Previously:

Home of Alex and Anna Lewis, Rosedale, Toronto, Canada, May 31, 2017

With Anna now pregnant, their routine had changed. She actually fell asleep faster, the fatigue usually setting in the moment she went to bed and making their conversations far shorter. However, nausea and nature's call would wake her up at least three times a night, which in turn woke him as well. The first few times, he even went into the bathroom with her, thinking he could hold her hair back or rub her back. She quickly put a stop to that. Now, he would just doze and wait for her to come back to bed, pull her close and kiss her forehead before they slept until the next interruption.

He opened his eyes and frowned, looking at her empty side of the bed. Even half asleep, he could still gauge time well enough. Anna had been in the bathroom for longer than usual.

"Alex! Alex!" she called.

He was wide awake and on his feet in seconds, walking quickly into their ensuite. He found her sitting on the toilet, her hands clutching her stomach, her brow furrowed in concern.

"Love?" he asked, coming over to her and kneeling down to be level with her face. "You all right?"

She looked at him, her eyes wide with fear. His heart clenched when he heard her desperate whisper.

"Something's wrong."

Chapter 9:

Home of Alex and Anna Lewis, Rosedale, Toronto, Canada, June 16, 2017

Alex looked at his reflection in the mirror, his fingers deftly looping his silk tie into a double Windsor knot and tightening it flush to his collar. Pausing to make sure all was properly in place, he turned and took his suit jacket off the hanger, putting it on and straightening the cuffs of his dress shirt. Satisfied with his appearance, he grabbed his phone off the table and left the bedroom, walking briskly along the hall and down the stairs.

The house was usually vibrant in the morning. National news reports or the weather forecast would be on one of the televisions, and music would be playing over the speakers in the kitchen. The neighbourhood was generally quiet, but there would be the odd barking dog or birdsong that wafted inside. This morning, though, everything was silent.

He reached the kitchen and frowned. His metal travel cup was sitting on the island next to a chocolate croissant wrapped in a napkin. Going over and inspecting the items, he noticed the slow cooker was on, a batch of meatballs swimming in tomato sauce beneath the glass lid. Sighing, he took his breakfast and walked down the hall towards the garage. The croissant was finished in three bites before he slipped his feet into his dress shoes and headed out the door.

The cars were all sitting in their berths, clean and polished to a gleaming shine. He pondered which one to take for a moment, then chose the Mercedes. He didn't feel like driving the convertible today, despite the brilliant sunshine and balmy temperature. Slipping into the leather seat, he put his cup in the cup holder and pushed the engine start button. The car growled awake, and he revved the engine several times while waiting for the garage door to open fully. His eyes wandered to the empty passenger seat for a moment, his brow crinkling into a frown. Sighing and shaking his head, he put on his sunglasses and shifted the car into gear, easing it out and on to the driveway before hitting the accelerator and peeling off down the street towards his downtown office.

Pinewood Studios Toronto, Port Lands, Toronto, Canada, June 18, 2017

"I scheduled the video call with Paul for tomorrow at 6. You can do it from home," Anna said, swiping her fingers across the tablet screen. "You've got two hours before you have to be back here for voiceovers at 8, which should be more than enough time. I'll bring your dinner in while you're speaking with him."

"Won't it be rather late over there?" Mary asked, taking a sip of water. She was sitting at her small desk, her tablet propped up in front of her. Looking up, she checked her reflection in the mirror, making sure her hair was still intact. She was careful not to move too suddenly or disturb the plastic bag that was serving to protect the styling for the next scene. To an outsider, she would look quite strange right now, but this was considered normal on-set.

"It was the only time he had available," Anna explained. "I get the sense that he works rather late into the evenings."

"As long as it's all right with him. I wouldn't want to annoy my director before I even get started on the movie," Mary noted.

"He said that you were perfect for the role, so I'm sure you're in decent shape with him," Anna remarked. "Rumour is that he's quite demanding, though, very stubborn, fiercely protective of his vision."

"Aren't we all?" Mary asked lightly.

Anna smiled and nodded. "I'll go and grab your lunch. I wouldn't want you to risk your hair walking to the cafeteria."

Mary laughed and found her assistant's smiling face in the mirror. "You know, Anna, this afternoon shouldn't take too long. If you wanted to head out a bit earlier and get home for dinner, I'm sure that I can manage the rest of it."

Anna blinked and lowered her gaze. "It's all right. I'm fine with staying."

Mary's eyes softened in sympathy. "Very well. See if they've got any edamame today, won't you? I've been craving some since we had sushi the other night."

Anna smiled bravely and nodded. "All right."

Mary watched her leave the trailer. She sighed sadly and shook her head.


"Hey, Anna!"

Anna stopped and looked up. Recognizing the voice, she put on a warm smile when Gwen reached her.

"Hey," Anna said cheerfully. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I was just looking at my schedule and getting more and more depressed. Do you know we're shooting at night every weekend for the rest of the month?" Gwen whinged.

"There's only one weekend left in the month, but yeah, I knew that," Anna teased.

"You know what I mean," Gwen said, shaking her head. "I've barely been out at all since May."

"I'm sure that bars across the city are suffering for it, too," Anna joked.

"Obviously," Gwen said, shrugging her shoulders. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you about your Canada Day party. It's on, right?"

Anna's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh…erm…no, actually. We…uh…we aren't doing one this year."

"Shit, really?" Gwen complained. "That sucks. Your Canada Day party is always amazing. What happened? Just too busy this year?"

"Yeah," Anna said, nodding her head. "This whole month has been crazy busy and we've got the wrap party the night before, so…"

"Right, right," Gwen said, her eyes lighting up. "Oh, we are going to get so trashed at the wrap party! It'll be absolutely epic!"

Anna smiled and nodded. "For sure!"

"Oh, but are you going to be drinking?" Gwen asked. "Is it a safe time of the month for that?"

Anna blinked and pursed her lips, her chest tightening. She smiled and nodded, taking a moment to calm herself before responding more enthusiastically. "Oh yeah, for sure. It won't be time for us to try for a few weeks after that, so it's all fine."

"Great! Okay, I've got to go do a fitting for the next scene. I'll see you later," Gwen said, smiling and heading off to the wardrobe area.

"Bye!" Anna said, smiling at Gwen before turning away. She closed her eyes for a moment and willed her tears to stand down. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and continued on to the cafeteria.


"Jade!" Tony roared, coming into her office and closing the door behind him.

"You bellowed, my love?" Mary replied sweetly, giving him a smug smirk.

"You changed the armour of the soldiers," he said tightly, coming over and throwing a piece of silk on to her desk. "To pink."

Mary waited before picking up the material and running it over her fingers. "It's actually purple, my Lord. You might confuse it with pink if you look at it from the wrong angle, but I assure you, it's purple."

"Be that as it may," he sneered. "The armour of my army is black. It always has been, and so it shall remain."

"That is true, in part. It was black. However, the laws of your people give the Emperor control of the army and the Empress the responsibility for maintenance and resupply," she noted, smiling and crossing her arms over her front.

"That is only so that the Empress can keep the supplies fully stocked and the soldiers properly outfitted when the Emperor is in the field!" he snapped. "It has nothing to do with…colour choices."

"On the contrary, husband," she said pleasantly. "As your Empress, I have complete authority over the armour and arms supplied to the army, and if I choose to provide them with purple armour, then I am within my rights to do so. There is nothing in your laws, or your code, that specifically forbids it, is there?"

He glared at her. "No. No, there isn't."

"Good, then it's settled," she declared. "You should consider yourself fortunate. I would be within my rights to take back all of your blades and guns and replace them with feathers, if I wanted to."

He grunted in frustration.

"Unless my Lord wishes to exercise his right to oppose my decision, and if so, then we are required to duel, aren't we?" she said, arching her green sparkled eyebrow at him.

He scoffed and leaned over her desk. "I see what you're playing at, Jade. I won't be so easily tricked. You swore an oath to me, and I intend to hold you to it."

She got up from her chair and leaned towards him. "And I, dearest, swore another oath, if you recall. I swore that I would see your head severed from your body and your balls cut off and fed to the pigs. Rest assured, I always keep my promises."

His nostrils flared as their eyes stayed locked on each other, neither willing to look away first.

"He worked on that for an hour, you know," Green said, leaning over and whispering to Anna. "He kept asking me if he was moving his nose too much."

Anna kept her lips sealed, stifling her laugh as she watched the scene unfold on the set in front of them. She shot Green a warning glare, then kept watching.

"Ah, so you do laugh, still," he noted, his voice low and smooth. "I was beginning to wonder, given the mood you've been in the past couple of weeks."

She blinked and bit her lower lip nervously.

"Look, Anna, I don't mean to pry, but whatever it is that's bothering you, because something obviously is, I just want you to know…" he said softly.

"Shh," she quieted him, turning and catching his concerned look. "There's nothing, but I know I can talk to you. I know."

He smirked. "Actually, that's not what I was going to say at all."

She frowned in confusion. "It's not?"

"No," he replied easily. "I imagine you have plenty of people to confide in – Mary, Gwen, whoever else. I'm a decent listener, and I'll listen if you need me to, but I'm not terribly good at the whole empathy thing. I'm just not wired to be sensitive and caring and all of that shit."

She smirked and covered her mouth to quiet her incredulous laugh.

"What I was going to say," he continued, smiling at her. "Was that whatever it is you're supposedly not going through, if you just want to forget about it, just pretend like it doesn't exist, I can help you with that. I'm pretty good at helping people forget their worries."

His words made her suddenly think of him and Rachel, the images invading her mind. She remembered the female cop's confession that Green was great at helping her lose herself, forget all the shit in her life. A flash of the sick dream that she'd had came back to her – Green fucking a woman on her bed, a woman who she thought was Rachel at first, but ended up being her, her bent over, taking all of him, screaming his name in joy.

"So, if you need a little something to help you forget for a bit, help you take a bit of a break from what's going on in your life, just let me know," he finished, smiling at her knowingly. "We can go see a movie, do one of those room escape things, even go shopping, whatever. Just have a night to forget the outside world for a bit. Say the word and I'll get you sorted."

He straightened back up and paid full attention to the scene in front of them.

She watched him for a moment, wondering what else he might be implying. He alluded before about how even though Tony forbid him from even smoking a cigarette, he could still obtain 'things' to help him get by, if necessary. She had been trying so hard lately to bury all that she had been through and all that she was feeling deep down inside, mainly by throwing herself into work. But she was still herself at work, and all that had taken place recently still followed her, haunted her. Maybe a night of distraction, a night where she wasn't herself, was what she needed, with an outsider like him, someone who had nothing to do with the hell she was going through.

She turned her head back to watch Mary and Tony, her mind dazed with confusion and questions.

"Take these small, petty victories, if you like, Jade," Tony said, his voice cold and eerily calm. "But we both know the end of the month is coming, and we both know very well what you are obliged to do for me at that time, don't we? I'm very much looking forward to it, to receiving my wife's special brand of attention."

He turned and headed for the door. Mary stood still behind her desk, fists clenched, chin raised, eyes afire.

"And cut!" the director called.

Anna applauded along with the rest of the crew. She glanced up at Green before moving away and going to attend to Mary.

Apartment of Mary Crawley, Trump Residences Toronto, Downtown Toronto, Canada, June 19, 2017

"I'd like to play her as a bit of a tease, maybe far more confident than she really is, at first," Mary said, smiling politely as she explained her ideas to her director. "In the beginning, she's terribly naïve and inexperienced. She likes the attention and doesn't think anything nefarious will come of it. She doesn't flirt openly with him, but she doesn't fly off the handle, either. She thinks it's all just fun and harmless, because modelling is so new to her, and the difference in language and background between them, and all of that. She sees him as an admirer at most, nothing more."

"Yes, that fits the character," Paul agreed, nodding his head.

"In the second Act, she'll become more scared and alarmed," she continued. "I don't want her to be cowering, but she'll certainly be confused after the scene at the café, and in her facial expressions and body language, the tension will be apparent."

"Good, good," Paul noted. "Now what about the other Lily, the second one?"

She frowned. "I'm sorry, the 'other Lily'?"

He smiled and nodded. "Marie, this film is about obsession, yes? There are two women in the film – the Lily of everyday, the normal one, and the Lily of his imagination, the one he is obsessed with."

She shook her head. "I'm not following."

He chuckled and shook his head. "It is okay. The script is not clear on it because it is subtle, no? Tell me, what research have you done on this?"

She composed herself and spoke crisply. "I've been looking into different relationships involving artists and their muses, or subjects – Georgia O'Keefe and Alfred Stieglitz, Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, even Marc Jacobs and Sofia Coppola. I've tried to understand what drew the artist to the muse, and the connection between them."

"Very good, very good," he approved. "And what have you drawn from all of them?"

"The intensity," she replied. "The connection seems so strong, as if a mere look at the muse can stir such powerful inspiration in the artist. It was something beyond lust or infatuation for them, going so far as to seem unhealthy in certain cases."

"But you do not believe in that, no?" he asked, smiling curiously at her over the video link. "You do not think it is possible to find a part of yourself in another person, to be moved to create because another person drives you to do it?"

"I wouldn't say that I don't believe it, obviously there's art and creations that came from these relationships, so there must be some truth to it. I just don't see how one can be so affected by a stranger at first, someone who they don't know yet. Relationships can develop over time and feelings can intensify, yes, but these artists that I looked at, they speak of being captured by the muse from the beginning, as if in some state of enchantment. That seems rather strange," she admitted.

"Exactly, exactly what I expected you to think," he said, smiling. "The muse is not the woman, it is not Lily, because he does not know her at first glance. It is the Lily in his mind. The woman he thinks that she is, that he wants her to be for him. That is the Lily you must be for parts of the movie to show how powerful the connection is, even if it is just on the one side."

She frowned, absorbing his words. "So I need to know how to perform for him in a way."

"Yes, or you need to know his impression, understand how he sees you, and feed into that fantasy, build that connection so that he no longer sees who you are, all he sees is who he wants you to be. That is the point of obsession. He is no longer admiring you. You are filling his mind," he stated.

She frowned and jotted down some notes.

"Perhaps it would help you to focus on someone who inspires others in a similar way as Lily does for Antoine," he suggested.

"And who would that be?" she asked.

"You, of course," he said lightly.

"Me?" she exclaimed, her eyes looking up from her notes in surprise.

"Yes, you, Marie. All of your fans, your followers, they adore you, yes? They say they love you even though they do not know who you are," he said

"Most of my fans are women, actually," she noted. "And they're all speaking about my work, not about me."

"Yes, but there are some men among the crowd," he joked. "They think you are your characters. They think they will like you because they like your characters. It is an illusion that they create in their minds and how they shift their feelings for someone who does not exist on to the real life person."

She blinked and nodded at his reasoning.

"I want you to put yourself in their position. Be them, understand what it is to want someone you do not know, what it feels like to be obsessed – to imagine a stranger and feel for them such raw emotion, yearning, passion. See Lily through Antoine's eyes, and be that woman," he advised.

"All right," she agreed. "I'll look into that."

"You do not have a boyfriend, no? This Henri Talboot – you are no longer together, no?" he asked.

"No, we're definitely not together. Our relationship was not nearly as deep as some thought, besides," she said, rolling her eyes.

"It does not matter. What matters is whether you have a boyfriend, or not. Since you do not, then you are free to experiment, to see yourself as other men see you. Take notice. Pay attention when others are admiring you, watching you, desiring you. That is Antoine. He does not know anything about you beyond your name and what you look like, and from that he has created this entire woman, a woman he wants above all others. Play around it, with them, and see how they act, how you feel when they look at you. Remember that feeling," he said firmly.

She hesitated. "I don't generally do method acting in my preparations, or my performances," she said.

He smiled. "For this role, you already are, just by the nature of your position. I want you to push it a bit more, that is all."

"All right. I'll try," she said cautiously.

"Good, good. I see you in a few weeks, yes? Good night, Marie."

Gym, Athletic Centre, University of Toronto, Downtown Toronto, Canada, June 21, 2017

"Ball! Ball!" Alex shouted, glaring at his teammate and waving his hand frantically. "Ball!"

The other player passed the ball to him finally. Alex was standing with his back to the basket, a defender stood behind him, leaning on him to push him further away.

Alex dribbled several times. He shoved back against his defender, forcing the man to retreat a few steps. He did it again, and a third time, drawing closer to the basket with each collision. Finally, he lowered his shoulder and leaned into the man before turning and jumping off the floor. The extra leverage put the defender off balance and stopped him from jumping to contest the shot. Alex easily fired the basketball into the hoop from a short distance away.

"That's ten!" he shouted, walking back to the top of the arc to take the ball for the next possession. "Game point! Let's go!"

Matthew looked at him with concern. Alex had been surly since they started playing, yelling and admonishing his teammates, taunting and talking trash to the opponents, and being a bit of a douche. Their team was winning thanks to Alex's aggressive play, but it wasn't what Matthew was used to seeing from him. This was just a casual pick-up game. Everyone was competitive, but didn't get out of hand. Alex was usually light-hearted on the court, laughing and joking with everyone, keeping the mood relaxed and easy-going. He always wanted to win, but he was never angry or condescending, not until tonight's session.

Alex passed the ball off to a teammate, then clapped his hands, demanding the ball back right away. The ball came to him and he held it behind his back, turning and waving his hand at Matthew.

"Screen! Screen! Get over here!" Alex snarled.

Matthew came over and stood next to Alex's defender, setting a screen to allow him to dribble around him. Matthew's defender came over and stood close by, ready to follow Alex once he came around the screen. Alex dribbled past Matthew and stuck out his forearm to clear the defender away from him. The push sent the man tumbling down to the court as Alex dribbled past. With both defenders caught behind him, Alex penetrated into the lane near the basket, dribbled between his legs to get around another defender, then leapt to the air and dunked the ball through the basket with both hands. He roared loudly when he landed, raising his head and screaming so that everyone in the cavernous gym could hear.

"Foul!" Matthew's defender called, getting up off the floor and glaring at Alex.

"What?" Alex shouted incredulously. He came over to stand in front of the taller man, frowning up at him. "The fuck you talking about a foul?"

"Man, you shoved me when you went around the screen. That's an offensive foul."

"I didn't shove you, I shook you," Alex retorted. "Maybe if you knew how to play defence, then you wouldn't be whinging for a foul after the fact."

"You're supposed to call your own fouls," another player interjected. "Everyone knows that."

"Yeah, and that's why I didn't call anything, because I didn't foul him," Alex said, glaring at the second player. "We won the game. Get over it."

"He called a foul. That means the ball is ours and we go again."

"I can't believe you guys are pulling this just because you can't stand losing," Alex grumbled, shaking his head. "All right, let's go again. When I block the hell out of your weak ass shot, though, don't fucking say that I fouled you."

The players glanced at each other in disbelief as Alex went over to his position to play defence.


Alex frowned and looked at his phone screen, leaning against the locker room wall. He waited for Matthew to finish changing, busying himself with checking sports scores.

"So are we going to talk about what happened tonight?" Matthew asked, stowing his gym clothes in his bag.

"What do you want to talk about? The awesome dunk I had that they didn't count, or the block and three that won the game?" Alex replied, not looking up.

"How about why you were acting like such an asshole tonight?" Matthew countered, slinging the duffel bag over his shoulder and walking over to Alex.

Alex rolled his eyes and put his phone in the pocket of his shorts. "It wasn't a foul."

"Even if it wasn't, you don't usually act like such a wannabe tough guy," Matthew noted. "You're usually the one cracking jokes and telling other guys not to take it so seriously. I barely recognized you up there, talking shit and yelling at people."

Alex glared at him. "Yeah, well, I'm not in the greatest of moods these days, haven't exactly felt like myself. Sorry."

"I know," Matthew said, following him out of the locker room and down the hall. "Look, if you want to take it out on me, go ahead. Lord knows you always find things to complain about me anyway. But everyone in the gym tonight thought you were being a prick, and that's not you."

"I don't give a fuck about what any of them think of me," Alex scoffed.

"I know you don't, but that doesn't change the fact that you're not acting like yourself," Matthew noted.

Alex sighed, shaking his head as they went outside. "She doesn't want me to go to the wrap party."

Matthew blinked. "Huh?"

"The wrap party at the end of the month," Alex repeated. "She doesn't want me there. She said she just wants to have a fun night with the cast and crew, celebrate their five years together, the end of the show, all of that. She doesn't want me to come by."

"Mary told me much the same, but she still wants me to come by at the end," Matthew said.

"Yes, thank you, that helps," Alex said bitterly.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to understand," Matthew said.

"What is there to understand?" Alex demanded, frowning at him. "My wife doesn't want me to go with her to a party that I've been going to every year for the past five years. Probably the only time we would have been out together all month and she doesn't want me there. Seems pretty straightforward to me."

Matthew sighed and looked at his friend with concern. "Have you tried…"

"If you say 'have you tried talking to her about it' then you can walk your ass home," Alex interrupted him.

"Well, it is only about 20 minutes away," Matthew joked.

Alex frowned at him, not swayed in the least.

"Alex, she's not the only one hurting," Matthew continued.

"You really are clueless about women," Alex said in exasperation. "I can't compare my loss to hers, come on. I've tried to talk to her about it, but she refuses to. How can I blame her for that? To relive what she had to go through by talking about it? That's just cruel."

Matthew shook his head sadly as they reached the kerb where the Lamborghini was parked. Alex unlocked the car and lifted the hood, stowing their bags in the cargo area. The two of them got in and he gunned the engine.

"Maybe going over to Paris is exactly what you guys need," Matthew noted. "Go over there, different country, just the two of you. You can reconnect on a neutral ground, call it."

Alex sighed as he hit the pedal and blazed around a sweeping curve before heading down Spadina Avenue towards Matthew's building. "Yeah, I hope so."

Home of Alex and Anna Lewis, Rosedale, Toronto, Canada, June 21, 2017

The first thing Alex always did when he came home from any workout was to empty his bag. He set his shoes on the rack near the garage, threw all his soiled clothes into the hamper in the laundry room next door, and left his bag to air out. His legs ached as stress caught up to him, but he still followed his routine, though it did nothing to calm him down. With a frown on his face, he trudged into the kitchen. A recovery milkshake and he would head to bed.

"Hi."

He stopped just inside the doorway and blinked in surprise. Anna was seated at the island, a bowl of pretzels in front of her.

"Hi," he answered carefully, continuing on to the fridge and looking away from her. "I didn't expect you would be home until later."

"We've got an early start tomorrow so they let us leave before midnight for once," she said, not even joking.

"Ah," he replied, grabbing his milkshake and popping the cap. He stood facing her, the island between them.

"How was your day?" she asked. "How was basketball?"

"Good," he answered. "We won."

"Good," she said tightly.

He kept sipping his milkshake, looking into the distance beyond her shoulder.

"Listen, I was thinking about the trip to France in July," she began, looking down at the pretzels. "We're going to be really busy with getting acclimated and jumping right into filming that first week. Maybe it's best if you just don't come along."

He almost choked on his drink. As it was, he gulped it down with a particularly hard swallow. "What?"

She glanced up nervously at his shocked expression. "Well, I don't know how much free time I'll have. If we're not on set, we'll be getting used to the city, finding out where everything is. It'll be terribly boring for you, plus it's so much more inconvenient for you to do work over there."

"You want to go to Paris without me?" he asked, frowning at her. "We already rented the apartment. You're fine with us being separated for months? Really?"

"It won't be months," she said, shaking her head. "We'll talk, and you'll be in London for Edith's wedding in August. It'll only be a few weeks, that's it."

"If it's just a few weeks, then I may as well come along," he noted, his tone growing more and more irritated. "I don't get why you wouldn't want me there. Even if you'll be as busy as you claim you'll be, we'll still see each other at night."

"I'll be so tired, though," she stated. "I'm afraid I won't be very good company."

He stared at her in absolute astonishment. Placing his palms on the island, he leaned forward, looking at her intently. "Anna, I…I just don't see why you wouldn't want me there. I just don't get it."

"I told you," she said curtly. "It's better if you just stay here and we'll meet up in London."

"Better for who?" he snapped, glaring at her now. "It sure as hell isn't better for me! I can't be with you from an ocean away. I can't hold you over video chat. I can't support you from another country. I can't help you if I'm not…"

"You can't help me!" she said, gritting her teeth as she set her furious eyes on him. "Don't you see? I can't have you around me right now, I just can't! I need to just focus on my work for the moment, and it's very busy with Mary starting this new movie. It's only a few weeks, I don't think it's too much to ask."

"You're asking me to leave you alone, to send you overseas alone, to not be with you. That's not too much to ask?" he demanded. "Anna, what the fuck? This whole month, all I've done is give you space, tried to not push you, or pressure you, but this is crazy. Being apart isn't going to help, you have to see that."

"Do you want to know what I see? Do you really?" she shouted, tears falling from her eyes. "I look at you and all I see is failure, my failure and shame laid bare! I hear your voice and all I think about is how I lost your baby! That's why I don't want you around me. That's why we haven't slept together, why I haven't let you touch me all month! Being around you hurts! It hurts like absolute fucking hell! It's a constant reminder of everything that I did wrong!"

She covered her mouth as her sobs made her shake.

"Love, our baby…losing our baby was horrible, but it wasn't your fault…" he said softly.

"Oh, would you just stop?" she moaned, swallowing and breathing harshly. "Don't quote me the statistics again. Don't try and make it seem like it was 'just one of those things', as if it was common and bound to happen! We didn't do anything wrong. I ate right. I got plenty of sleep. I took my vitamins. Even all the sex we had was entirely safe. I did everything that I was supposed to do and I still lost the baby! Don't you know how that makes me feel? Can't you understand how unfair and cruel that is?"

"Anna," he said sadly, moving to come around the island towards her.

"No!" she said quietly, getting up from her stool and putting her hands up to stop him. "Just…just stay where you are."

He cringed as he saw the pain and fear in her eyes.

"I think that you need to consider that this is a sign," she said quietly, looking down at the floor. "We tried. We tried for months, and it seemed like finally it worked, but in the end it didn't. Maybe we're just not meant to have children together. Maybe I'm not the one who can give you children."

"That's not true. You don't believe that," he said, shaking his head.

"Don't tell me what I do and don't believe!" she blasted him, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. "I'm tainted for you now! I can't go through this again, it's too much, too hard! Just…just let's get through to the end of the month and I'll see you in London in August. Maybe by then…well…we'll see."

She didn't wait for him to answer, just turned and walked quickly from the kitchen and upstairs to their bedroom. He heard the door close firmly shortly afterwards. Since the first night back from the hospital, he'd been sleeping in another bedroom, at first because she was tender and wanted their bed to herself, but as the days and weeks went on, she didn't invite him back, and he didn't ask. They had been strangers for the past month, going to work separately at different times, not taking meals together, barely talking. He put up with it because he wanted to respect her right to mourn and grieve privately, but he never imagined she would want to go France without him.

He covered his face with his hand and took a deep breath. Opening his eyes, he looked around the kitchen, his mind a complete mess. Focusing in on her bowl of pretzels, he walked around the island and picked it up, hefting it in his hand. Her words came back to him, so full of hurt, and anger, and crushing anguish.

'Maybe we're just not meant to have children together.'

He screamed loudly and launched the bowl at the sink, watching it shatter into pieces.

Apartment of Matthew Crawley, Downtown Toronto, Canada, June 21, 2017

"Can I ask you something?" Mary asked, resting her head on Matthew's chest.

"After what we just did, you can ask me anything you want," he said, smiling at her.

She rolled her eyes, smiling in spite of herself. "Must every conversation with you turn to thoughts of sex?"

His smile grew even more smug. "Darling, we're lying in bed naked and you're pressed against me in the most delightful manner. I'd say if I wasn't thinking about sex at this moment, there would be cause for concern."

She scoffed and shook her head. "All right, fine. What I wanted to ask you was, have you ever been obsessed with me?"

He looked at her curiously. "This question is designed to get me in trouble, isn't it?"

"No," she said, chuckling at his suspicious glance. "Paul told me that I need to prepare for my role by delving into how people become obsessed with certain celebrities and so on, understand how people can pretend that their idols are someone they're not. I've never been obsessed with anyone, so I wanted to see what your experience was."

He laughed in amusement. "You think that I was obsessed with you, do you?"

"Well, you did follow me to another country when we weren't together," she teased. "That is rather obsessive behaviour, isn't it?"

He rolled his eyes. "I was offered the part in the chorus. They could have been performing in Chicago, New York, or wherever and that's where I would have gone. It just so happened it was here."

"So you're saying that you didn't actually care about me after we broke up?" she asked, arching her eyebrow.

"Now I know that this was all just a set-up," he grumbled. "In the beginning, I thought about you constantly, of course. I wondered about everything that I'd done wrong, everything I could have done differently. It was painful having to go over all of it."

She cringed and rubbed his chest. "I don't mean to bring this up to make you feel guilty. You aren't the only one to blame, you know."

He smiled wanly and nodded to her. "What ended up happening was I tried to distract myself, first with work, then with working out, reading, anything to occupy my time. But I didn't really think about ways to get you back. I was hopeful that we'd see each other again at some point, but I didn't try and force anything. I knew that wouldn't work with you."

She smiled. "Little did you realize that getting me back would be far easier than you imagined."

"Yes, an absolute cinch, it was," he said, chuckling and rubbing her back. "If it helps you at all, I believe I am quite obsessed with you now. I think about you all the time."

She laughed as he pulled her up and kissed her soundly. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Crawley. If I'm honest, I might just be a bit obsessed with you, too."

She ran her hands through his hair, her tongue playing with his, his arms encircling her and holding her close.

"I'll have to look into this in greater detail," she noted, kissing him again. "How does one move from admiration, to infatuation, to obsession? What happens to make one believe that someone else will change their life so profoundly, think that they need them so desperately?"

She laughed as he turned her on to her back and moved on top of her. "I can show you what you inspire me to want to do, if you like?"

"By all means," she said sultrily, spreading her legs and wrapping them across his. "I'm always up for some in-depth research."

He laughed and kissed her neck, shifting his hips teasingly against hers before drawing a delicious moan from her lips.

Studio One, District 28, Leslieville, Toronto, Canada, June 30, 2017

"I just want to thank everyone, all the wonderful crew, the cast, of course, everyone who has been a part of this wonderful show for the past five years. When we shot the pilot, we were hoping to be picked up and maybe get a season or two. In our wildest dreams, we hoped to get enough time to tell all the stories from the books, and now we have, and then some, so we are all so very lucky, and so very grateful. Best wishes to each and every one of you. May you all go on to do great things, and let's all keep in touch, please. Enjoy the night!"

Everyone cheered and applauded, lifting their champagne flutes and draining them quickly. The showrunners waved and put down their microphones, the DJ starting up the dance music again and the lights turning down once more.

"Woohoo!" Mary cried, lifting her arms up and dancing to the music. Anna and Gwen laughed and danced along with her, clumsily handing over their empty champagne glasses to the servers who passed by. Since arriving, they'd done a round of vodka shots and three rounds of champagne, snacking on the hors d'oeuvres in between going back and forth to the dance floor. The event space was decorated in blacks, greens and blues, with logos and decorations from the show draped on the walls. Large video screens played behind-the-scenes videos and blooper reels on loop during the evening and even the food had a Paladin theme, with desserts featuring swords and shields in icing. With this being most likely the last time that the cast and crew would be together, the network had at least spared no expense to give them a proper send-off.

Anna closed her eyes and smiled, swaying her hips to the beat of the music. She was determined to enjoy herself tonight, try and let go of all the conflicting emotions and lingering pain of all that had happened to her lately and just have fun. She couldn't remember the last time she had an evening without worries, stress, pressures clouding her mind. Tonight was going to be different. Tonight she was barely going to remember her own name, if she could help it.

Mary laughed and sang along to the song, staying close to Anna as they danced. She thought she would be sad today, the official end of her time on Paladin, the show that had defined her career so far. However, she wasn't sad. She felt more relieved than anything else, having survived the harsh filming schedule and everything swirling around her to reach this point. The script had changed on her early on, and she had to learn plenty on-the-fly, but she still felt this season was some of her best work, a fitting end to five years of intense changes in her life. She wasn't necessarily where she wanted to be, compared to what she had envisioned even last year, but she was looking forward to her coming adventure in Paris filming The Muse, and spending the summer in Europe.

She pulled Anna into a hug, the two of them laughing and singing together.

"Who's turn is it to buy the next round?" Mary asked, almost shouting to be heard over the music.

"Who cares? Let's just go!" Anna answered.

They both laughed and headed for the bar, taking Gwen, Catherine, and others with them.

JaBistro Japanese Restaurant, Downtown Toronto, Canada, June 30, 2017

"Do you think I could borrow the Lamborghini tomorrow? I want to take Mary for a drive in the country before we fly out," Matthew asked, popping a piece of blowtorched salmon oshizushi into his mouth.

Alex frowned at him. "Hey, I'm depressed, lonely, and a bit drunk. I'm not stupid. No, you can't."

Matthew laughed and clinked sake cups with him before they downed another shot. "It was worth a try," he said, grimacing at the strong drink.

"I suppose, yeah. Catch me in a moment of weakness," Alex grumbled, picking at his wagyu beef.

"Look, I know it's bleak right now, but she'll come around," Matthew said. "Anna loves you. You'll see. By the time you come over for Edith's wedding, things will be better."

"They can't get much worse," Alex said bitterly. "And I know she loves me. That's not the problem. The problem is she doesn't love herself right now. She's always had confidence issues, but this is way, way worse. She has to pull herself out of it, cause there's nothing I can do, especially when I'm here and she's over there."

Matthew nodded and sipped his water, trying to pace himself. He wasn't due to pick up Mary from the party for a while yet, and the way Alex was going, the both of them would be completely sloshed within the hour if he wasn't careful.

"You know she's staying at Mary's tonight?" Alex asked, shaking his head in consternation. "Her last night here before flying away for the summer and she won't even come home."

Matthew frowned.

"Anyway, what's up with your place in Spain? Did Joe set it all up?" Alex asked, changing the subject.

Matthew nodded. "I've got a spot overlooking the bay right in the Old Quarter of San Sebastián. It looks gorgeous, and it's about a half hour from Zumaia, so getting to and from the set should be easy. We're starting out pretty light, so I'll have time to explore a little bit."

"Work on that tan," Alex joked.

"I think I'll have to," Matthew admitted. "My character arrives at the island pasty white, but he's rather bronzed by the time his ordeal is over."

"And how are you getting along with Rooney Mara?" Alex asked. "She's infamously shy and guarded, from what I hear."

"We've talked a couple of times, nothing personal, just work," Matthew replied. "She's really talented. I think she likes the fact that we're playing brother and sister, rather than love interests. I doubt she would have gone for the role if it involved her being rescued and having to make out on the beach. I think we'll get along well enough. We don't have to be best friends to make this work."

"No, you're not one to make friends so easily anyway," Alex said.

"Hey, I still keep in touch with Natalie and Rick," Matthew said defensively. "We'll probably see Natalie in London at some point."

"Speaking of London, is there going to be anything for Bertie at any point?" Alex asked. "I don't know if a Marquess is allowed to have a bachelor party or not."

"I think Tom mentioned he'll throw something together, who knows?" Matthew said. "Once I was fitted for my tux, all responsibilities ended. All I have to do now is show up at the church and walk down the aisle with Mary. That's it."

"You'll make quite the pair," Alex remarked.

"Yes, well the difference from your wedding is that this time we'll actually still be a couple," Matthew said, looking at him pointedly.

"Hear, hear," Alex said, pouring them both another shot of sake.

Matthew rolled his eyes and gamely took up his cup, touched it to Alex's and downed the drink.

Studio One, District 28, Leslieville, Toronto, Canada, June 30, 2017

Green drank his beer as he looked out to the dance floor from his perch along the wall. All night he'd been keeping to himself, stopping to take the odd group photo with another set of drunken crew members. There was no hurry. He had all evening to carry out his plans.

Anna had shown up alone, as he expected. Her husband was nowhere to be found, and she stayed close to Mary, Gwen and the other girls. He didn't know what was going on in her life, but he suspected something was wrong. She had been in a sombre mood for much of the past month, and she was guarded and defensive at times during their daily chats. Whatever it was, there seemed to be tension in her marriage. She didn't mention her husband nearly as often or as easily as she did before, which suited him just fine.

He had managed to get more details from her about her upcoming stay in Paris. The way she was talking, it seemed that she'd be on her own, accompanying Mary to set and staying in a rented apartment. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that Europe would be a better place for him to make his move. He had patiently gained her confidence and trust over the past months, and if he tried anything tonight, at best he would get a quickie and ship her off home afterwards to avoid discovery in the morning. If he just bided his time a bit more, he could meet up with her in Paris and have her for days.

He smiled at the sight of her, laughing and dancing. She was wearing a charcoal grey dress that bared one shoulder, the skirt going down to mid-thigh. The material was shimmery, flowing with her body as she danced. Her hair was swept up, tied back with a braid like a blonde tiara, exposing her slender neck. She had definitely put extra effort into getting ready tonight. She looked glamorous and so unlike her normal staid and professional image. He loved it.

"Careful, Mr. Green. You're staring."

Green smiled at his boss as Tony came over to him.

"Just enjoying my evening," Green said. "You?"

Tony's eyes wandered over to Mary. "It's going well enough. I'll be glad to get out of here and back to London, though."

"I thought you were enjoying your time here, working with Lady Mary and all," Green said.

"It was good fun, yes," Tony acknowledged, smiling as he recalled filming a love scene with Mary last week. "However I believe that we've accomplished what we came here to do, so we can go back home satisfied."

"I agree," Green said, looking at Anna once more. "There's been great progress made on all fronts."

"Just be discrete," Tony said quietly. "We're very close to getting what we want. The last thing we need is for you to cock things up by chasing after another stupid little blonde."

"Yes, sir," Green replied, keeping his eyes on Anna.


"I'm going to head out," Tony said, leaning over to speak into Mary's ear as his hand went around her waist.

"So soon? You haven't even asked me to dance yet," Mary noted, arching her eyebrow at him.

He smiled sheepishly. "I'm afraid I'm not very good at dancing to this type of music. Otherwise, I would have asked you long ago, believe me."

"Ah, you're more of a waltz and foxtrot type of man, are you?" she teased.

"Actually, I prefer the tango and paso doble," he retorted, looking at her intently. "Dances that actually involve skill."

"Now that sounds like a challenge," she said, laughing merrily. "By boasting about your abilities and set the bar rather high for yourself. I'll expect you to be quite good."

"You'll just have to see if I measure up, sometime," he said. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Goodnight, Mary. Have a safe flight to France."

"I'll let you know when I'm in London," she said, kissing his cheek and smiling at him. "Goodnight, Tony."

He took his leave and headed for the door. She watched him go, contemplating just how much he'd changed from the young man she knew back in England. If any man could be said to be obsessed with her, it was Tony back then, back when she was with Matthew but he wasn't deterred. She never contemplated that she might inspire anything in him though. She always assumed he just wanted to be with her because she fit the idea of the woman he thought he should be with. Now, years later, she still suspected that he was attracted to her, despite Mabel being in the picture, but she didn't think anything of it. She wondered idly if she should try and put herself in Tony's shoes, see herself from his perspective, try and decipher what about her he found so fascinating. Understanding him more might help her with her upcoming role. Was playing the type of woman that Tony wanted similar to how Antoine saw Lily?

Her thoughts of Tony and the movie were soon cast aside as she saw a tall man with blond hair and blue eyes making his way towards her.


Anna giggled as she walked down the narrow hallway, holding Gwen's hand and following her towards the back of the building.

"Where are we going? You said we were going to take a photo!" Anna said, laughing as she almost tripped over some boxes of empty wine bottles.

"Just come on!" Gwen said, dragging her along. They turned the corner and emerged on to the private loading dock in the back, the large garage door opened, letting in the warm air of the late summer evening.

"Isn't this cosy?" Anna joked, seeing Tommy, Green and some other crew members gathered around drinking and smoking.

"Welcome to the true party, ladies," Tommy said, bowing his head and sweeping his hand grandiosely across the parking lot. "Best view that money can buy."

"Well you can still see the CN Tower well enough," Green noted.

Anna laughed, nodding at the tall landmark well in the distance, the only clear building downtown that they could make out against the night sky.

"How are you?" Green asked, smiling and holding out a beer to her.

She hesitated for a second, then came to his side, accepting the offered beer and clinking bottles with him before taking a drink.

"A toast, lads, and ladies," Green announced, holding up his beer. "To the Paladin crew. Five glorious years and in the end you got a bloody t-shirt."

They all laughed and cheered, clinking bottles and taking long pulls. When they all arrived at the venue tonight, they were handed black t-shirts to wear for a huge group photo. Everyone had thrown them off the instant the shot was taken.

"We had a good run, yeah? A fucking good run," Tommy said, taking a marijuana joint out of his pocket and lighting it. He took a long drag, then passed it on.

Anna looked over at the lit joint, the scent of the drug sailing over to her. She took another drink of beer, watching as the joint got passed along and drew ever closer.

"You having a good night?" Green asked, smiling down at her.

She nodded and watched as he took the joint, brought it to his lips and inhaled. Holding the smoke in his mouth for a moment, he tilted his head back and exhaled a long plume of blue-tinted smoke into the air. She blinked when he turned and smiled at her, handing her the joint.

"I won't tell if you don't," he said quietly, his eyes bright, his smile playful.

She took the joint from him and looked at it for a moment. Everyone else continued on with their conversations, only Green watching her. She could smell the marijuana already in the air around her, feeling it wrap its tendrils around her brain. Looking away, she brought the joint to her mouth and smoked it, passing it on to Gwen quickly. She felt the heat fill her lungs, the familiar burn in her chest before she exhaled. Someone began telling a story about some hilarious mishap on the set from a previous season, and she laughed along with everyone, drinking her beer and adding to the story where she could. The joint came around the circle again and Green took a long drag and passed it to her, the pull going much easier the second time around. She felt his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned against him, smiling as she felt herself beginning to float, the buzz from the high and the drinks she'd had over the night taking hold of her. The stories continued and someone took out their phone and started taking photos. She smiled and laughed and revelled in the warmth flowing through her, Green's arm wrapped around her possessively all the while.


Mary laughed and touched Matthew's arm, smiling at him. They were off in a dark corner, leaning against a high-top table, having long left the dance floor. The music was still pumping and the party was still in full swing as the clock approached midnight, but they were happy to just be off to the side, spending time together.

"We promised we wouldn't take sides, you know," she reminded him, arching her eyebrow.

"Well, we have taken sides, haven't we?" he replied. "They're both suffering, darling. We have to do something."

"If we do something, it might make things worse," she said. "I know that Alex is hurting, and I hate that he is, but I've tried to talk to Anna about it and she hasn't really opened up. I don't blame her. I would probably hate to talk about it if I was in her position. I'd just want to forget the entire thing even happened. So, I just leave her be. She'll come to me if she needs me, that's all I can do."

He nodded resignedly, taking a sip of his drink.

"We can't save everyone, you know," she teased. "They need to work things out for themselves. You have far more pressing matters to attend to."

"Such as?" he asked, smiling at her.

"Such as the fact that this is our last night together for quite a while," she replied, arching her eyebrow at him. "I would think you would want to make it a memorable one."

"I do, indeed. That's why I can't wait to leave this lovely party so I can have you all to myself," he said pointedly.

She laughed and shook her head. "Is that all you have in store for me, then? Back to yours to be ravished into the early morning hours?"

"A bit of credit, please," he said. "There's more to me than just the best sex you've ever had in your life."

Her eyes went wide and she laughed incredulously at his cheeky reply. Arching her eyebrow and nodding her head, she leaned towards him to whisper in his ear.

"You've raised my expectations for tonight quite substantially now, you know. Not only will I expect amazing sex, but more besides," she said.

His breath was warm on her cheek, his voice deep and smooth in her ear. "Go on and fantasize about it, darling. You won't even come close to what's in store for you later, I assure you. I'm going to go and get you another drink. I think you'll need it."

Her pulse jumped and a shot of arousal coursed through her as she drew back and looked at his predatory smile. She finished the rest of her vodka and tonic as she watched him head over to the bar.


Anna grinned, looking up at the swirling coloured lights above as she danced, swaying back and forth to the music. She felt giddy and free, almost hovering above the floor. Laughter seemed to bubble in her chest, ready to fly out at any moment. She was so glad she had chosen this dress to wear tonight. It felt so soft on her skin, luxurious, like velvet, but not. This was what she needed – to let go of everything weighing her down and just live in the moment.

She felt large hands slide down to her hips and she giggled, looking up over her shoulder at Green's smiling face and shaking her ass a bit. She bit her finger, smiling at him before she stepped away and turned around to face him. He came forward and took hold of her again. She laughed and swatted his chest, then raised up to yell in his ear.

"Where's Rachel?" she asked, her eyes bright.

"She's working tonight, I think," he replied, smirking down at her, before leaning over again so she could talk.

"Does that mean you're not having a goodbye-fuck?" she asked, laughing madly as though she had just told the funniest joke in the world.

"We already did, earlier this week," he replied, his face awash with arrogant boldness. "It was nice while it lasted."

"So who's filling the void tonight?" she asked, laughing again.

"Haven't decided yet," he said easily. "Plenty of possibilities, so I need to be more discerning, or I suppose I could just take them all back to mine."

"You're so full of shit," she said, grinning at his stunned expression. "You expect me to believe you're that good, that you have all these women begging you for it?"

"Their words, not mine," he replied, leering down at her. "I guess you'll never find out, since you're married."

She frowned. "So? Rachel's married."

He grinned. "I guess you're right."

She smiled smugly at him, then put her arms up and kept dancing. He reached his hand out and placed it on her hip, pulling her closer a bit at a time.

"Mr. Green, I'm surprised you're still here."

Green let go of Anna and turned in surprise, realizing who had called him out.

"Tony left a while ago. I would have expected you to go with him," Mary noted, waiting for his answer.

"It's our last night here," Green explained with a smile and a shrug. "He let me off the leash for the rest of the night."

"Ah, I see. Well, do enjoy yourself, then. Anna, we're going," Mary called, reaching over and taking Anna's arm. Anna laughed and waved goodbye to Green as she followed Mary off the dance floor.

Green watched them go, raging at the sudden turn of events. He thought he had gotten her away from Mary and Gwen well enough. Shaking his head, he turned and left the dance floor himself, taking out his phone to see who he could hire to help make the night turn out in his favour.

Apartment of Matthew Crawley, Downtown Toronto, Canada, July 1, 2017

"Mary!" Matthew protested, awkwardly kicking off his shoes as he stepped backwards into the foyer. Mary's lips were locked on his, her hands throwing his suit jacket down to the floor and getting to work on his shirt buttons. "Just…hang on…just a second!" he pleaded.

She laughed wickedly, not stopping at all. "I'm only following your lead, darling. I'm eager to have the best sex I've ever had in my life."

He laughed nervously. "You will, you will, just wait. I promised you I had more planned for you than that."

She laughed and released him, removing her heels and letting him take her hand to escort her into the living room. They sat down on the couch and he reached for his laptop, grinning as she sat up on her knees and put her arms around him, kissing and licking his neck.

"If you could just focus for a second," he rasped, closing his eyes for a moment and enjoying her attentions. "I have something for you, a few things, actually."

"All right, let's see what you've got," she said, laughing at her innuendo as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"And you say I'm the ravenous one," he joked, smirking at her. He brought up a web browser so she could see.

"This is a flight pass for Iberia Airlines, containing numerous flight credits between Paris and San Sebastián, stopping over in Madrid," he explained, pointing at the screen. "Whenever you want to come visit, all you need to do is go to Paris-Orly and book your flight. It's all taken care of in advance so you literally just need to get your boarding pass and go. And it's in Business Class of course, so you need not mix with the unwashed masses."

She laughed and kissed him tenderly. "Oh, darling, that's perfect! Thank you so much. I don't know how much time I'll have to come down, but this makes it so easy."

"I should hope that you can spare a weekend at some point over the summer," he said.

"I will," she agreed.

"Good, because you can figure out what we can do by reading these travel guides," he said, switching browser windows and showing her an online cart of travel books on the Basque Country that he'd purchased for her. "Once you're settled, they'll be shipped to your place in Paris."

"Perfect. I'll just have Anna read them and show me the best bits," she said, laughing when he gave her a wry frown. "Next?"

"What makes you think there's anything else?" he questioned.

"There's always something else when it comes to you," she said, kissing him playfully.

"Well, I may have bought you a bikini or two, since I will be living right on the water, and San Sebastián is known for its glorious beaches," he explained, opening another browser window and showing her three different swimsuits.

She rolled her eyes. "Each one of them skimpier than the next. I may as well just go topless," she muttered.

"Well, Playa la Zurriola does permit nude sunbathing, apparently," he noted.

She smacked him on the chest. "Why don't we just record a sex tape and send it to The Daily Mail? It would be easier."

He laughed and closed his laptop. "All right, all right, now one last thing."

"This had better be good," she warned him.

He laughed and reached over to the small table next to the sofa and took out a small blue bag tucked underneath.

"Oh, Matthew," she exclaimed, blinking as he handed it to her.

"Happy Anniversary, darling," he said, putting his arm around her. "Thank you for giving me another chance last year. It's been easily the best year of my life."

She covered her mouth as a few stray tears escaped from her eyes. Reaching over, she turned his face towards her and kissed him deeply.

"Thank you for not giving up on me, and I don't mean just this past year," she whispered, grinning at him.

He held her as she opened the Tiffany bag and took out the iconic blue box within. Pulling the white ribbon loose, she opened the box and removed the pouch inside.

"Oh my God, Matthew," she breathed, staring at the white gold cuff bracelet with diamonds arranged in an infinity loop around the centre.

"I thought of you when I saw it," he said, kissing her neck lightly as he helped her slide it on her thin wrist. "Elegant, but modern."

"I see some symbolism here," she noted, smiling as she held her arm up and looked at the diamonds shining in the light of the room. "Putting a cuff on me, staking your claim, are you?"

He blinked. "No, no, not at all, I…"

"Matthew…" she interrupted him, kissing him again. "I love it. Thank you."

He smiled in relief.

"Now, would you like your present?" she asked, reaching for her clutch.

He blinked in surprise. "You got me something?"

She frowned at him in disbelief. "Are you saying you thought I would forget our anniversary?"

"N-no!" he recovered. "I just didn't know if you would make a big deal out of it, or…erm…I'm just surprised. You didn't have to get me anything."

"I most certainly did," she said, laughing as she took out her phone and swiped her finger across the screen several times. "Here."

He took her phone from her, a curious frown on his face. Looking at the screen, his eyes widened and he looked at her, his mouth agape.

"You'll need to get around San Sebastián somehow," she noted. "And I am told that the Basque Country has some outstanding roads."

He stared at the photo of the brand new road bike that Mary had bought for him. "This is incredible," he muttered.

"I stole a peek at the measurements on your current bike," she said. "This one's waiting in Madrid. You just need to call them and they'll ship it up once you've arrived."

"Thank you, darling, that's so thoughtful," he said, taking her in his arms and kissing her. "Maybe we can ride together when you come visit, or I can even bring this one with me up to Paris?"

"I don't know if I'm up to trying to keep up with you," she joked. "But yes, we need to figure out our schedules soon because I am not going all of July without you if it can be helped."

He laughed and kissed her again. "Nor I, you."

"So, about that amazing sex part of the evening," she teased, sliding across to straddle his lap. "What about it?"

"Why not?" he said, grinning as his hands cupped her bottom and he lifted her off the sofa. She laughed and kissed him, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bedroom.

Apartment of Mary Crawley, Trump Residences Toronto, Downtown Toronto, Canada, July 1, 2017

She was walking down the same hallway, somehow already aware of the destination. The sounds were growing louder, familiar, but different. She looked down at her bare feet, then up at the glowing light ahead, stepping into it and arriving in her bedroom once more.

Green was kneeling on the bed again, his muscles rippling as he pulled her back against him, drawing a cry from her with every thrust. She knew it wasn't Rachel this time. She knew exactly who was moaning and panting, taking all of him again and again.

As she came around and stared into her own delirious face, the scene seemed to shift, and instead of standing off to the side and witnessing what was happening, she was now in bed, sitting atop him, her hands on his chest, his on her arse, guiding her as she rode him.

Her eyes went wide in shock, her mouth falling open, desperate sounds spilling from her lips. It all felt so real. His warm skin below her fingers, his strong grip on her body, his leering eyes boring into hers.

"Say it, Anna," he snarled, and his voice was raspy and different, reverberating with an evil echo, a sinister tone. "Tell me what I want to hear. Tell me!"

Her mind seemed to be blank, no thought other than the intense pleasure he was giving her allowed to enter. She stared down at his eyes, fiery and unblinking. She couldn't look away or stop herself from moving her hips faster, giving in to the rapture that he used to take control.

"Fuck me!" she screamed.

With a startled gasp, she woke up, her heartbeat racing. She was hungry, and thirsty, and her head hurt. She reached over and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. 4 a.m. Mary and Matthew had brought her back here at just past 1, and she had collapsed into bed in short order. She was still drunk, and high, though she felt a little bit closer to normal than before at the party. Her head began to spin and she groaned, lying back down and turning on to her side.

The dream had been so vivid, as though she was somehow lucid during it. She could see it so clearly, even though she tried not to. It had to be a stupid coincidence that she thought about him in that way again. Something about being back in Mary's guest bedroom after having gone out and partying again triggered her subconscious to recall that last time she was in this same situation. That had to be it.

She cringed and shut her eyes, hoping the darkness behind her eyelids wouldn't morph into something else. Opening one eye, she grabbed her phone again and before she could think better of it, dialled his number and brought the phone to her ear. The call rang three times, and she was afraid she would end up with his voicemail. She didn't want that, for some reason. She wanted to talk to him.

"Hello? Anna?" Alex said, his voice heavy from sleep. "You all right?"

"H…hi," she whispered, sniffling as she felt the tears come. "I'm sorry to wake you."

"It's okay," he mumbled. "You're at Mary's?"

"Yeah," she said. "I'm all right…I just needed to talk to you."

"I'm here," he said, swallowing several times to clear his throat. "How was the party?"

She shut her eyes, trying to forget all about it. "It was fine. It was good, yeah. A lot of shenanigans. I'm really going to miss this lot."

"Well, you've been through a lot with them. Maybe you'll get to work with them again someday," he said, his voice lazy but lucid.

She paused, wiping her eyes. "Alex, I…I'm so sorry…"

"Hey, it's okay," he replied. "You…you've just got a lot to work out, that's all. I get it. I don't like it, and I don't agree with the way you're going about it, but I get it."

"I love you so much," she choked out, fresh tears pouring forth and staining the pillow. "I know it must not seem like it because I've treated you so badly, and been a total bitch, and a horrible wife, but I love you. I've never loved anyone like I love you. I just…that's why this is all so bloody hard. I wish I didn't feel like I do. I wish you could just fix it, I wish you could just fix me, but I don't know how to…"

"I love you," he said firmly, making her sob. "I love you, Anna May Smith-Lewis, do you hear me? I love you. Whatever you need from me, you've got it. I'll give you space. I'll give you time. You can call me whenever you want, about anything, even just to say hi, whatever. Just…go over there, work hard, have a great time, do what you need to do and I'll see you in London for the wedding, just like you said. It'll be fun, right? You love weddings."

"Yeah, yeah I do," she agreed, rubbing her eyes. "A Crawley family wedding in London. It'll be great."

"Love, can you do something for me?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll try, I…yeah…" she said.

"Are you in bed?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Just lie down. Lie down and close your eyes," he said soothingly.

She swallowed and turned her head into the pillow, closing her eyes.

"All right," she said.

"I love you. Have a safe flight and let me know when you land," he said.

"I will," she answered. "I love you too."

She sobbed again when she heard the piano and drums playing through her phone. Her hand covered her mouth, the lyrics easily coming to her mind before she heard them.

'I can hear her heartbeat from a thousand miles, hear the Heavens open every time she smiles, and when I come to her, that's where I belong, and I run into her like a river strong…'

The darkness became the Lancaster Ballroom at The Savoy Hotel in London, all the lights dimmed except for a single spotlight on the dancefloor, bathing her and Alex as they took their first dance as husband and wife.

'She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love. She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love…'

Crazy Love was their wedding dance. She always loved the 1970 Van Morrison song. He knew it from the R&B cover by Brian McKnight. Both of them assumed that their version was the only one, leading to a rather heated argument that was as passionate as it was silly. They often played both versions in the car.

She let the tears flow, listening to their song as it lulled her back to sleep.


Song Credit:

Crazy Love – Brian McKnight, (1995), Mercury Records