May 7, 2013
There's a small park across the street from the new apartment, so after all the boxes are stacked in the living room, they agree to take Henry and call Mary Margaret and David to come meet them for a picnic. It's a beautiful day out, the kind where the sun is shining bright and strong, but a cool breeze keeps you from getting to hot, and it's easy to lose track of time as you sit outside. David pushes Henry higher and higher on the swings while Mary Margaret lays the food she brought on the picnic table, her hand drifting every so often to run over her growing belly, and Emma can't help but smile.
"Whatcha thinkin?" she says playfully, sneaking up behind Killian and wrapping her hands around his waist, lips pressed quickly to his shoulder blade.
"Do you…" he pauses, swallowing as one hand runs over hers while the other scratches nervously behind his ear. "Do you ever think about doing it again?" She gives him a quizzical look and he sighs. "Having another kid."
"Not really," she says, shrugging, but she catches a glimpse of disappointment flit through his eyes and she turns him to face her. "Killian, I don't mean… I just meant that I hadn't really thought of it because until you, until us, there wasn't anyone in my life I would want to do that with. And I hadn't really thought about it for us because, I don't know, we're already moving a little fast."
"I know," he sighs, looking away from her to where Henry giggles with glee as he soars higher and higher on the swing.
"Killian…" she answers in a concerned tone, her hand rubbing up and down his arm to try to soothe him and bring his attention back to her. "Hey, it's only been a few months, we've got forever for that, there's no rush. Let's just take this one step at a time. And today should be a happy one, we're moving into our new apartment, a nice one, and –"
"I know, Swan. I'm very excited about it all, I was just thinking…" He smiles at her weakly and places a soft kiss on her cheek before he pulls away, walking over to David and Henry.
"Something wrong?" Mary Margaret asks tentatively, giving Emma a very sisterly look of concern.
"Not, not exactly," Emma replies, and Mary Margaret raises an eyebrow in response, making her sigh in resignation. "Killian asked me if I wanted to have another kid, and I told him I'd never thought about it."
"Oh Emma…" Mary Margaret chided, shaking her head gently.
"What? I haven't. It's just, we only started seeing each other a few months ago, and he just got divorced, and now we're moving in together. Why can't we just take things as they come? I mean, we're already a family, me, him and Henry, why do we need to change that so quickly?" She crosses her arms defensively, looking over at her sister in frustration.
"Emma, Killian loves Henry so much. But, he's also not Henry's father, and now that Neal is back and trying to be around, Killian is never really and truly going to be able to fill that role, he's always going to have to share it. Besides, it's perfectly natural for a man to want to have his own child. And I don't think he was saying it needs to be now, I think he just wanted to know if it was an option for you two, one day down the road." Mary Margaret gives her a pitying look, as though she can't believe Emma would be so callous and not understand this. Gently, she reaches out to take Emma's hands, unfolding them from across her chest so that Emma takes a deep breath and relaxes (it's a trick she's learned after a very long friendship with her). "Emma, do you want to have more children?"
"I don't know," she sighs, shaking her head. "I have Henry, I've never thought about… I've never felt the need for… I just don't know. I need time to think about it, to talk about it with him. I don't just want to decide right now."
"Then you should talk to him, Emma, I'm sure he'll understand." Mary Margaret smiles gently, pulling Emma into a quick hug before letting her go and returning to her task of laying out their feast.
The rest of the afternoon is spent eating and laughing and playing touch football on the grass before collapsing in the sun and enjoying one another's company. Emma takes out of a small brown envelope four little brass keys and fixes one to her keychain (a simple read leather one with her initials pressed into one side), one to Killian's (a thick twist of rope and a large wooden ship's wheel charm), one to Henry's (an Avengers lanyard), and handed the last to Mary Margaret for her and David to keep in case of an emergency. When the sun begins to set, the air grows cool, and the crickets start chirping, the Mary Margaret and David say their goodbyes, and Emma, Killian and Henry make their way up to their new apartment. After a small dinner, they tuck Henry into bed, and Killian reads him a story of pirates while Emma brushes the hair back from his forehead, until his eyes close and he drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face.
Fifteen minutes later, Emma pulls back the duvet on their bed, standing to the side in her pajamas as she fidgets with the blanket between her fingers, eyeing Killian as he lies on the other side of the bed reading some novel.
"Killian, I want to talk," she says hesitantly, nervous.
"Aye, love, what about?" he replies, not looking up from his book.
"About what you asked me this afternoon." He sighs gently and closes the pages, setting it aside.
"Ah. Go ahead then, Swan." He's still looking at his lap, his hands twisting together gently in anticipation of her words, and she moves to kneel on the bed, reaching out to take his hand in his.
"What I meant this afternoon was that I hadn't really thought about it because it wasn't even a consideration before you."
"Aye, you said as much earlier," he interrupts.
"I know. But then, you and me, I've just been focused on where we are right now, and making sure that where we are is good, so I haven't thought about making changes to that. But it's not because I don't want to be a family with you. You have no idea how many times I've wished Henry was your son," she says, shaking her head gently, and he squeezes her hand, and she knows he's thinking that he wishes much the same thing. "Things are good right now, so let's let them be good for a while before we rush to change it. But," she adds quickly as the disappointment starts to cloud his eyes again, "that doesn't mean I don't want that, eventually. Maybe one day soon. But… but can we start by just talking about it, talking about what we want, what our options are, before we leap headfirst into doing it?" She eyes him apprehensively, and it takes a second for him to react, but then he's moving faster than she could believe, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her close, his face buried in her neck.
"Of course, love, absolutely. I love you, and Henry more than I can say, and if we decide that our small family is all we need or want, then I will be more than content with that, I swear. I just want to talk about it. Make the decision together."
"We're a team now, you and me, we make all the big decisions together. Okay?" She smiles as he tugs her closer, pleased by his happiness.
"Aye," he answers and he presses a kiss to her lips, his hand running down her spine. She pulls away and slips under the blanket, settling herself in the crook of his arm so her head is resting on his shoulder and his fingers draw idle patterns on her arm.
"So, Mr. Jones," she says lightly, "what do you think about having more kids?"
"I think we should have ten," he quips, sounding completely serious until she catches the smile tugging at the corner of his lips and hears the rumble of a laugh in his chest.
"You're a funny man," she answers, laughing at his ridiculousness.
"I don't know, Emma," he replies, now all seriousness. "Maybe one or two? I think three kids is more than enough for the two of us to handle. But it would be nice to have a little one… Remember when Henry was about a month old, the only thing that could get him to sleep was –"
"Playing the piano, yes. I had to record you playing for the nights that you couldn't stay." She smiles warmly at the memory. "It might be kind of nice to have a baby again… Do you think Henry would be okay with it?"
"I think the boy would really like the idea of being a big brother," he answers, placing a kiss on the top of Emma's head.
"Would you want a girl or a boy?" she asks, surprising herself by how into this she is suddenly.
"I don't think I get much say in that, love, I think we're pretty much stuck with whatever we get." She smiles in response and he laughs lightly, another rumbling vibration in her ear.
"True. Killian," she sits up on her elbow to get a better look at him, "do you really want to do this? I mean, not right this second, but soon?"
"Aye, love, very much so." He looks at her earnestly, eyes full of love for her, and she can't help but feel like there is no one on the planet she would rather be with, would rather make plans for the future with, would rather be a family with.
