A/N. Hi everyone! Quick chapter here, hope you guys like. Don't forget about the poll (so far Stania is winning) and I have trailer scripts for these two stories that I'll post on my profile soon so you guys can keep a lookout for that. Enjoy :D
I don't own the Avengers
Chapter 9
"It's… exactly what it looks like," Steve replied hesitantly.
Tania couldn't take her eyes off of the painting in her hands. It was beautiful. It was also of Peggy Carter. The agent wore black trousers and a dark brown zipped up leather jacket with a light grey collared shirt and green tie underneath. Her hair was down and her lips were ruby red. The painting was only of the knees and up. She held a machine gun in her hands facing the ground as she stared at something in the top left corner of the canvas. She looked determined and frankly somewhat pissed off. Everything about the piece screamed, "I'm in charge".
And it was so realistic. Tania felt like she could reach out and touch the woman's hand if she wanted to. But she didn't. Because this was the woman Steve had loved just a few months before. Had it really only been a few months? Technically it was approximately seventy years, but to Steve…
She turned to face him. "And… why was it hiding?" She could barely hide the apprehension and fear that he would always love someone else more than her in her voice. Her throat had all but closed up and her eyes were starting to well with tears. She would rather die than let them fall though. Okay, so that may have been an exaggeration. But still.
Steve spun his stool around completely so that they were face to face. "It wasn't. You found it easily enough."
"But it was behind two other paintings."
"So?"
"Did you not want me to see it?"
"If I didn't want you to see it, I wouldn't have hidden it in our gallery."
Tania bit her lip. "If you don't mind my asking… why did you pain this?" She held up the canvas in her hands.
Steve shrugged. "I… had a dream." He turned around and went back to his newest creation. Tania wasn't satisfied with his answer.
She stepped closer. "A dream… about Peggy?" Her voice was starting to waver. She prayed that he didn't notice.
"About life back then. When I woke up… that image stuck with me. I had the urge to put it on a canvas so that I wouldn't forget. I couldn't live with myself if ever forgot what it was like back then." He hung his head, his arms going limp at his sides.
"You won't forget. You think about it too much."
He gave a dry laugh. "That's what you always say."
"Well it's sort of true. I mean, on every date we've ever been on, you reference your time back in the forties."
He spun around to face her again. "Name one time."
"Our first date. You took me to the war museum and we stared at nineteen-forties relics for three hours. The other day, when we went to the park. You said, 'when I was a boy, we didn't have this and that…' blah, blah, blah. You took me to go see a silent movie playing in the mall parking lot that was in black and white. When we-"
"Okay, I get it!" He raised his hands in defeat. "I talk about too much. I just won't tell you anything then." He went back to his painting.
Tania sighed and put down the depiction of her boyfriend's lost love. She moved forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, placing her chin on his left shoulder and kissing his cheek. "I'm not saying you shouldn't talk about it, I'm just saying that you bring it up so often that it makes me wonder… have you really moved on?"
"Of course I have!" he responded immediately.
"Have you ever really thought about it before answering? Steve, you're adapting, not moving on. There's a difference."
"Enlighten me," he deadpanned.
This was not going well. "You adjust to the lifestyle here, but you're still suffering from the loss of your past life. It's been almost three months since you woke up here. It's time to let go. I thought you might've when you finished that sketch of her last month, but apparently not. You know how to use a cell phone and the TV remote and are up to date on social media and pop culture references – but there's a part of you that wants to go back. He wants to go to sleep and wake up in the forties with his original friends and… and girlfriend," she whispered, slowly pulling away.
Steve grabbed her hands and held her there, making sure she didn't leave. He craned his neck to look her in the eyes. "Tania… I can't go back."
"But does that mean you don't want to?"
"I will never go back."
"But do you want to?"
He opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. She waited patiently for about a minute before she sighed and let go of him, stepping back.
"Steve, if you can't let go of the past, then maybe we shouldn't… we should stop. At least until you can stop thinking about her."
"What?! No!" He stood up and marched forward, taking both of her hands in his. "We can't! I love you Tania. You have no idea how much. I could never leave you. Not for anything. And I couldn't stand to lose you too."
"Is it about losing me, or is it about losing more than you've already lost."
"Both," he replied without hesitation. "Look, I'm trying, okay? I… I've been dreaming about them… her… for the past week or so. I haven't told you because I was afraid of this. I was afraid that you'd think I didn't love you but I do. I love you with all my heart and nothing will ever change that. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. You have nothing to worry about. They're just dreams and I'm sure they'll go away."
"You should have told me. I'd rather that than you hiding stuff from me."
He rubbed his thumb across the back of her knuckles lovingly. "I know. I'm sorry. I just… you're my everything."
Tania's solemn eyes gazed up at his sad ones. She leaned in closer. "You're my everything too."
She went up on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to his, taking her right hand and placing it on the left side of his neck, just below his ear, with her thumb along his jawline. Both of his arms wound around her waist and pulled her closer, pressing their bodies together.
This was kiss was different than all the other times. Steve was trying to prove himself to her and Tania felt that she needed him. She wanted him so badly. The kiss was desperate, pleading for forgiveness. Their mouths moved and pushed and tongues danced as it became more intense.
Steve's right hand went to the back of her head and started to fumble with her elastic. Without breaking physical contact, Tania reached behind her and undid it for me, letting her brown hair tumble around her shoulders. He tangled his fingers in the strands and caressed the back of her head, keeping his grip on her firm and protective. He would not let anything happen to her. Ever. He couldn't.
He had grown extremely dependent on her, almost like how Tony couldn't go a single day without Pepper doing everything for him, except for Steve it was different. Tania grounded him. She calmed him when he was angry and stuck with him whenever he did something wrong. She never made him feel embarrassed (he did that all on his own) and she could make him blush in ways no one else could. She understood the majority of his "old" sayings and taught him how to live in the twenty-first century. She was always there when he returned from a mission, with open and waiting arms. She was just… she was perfect.
His lips moved from her mouth down to her throat as he kissed a line below her ear. He heard her shiver and held her tighter.
Before he had been injected with the serum, Bucky had shown Steve several of what people nowadays called, "hickeys". He had never liked the idea of "marking" someone as theirs. It seemed incredibly possessive and painful for the one being bitten.
That thought flicked through his mind as he kissed her collarbone. His opinion on that matter hadn't changed a bit. But that didn't mean he wasn't curious. He wasn't going to try it now though, they had to discuss it first before he did anything risky like that. In his mind, anyway.
Tania slid her left hand up his back and into his soft hair, holding his head in the spot that made her arch her back and neck towards him. And then suddenly they were walking – stumbling more like it – into the door. She was just shy of slammed against it in what was probably the least painful way possible as his mouth found hers again. Oh Steve, so careful. It was just one of the things she loved about him.
They kissed feverishly as she fumbled with the handle. With this floor being Steve's, Tony had made sure that all the doors were manual instead of automatic. However in times like these, the couple wished it were the other way around.
When she finally got the stupid knob to open, she almost fell backwards as the door swung away from her. She gasped and gripped the back of Steve's shirt to prevent herself from falling; but she had no need. His strong arms held her securely and she barely budged. That seemed to turn her on as she began to nibble on his earlobe, which made him grunt.
They stumbled backward into the hallway and then down a bit, making their way subconsciously to his bedroom. The handle was easier to open this time and they entered. Tania shed her blazer and then interlaced her fingers behind his neck. She stepped backwards until the backs of her knees hit what she hoped was the bed and she tumbled onto it.
She let out a small squeak, thinking that Steve would land on top of her, but he spun them around mid-air so that she was on top instead. They bounced safely on the mattress, with her hair falling into his face and both her hands on his chest now. They were both panting hard.
Tania Banks, an average woman, had made the super soldier who did not tire easily, short of breath. She couldn't help but smirk. His eyes darkened and he rolled them over so that she lay below him and kissed her hard. They made out for several minutes, drinking each other in and apologizing with their body language.
His hand was making its way up her bare thigh and under her skirt when he pulled away roughly. The sound their lips made as he did so was a loud, "SMACK". His hand froze where it was, unable to go any further.
Tania threw her head back on the pillow and groaned. "So close…" she whispered.
He chuckled and removed his hand, rolling over so that he was on her left and that their noses were millimetres apart. "I'm sorry, Tania. Really I am."
She sighed. "I know, I know. You want to wait until marriage."
She stared up at the ceiling as she calmed her heartbeat down, breathing through her mouth. Steve caressed her right cheek and gently turned her face to his. "I want to. Trust me, I really do. Sometimes I want you so badly it hurts. But something inside of me is telling me to stop. Like it would be a crime."
"Back then, it probably would have been. But now it's a crime to still be a virgin when you do get married. Well, kind of."
"I know."
They spent the next couple minutes staring into each other's eyes, blue melting brown and brown liquefying blue. "Just… just promise me we'll do it one day. Go all the way."
"Did you…? Did you just propose?"
Tania was blushing from her head to her toes. "Wha-? No! No I didn't!" she turned away so that her back was to him. "Nevermind. I never said anything."
There was a slight pause before Steve laughed. Tania felt her temperature rise even more from embarrassment. She sat up and pushed herself to her feet. "I'm gonna go." She started walking towards the door.
"No, wait!" She heard the rustling of sheets before he had a hold of her wrist. "I'm sorry. You're just so adorable when you blush." Of course, that only made her blush harder.
She turned to face him. "Yeah well, it's even cuter when you do it." She tapped his nose and laughed. He joined in, and then suddenly things were okay again. Even if they had to discuss his problems on moving on again some other time, now they just wanted to be together and happy.
