I didn't get much sleep last night with the nurses coming in every hour. I suppose they were on suicide patrol, even though I would never literally kill myself but they don't know that. My arm itches like hell from the I V they have stuck in me. I can't itch it either because Spencer is laying my other arm. I know if I move it she will wake up and I want her to sleep. She looks so peaceful, she has a little grin on her face that makes me wonder what she is dreaming.
I hear a knock at my door then it cracks open and there Aiden stands staring at me. His eyes are glazed over with tears and sleep. I know he has been worried about me but I can't help him with that I am still mad at him for what he did. I know I called him and played his guilt against him which made him feel more at fault for me being in here. He starts to take tiny steps into my room never losing eye contact with me he scared I can see it.
Hey he stops at the foot of the bed
What do you want Aiden? His eyes fell to his hands which were fiddling with the water container.
I just wanted to see if you ok, I'm so sorry Ash!
I didn't say anything just looked over at Spencer who was beginning to wake. What can I say to him I don't forgive him and I don't understand why he would do this to me? I guess I can accept his apology but it won't solve anything.
Ashley please you have to talk to me you can't just ignore me!
What do I say Aiden, ok I know your sorry and I'm sure you feel like shit but I can't help you with that you did this you. I was starting to get upset I was shaking, I felt Spencer move and sit up she was shocked to see Aiden here.
Why are you here Aiden? I think you should leave she says to him
Why me you did this too not just me? He's getting defensive I know Aiden to well he feels like he's being picked on.
Because she's not ready to see you look at her Aiden! She says pointing toward me
I just sit there shaking my head watching them try to protect me from each other when in reality I just want to be away from them both. I need to be the one to protect myself from them the drugs and myself.
A nurse walks in I buzzed her to come while they were bickering I needed a shower and to pee. The nurse smiles and comes to my side helping me up. How about I leave you to alone? I say getting up
Spencer stands up and comes to try to help me
I got it Spence! I say to her
What are you doing Ash?
I have to shower some time Spence an I overdosed it's not like I had brain surgery! I say to her with a smile trying to assure her I was ok.
I stop in front of Aiden looking at him trying to read him thanks for coming Aiden I do appreciate it but right now I can't do this ok.
Ok Ash just get better please and call me when your ready I want us to be friends again.
I nod my head and begin to walk again, my feet feel funny I still feel weak from the drugs as I walk I can feel myself leaning more and more on the nurse. She gets me in and I sit down on the toilet.
I got it from here
Are you sure I can stay and help you
No I got it
She nods and walks out leaving me alone finally. I stand holding myself up at the sink; I can't help but look at my reflection in the mirror. I look old ware out I should look lively like a 24 year old rockstar who is married to a beautiful women but here I am a 24 year old drug addicted rockstar who is married to a cheater.
I laugh to myself "I'm no better then her"
I'm rattled out of my thoughts by the desire to have hot water running on my body. I reach behind me to undo the tie that is holding my ass showing nightgown up. A weak sensation racks my arms and I feel weak my fingers fall from the tie and come back to my front.
"Fuck" I scream!
I take a deep breath and try again, I see the door crack open and Spencer walks in meeting my eyes. She sees the frustration on my face and steps forward into my back pushing my hand away. She unties my nightgown and slides it off my shoulders letting it hi the ground.
I look at her in the mirror she is already staring back at me eyes full of want. I feel her hands touching the side of my waist, the smell of her a mint she must have just ate on her breath. I close my eyes and let out a sigh biting my lower lip then shaking my head.
Ash I hear her call me look at me
I open my eyes; they immediately find hers there filled with tears now all the pain that has been caused the last year is finally surfacing in her. She is filled with anger and disappointment it's all pointed at me I can handle that but it's what she wants right now that scares me.
Spencer we can't do this now
Yes we can
No I can't not now, not when you are hurting
It will take it away!
No it will only hide it!
She bows her head and kisses my shoulder taking a step away, she reaches for the nozzle and turns the shower on. She starts to take her clothes off
Spencer I …
Shhh… she says putting her finger to her mouth and smiling I only want to help you!
I smile at that and walk towards her leaning into her meeting her lips. I pull back before anything heated happens, which makes her groan a little. I smile and step in the shower
i know it's short but not a lot of time time write these days so i hope you like a shower scene is next whoooo
