. He's incredible at reading others, really. One of the traits why I find him so extraordinary.''
Gradually Akashi forgot he was talking to someone and only started recalling everything he knew about his caretaker. It honestly surprised him how much that was. Was he always keeping such attention to Kuroko? Or did he simply found him interesting from the very beginning, so he kept gathering information even subconsciously? Wait, what was their relationship now anyway? Kuroko earlier introduced Akashi as his friend... Were they actually friends?..
''Ah, I apologize,'' the male suddenly spoke, realizing he had been silent for quite awhile. ''I was lost in my own thoughts. Anyway, to summarize, your son is honestly something special. I'm certain you already knew that though, so I'm simply confirming that.''
The woman besides him was silent for a few moments after Akashi finished. The latter began wondering whether she was actually listening, but those thoughts were washed away when she suddenly lifted her free hand and gently cupped Akashi's face, slightly startling the male.
''I'm glad... Thank y-you...'' the woman spoke barely above a whisper, though even so gratefulness was audible.
''Of course,'' Akashi answered with a small smile.
Afterwards she removed her hand from the male's smooth skin and placed it next to her without another word. Soon the redhead realized that she had simply fallen asleep, most likely a side effect of some medicine. That was... strange. This woman was certainly interesting and now Akashi wanted to know the story behind all of this even more.
Soon after that the door opened once more and Kuroko finally came back. Needless to say, he was quite surprised when he saw Akashi holding his sleeping mother's hand somewhat deep in thought. What happened when he was gone?..
''Is she asleep?'' the tealnet asked in a hushed voice to just make sure as he made his way to them.
''Yes, I believe she is,'' Akashi hummed in response.
''Then... I suppose we can leave.''
With that the redhead caressed the woman's hand one time before letting it go and standing up. Soon enough both of them had their coats on and were ready to leave. They've been here for a few hours, so it was a rather decent visit. Still, Kuroko figured he should try visiting more frequently from now on.
After awhile the pair had finally left the building and were heading towards the bus station in silence, both in their own worlds, and it wasn't until they finally got on the bus and took a couple of seats in the far back did Kuroko speak:
''Say... Did you... talk anything to my mother?'' he asked slightly anxiously.
''I did actually,'' Akashi nodded and turned his head to the tealnet's direction before continuing. ''I actually told her about you.''
''Me?'' Kuroko repeated certainly surprised.
''Mhmm,'' the redhead lightly hummed in response. ''Which reminds me... At one point your mother asked me to tell you something. She wants you to know she's sorry.''
Those words clenched Kuroko's heart painfully. His breath got caught up in his throat and he couldn't answer for awhile. So his mother... Did she have a clearing of mind while he was gone? If she asked Akashi to tell him that... That meant...
''S-She did?'' the tealnet stuttered, not being able to fully control his emotions. He could feel how it was starting to sting his eyes.
''Yes. And, honestly speaking, she was very interesting in hearing about you. I think you should talk about yourself more often, she is your mother after all, so naturally she wants to know more about you,'' the patient continued, carefully listening to the other.
''Y-you think so? Perhaps... you could be right,'' Kuroko murmured, not trusting his voice enough to speak louder. By now hot tears began dwelling up and flooding his vision. It was such a long time ago since his mother actually wanted to know about him... And, she apologized? Did she apologize for everything that happened? Such thoughts only clenched his chest tighter and a couple of salty tears trailed his down cheeks. She apologized... So she didn't mean anything she had said?
Akashi was closely listening to the caretaker all this time and those hitched breaths honestly made him wonder and worry. Slowly he lifted one of his hands and hesitantly cupped the other's face, slightly startling him. The patient gently touched Kuroko's cheeks with his thumb and, after indeed sensing a trail of water, wiped the dwelling tears away.
''What's the matter?'' he asked softly with clear worry as he pulled back.
''I-It's nothing, I'm fine,'' Kuroko answered weakly as he himself quickly wiped away all the remaining tears. He took a couple of moments to compose himself and get his emotions under control. He didn't want to appear this way in front of Akashi after all.
''...Is now also not the right time?''
The patient's sudden question surprised the other. Was it?.. Could Kuroko finally muster up enough will power? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try...
''I suppose there won't be any harm in trying,'' the tealnet responded with a slight bitter smile, but it dropped immediately. ''Things... didn't start out this way, even if my mother in her current state without her medicine keeps telling it did. Not that she talks all that much these days, but that's not the point. But... it's a bit of a long story, I wouldn't want too bore you...''
''Don't think like that, you wouldn't. I'll listen to everything you have to say,'' Akashi replied firmly.
''Okay then...'' Kuroko murmured as if still unsure, but decided to continue. ''I suppose I should start from the beginning. It may sound bizarre, but my mother... she always told me this is all because I wasn't born a girl. Maybe there's some truth in that, I'm not sure anymore. You see, my mother all her life wanted a daughter. Sure, many know that they would either prefer a boy or a girl, but my mother's wish was even beyond that. As if her whole meaning would be based on whether she could have a daughter. So, naturally, she was quite disappointed when I was born. But she didn't neglect me or anything, no, she raised me like any other child, or at least did until three years passed and her wish finally came true – my sister was born. And oh, how she loved her. My father never had any preferences, but the deep love my mother felt for my sister most likely affected him as well, and even for him she became the favorite child. Yes, it's definitely safe to say that in my family my sister was the absolute favorite. Not that I minded it. Many would probably think that I should have started hating my sister or something, but it was nothing like that. I loved her, I really did. Such a sweet child she was, it was impossible not to. When I was little I could understand why my parents preferred her over me, to this day I understand. Always such a sweetheart, had so much love for the world, was always so cheerful, so positive. Anyone would chose her over me in a blink of an eye when I was always just... plain, nothing special, even worse, always so sickly and weak. But that's not what this is about. The point is my sister grabbed both of my parents' love from the moment she was born, but still, my mother loved her the most. She simply adored her. Even obsessed a little over her if I dare say that even though it's the truth. And, well, as a child I could clearly see that. It may not seem very important or something, but seeing how your mother loved the second child by many levels more than you, that she showered her with all sorts of gifts whenever she had the chance when you just sat there and watched, that she always asked how was her day and never yours... Well, to a child that's a bit...'' Kuroko sighed and shook his head. He had to take a few moments to compose himself for his voice to get back to normal and don't waver so much. ''Anyway. It wasn't as if I was completely pushed away or something like that though, no, I received care and everything, only it smaller portions. I tried not to show my empty feelings, since no one besides my sister would have cared so much and I didn't want to hurt her. I also thought that maybe if I hid away my negative emotions my mother would love me a bit more... That's why I never complained when my sister got a bigger cake on her birthday or when she got more goodnight kisses. I just tried to focus on what I had rather than what I could have had. Yes, sometimes the thought that only if I were a girl I would have had this much love as well did enter my mind, but I tried not to pay too much attention to it, it was no use after all. At least I wasn't completely neglected, at least I still had something, I kept telling that to myself every night. My sister deserved all this love more than me anyway. And it worked for awhile.
Then, things went completely downhill. The worst thing that could have happened happened. I was in my first class of middle school, yet I remember it so clearly. I don't know how it happened, I really don't. For many years after that I thought what I could have done to prevent it, but, again, it was no use in thinking. Time couldn't be reversed after all. It was all so fast. I went to my sister's grade school to pick her up, so we could go home together. I always did that just to make sure she got there safely, even though our home was so close by. But on our way back there was a street we needed to cross. Our parents always warned us to be careful and I really tried to be. I did all the necessary things, I looked at both sides, I took my sister's hand, so she wouldn't run out by herself, not that she would, and went. I could have sworn the street was empty, I have no idea from where that speeding car came from. Maybe somewhere around the corner and I didn't notice, I don't know. I was so busy listening to my sister, who talked about some lesson they had at school that day, so maybe I was too distracted to notice the speeding car, but, well, you can guess what happened next,'' Kuroko stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. He didn't quite see what was happening around him, it seemed as if he was reliving everything yet again, as how he did for many years later. ''Obviously, I survived. I didn't suffer any incredibly major injuries, just a few broken bones and fractured ribs, nothing that couldn't be fixed. But my sister... My sister wasn't as lucky. At first, she fell into a coma. We all prayed she would wake up, but, well, she never did. I mourned her of course, I was simply devastated. I felt so incredibly guilty that I couldn't protect her, that I was too distracted. We all mourned her death, but no one as much as my mother. She looked on the verge of dying herself. I could understand that, really. She loved her so much after all. My sister's death shocked her so much that over time she developed post-traumatic mental disorder, I'm sure you've heard about it. And since I loved my mother I tried to help her as much as I could, I really did.
But, umm,'' The tealnet stopped for a moment in order to get his voice back in control. ''I didn't. I probably just made it worse. She didn't talk for awhile, that's sometimes one of the traits of this disorder, but when she finally spoke... Of course, I should have expected this. Now that I think about it, it shouldn't have been as surprising. She always favored my sister after all. So, when my mother finally spoke... S-She asked why didn't I die instead of my sister. I could have been on the other side and the car would have hit me with full force instead of her. It was all my fault and everyone thought that, everyone would have been happier if I would have taken the full hit, that's what she said that day. She kept asking me w-why was I still alive when my sister wasn't anymore, why could I smile, laugh, cry when she couldn't, it wasn't fair,'' By this point Kuroko's voice was slightly trembling and he had difficulty keeping it at bay. He didn't want to remember those dark days, he always tried to shove them deep inside. Akashi could clearly hear the obvious distress in the tealnet's voice and he gained an idea. This probably wouldn't do much, but it would still be better than nothing. With that thought he carefully found one of Kuroko's hands, which was clenched tightly in a fist on his knee, and placed his own on top of it. The caretaker was taken aback by the sudden gesture, especially when Akashi started gently caressing his hand in a soothing manner. That, however, managed to calm him down and he relaxed his clenched hands, letting the redhead continue his actions. ''So as a child I came to a conclusion that perhaps showing those emotions that my sister once did was upsetting my mother more. I thought that maybe if I didn't show any of my feelings as if I was a robot, maybe she wouldn't hate me as much. Of course, now that I think back she probably didn't actually mean what she said nor did she hate me, it was simply her disorder talking, trying to find guilty ones for her sorrow. But that was hard to understand when I was a just a child. So I did the only thing I could – I tried hiding all emotions to my best abilities, at least when I was around her at first. But slowly it started affecting me further and after awhile that was the way I began acting around others as well.
For quite a lot of years I hoped that maybe if I seemed more robotic my mother would get better, but she never did. Gradually her disorder got out of control and she fell gravely mentally ill, even developed schizophrenia, for what she even needed to be hospitalized. I was just starting my last year in high-school then. When that happened I dropped everything I was doing after school in order to help out there. That's the reason why I chose studying nursing when I graduated. I always felt I held some responsibility for my mother's state, so I wished to be the one who tended to her needs. I actually work at the hospital she's in, but right now I'm taking a break. I will continue when your treatment ends,'' Kuroko finished with a stable voice now. He glanced at the redhead besides him and slight worry appeared in his features. ''Ah, I'm sorry that I rambled this much, I got a bit lost-''
However, he was cut off when Akashi suddenly embraced him, startling the tealnet. It was the first time the redhead did something of this caliber after all. He usually disliked physical contact and always tensed up when someone touched him. However, now he seemed rather relaxed and his body was barely stiff. From the surprise Kuroko froze in his position and simply waited for the patient to speak.
''Thank you for telling me your story. I appreciate you trusting me enough for this,'' Akashi spoke in a slightly hushed voice. ''I apologize that I don't know how to comfort you, I just never had any experience with it...''
''It's... fine,'' Kuroko murmured and slowly returned the hug, wrapping his arms around the other's torso. ''There's no need for that. It all happened such a long time ago after all...''
''That doesn't matter,'' the redhead responded firmly. ''You think of yourself too lowly. There's one point in your story that I dare to disagree on. You are certainly not plain or like any other average person. I have met a lot of people but never before have I come across someone as caring as you. Everyone else only looks out for themselves, never sincerely thinking about others. But recently I realized that you weren't like them. You seemed to honestly care for me, even when I...'' Akashi's words got caught up in his throat and he tightened his embrace, bringing the tealnet slightly closer in the process. ''I don't think I apologized to you properly... I'm... I'm so sorry for being so inconsiderate of you in the past. I was just so distrusting of others at that time that I failed to acknowledge your sincerity... I hope you can forgive me for that.''
''It's... it's okay, really,'' Kuroko answered in a weaker tone than he intended. ''I was never mad at you to begin with.''
''You should have been. I repeat, do not ever think lowly of yourself. You are far better than most people. You managing to break through even someone as myself is proof of that. I don't want to hear you saying you're not special ever again. I'm certain you've heard this many times, but you shouldn't blame yourself for anything, there was no way to know after all. And regarding your mother's words... I'm certain she didn't honestly mean them, and I, for one, am very glad you survived. So you don't need to pretend that you're okay around me anymore. You always tried to be so considerate and caring towards me, and it's my turn now. So if you ever feel upset or just need to talk, I'll always listen, Tetsuya.''
'''T-Tetsuya'?'' Kuroko stuttered surprised at how the other suddenly called him.
''Well, you did say we're friends earlier, did you not? And based on my knowledge on these things the fact that you shared your story with me only confirms that statement. I believe it's only appropriate to address you by your first name then,'' Akashi replied rather nonchalantly, even though a small smile was audible in his voice.
''Yes, I believe so. And if that's how you are, then okay,'' the tealnet chuckled softly.
''You are going to drop that formal honorific then, right?''
''Yes, I will, Akashi-kun,'' Kuroko smiled gently. The new honorific really painted the name a different color now. Changing the way they addressed each other was like proof of their deeper relationship, for what the caretaker was beyond glad. He buried his face in the other's shoulder as his grip around the redhead tightened and his body began slightly occasionally shaking.
''Tetsuya, is something the matter?'' Akashi asked worriedly at Kuroko's sudden change.
''N-No, no, everything is fine,'' the caretaker responded weakly, though a small smile painted his voice as a few wet drops reached the other's coat. ''I'm just... very glad. I don't know what you meant earlier, you are wonderful in comforting, really.''
''Oh, that's... good then,'' the patient murmured slightly awkwardly. He definitely didn't have any experience with things like these, so he didn't quite know how to react correctly.
''Thank you for that, Akashi-kun,'' Kuroko spoke a bit distantly, as if his mind was slowly drifting off. That didn't escape the redhead's notice.
''Are you tired, Tetsuya?''
A light hum came in response to Akashi's question, confirming it. Of course, that wasn't surprising. Kuroko had very little sleep these days after all, so no wonder he sounded exhausted. With that thought the patient pulled back, but didn't completely let go of Kuroko as he repositioned him, so that the tealnet would be leaning against his side. Without really thinking the caretaker placed his heavy head on the other's shoulder and closed his eyes.
''Then sleep, we still have a long way to drive,'' Akashi spoke softly.
''But won't you be uncomfortable?'' the tealnet murmured a bit unclearly.
''Not at all. Besides, it's partly my fault that you're so tired,'' the patient chuckled lightly and slightly shifted, trying not to disturb the other.
''Mhmm, if you say so,'' Kuroko mumbled and fell silent. It felt as if that rock was lifted from his heart, allowing him to finally breath easier. And now that the heavy weight was gone, the tealnet could feel exhaustion seeping in and he soon dozed off.
Akashi waited for a little while for the caretaker to drift away further before he himself gently leaned his head against Kuroko's. It was nice knowing he trusted him this much, even if Akashi thought he didn't deserve it. He should try making up to Kuroko for his past behavior somehow. That was what friends do after all, right?
''Merry Christmas, Tetsuya,'' Akashi whispered softly with a small smile on his lips.
