You should have told her Jacek. She deserved better from you. She is our only daughter.
I can't, she wouldn't believe me. I loved you more than anything in this world, my love, she won't understand.
Then you should tell her why you didn't come back for them. She will understand. She has been hurt more than you know. You never told her what happened to me and it's time Jacek.
I was a coward to them. You're the only one who had ever believed in me, my love.
I still believe in you Jacek. Give our daughter some hope. Give her what she has wanted, and needed all her life. She has lost so much.
What do I say to her my love? How will I convince her that I do, indeed love her.
Return to her world Jacek. Don't leave her like this. Return, return.
I love you, my darling, I will love you forever my love. Goodbye dearest, goodbye... Hey? do they have any shops where you are? I could really…………………….
Jacek!
Going, going.
The doctor had checked Jacek's vitals and they were improving slightly. He informed Col Mitchell that Jacek was out of immediate danger and his recovery would be forthcoming. However; Vala was having a tough time fighting her fever. The Doctor diagnosed that she pushed herself too much before she had a chance to really heal and heading back to earth would give her a chance to survive. Col Mitchell put in a call to Dr. Lam on Vala's condition and she informed him that they would be ready when she arrived. It would be several hours before they returned to base. Daniel was still sitting by Vala's bedside when he was informed of Vala's worsening condition. He couldn't believe that she was lying here earlier and healing, and now that her father had saved her life twice, she still was in danger. Col Mitchell, Sam and Teal'c had kept a close eye on Jacek, hoping he would wake up and maybe have a chance to speak to him about Vala. When he finally came around, he was disoriented to where he was, then with somewhat painful awakening, he remembered, yet he had a sense of something was wrong.
"Oh, wincing in pain slightly, 'that was one heck of a fire fight. Anyone get the name of that cruiser that hit me?"
"Ah, Jacek, you're awake, said Mitchell. How are you feeling?
"Fine, considering I was shot in the chest by that maniac. Whe- where is Vala? Is she alright?" Slightly raising up and feeling more pain.
"Easy Jacek. She's in the infirmary a few bays down. She has a fever that won't go away. We are headed back to earth. It will be a few hours before we return."
"Oh, ow, let me see her. I- I need to tell her something, something important."
"Easy Jacek, you'll hurt yourself. She's unconscious Jacek, she won't be able to hear you. Now lay back before you injure yourself more."
"No, no, ow, no Col Mitchell. I've got to see my little girl. She needs to hear what I have to say. It may help her. I – I know I've been a pain to everyone, but, just this once, please let me see her. I promise no theatrics."
"Let me clear it with the Doctor first Jacek. If we have to wheel you next to her, we will. Lie still and I'll be right back. Sam and Teal'c will be outside if you need anything."
"Thank you Colonel. It will be time well spent." Said Jacek.
I promise my love. I will tell her everything. Everything.
The Doctor had cleared Jacek to see Vala, reluctantly, knowing her condition. He was not sure that Jacek's visit would do any harm, and Col Mitchell had convinced him that Vala probably needed to hear her father before something worse could happen. Sam, Teal'c and Col Mitchell moved Jacek's bed into Vala's room. Daniel was curious as well as the rest of his team, what Jacek was trying to do. Jacek turned to his side, straining to see Vala face. She was pale and sweaty and the Doctor had informed Jacek that it was difficult to keep her fever down. He needed to say what he needed and let Vala rest. Daniel refused to leave Vala's side while his teammates waited outside the infirmary.
Vala was caught in another dream. Her fever was spiking and ugly nightmares from her Quetesh days were being dredged up.
Ah, that was lovely my dear. Your thirst for blood against that creature was most unusual. You seem to relish in her death, sweet one. Did you so despise her that you have no tears for her?
She deserved what she got. I did not love that witch. She betrayed me a long time ago. You are responsible for the rest. One day I will be free of you and you will pay also.
Such anger sweet one. I gave you the opportunity to slay your enemy. I will not relinquish you. I will keep you until you are no longer useful or whither away; it does not matter to me. You enjoyed her death, more than I could. I'd say you are paying for your lust for hate.
You do not know me. I don't like killing. I abhor it. You won't control me. I see what you can do. I won't enslave others.
Oh, but you will sweet one. I will make you see all that I am capable of and more. You will be my instrument of power. You're people will hate you, not me. I will make you feel pain that you could never get away from. You feel what I feel, pleasure, pain, power. You cannot deny your destiny.
I will, I will not hurt anyone. You can't make me. I will not submit to you. I will not be your slave.
You already are sweet one. You already have. Hush, now; I have a much to do. You must go away for awhile, then I will bring you back to see what you have wreaked. Go, I tire of you.
Noooo, noooooo. I didn't do this, no, Nooooo.
Jacek and Daniel could see Vala was in distress from her nightmares. They wondered what could be so terrible that she would cry out as if in terrible pain. Her father, with Daniel's help sat up slightly to move closer to his daughter's bed.
"Vala, Vala listen to me. I know you must be in pain. I know that I haven't been there for you or your brother. But I spoke to your mother today and she misses you both. I- I don't know what happened to your brother Vala, or even Adria, but that doesn't matter."
Daniel noticed that Jacek seemed to be searching for words to say to Vala. Vala had calmed down slightly, but it was quite evident she was still very feverish.
"Keep going Jacek. I think she hears you, said Daniel. If it's important about what you feel about your daughter, she will listen."
Jacek nodded and looked over to his daughters face and could see she had indeed quite thrashing about from the fever. He swallowed, looked up to the ceiling as looking for guidance and continued.
"I want to tell you why I didn't return to you and your brother after your mother died. She would never forgive me, if I didn't tell you the whole story. Jacek hesitated, but looked within himself to be honest to his daughter. Your mother had taken ill suddenly, and I was…………….I was scarred to death that she might die. I- I was a coward Vala. I should have stayed and took care of your mother, but I couldn't bare to see her so ill. I know it's no excuse and I don't expect you to forgive me, but your mother………….your mother was the dearest, sweetest, most delightful person I ever met. She loved me unconditionally and she never saw my weaknesses, she only saw me. She saw all my faults and broken promises to her and you kids. She even knew before she married me what I was…………………. I – I was nothing but dreams, a hope chest that would always be empty, but she loved me anyway. Your moth………your mother was a saint, she never raised her voice, said a bad thing about anyone. She was so full of life and wonderment. She was just like you Vala; beautiful, strong and oh, so stubborn at times. She refused to let me help her while she was ill. She told me I had better things to do than sit around and watch her die…………………. She was like that."
Jacek was trying not to tear up, remembering his dear wife. Vala reminded him so much of her than sometimes it was unbearable to be around Vala.
She had to leave you Vala and your brother, so you would not see her die. She had taken ill quickly and there was no cure for her. She had no friends because of me. They……….they thought of me as a looser, a thief and no one would associate with her because of that. When I found out how soon she died, I ………….I couldn't remain in the city anymore. I – I grieved for her the only way I knew how. I left you and your brother in the care of the one person that had befriended your mother. I- I knew you would be alright, so I mourned. I mourned your mother until I was brave enough to come back. My………..my heart was broken Vala. I didn't mean to be away for so long, but I lost track of time and when I did come back. I had promised your mother……………I had promised your mother I would take you both with me. Things didn't work out that way. So I thought you and your brother would be better off if I married someone and they took care of you better than I did. So I married Adria and, and, I know you were angry at me, but it's the only thing I could think of at the time. She wasn't such a bad women, was she? I mean when I did come back, both you and your brother were all smiles and you looked healthy. I – I knew you had your mother's strength in you Vala, so I did the best I could under the circumstances. I wanted to be rich; so I could take care of you and your brother properly. That's why I traveled the galaxy. I was going to make a fortune in Naquadah and give you and your brother everything and make you happy."
Jacek winced a little still weak from his surgery and Daniel noticed he was tiring a bit.
"Jacek; you need to rest. It won't do you any good if you injure yourself some more and Vala would never forgive us, if we didn't take care of you. After all, you are her father." Daniel said smiling, trying to let Jacek know he was in his corner about what he was doing. He had seen a side of Jacek he had not the opportunity or any one else he thought to see. If only Vala was awake he thought. She could hear the sincerity and love he wanted to convey.
"No, no I need to finish this or I won't have the courage to say it again. Please let me finish speaking to her."
Daniel couldn't deny his request. Daniel figured that Jacek had had this on his conscious for a long time and it was now or never. He believed that the same thing was happening to Vala and his wife. That they were dying and he didn't want to miss the chance to say he loved them, very much. With Daniel's help, he sat up, a little stronger and continued to speak to Vala's sleeping form.
"Vala I did return to see your brother and you and no one would speak to me. They acted like you and your brother disappeared off the face of the earth. No one knew where Adria went or her children and …………..and I was afraid something terrible had happened to all of you. So I left the planet after no one would say anything to me, as if they were frightened to speak of you or Adria. So I left knowing wherever you and your brother were, that you would be strong and take care of him. How I missed you and your brother. How I missed your mother. I couldn't return to our homeworld because it brought back to many bad memories and I didn't want to think of any bad memories. I wanted to always believe that you and your brother were safe and playing and doing the thinks kids do. I use to think children gave you grief, but when I finally saw you, years down the road. I – I saw your mother and I guess I…………I went on the defense. I couldn't be around you long, it was too painful. You look identical to your mother, it's uncanny. I guess it's my punishment for abandoning her when she needed me most. I'm sorry you went through so much pain, that you despised me and I know I deserve it, but you are my daughter Vala. I – I don't say this often enough, but I do love you. To me you still are that defiant, sweet, strong little girl. But now that I see you, and see you have friends, I don't have to worry so much about you anymore. I …………. I just wish I could see you and your brother together again as a family, not just quick glances around the universe. You mean the whole world to me and I…………….I can never make up for lost time, but I hope you would forgive me one day. Contempt does not look well on you my dear. I know your mother never taught you that."
Daniel had to smile a little to see Jacek was still the charming con man, as well as knowing where Vala gets her charms from, amongst other things.
"I think that's enough Jacek, stated Daniel. She hears you, look at her face. Look how peaceful she looks."
Both men looked down at the one woman that drove them crazy in different way, yet the both in their own way, loved who she was and had become.
"I guess you're right." Jacek sighed to himself and rested back on the bed. Daniel had motioned for his friends to wheel Jacek back to his room, mainly because the Doctor was closely watching his patients. Daniel sat down next to Vala and caressed her hair and hand.
"I know you can hear me Vala. Your father just confessed how much he loves you and why. I know you finally have answers to questions you have been asking yourself all your life. I wish that you were awake and could hear me too. I……….I love you Vala. I've missed out on the most important moments of being around you. It……….it scared me to death that you were almost killed today, and if it wasn't for your father, you would be. I don't know if you'll ever forgive him, but I hope you……………
Before Daniel could finish, Vala slowly opened her eyes and looked towards an empty space that had just been occupied by her father earlier.
"Vala, Vala, your awake. I'll get the Doctor."
"no, no please stay with me." Vala stated weakly. She was crying and Daniel wiped away the tears for her pale cheeks.
"Your father was here earlier. I wished you could hear him Vala. He loves you so much. You both have had to deal with pain in your lives and now it seems he wants to make amends."
"I heard. I thought, I…………I was dreaming. He does lo- love me doesn't he?"
"Yes, he does and ……………so do I. I love you Vala and I'm not going to let anything happen to you like that again. I'm here and Sam, Teal'c and Mitchell are here for you now. I – I just hope you can forgive me for the way I've acted towards you. I know it wasn't right, but I too went on defense. I – I didn't want to care or love anyone anymore. I didn't want them to die on me as they all have. But now I know how stupid I've been. I nearly lost you and thanks to your father, I've found out what I could of missed."
"I – I need to te- tell you something Daniel. I need to tell you what happened to my brother."
"No, you need to rest. I can wait. I think you need to tell your father first."
"No, he won't understand, please Daniel."
Daniel was almost heartbroken at how weak and desperate that Vala needed to confide in him about her family. He remembered before how she wanted to speak to him about something and he couldn't say no.
"Ok, I'm here and listening. Don't be afraid. I love you, nothing will ever change that." Daniel said kissing her forehead. Vala swallowed slightly, her throat was dry, but she didn't care. She drew strength from what her father had said and she needed to tell someone the rest of the story.
"Adria, had turned me, my brother and fiancée over to the priest of Quetesh. When Quetesh took me as host, she…………she made me kill my own brother and fiancée."
Daniel nearly fell off his chair at Vala's confession. But he knew he had to listen to the whole story. Vala seemed to want to say volumes to him. "Go on Vala, I'm here, don't be afraid." He knew this must be killing her to know she had this dark secret inside all this time.
"Quetesh………….she…………..she made me watch and I – I wanted to die. But then she called for Adria to trick her into thinking she would be rewarded for her loyalty. Quetesh rewarded her, but not the way Adria had wanted. She sent Adria's children to the mines and no one ever heard from them again. Adria ……………..Quetesh read my mind and knew what terrible things that Adria had done to me and my brother over the years. Quetesh abhorred someone being more evil than she was, so …………..so she, she……………….
"Take your time Vala. Take your time." Said Daniel softly. He wanted to give Vala all the time in the world.
"She read something more, about me too. She read how much I hated Adria. So she…………I or Quetesh, I don't know which, tortured Adria to death and brought her back, over and over again until she screamed for mercy. I…………….I tried not to give in to Quetesh. It was hard to separate her when she took over as host. But I killed her Daniel. I made her pay over a thousand times in death what she did to me, but; Quetesh read Adria's mind before she died Daniel."
Vala was crying a little harder and shaking in Daniels arms. Daniel held her as if a life raft to her soul. Her eyes were closed tight, remembering that horrible time.
"Adria………….Adria poisoned my mother. She killed her to get to my father. That evil women took away my mother and treated my brother and I like slaves. I……….I made her pay Daniel. I didn't mean to, but my mother would be alive today, if it wasn't for her pinning after my father. I'm a murderer Daniel. I blamed Jacek for everything that happened to us and now…………..now he, he will never love me anymore, if I ever told him about Adria and what I did to her."
Daniel could not believe the horrible pain Vala had held inside for so long. He held her tighter now, and allowed her to just cry her pain in his arms. Nothing would separate him from her, he now kept her beating heart close and somehow, it seemed to put him at peace with his own pain in his life. Shar'e would always be a part of him, but his future now was with Vala and his arms only wanted to put a protective shield around her to keep her safe. Vala's cries were becoming sobs, Daniel's shirt was soaked with her painful tears. She began to calm down and Daniel wanted to put her at ease.
"Vala, you can't blame yourself for all those years of torture and pain. I know I can't make those terrible memories go away, but you survived the best way you knew how. I understand you more than ever, and all that smiling and attention you craved was a protective wall you put up to block those memories. You're here now and so is Jacek and you have a chance to start over and be a family again."
There was silence accept for a few small sobs from Vala, but she held Daniel even tighter knowing he understood such pain. Daniel was afraid to say more, thinking she might break any moment, but he wanted her to remember something more.
"Vala? What was your mothers and brother's name? I know you loved them very much." Asked Daniel, hoping it would ease her pain.
Vala had not been asked that for a very long time. "My mother had a beautiful name…………her, her name was Vala. Her name was Vala."
Daniel couldn't help but smile lightly at Vala's name sake. "And your brother?" He said kissing her forehead tenderly.
"His name…………….. was Doran. Mol Doran."
"See, you took there name and made them your own. You didn't forget and I bet the knew that too."
Vala was sniffing and Daniel felt her head with his lips. Vala's fever was down and she seemed to be breathing more evenly.
"Look at me Vala, look at me sweetheart." Vala looked up slowly not quite sure she heard him right, but it sounded nice anyway.
"I love you, your father obviously loves you, and Sam, Teal'c, Mitchell and even Jack love you. I was the only one that kept you at arms length and now I have no excuse to. So I want you to understand something. I want to be with you, I want to see those wide smiles you give me, whenever I think you don't know something and you do. I want to kiss and touch you forever and I know that if no one's ever told you. I love you and forgive you and somewhere up there. Your mother, Vala, your brother Doran………..
"Mol Doran." Vala said interrupting.
"Your brother……… Mol Doran and all those who were under Quetesh's tyranny have been avenged, because she's dead and you have survived and here today to remember the pain and cruelty she evoked; and as long as you remember the good in you that hated the evil in her, you have been forgiven a long time ago."
Daniel waited for a response and looked down and Vala was fast asleep. Daniel had thought he had not seen a more beautiful sight than this woman in his arms. He gently laid her back down and tucked the covers under her and caressed her hair back over her temple. He leaned down and kissed her forehead and sat down and gently kissed her hand and held it in both his. He smiled and tilted his head to one side and finally thought about a future with someone he loved.
Further down the corridor in the infirmary a smile crossed Jacek's face and peace seemed to cover his face.
You have done well, my husband. She knows now, she knows. She needs you now, more than ever my husband.
Can't I come with you? It's so boring here. I like it where you're at. It's so clean and bustling with life.
No my dear husband. It's not your time yet. We will all be together one day, you'll see. We will all be a family again. Go back my love, go back. Vala waits, she waits. I love you my husband, take care of our daughter. One day she will reveal all, and Jacek?
Yes my darling, my only love.
She needs time. She needs your time.
Jacek's color was slowly coming back to him and he smiled knowing that his daughter needed him and he may yet have a chance at her forgiving him.
Another corrider down from him in the infirmary. Color was slowly coming back to Vala's face and a small smile, hardly noticeable to Daniel had made it's way to the corner of her lips, as if someone was saying goodbye to her in her dreams.
A/N: I finally finished. I didn't want to prolong the agony. But I felt this put a lot of unanswered questions to rest about Vala's family. So I hope I didn't dissapoint everyone. I want to continue a sequal to her father, but I need some input. Review as you like.
