Chapter 9 : Goodbye

"Until your heart stops beating, Bella. I'll be here-fighting. Don't forget that you have options." - Jacob Black

Bella's pov

I cried at Edward's funeral. Obviously there wasn't a body, but no human except me here knew that. Just a closed, hard, empty casket. All that was left of my beloved. When it was lowered into the ground, I cried some more. I cried so hard then, that I fell to the ground, wracked with sobs and tears. Jacob bent beside me, trying to comfort me but nothing could stop the hurt of watching your eternal love killed before your very eyes.

Edward was truly gone. This wasn't a bad dream. I loved Jacob-so much that it hurt, but Edward was the one. I was slowly moving on but there would never be another that I would love the way I loved Edward. Never. My heart beat for Edward, but now that he's gone, I can tell the change. When it finally stops beating, who will know? Who will tell them? Edward is the only one who will know.

I trembled as I unfolded the paper that I had written just last night. With pen and paper, I wrote about a love story that could span centuries, more powerful than anything else.

"Edward was my love. My other half," I began. "When he was with me, I was complete. There was nothing that we wouldn't do for each other. Edward would die for me, and I for him. The world is a lonelier place without Edward, but the love I have from friends, family, and my Jacob, are enough to get me through each day. Edward made me promise him before he died, that I would love again. I've done just that. I love Jacob, and I also love Edward. His parting words keep me strong when I feel like giving up. He told me too, that if anyone ever asks me about him, I should tell them, he loved me, he loves me, and he is still loving day I live, I find that to be more true."

I looked up to the sky then. "Edward, I know you're in heaven now, smiling down at me. I'm trying to be brave for you. Not to cry. I love you Edward Cullen, and I will never ever forget you. I know you were sent to me."


"I've made my decision," I said to Jacob after the funeral on my way home.

"Which is?" Jacob asked in a somewhat strained voice.

"I'm going to become a vampire..."

The words hung in the air. Suspended in time. Jacob turned to me with tears in his eyes, "Bella, I love you so much. You are everything to me. Does that mean anything to you?"

"It does Jake. Because, I love you too," I said.

"But you still love him more don't you?" Jacob accused.

"I will always have a place in my heart for Edward but my heart belongs to you Jake. It's all yours. Edward is gone. The love I have for the both of you is equal. If that wasn't true, we wouldn't be together right now." I held his hand and he pulled the truck over. "I'm doing this because I need to. For me," I said softly.

"Don't rush your choice Bella. Think about this. It's permanent. If you change, it's over between us Bells."

I felt my stomach lurch at the thought of losing Jacob. Jacob brushed my hair back softly and kissed me. I kissed him back eagerly, needing release. I needed to forget the world for a while. Jacob pulled away from me and gave me a sexy smile.

"Easy there Bells," he said with a small laugh then his expression became serious. "Until your heart stops beating, Bella. I'll be here-fighting. Don't forget that you have options."

Without another word and one short kiss, Jacob left me to think twice about this crucial decision.


I walked slowly, almost zombie-like up to the Cullen's front door. This time, Carlisle opened the door.

"Hello Bella. Come inside," Carlisle said kindly. I followed Carlisle inside and took a seat in the living room. Everyone came downstairs and stood in the room and the atmosphere was slightly tense.

"I've reached my decision," I began slowly. "I love all of you so much. You're family to me. I'm very grateful I've gotten to know all of you. To become a vampire and be accepted into your coven is truly an honour...But I can't do it. I could never leave Jacob. After all that we've been through. Life is already too long without Edward by my side. I don't think I could live forever without him."

"It's okay Bella," Carlisle said. "Thank you for staying with us through this difficult time. We're leaving tomorrow so I'll just let you sign the paperwork before you leave."

I don't know exactly why, but I started to cry then. I realised whenever I formed a bond with people, it hurt me a lot to say goodbye. I stood up shakily and one by one I hugged the Cullens goodbye, each with their own parting words:

Esme: Goodbye Bella, we'll always remember you.

Rosalie: Bye Bella. Just so you know, I've never hated you and I'm going to miss you.

Emmett: Bye sis. One day when your old and gray, I'll make sure to visit you.

Carlisle: Goodbye Bella, we'll be seeing you soon. From time to time we'll drop by to say hello. Through every stage of your life we'll be there. We're only a phone call away.

As I stepped out the door, I looked back at the Cullen's with admiration. I memorized each face clearly and put them away in my heart close to Edward. But one thing was evident. In their deep amber eyes, I saw a lot of sadness. They had to hold everything inside of them, because vampires couldn't cry.


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