"Brooke!" She screamed but the body of her older sister didn't move. She laid in a lump on the floor not moving. "Brooke!" She called again desperate to see any movement or hear
any sound, proof that she was alive but there was nothing. Paige ran as fast as she could pumping her arms for extra speed. The faster she ran the farther away Brooke's body seemed to be. She ran and ran as fast as she could, her breaths came in uneven pants and her legs burned but she had to get to Brooke she had to make sure she was alright.
"Brooke!" Paige yelled, her eyes snapped open and she sat up, she was in her bed in her room at her house. And Brooke was gone. Chloe slept on the floor at the head of Paige's bed her breathing and soft snores lulling Paige's heart back to its normal rhythm. She layed back down visions of her dreams flashing through her mind. She felt a strange sense of deja vu like she already saw them but she couldn't remember what. It probably had something to do with Brooke's suicide but she couldn't remember that day. She remembered going to look for her and then the next morning but everything in between was fuzzy and clouded like it was there in the back of her head but just out of reach.
September 20
Dear Diary
Why does everyone hate me?
"No Brooke! Everyone doesn't hate you! I like you, Chloe likes you!" Paige screamed at the book.
This is the part where if you could talk you would say "No Brooke everyone doesn't hate you." But you'd be wrong, everyone does.
Abby hates me she yells and screams at me, she always puts me at the bottom of the pyramid. She never says anything nice to me or complements me on my dancing ever. Why? Am I that bad a dancer? Do I really suck that much that I don't even deserve a "nice trick Brooke" or a "good job Brooke" nothing?
Everyone at school hates me. They call me names, they push and shove me in the halls. What did I do? What did I ever do to them that they have to treat me this way?
All the girls on the team hate me, they all ignore me(Maddie especially) and they never stick up for me. But that's unfair, I understand why they don't, Abby scares them. She scares me too.
Even my own mother hates me! I know what you're gonna say "Brooke your mom does not hate you." But she does. We always fight, we can never just have a normal conversation it always turns into a fight. Why can't we just say more than ten words to each other without it turning into a screaming match? Why can't she see that I'm really screaming for help?
I don't want to fight with her I want to sit down and talk with her. I want to tell her what I've been doing to myself, the cutting, the anorexia. I want her to hug me like she did when I was little and tell me everything is going to be okay. But I can't she would never understand, she would be mad and disappointed. I'm already such a big screw up telling would just reinforce it.
Love
Brooke
Paige knew Brooke and there mom fought a lot. That's just what they did, but she didn't know she felt that there mom hated her.
