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He threw open the doors to Unohana's office, formalities completely forgotten. One of the nurses had tried to stop him as he bolted into the hospital demanding to know where Unohana was.
"S-she's in her o-office.... Wait Hitsugaya-taichou you can't go back there!"
He raced towards the back, passing tiny Fourth Division shinigami and patients in wheelchairs and clutches. This part of the hospital was devoted for the intensive care unit but Hitsugaya didn't care as he pushed past people, knocking over files and equipment. He continued forward his mind concentrating on one thing.
Unohana-taichou. She would tell him the truth- he was sure of it- not these far-fetched lies that Kira and Hisagi had come up with. "It's not true. It can't be true. Matsumoto isn't..."
Unohana would explain that she had gotten to Matsumoto on time and had transported her to Soul Society. Matsumoto was probably sleeping- yes that's right- sleeping and resting and when she was better she would try to sneak away to a bar. He'd have to drag her back; threatening her to stay in bed otherwise a stack of paperwork would be waiting for her. Matsumoto would pout, just as she always does, and complain that he was being unfair and mean.
Hitsugaya just needed to find Unohana and everything would be alright.
Unohana looked up from her desk, her face collected not at all startled to see someone barging in.
"Where's Matsumoto?" he asked panting from the run. He had expected Unohana to rise from her seat, telling him that Matsumoto was just down the hallway and that he should be quiet- this was a hospital after all. Unohana however did nothing of the kind.
"Have a seat Hitsugaya-taichou," she said motioning to the seat in front of her.
He stared at her cautiously, realizing that this wasn't the respond he had expected. "Where's Matsumoto?" he repeated this time more forcible. "Where is my vice-captain?"
She sighed. "Please sit down. This may come as a bit of a shock."
Just as he had anticipated, Unohana told him the truth. She told him everything that happened when she arrived in the Fake Karakura Town- the uttered mess, the tense environment, the enormous bloodshed. At once she spotted Kira on the pavement, muttering softly to himself, muttering how utterly useless and weak he had been against his captain.
"It's alright Kira-fukutaichou," she had said gently placing a hand on his head. "You've done well; I'll take over from here."
"No, no you can't. There isn't anything here! I... failed..."
Unohana had noticed numerous collapsed building but it was one thing in particular that oriented her attention.
"Matsumoto-fukutaichou passed away," she said to Hitsugaya, choosing politer words to describe the indistinguishable figure that had once been Matsumoto Rangiku. It was her vice-captain's badge that made the corpse identifiable; otherwise it resembled nothing of Matsumoto's beautiful features.
Hitsugaya's face was downcast, his hands covering his face, making it difficult to see what emotion he was experiencing.
She mentioned some other stuff but Hitsugaya wasn't listening. He suddenly couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe or think or see or hear. The world had been abruptly instilled with darkness and he was left alone. She was gone- the person that he cared about and sought to protect was gone.
An inexplicable pain shot up his chest, crushing and engulfing, nothing like he had ever felt before. It felt like a hot dagger, slowly being pushed into his chest and he couldn't stop it. As much as he tried to hold back the dagger, as much as he tried to hold back the grief, it was futile. He had gone to desert to save Matsumoto. He had risked his life fighting the hollow-like Kurosaki and Aizen all in hopes of rescuing Inoue, all in hopes of getting a healer to Matsumoto.
But it was all pointless. All his hard work was pointless.
The invisible dagger moved to the side, intricately carving his torso. He gasped, trying to breathe at the unknown pressure but it continued to push deeper within him, the pain increasingly growing.
"She's not dead," he muttered softly, trying to push back the dagger. "She's not dead. Matsumoto's not dead." He continued- repeating each mantra louder and louder, the pain in his chest lessening. He closed his eyes tightly, using his logic to make some sense of the matter.
"Hey I know you! You're that kid from Roukongai... Isn't it funny how were always running into each other?"
"I'm right behind you taichou."
"After this war is over I'll throw you a big birthday party taichou! But remember you can't miss your own birthday party so we'll just have to make it through the war. Got it taichou?"
And he realized. It was preposterous, absurd. People like Matsumoto don't die. They just don't.
She was alive. Yes, Matsumoto had to be alive. Without a doubt, she was probably waiting- patiently waiting- for him to return from Hueco Mundo. When she saw him, her eyes would lighten- just as they always do- and she would run up to him, giving him those bone breaking hugs before looking over him and say, 'What took you so long taichou? I was getting tired of waiting for you.'
"I realize that this is difficult for you..." Unohana began, noticing his anxiety. She realized that he couldn't take more bad news. For the moment she would just keep the information to herself.
"Matsumoto is not dead!" he yelled. "Where is she?"
"Hitsugaya-taichou," she began, gripping his shoulders and causing him to look up. "I sincerely apologize for your loss but lying to yourself isn't going to do anything."
He blinked. He didn't understand why Unohana was lying. Why was she making such bold assertions, why was she tormenting him? This wasn't funny. The lie that everyone kept repeating was nothing but malicious and hurtful. It brought no humor.
Matsumoto was definitely alive. He knew it. Matsumoto would always be around, standing a few feet behind him, following him and supporting him like always.
-
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Orihime had a lot of things on her mind, despite being so heavily accompanied by Special Ops agents.
Like everyone else, she had heard the heart wrenching news: Rangiku-san hadn't made it. As she heard the news, Inoue felt an inordinately amount of sadness. Only last week she had been up all night watching movies and eating popcorn covered in ketchup with Rangiku-san. Though she hadn't known Rangiku-san for long, she had immediately created a bond with her. To Orihime, Rangiku was like the older sister she never had. Always willing to listen, to offer advice and support, to cheer her up whenever she was down.
If she were working on something, Rangiku would easily put it aside and urged her not to worry about it, she was more important than some silly paperwork.
But now she was gone and in its place she had left a void.
Inoue had sobbed, crying and realizing that it was her fault. If only she hadn't been lured into Hueco Mundo, maybe she could have been the one to save Rangiku-san- she had the ability after all. But instead of being there, instead of protecting her friends she was trapped in Hueco Mundo, completely useless.
"You're not going to get anywhere in life by thinking like that," Kuchiki-san explained. "Don't be blaming yourself."
She had ended up crying even louder.
"You still have your memories of Rangiku-san, so as long as you have that she'll never be gone."
Kuchiki-san was right. It might be difficult to accept the death of a beloved friend but blaming herself wasn't going to do anything. Rangiku-san wouldn't like that.
It was three days since she heard the news, and Inoue figured it would be best to pay her respects- but Rangiku had no family, her life before a shinigami was surrounded in mystery. She decided to see Toshiro-kun. From what she could tell both Rangiku-san and Toshiro-kun were rather close, beyond the relationship of a captain and vice-captain.
"You will be given two hours to visit Hitsugaya-taichou," the Special Ops agent said, a mask covering his face just as they entered the Tenth Division headquarters. "After wards you shall return to the Kuchiki estate."
"Okay."
After her arrival to Soul Society, she had been placed under house arrest. Granted, she probably would have been locked up, if Kuchiki-san's older brother, Byakuya-san, hadn't stepped in and pulled a couple of strings. Of course the aristocrat hadn't been too pleased- it was against the rules after all- but he wanted to get rid of the estrange relationship between himself and his sister.
The Special Ops agents had treated her kindly, allowing her to see Ishida-kun and Sato-kun, and they were starting to become more like bodyguards than guards.
Orihime took a breath before knocking on the door of the Tenth Division office, entering only when she hears a 'come in.' She tried to muster her best smile.
"Ah Toshiro-kun how are you?" she asked, poking his head into the messy office. The white-haired captain sat behind his desk, looking over books and documents. "Oh? I didn't think you would be working."
"Don't worry about it," Hitsugaya responded closing the book. "I was looking over some stuff on the... never mind." He suddenly noticed the presences of the Special Ops agents standing outside his door. His face became unusually serious.
"They're with me Toshiro-kun," she answered, perceiving the troubled look on his face. "I'm under house arrest in Kuchiki-san's house, so they have to follow me around. Sorry about that."
He had yet to be punished after bringing Harribel- a hollow- to Soul those Special Ops agents, Hitsugaya figured they were there for him. Nonetheless he was clear at the moment, so he bid Inoue to take a seat and called for tea.
She sat on the couch, while he took the armchair beside it. "I apologize for not having seen you since Hueco Mundo-"
"No don't be Toshiro-kun!" she quickly responded. "I should have come to see you sooner."
They talked for a bit about trivial things until finally Orihime couldn't take the idle chit-chat.
"Toshiro-kun," Inoue began awkwardly. She didn't know what reaction she could expect from him. "I heard what happened to Rangiku-san... and I wanted-"
"What are you talking about?" he asked taking a sip of his tea.
Inoue blinked, surprised by his reaction. "I-I... thought you knew."
"Know what?"
She paused. Did he honestly not know? She of all people didn't want to break the news to him, so she settled for looking about the office until she noticed a stack of folders on the second desk, Rangiku's desk.
"Toshiro-kun what are those folders doing on that desk?"
"That's Matsumoto's work," he answered as though it were the obvious thing in the world. Hitsugaya looked up at her, his brow raised. "Why are you acting so weird?"
Orihime said nothing.
Within the next couple of days, Orihime got permission to visit Hitsugaya. It was only for two hours a day and the Special Ops agents were always waiting diligently outside the doors, but she figured whatever time was good enough. Though Hitsugaya began to roll his eyes, mentioning that he was getting behind on his work with these constant interruptions, Orihime thought it was necessary.
They were walking through the training grounds of the Tenth Division, when Hitsugaya explained his current dilemma.
"The commander-general still won't let me see Harribel," he confessed, trying to recall her green eyes. It had been roughly a week since he had last seen her, and though he had been reassured that she was alright- and felt her soothing presence- he hadn't been allowed to see her. Maybe they were afraid that he would break her out or something, but Hitsugaya had been forbidden from going into the deeper parts of the Fourth Division, where Harribel was located.
"What's worse nobody tells me about Hinamori. I don't know where she is."
Hitsugaya sighed again before glancing over his back.
"Who are you looking for Toshiro-kun?" Orihime had quickly noticed this bizarre behavior. Every so often he would look behind his back as though expecting someone to be there. "Are... are you looking for Rangiku-san?"
"C'mon it's starting to get cold."
Hitsugaya continued like this, choosing ignorance rather than facing reality. The folders and paperwork on Rangiku's desk would be steadily growing and he would continuously glance over his back. Other times he would pass by Rangiku's favorite bars or her favorite shops. It was as though he believed that Rangiku was away on some mission and that she would be returning, any day now, to her duties as vice-captain.
And whenever Rangiku's name was brought up or the possibility that Rangiku was forever gone, Hitsugaya immediately changed the subject or else left the room.
Hitsugaya was in denial.
Orihime had experienced the same thing, after her brother had passed away. She remembered that for days she would set a table for two and cook dinner for two and wait patiently by the window, expecting her brother to return from work. Hitsugaya was probably experiencing the same thing.
The death of Rangiku was too painful, too traumatic, for him to bear; so he convinced himself that everything was normal. He convinced himself that nothing had changed; everything was the same as before. Matsumoto was alive, if only gone temporarily, and she would return just as she always does. He didn't understand why people offered their condolences, why some entered with teary eyes or sad smiles.
He would question why everyone was acting so weird before continuing on with his work.
Denial was making him cope through the pain.
It was better, easier to live in another reality- to lie to oneself- instead of accepting the truth.
"Excuse me Hitsugaya-taichou," a shinigami interrupts, clutching a large yellow envelope. Hitsugaya peers over the blank yellow envelope before opening it.
Of course one cannot live in ignorance forever.
There has to be a breaking point.
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Harribel opens her eyes to a white ceiling. Her mind is distorted and dizzy from the extensive blood loss, making her surroundings nothing but a distinct blur. Back and forth she struggles to maintain consciousness, but trying to stay focus is hard. Her head aches and it is so difficult to think and concentrate.
"Where... am... I?"
Something's wrong. This isn't the typically feeling of fatigue; rather it feels as though her senses are dull. It feels as though something is depriving her mind, making it slow and sluggish, and in turn reducing the normal function of her body.
"I've been sedated."
That's the only explanation for her weaken mind. Someone had drugged her, so she wouldn't be able to think or move as quickly, so she could be easily under control.
She tries to think back, tries to imagine what had happened before she was put into this state. But repeatedly her mind returns blank, as blank as this white ceiling. But there is something important she has to remember.
Harribel closes her eyes, her long yellow eyelashes gleaming in the moonlight.
Briefly she thinks about her fraccion, but their faces only brought her pain- not the usual beam of happiness and protectiveness as before. She thinks of Aizen, though her mind didn't stay to long on that bastard. What was it then? What had she forgotten?
Harribel glances to her side, meditating on the question when suddenly the answer jumps at her. The yellow kimono she is wearing had been torn and bloody after her fight with Aizen. It is rip diagonally so that the left sleeve is missing, exposing her bare shoulder. And in her bare shoulder she sees something- dirty and bloodstain- wrapped around her collarbone.
"Toshiro!"
It was his white haori that he had easily ripped in an attempt to save her. He had saved her- though he continuously denied it- and because of it she was in his debt. She had gone specifically to Hueco Mundo to help him save his vice-captain and repay her debt, but somehow she had ended up even more in his debt.
"Just be quiet, okay? I'm gonna get you out of here."
He had saved her again, arguing with his colleagues, and insisting that she was more important than any mission. Harribel felt a slight warmth and confusion in his actions.
But where was he now?
She tries to sit up but just like the drugs on her mind, her body is immobilized. Whoever has sedated her had made sure to strap her down on the bed. Thick leather bands are tied meticulously on both her wrists and ankles, while two other bands hold down her waist and chest, kept her from moving at all.
"Where the hell am I? Where's Toshiro?"
And then as though her question had been muttered out loud, she drastically feels a disturbance in his spiritual energy.
Harribel had an acute sense of spiritual energy and could recognize familiar spiritual energy, despite the distance. Though they had known each other for a short period of time, by now she could easily recognize Toshiro's spiritual energy, but just now she felt a sudden flare of his spiritual energy.
Extreme emotions were one of the many reasons why spiritual energy became interrupted, and from what Harribel could tell Toshiro was deeply upset.
No it wasn't only that. Something was causing him great pain, crippling pain.
For some reason the thought that he was in pain, troubles her. For some reason she feels a rejuvenating amount of energy, fueling her soggy mind and removing her from her drugged state. Suddenly she had to see him.
Harribel attempts to yank her arms, kick her legs, shift her weight up and down on the bed; but the brute force can't break the bonds. She could only struggle again and again, trying desperately to free herself.
"Let me out!" she yells, thrashing about wildly. "Let me out!"
Immediately the door bursts open and two people rush in, both wearing white lab coats. "Get a stronger dose!" At once the other doctor leaves the room.
"Where's Toshiro?" she continues struggling against the bonds.
"That doesn't concern you Espada," the doctor answer coldly as a cart of medical equipment was rolled into the room. The doctor held a small liquid vial above her head when suddenly it shattered into pieces; other vials also blow up as the liquid within the glass spins frantically. The doctors yelp out in pain, running out of the room in search of assistance.
"Let me out!"
Without Tiburon she couldn't use water as a weapon or shield. The thought of Toshiro's tribulation worries her, and so she cannot stop. She has to find a way out.
"Please calm down Harribel-san."
Her green eyes darted to the doorway to see the girl, Inoue Orihime, whom they had rescued in Hueco Mundo. The girl quickly approaches her, untying the bonds with trembling hands.
"Toshiro-kun's disappeared Soul Society," she said exasperated, fear in her face. "I-I... think he's looking for Ichimaru Gin."
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