AN: Apparently, my last AN wasn't clear. Yes, this will be HEA. :)
Chapter 9
Bella's cell rang. She'd left it on the sofa before heading outside. She'd needed some space, she'd said . . . a few moments to wrap her mind around everything she'd just been told. Edward understood, and while it killed him that she needed some distance, he took comfort in the fact that she'd only asked if she could get some air.
The former occupants of the house had kept a tiny garden in the back yard, and even though they'd been gone for months, the grass wasn't so overgrown that Bella couldn't sit on the wooden bench surrounded by wildflowers.
What he wouldn't give to read her mind, just for a second.
Edward stood at the window, watching over her, as she stared down at the flowers at her feet. Her cell continued to ring, reminding Edward that she had a father who wouldn't stop searching until he found her. And when he did, Bella would have no choice but to go with her dad.
She should be with her family.
Edward knew this, and yet, he couldn't help but wish things could somehow be different.
But they couldn't be. The Volturi had made sure of that.
He found it ironic. All these months, he'd been looking for a way to die. Now he'd found a reason to live, and that reason was sitting in his back yard.
Murdering those boys had been stupid and impulsive. He realized that now. He would have protected Bella from them. He would protect her for the rest of her life. Being together wasn't an option, but he could still stay close. He could watch her grow older and go to college. He could watch her fall in love, have children . . .
Pain, unlike anything he'd ever felt, hit him like a bolt of lightning. He'd thought that being turned was the worst physical pain he'd ever experience, but the thoughts of watching Bella love someone else was unbearable.
But he'd do it. He'd do it for her.
The minutes crept by, and an hour later, she was still outside. At one point, she reached for one of the flowers and pulled it from the ground. She played with the petals before gently blowing them into the breeze.
Bella turned her head, and their eyes met through the glass. With a deep sigh, Bella rose to her feet and walked back into the house, letting the door quietly close behind her. She leaned against the door.
"My mom ran off with my dad when she was sixteen years old," Bella said. "They were hopelessly in love, and she was pregnant with me. Now they're divorced, and I swore I'd never give my heart away to just anyone. That I'd be sure that he would be all I ever wanted, because I don't want to end up like my parents."
Edward nodded.
"You think I'm too young . . . too human . . . to know what real love is, and maybe that's true. I don't know. But I do know that I can't imagine my life without you in it. That's what I was doing out there. Trying to decide if I could stand being away from you. The only reason I didn't come in sooner was because I knew you were watching through the glass. I felt you. I didn't even have to look to see if you were there, because I knew you were."
Edward smiled softly. "So it wasn't a true test. I'm sorry about that."
"Don't be." Bella took a step closer and took his hand. "We have some decisions to make, though."
Her cell rang again, and she sighed.
"I'm sure that's your father."
"Yeah," she whispered. "If we ran away, where would we go?"
"Bella, I'm not asking you to run away with me. I told you what kind of life you'd have."
"Maybe that's the kind of life I want."
"How could you possibly know that?"
She bowed her head, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"Maybe someday," he murmured, lifting her chin with his finger. "And as much as I love you, and as much as I want you with me, I need you to be sure. Because you can't undo it, Bella. Once you're dead, you're dead. I wouldn't have chosen this life. Can you understand?"
Her brown eyes filled with tears. "Change me."
"No, sweetheart," he said softly. "I won't take your life before you've had the chance to live it."
"But you'll leave?"
"I have to, for a while."
He leaned close, brushing his lips across her forehead.
"We could make it romantic," Edward whispered against her skin. "We'll set a date, and I'll find you, no matter where you are. And then, if you still want me . . . if you still want this life . . ."
"You'll change me?"
Edward closed his eyes. "Yes."
"But how will you find me?"
"I'll always find you, Bella."
Edward pulled her back toward the sofa and tugged her into his lap. As she straddled his hips, he buried his face against her neck. Very slowly, he ghosted his lips against her throat, making her moan softly. Bella's fingers dug into his hair as she desperately clutched him closer. His tongue swept along her neck, and she groaned his name.
"I love you," her murmured against her cheek.
"I love you."
His mouth molded to hers. Tears spilled down her cheeks as they kissed deeply, hungrily, desperately . . . until finally, he pulled away.
"Graduation day," Edward said.
She smiled excitedly. "That's only a few months away!"
"College graduation, Bella. I want you to go to college. Make friends. Do all the things I wish I could do."
"But you can do that."
"You know what I mean."
She nodded.
"But how will you find me?" she asked again.
Edward placed his hand on her cheek.
"I'll always find you, Bella."
His strong arms enveloped her, and she laid her head upon his shoulder.
"So sleepy," she whispered. What an exhausting, emotional day.
"Sleep, sweetheart."
And so she did.
Bella tugged the blanket closer to her chin. She smiled, warm and relaxed, until she realized it wasn't her blanket. Or her bed.
Her eyes snapped open.
Edward's living room was dark except for the tiny lamp that filled the room with a soft yellow haze.
She didn't look around.
She didn't say his name.
She knew he was gone.
Her cell rang, and Bella pulled herself up. She glanced toward the end table to find her phone.
Tucked below it was a folded note.
Bella ignored the call and reached for the letter, carefully unfolding it. Tears swam in her eyes as she began to read.
Bella,
Please don't be mad at me. The thought of saying goodbye to you was unbearable. I'm a very selfish creature, as you can see.
I checked your gas gauge. You have more than enough to make it back home. Please call your father. I'm sure he's worried about you.
I want to thank you for keeping me from making the biggest mistake of my life.
Please be happy and know that I'm never far away.
Graduation day.
Four years.
What's four years in exchange for a lifetime together?
If that's what you want.
No matter what, I will always love you, and only you.
Forever,
Edward
