A/N: I was downloading U2 on my iPod the other day because I noticed I barely had any. And I heard this song, which is a great song, and I decided Jess Mariano could fit somehow.
Standard disclaimers apply.
I have run, I have crawled,
I have scaled these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found
What I'm looking for
- U2
But Yes, I'm Still Running
He has to leave New York, there's no other option. Rent is getting to be too goddamn expensive, and these mindless jobs just aren't cutting it anymore. He needs more, and apparently New York City isn't going to give it to him.
But where the fuck is he going to go?
He goes back to his shitty apartment, and of course no one is there except for the nameless guy (Jess thinks his name is Creed, but he may have misheard) who's underneath pounds of blankets. Jess wonders what he does for a living. He's pretty sure it's related to drugs since he only goes out at the dead of night, and he comes back with a ton of cash. But whatever, it's none of his business.
Jess starts gathering his belongings, stuffing everything into that one duffel bag. With his last paycheck in his back pocket, he has enough money for a bus outside of New York to another city on the east coast. But where can he go?
He pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights one, inhaling deeply. He rarely gets to indulge in cigarettes anymore, so he doesn't smoke as much as he used to. But he hopes it'll help him think.
"Ugh, put that shit out," Jess hears, nearly making him jump.
Right. Nameless Kid. Jess doesn't think he's ever heard him talk.
Jess ignores him and continues smoking.
"Seriously. It smells like shit."
Jess looks over at him, and he's surprised to see a young face peaking out from all the blankets. He has to be as young as Jess, maybe even younger. But it could be the dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes that make guessing his age difficult.
"I'll be gone in a few minutes," Jess says before taking another drag.
"You're leaving?"
He blows out smoke. "Yeah. Rent is too expensive."
The Kid nods. "Pity. You were my favorite roommate."
Jess looks at him funny.
"You minded your own business. I don't think you even know my name."
"…I think it's Creed or something."
The Kid laughs. "It's Dean."
This time Jess lets out a laugh of his own. "Dean." He brings the cigarette to his lips. Dean the Jealous Green Giant…
"Have you ever been to Philly?" Dean inquires.
Jess shakes his out as he breathes out more smoke.
"Well if you happen to stop by there…it's just a cool city. Grew up there. I would totally move my enterprise there just so I could live there, but I figured NYC always has a good rep, so what I do won't really tarnish it. It would tarnish Philly since it has such a bad name. But everyone doesn't get that it's actually great. Or at least has the potential to be great."
Jess finishes his cigarette and he squishes it on the rug where he had been sleeping for the past few months. It's almost like leaving his mark.
"See ya," Jess says before walking out of the room. He knows he'll never see Dean again, but whatever. You never know.
He walks down the streets of Manhattan, feeling a little sad. He hoped that maybe this city could finally give him something back, but after seven months of working, searching, walking, everything, he realized that all these constant reminders of who he was (and still is) are driving him insane. There's his mom holding five-year-old Jess' hand while walking to the grocery store. There's thirteen-year-old Jess running like hell after pinching his first pack of cigarettes.
There's Rory at that hotdog stand. There's Rory in that music store…
That's it. He's done with this dirty, fucked up, bright, alive city. He needs something new.
And he knows exactly where he's going to go.
A/N: You guys are amazing! Thank you for your suggestions – the expansion of my music library was much desired. And I was inspired to write about things I never really thought about writing, which is the most important thing, right?
Please review!
MissGoalie
