So many favorites and new followers, thank you! And thank you for the review psychovampirefreak! Another author rec for you all: Pavarti, her story The Fragrant taste of Rain had me in tears it's so amazing. Alright back in Alaska…
Disclaimer: Do not own anything.
Bella
We rested in the snow after our fervid lovemaking, the imprints of our mated bodies heavy in the snow. He looked up at me, his golden eyes seemingly able to pierce through my body and burn into my soul. He flung snow all around us making me laugh with my new musical voice. We fought in the snow ignoring the talk that we had to hash out, ignoring the fact that I was still so upset, and ignoring the burning need of lust still heavy in the winter air. He paced ahead of me and ran into the wilderness. I caught up to him and leapt onto his back, clinging to him like he was my lifeline. We ran through the snow until we reached a spot further from the house, and he pulled me around his body so that my legs were wrapped in front of him with our faces touching. My legs still clung around him, my arms around his neck.
He kissed me again, allowing our passion to ignite the cold forest. He pealed the shirt slowly and tortuously from my body. Pressing his fingers to every part of my body he too hurriedly had felt before. I let my fingers trace his scars again and down the path of his neck to his chest. Lifting the shirt from his chest I kissed his every scar again, licking the concave scars that were a touch lighter than our vampire skin. I felt him harden beneath me as he caressed. Slowly moving up the column of his neck back to his lips we undressed each other the rest of the way, me only hopping off of him long enough for both of us to disrobe. He placed me on the snowy ground yet again, this time taking his time with me. He licked and nipped at every part of me until my arousal swirled around us, making me anticipate the feeling of us being wrapped up in each other yet again. I stopped him when his fingers reached me and slid myself down so I was positioned right beneath his sex, licking and tasting him, etching the smell and flavor of him so deep in my mind that I'm sure I would never know anything else. I caressed his testicles while I tasted him, rubbing and massaging every intimate part of him feeling him get even harder above me. He rolled my nipples between his fingers and through my hair while I sucked him deep into my mouth. When he came, filling my mouth with his seed I sucked harder, hardening him again before positioning him so that he was inside of me.
We moved together, two pieces of a whole. I wrapped my legs around him again, letting my hands caress his back while he placed kisses on everywhere he could reach. I moaned as I felt myself getting closer to release, feeling my whole body becoming frantic with the depth of how deep inside of me he could reach. I screamed his name as I shattered; he was the only thing keeping me in my body. I felt him tighten then, coming inside of me again. I still wasn't satisfied. We made love for hours that day until waiting to have the inevitable talk. Before we could manage to begin talking though, I could feel Jasper tense.
"Something's wrong, everyone is on their way over to us. We need to get dressed. They are frantic and panicking. Esme and Carlisle are in such despair I can hardly feel anything else," he was bent at the waist, placing his hands on his knees as if he had just run a marathon.
I placed my arms around him, trying to leech out calming feelings to him, desperately trying to fix what was wrong with him. Franticly he ripped out of my arms; putting on his clothes and tossing me mine. I tried to hide my feelings of disappointment; he needed to know that he could trust me. I had to remember that he had enough on his plate already with whatever was wrong with the Cullen's…well us. They came to us then, I'm sure a human wouldn't be able to tell the difference in their faces but I could. They looked exactly as Jasper had said; everyone was clinging to each other, the anxiety clear in the air.
"Jasper, Bella, we need to talk now." Alice said so fast that even I barley caught it. We ran to the house, flying faster than the snow was currently falling, a blizzard occurring in our wake.
As we reached the house everyone converged in the large living room and situated in their "spots", I sat between Jasper and Alice. Jasper placed his tense arm around me, trying to give me comfort when he could feel none and Alice grabbed my hand. It was as if they were trying to tether the family together, everyone was touching slightly. Edward had his hand on Alice's knee, his shoulder touching Carlisle whose arm was intertwined with Esme who had her hand in Emmett's with his arm wrapped around Rosalie. I could feel the power of family heavy in the room, and it made me feel regret for the words I had spoken in anger before. Alice spoke, and every face was transfixed on her.
"They're coming…we only have a short time to prepare. We tried to give you both a little time together," she said glancing at both Jasper and me, "but we need to ready ourselves. Jasper, we need you a lot know. We need to prepare to fight the wolves. I can't see how many, but we have to get ready to battle more than were there the last time. How many were there when you met with them?" Alice looked to Carlisle for his answer. He looked pained at the thought of fighting anyone if even to save our lives.
"Only 3, but they pass down how to kill us from generation to generation. They were built to kill us, built to destroy all of us." I felt Jasper drift away from the group, leaving Alice to be my sole comforter. I saw him frantically pacing.
"What, exactly is going on?" I looked around at the faces around me. I had no clue who the wolves were that we needed to battle, but I felt dismayed. Why wasn't I allowed happiness anywhere? Just when I find a real reason to enjoy being a vampire and leaving behind everything I had previously known before it was getting ripped away from me. Even after one day of being together with Jasper I knew that I would never obtain again what we had together.
"We have 3 weeks to prepare for the Quileute wolves to come and attack. We broke the treaty by biting you and nearly killing you. They are going to come after us and are looking to eliminate us all. The only thing that Alice can see is us waiting and then everything disappears. She does not even know how many will come after us or how many of us will be left in the end," Edward's voice managed to stay strong through until the end of his explanation, but I caught him gripping Alice tighter, and the stricken look on everyone's faces.
I tried to fight through the haze of my human life to figure out if I still remembered anyone from La Push, but the only person I could think of was Billy Black. They started calmly and strategically planning, no need to write down the plan with our extensive vampire minds. Carlisle said he had already spoken with the Denali coven and they would arrive no questions asked to help us defend ourselves. We needed to find a way, any way possible to save both our lives and the lives of the wolves. Carlisle and Esme wanted no one's death on their hands. Although I was in favor of running and hiding, Emmett and Jasper were eager for a fight.
Jasper was in a deep conversation with Carlisle and Edward, while Esme still looked unsure on the couch. We were the only ones still in the spot that we had started in. I crossed over to her pulling myself out of my short reverie. I grasped both of her hands feeling the sting of venom in my eyes.
"I am so sorry for what I have caused your family. I-if there were any way for me to go back and not move to Forks I would do it, to save everyone this pain," I tried to speak as softly as I could so that only she would hear the words that were submerged in me.
"Bella, sweet Bella, fate brings us to obstacles every day in our long life. Who knows what else could have happened had you decided to stay in Phoenix? No one besides Carlisle and I agree that although we have passed on to become a different creature we are still subject to the world around us and choices beyond our control. They believe that without souls we are supposed to always be the responsible ones of the world. Consequences and choices affect us just as it affects all humans. Love is the one thing that can determine a vampire's entire being, and you are a part of this family, as Jasper's mate we love you too. We will make it through this, and if we do not, it is not the end. It will never be the end for any of us, as long as we are all together." I had my first taste of vampire sobs as I sobbed into Esme's arms that night. The motherly way she held me barley kept me from drowning in my own sadness.
Her words resonated so deep inside me and changed every single thing that I had previously thought about my new family. I knew then that I would fight my hardest to keep this family intact. Even if by being the strongest I would have to sacrifice myself to make sure they could stay together I would. I had no background of the wolves, but knowing that the family would teach me. I would use my strength to keep everyone else alive and that knowledge alone game me some sort of relief. I would do this!
Jasper and I hadn't been able to see each other for the day of planning, and I felt myself missing him. The family had taken a break to hunt or practice. I heard him playing a new song, his voice still calling to me like a siren song.
When the world gets too heavy
Put it on my back
I'll be your levy
You are taking me apart
Like bad glue on a get well card
I walked into his room without hesitation this time and curled myself in front of him, the venom stinging my eyes yet again. Was I really still this emotional as a vampire?
It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know
I started sobbing again. How could something so beautiful end so soon? We haven't even gotten a chance to properly love each other.
I'm a fly that's trapped
In a web
But I'm thinking that my spiders dead
Lonely, lonely little life
I could kid myself
Thinking that I'm fine
I knew he felt it too, having something so beautiful within reach before getting it all ripped away.
It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light
Blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know
I let his melody sooth me and wash away the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I determined then and there that I would make the most of our time together. We would have as much love as possible in these last few weeks.
That I'm skin and bone
Just a cane and rusty throne
Oh, the castle's under siege
But the sun outside says leave me alone
We may not get the chance to love each other for this life or any in the future, but like Esme said, if we passed on from this life there is always the next one.
It was always you
Falling for me
Now there's always time
Calling for me
I'm the light blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know
Blink back to let me know
He set his guitar down, the notes staining the air around us. I let him feel my love for him, giving him a silent signal to release some of the emotions he's forced to hold in. He let every feeling flood me, he knew I could handle it. I felt the every emotion from the whole family and let him release everything to me. He may have to calm everyone else, but I could find a way to sooth him.
The pain was nearly enough to stun me, but I held on until he felt better. I would be strong for the one who needed to be strong for everyone else. Together we could try to help the family like we helped each other. He kept hold of me on his lap while I helped him through his agony. When he finally released me I felt how much of a warrior he was. He was so strong. After he gave me a short time to feel normal again he looked down at me, it was time for us to get everything sorted out and in the open.
"I just want the rest of our time together to be as good as it can get. I know that you could feel the connection that I couldn't until I was a vampire. I know you didn't want to take me away from my family, and I have fallen in love with you. I can't imagine my life without you anymore." My voice came out in a rush. How do you tell someone you love them when you know that you may never get the chance to let it blossom.
I was nervous while I waited for him to tell me how he really felt about me. I wasn't naïve enough to think that just because we made love didn't mean he did love me, not matter what his family said. It was just so hard to keep up with his feelings.
"Bella, I am sorry for what happened. I do not apologize much, but what I did was so wrong and has caused so much pain. I knew how much I loved you the first moment I laid my eyes on you. Although I am terrified for the weakness of being in love with you has caused me, I also now realize how much of me relays on you. We may not make it out of this war alive, but I will love you until my demise." I felt so shocked at his words, moved again into tearless sobs. Someone held me together again, and as we made love on the floor of his room that night I knew that somehow, I was holding him together too.
A/N: The song that Jasper plays is Always by Panic at the Disco. I suggest you youtube covers of it to see how I imagine him playing it. It's amazing.
