Day 9

I yawn and pull my arms over my head, stretching for a long moment before opening my eyes. It does not surprise me anymore.

The sight of the dungeon. A small chair in the middle of it. A mattress on the other side of the dungeon.

Professor Snape.

What does surprise me is the fact that he is always the first one to wake up. How does he do that? In all nine days I have only once woken up before he did. Then I remember rumors in the Gryffindor common room about him being a vampire, but I quickly push that thought away.

I clear my throat and pull myself into a sitting position. He looks at me, but immediately averts his gaze again.

"Good morning," I say, desperately needing something normal to hang on to.

We could pretend everything was normal. Even if only for a few moments.

"Morning," he says awkwardly.

He seems to be thinking hard about something and I don't want to bother him more than I need to. I look around, noticing the pile of my hair is no longer where it was. My eyes search the dungeon, but it's nowhere to be seen.

I look up at Professor, "Where is -?"

He understands the question, "I...moved it."

I'm a bit taken aback by that, "Why?"

"It would do you no good to have to look at it."

That's...nice of him. I know it would not be easy to look at what used to be my hair and remember what the guards have done.

"Thank you," I say quietly and he simply nods.

ooo

I wrap the cloak around me, feeling a bit cold. There is that strange feeling in my stomach. We haven't gotten food in a while and my body is already starting to protest.

I wonder if he's hungry as well.

He has to be. He is simply not showing it.

I tense up as the doors open and a guard enters. But it's a different one. I don't recognize him.

"Time for the loo," he says, looking at Professor.

He does not say anything, simply follows the guard out.

I try to make the best of the few minutes of loneliness, but it does not work. I don't feel safe when I'm alone. I'm all nervous and on edge, wondering if Professor is going to return or not. I can never know that. Every time he leaves the dungeon might be the last time I see him.

Or...

Perhaps he is talking to Voldemort, telling him everything he has found out about me. He could be eating and preparing to come back to the dungeon and play the part of the victim again. He could be laughing with the guards, saying how naive I am to believe him.

Is he pretending?

Do I even want to know the truth?

He is the only stable thing I've got at the moment. Do I want to lose it?

I cringe and press my hand to my stomach. I feel weird.

My feet are really cold and my back hurts. The mattress is not very comfortable.

I sigh, remembering my bed at Hogwarts. Large, warm, comfortable bed. Am I ever going to see it again? It's strange the things you miss.

ooo

They bring Professor back and I stand up, knowing it's my turn for the loo. Without words I am being led out of the dungeon.

ooo

I am shaking. I am sick to my stomach.

The guard does not notice anything and he simply pushes me back into the dungeon and leaves, closing the doors behind him. I stand still, hugging myself with my arms and looking down.

What now?

What am I supposed to do now?

"Miss Granger?" a voice snaps me out of my deep thoughts.

I don't look up at him. I don't know what to say.

"You are pale," he comments, walking over to me.

I immediately take a step back, not wanting to stand too close to him. Not right now.

"What is the matter?" he asks, "Did something happen?"

I say nothing.

His tone changes, "Did they do something?" he asks, slowly.

I shake my head.

No.

It's not anything like that.

Nothing has been done to me. Everything happened as usually. I was taken to the loo as in the last couple of days. But this time...

Should I tell him?

I have to.

I-I don't know what to do.

But how can I tell him something like that?

He's Professor Snape for god's sake.

I let out an angry groan and turn away from him.

Why does this have to happen to me? Why now?

I can hear concern in his voice, "Miss Granger? What happened?"

I hate being a girl at this moment.

"I...I have a problem," I force out, still not facing him.

"What kind of a problem?"

"A small problem."

"Yes?" he drawls.

"Actually," I start, "I-It's a big problem. A large problem and I don't know what to do."

He simply listens to me.

"I mean, I-I usually know what to do, but now I'm stuck here and I can't...can't..."

"Miss Granger," he interrupts me, "Care to explain the problem to me? And do stop with the drama."

I bite my lip, wanting to crawl into a hole and die.

My silence annoys him, "Granger, what kind of a problem?"

After a long moment, I whisper, "Girl problem."

"Care to repeat?"

I force out, "Girl problem."

Silence.

I hope he understands what I'm trying to say, because I really do not want to explain.

"I see," is his response.

I still can't face him. I can't look up at him and pretend like it's a completely normal thing to speak to your least favorite Professor about your monthly visitor. It is not normal. It is not something I am comfortable with. It's something I don't ever want to be comfortable with.

He does not speak for a very long time.

He is uncomfortable too.

I can feel the tension in the air.

"How bad is it?" he finally asks, carefully.

"W-What?"

Why is he asking me that?

He swallows hard before speaking again, "I am merely trying to figure out what you could use to...help yourself."

It goes from uncomfortable to even more uncomfortable.

"Umm...normal, I guess? I don't know..."

"Miss Granger," he starts, "If you could turn around, please? I am finding it difficult to talk to your back."

I can't.

Hermione Granger.

You are an adult. Act like it.

I take a deep breath and slowly turn around. My eyes meet with his for a short second, but then I avert my gaze, stopping on his shoulders.

"It is rather...unfortunate," he says, "But it is not the end of the world."

I am biting my lip nervously, looking around.

Silence.

"Five days," I finally find my voice.

"Excuse me?"

"It usually lasts five days. I-I don't know what to do. I have no supplies, nothing..."

He thinks for a moment and silence fills the dungeon again.

I want to slap myself for telling him. He can't help me, why did I even tell him?

Suddenly he starts removing his robes. I look at him in surprise, backing away a bit. He undoes his buttons and I look away in shame.

"What are you doing?" I ask, hearing the rustling of robes.

He does not answer, but then I hear material tearing. My eyes snap towards him and I see he is tearing his undershirt into several pieces.

When he is done, he quickly puts his shirt back on, then takes a step closer, offering me the pieces of his undershirt.

"It is not much, but hopefully it will help," he says.

I awkwardly take the material from his hand, forcing myself to look at his face.

"Thank you."

He nods, then backs away, clearing his throat, "Are you going to..."

He does not finish the question, but I understand what he means. I quickly nod and he turns and walks away into the corner, not looking at me.

I awkwardly attend to myself, not actually knowing what I'm doing.

When I'm done, I quietly say, "You can turn now."

I am positive my face is completely red by now.

I cannot believe what situation we are being forced in. Because of this event I start to wonder will I be able to look at him when...if we are rescued? Will I be able to sit in his classroom, listening to his lecture and not replaying everything that's happened to us in this dungeon?

ooo

"Professor, why did you decide to become a teacher?"

"Miss Granger, that is highly inappropriate."

"Why? It's a simple question. We can't sit in silence all day."

He lets out an annoyed sigh.

"I owed someone a favor," he answers.

"Professor Dumbledore?"

"It does not matter."

"So that is all? Simply because someone else asked you?"

"No, that is one of the reasons."

"Oh."

"I was young, I wanted to learn as much as I could, I wanted to pass the knowledge that I had. I wanted to teach."

I notice the bitterness in his voice.

"I did not know how many dunderheads there are in this world."

"So..." I start carefully, "You don't like teaching anymore?"

Silence.

"I did not say that."

"But-"

"There is always at least one student in the crowd of dunderheads that wants to learn, that is capable to learn and that is thankful for the knowledge," he explains, "And that student is the reason every teacher at Hogwarts is still teaching."

I smile a bit at that. I hope am I one of those students he appreciates. I have to be. I am smart, hard working and I am thankful for knowledge. But then why is he so hard on me? Why did he seem annoyed every time I raised my hand in class or asked questions?

He can see what I'm thinking in my head but his expression stops me from asking more questions. He is not in the mood for answering them, I can see that.

ooo

"Miss Granger, are you alright?"

I open my eyes, looking at him.

"Y-Yes."

I can imagine how I look like, covered with the robe, curled into a ball.

"It's not even evening yet, why are you sleeping?" he asks.

"I am not sleeping, I'm just not feeling well. It'll pass."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Of course I'm sure. I go through this every month.

He does not ask anything else.

ooo

A few hours later I am still resting, hoping the day will pass quickly.

Then they decide to pay us a visit. The guards.

I somehow manage to pull myself up and I go to stand next to Professor Snape.

I can imagine how ridiculous I look if he is actually working with them.

The leader looks at me, then smirks, "Have you done something with your hair?"

Anger shoots through me, but I remain silent. He wants a reaction from me. He wants to see how much he's hurt me. And I will not give him the satisfaction.

After a few seconds he looks at Professor, then back at me.

"Have you two changed your mind?"

We do not say a word.

"Still stubborn, I see," the guards says, then crosses his arms over his chest.

"And you are still with him?" he asks me, "Even after everything I've told you? About him, about his past?"

"I trust him," I say, hoping I sound convincing.

"He has tortured men, women, children. He has obeyed orders without questions. He is the one who came up with this interesting curse that -"

"That is enough!" Professor Snape raises his voice.

"Ashamed of your past, Severus?" the guard asks.

Professor Snape does not answer, he simply glares at them, killing them with his look.

The guard turns his attention to me, "And you," he starts, "You always stand next to him as if he would protect you. You are a Mudblood. And Severus Snape would not risk his life for a filthy Mudblood."

His words slap me across the face, but I try to hide it.

He continues, "Perhaps we will only spare one of you. The one who decides to help us first."

Horrible silence fills the room.

"Think about that," the guard says, "We will come for your decision tomorrow."

He turns to leave and I step forward, "Wait!"

He turns to look at me, surprised, "Perhaps we do not have to wait until tomorrow?"

"No," I shake my head, "It's not about that. It's...when will we get food? Are you planning to starve us to death?"

His smirk grows wider, "No, of course not. That would be...counterproductive. We are simply hoping the lack of food will make you more acceptable to our idea."

"Well," I start, "Good luck with that."

I am breaking on the inside, my body is screaming for food, but I keep a calm face. I have no idea how I'm capable of doing that.

He simply smirks, then they all leave the dungeon.

ooo

Silence.

We have not spoken a word ever since the guards left.

I look at him.

Then away.

Then again at him.

His head snaps towards me, "Is there something you wish to ask me, Granger?"

There is something.

"Can I...Well..." I can't finish the sentence.

"Are you perhaps wondering if you can trust me?"

I don't say anything.

Any smart person would try and save their own life. Why is Professor Snape any different?

He sighs, "I will not help them."

I nod, "Good. I won't either."

He raises an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I ask, "You don't believe me?"

"And you are offended by that?"

I simply open my mouth, not knowing how to react.

He continues, "You are allowed to doubt me every few hours and I am supposed to blindly trust you? Talk about double standards."

"I would never - "

"I cannot know that for sure. You are young, you want to live. I would understand on some level if you decided to help them."

"Stop it!" I raise my voice, "I would never do that."

"Why are you so sensitive about that? We are merely discussing a possibility."

"It's not even a possibility."

He glares at me, but I hold my composure.

After a minute he looks away and our conversation is finished.

Neither of us say a word to each other for the rest of that evening.

A/N: 21 more days to go! Hope you are still enjoying the story. :)