Welcome back, dear readers, to "Infinity Keeps Me Alive"
I plan on bugging you everyday for the foreseeable future.
Suspicion
A couple of days ago, Harry had briefly thought that his fourth first year would be a good one.
He was taking it back, that year sucked and his life sucked even more.
"Why am I doing this again?"
"Because you're crazy?" proposed Theodore.
Harry sighed.
Daphne and Tracey had cordially issued an invitation to join a study session they'd arranged with Hermione.
Which was fine by him, the time traveler had himself taken to work on his herbology and potion assignments with Neville. Inter-House unity for the win.
But the war veteran was far from dumb, he'd learnt to read between the lines and the whole thing reeked of a badly-veiled set-up.
"Come on, it can't be that bad… right?"
"What? You want to come?"
"Being stuck in the library with you, Tracey, Greengrass and a Ravenclaw? Sounds like fun, I'll pass."
"And before you ask, I'll stay with Theodore." hurried to said Nathaniel from his friend's bed. "You're on your own kid."
"Thanks Nat, I feel the love."
Harry, Daphne, Tracey and Hermione had gathered around a solitary table in a corner of the library, studying in silence.
Things had been pretty innocent so far, but the wizard's bad feeling had nonetheless remained. Feeling which soon turned into a blaring alarm when the girls exchanged a small nod, put down their respective books and faced him in perfect synchronization.
"Harry… we need to talk." began Tracey.
The time-traveler didn't know what they wanted yet, but it probably would be good for him. Which meant that he had to think things through… which meant that he had to buy himself more time.
"Dammit, the three of you are dating."
"W… WHAT?" chocked Hermione, her face turning a pretty shade of red. "No! And ew!"
Useless jokes wouldn't be his first tactic in most circumstances, but he wouldn't be able to outsmart those witches. He could only stall them and hope for the best.
"Stop joking Potter, this is serious."
"No, that's my godfather."
Daphne's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
Oops, tactical mistake. He would have to kick Padfoot for that blasted automatism.
Afraid to slip again, he accepted his fate and closed his Transfiguration textbook, focusing on the girls.
"Alright, what do you want?"
"We… we're worried about you." said the Ravenclaw.
Harry stared at her for a moment, before bursting into genuine laughter. Three firsties worrying about a war veteran… cute.
"Thanks Hermione, I needed that. Wait, you said we? Like… Greengrass' worried too?"
"Potter!" growled the blonde.
"Doesn't look that concerned if you ask me."
"Dammit Harry, shut that big mouth of yours and listen for once." demanded her childhood friend, in an unusually aggressive tone.
The wizard sighed, but complied.
"We noticed a few things and I… we..." hesitated Hermione.
"We have questions." completed Tracey.
"And we expect answers." concluded Daphne, looking dead serious.
Harry closed his eyes and expired slowly.
Those three wouldn't take no for an answer and he had no idea what they had seen or pierced together. He only had two choices, bullshiting his way out or telling the truth.
Bah, who was he kidding, it wasn't a real choice. He would just tell the truth whenever it was possible, and lie his head off for the rest.
"What do you want to know?"
"How are you sleeping, recently?" asked Tracey casually.
Harry sighed.
The question was useless, he knew from her eyes that she was perfectly aware of his answer.
"Theo told you?"
"About your nightmares? The ones from which you always awake screaming your throat out? He may have mentioned them, yes." she replied in a perfectly natural voice.
Then she smacked him upside the head and hissed so low that he wouldn't have been surprised if she'd spoken in parseltongue.
"You idiot, of course he told me. The question is, why didn't you?"
"Because there's nothing you can do to help me." he hissed back.
The brief look of hurt in her eyes made him feel extremely guilty. He didn't even dare to look at her friends, because he was sure that he would see the exact same disappointment.
"Look, I've been an orphan from age one and I had a crappy childhood. I'm damaged, okay? And now that I'm here, happily studying magic with my friends, I need time to adjust. I'm already working on it, but it's something of a long-term project."
"Harry..." sadly whispered the brunette, unshead tears in her eyes.
And now she was pitying him, great.
"So… you're meditating?" timidly asked Hermione.
"No, I'm studying Occlumency."
"WHAT?"
"Don't yell Greengrass, we're in a library." admonished Harry.
"Who's teaching you?" asked the witch, her voice lower but equally frantic.
"Nobody is, I'm learning from a guide book. I think the author's name is Naïsar Slihmer of something." replied Harry. "Not sure of the pronunciation though, I think it's Indian."
Daphne stared at him, a blank look on her face.
"Huh… what's Occlumency?" asked Hermione, a bit lost in the conversation.
"It's a mind art, to organize … well, the mind." explained the time-traveler. "It lets you isolate specific memories, control your emotions and identify mind-reading attempts. With enough training, you can even push back the attacker and cause him a brutal mental backlash. Guaranteed headache."
"Wizards can read minds?" yelped the Ravenclaw.
Harry could see that she was already wondering if an aluminum hat would help and decided to reassure his friend.
"More like… surface thoughts, feelings. Nathaniel can go a lot deeper, but he only ever used that on me."
"So he really watched your entire life?" asked Tracey, amazed.
"Sure, and he knows more about me than I can even remember." laughed Harry.
"Where… where did you find that book?" gasped a strangled voice.
"Back to earth, Greengrass?"
"Answer me, Potter!" growled the Slytherin.
"Bought it in Knockturn Alley by owl-post."
Sort of.
Hedwig had done the trip to the Alley, but only to drop a letter at Gringotts. He'd wanted to ask a few questions regarding his parents' will.
The book had merely been retrieved in the Room of Requirement, but Daphne didn't need to know that.
"I thought so." sighed the witch. "That was pretty reckless."
"Why?"
"It's Knockturn Alley." summarized Tracey. "Someone could have hurt your owl."
"Hedwig's a big girl and it was either that or unlimited nightmares until next summer, since I'm not leaving the castle for the holidays."
"He has a point." said Hermione.
"He didn't need the book." replied Daphne, slightly pissed. "I have the notes my father gave me. If he had just asked, I would have helped him."
"And how was I supposed to know that?"
The Slytherins' staring contest lasted five seconds tops.
"Fine, but I want to see that book." compromised the blonde witch. "Father gave me those notes because some authors just don't know their craft enough and I don't want you to study from some second-rate text."
"Sure." smiled Harry. "I finished it yesterday anyway, so unless you find some huge mistakes that must to be corrected, I don't really need it that much. I can just work on the exercises by myself."
"Do you mind if I borrow it, then? After it's checked, of course." asked Hermione, visibly still not that happy about the mind-reading wizards.
"Go nuts."
"Thanks Harry."
"You're welcome." he replied, before turning toward the other girls and asking a question of his own. "Can I go back to my Transfiguration now?"
"No, I said that we had questions, plural. You answered one." said the brunette Slytherin. "Yesterday, when we were late for Herbology, Nat helped you access a shortcut. I almost fell three times in that bloody tunnel and Theo did fell, twice."
She pointed an accusing finger at him.
"But you walked around just fine. You never hesitated or stumbled around, not once. Care to explain that?"
"I may have used it before." recognized Harry.
"When and why?" insisted Tracey.
"Tuesday and Friday, right before dinner."
"So you're not really exercising."
"I am." he corrected her. "Just not outside."
"You're running IN the school?" asked Hermione, eyes wide.
The wizard nodded.
"Nat's showing me the secret passageways. That blasted school's worse than a piece of Swiss cheese."
Hermione looked ready to shake him until he accepted to show her every last one of them, but a single frown from Daphne managed to hold her back.
"Good for you." said the Slytherin. "Now what's your problem with Professor Snape?"
"Snape? I don't have a problem with Snape."
"I think that's her point." explained Tracey. "The man hates you, hates your entire family in fact and is vocal about it, but you don't seem to mind. You don't even seem to resent him for that. And every time he walks into a room, you look –"
"Sad..." completed her best friend.
Harry looked at the ceiling and sighed. He couldn't possibly lie about that, but he couldn't really answer honestly either. It was impossible to tell them that he'd watched the Potion Master die, that he understood what he'd been forced to do for the sake of the Order…
So he settled for a partial explanation, one that he could justify.
"It's… complicated." he began hesitantly. "Yes, Snape hated my father, but I can't really fault him for that. You don't hate someone without a reason, even an immature one. I don't know what cause that hostility, but dad must have deserved it, if only partially."
"That's… true, I guess." recognized Tracey.
"But it goes deeper than that." he continued. "Snape hates all Potters, but I think that he liked my mother."
That earned him two 'What?' and a raised eyebrow.
"Not romantically." he lied, reluctant to provide his friends with that mental image. "But Flitwick –"
"Professor Flitwick!" furiously rectified Hermione.
"– told me the other day that Snape and my mom used to study together. They even worked as co-writers on a couple of essays, despite them being in different Houses."
"A Gryffindor and a Slytherin working together." mused Daphne. "It must have caused a few outcries."
"Right in the middle of Moldyshort's rise to power." nodded Harry. "Probably not their best decision. But from what I know about my mom, if she managed to find a friend in a man like that, he can't be all that bad. And every time I see him, scowling and sneering, acting all mighty, I just…"
"You're sad for him… for what he must have lost during the war and what he became because of it." summarized Hermione.
Silence could be a beautiful answer sometimes, and that's what he gave to Hermione.
"That's a pretty story, but what about Quirrell?" abruptly asked Daphne, voice even sharper. "You're always glaring at him, why?"
Now that was something he could answer truthfully.
"I don't trust him." spat the wizard. "That stutter of his looks way too perfect to be true."
"Sounded pretty convincing to me." said Tracey.
"Convincing, not genuine. It's happening way too often, on way too many words. Trust me, he's faking it."
"But… why would he do that?" asked Hermione.
"Not idea. But you remember what he said about all that garlic in his classroom? How it was to repel vampires?"
He received three nods.
"Well, I looked it up in the library. Garlic essence acts as a slow-acting poison to vampires, but the thing itself won't repel them a bit, except maybe if they're starving and completely exhausted. A proper DADA teacher would know that, so Quirrell's either a charlatan –"
"Or he's using the smell to hide something else."
"And one more point for Greengrass." said Harry jokingly.
"Don't make me hex you." threatened the witch in a growl.
"Fine… spoilsport." grumbled the amused wizard. "So, we're done with the interrogation yet?"
"One last question." countered Tracey.
Harry seriously doubted it.
At most, it was just a temporary mercy.
"What was the spell you used on Malfoy during flying class?"
"Petrificus Totalus, the Body-Bind Curse. Simple and pretty damn useful. It's in Vindictus Viridian's Curses and Counter-Curses."
"And why did you use it?"
"Because he was assuming." smirked Harry.
His fellow Slytherins stared, incomprehension plain on their face.
"What?"
"It's a muggle expression." explained Hermione. "Not a very polite one."
"When you assume, you're making an ASS out of U and ME." provided the wizard.
"Amusing." commented Tracey.
"Appropriate." he corrected. "Malfoy was mocking Ron Weasley and called him a lousy flier before he could even grab his broom. I'm not that friendly with Weasley, but Malfoy was shaming the House by acting all Gryffindorish… and thinking about it, I'll have to ask Nat if he can be resorted."
Hermione tried to picture Malfoy in Gryffindor robes… she smiled.
Daphne had conjured the same image and was trying to restrain a smirk, whereas Tracey admitted that it would be interesting to watch.
"Interesting?" snorted Harry. "Forget interesting, it would be bloody glorious."
"You pretty much bullshited your way around everything." commented Nathaniel later that night. "If I had hands, I would applaud."
"Not completely." winced Harry. "Most of it was true."
"But it wasn't even half of what you could have said, if you'd answered honestly."
"Thanks for the comfort."
"Hey, you gave me goosebumps first, with the excursion to the Room." the hat defended itself.
"You saw anything of interest today?" asked the wizard, not wanting to enter yet another interminable debate.
"A few of your housemates asked me some questions about the castle, miss Parkinsonlost a couple of points whenshe tried to bully some Hufflepuffs and mister Malfoy a couple more when he challenged your old Gryffindor friend to a midnight duel. Aside from that, Theodore and I saw Blaise in the park, alone and looking at a bunch of Ravenclaws from a distance. I don't know what he's planning, but his behavior isn't all that reassuring."
Not, it truly wasn't.
The dark-skinned pureblood was always watching the other students with a critical eye, trying to measure them. It furiously reminded Harry of Fleur and Viktor's attitude, back at the very beginning of the Triwizard Tournament and he didn't like that comparison one bit.
"We'll have to watch our back around him."
"Agreed."
