Two hours before…

Carlisle barged into the the rustic looking interior of the bar which his mind seemed so intent on coming to. He walked up to the counter as women gave second looks and waitresses took notice of him. They always did, not that Carlisle ever paid them any attention. He wasn't so narcissistic to say that he was a young, good looking man with money, but he did take pride in what he had and did.

He took a seat in the first stool that caught his line of sight when the bartender turned to ask for an order.

"Carlisle!" The tender exclaimed. He was a lanky man with shaggy brown hair that reached his shoulders. His facial hair was unkempt and his eyes were a dark brown. His fingers were long but his nails were cut short and he wore a look of jolly humor at seeing one of his favorited patrons.

"Hey Garrett," Carlisle tried but he couldn't keep his voice light enough.

"What'll it be?" Garrett asked with a broad smile coming to stand behind Carlisle's section of the counter.

"Something hard. How about…a bourbon highball."

Garrett gave a quick nod of his head as he attempted to remember how best to mix the drink. As he set to his work, Carlisle finally lifted his head from the counter and watched as Garrett mixed the drink with the same precision the doctor had while working at the hospital.

"You know Carlisle," Garrett sighed as his smile slightly faded, "a man only drinks like that if he's having lady troubles," he deliberated after watching Carlisle down the drink in one go after it had been placed in front of him.

"Yeah, I know," Carlisle mumbled as he pushed the now empty glass toward the other side of the counter.

"Another?" The tender offered. Carlisle gave no verbal reply but just a simple nod of his head with his eyes lost in thoughts too far away.

"Alright. I've got a few minutes to talk," Garrett offered as he mixed the same drink twice.

"You know, you must be really good at your job to be thinking it's lady troubles," Carlisle considered.

"That's probably why I'm still here after eight years," Garrett joked about his current situation. "But it's always the same eyes with a different face. I should know, hell, even I've had that look. Tell me about her?"

"She is…beautiful," Carlisle began.

"They always are," Garrett told him.

Garrett knew Carlisle trusted him. The only time the two ever saw each other was in this bar and they knew nothing about their personal lives but it had been a relationship very much like the bar patron and the bar tender. Garrett was Carlisle's listening ear. It always came with job and Garrett was always willing to listen, as well as offer what advice he could under the circumstances.

"But when I first met her," Carlisle mumbled as he held back a shutter from the taste of the bourbon. "I didn't really think of her like that. Then I actually started talking to her. She's fun to be around and she always makes me smile…but she's a liar. She's been lying to me since the day I met her. But here's the thing, I know that I care about her," the doctor vaguely explained, "I tell her all the time. I know she cares about me too," Carlisle said as he curled his hand around the tumbler as it was placed in front of him.

"But it's not love?" On those words, Carlisle paused and thought for a second.

"It is. I know it is. She loves me and I don't know what to do about it."

"Why don't you spent some time away from her? Clear your head?"

"That's the thing, I can't."

"Why not?" Garrett asked, as he wiped down the counter with a tea towel he kept folded on his shoulder.

"Because I live with her," Carlisle explained as he downed the drink once more and asked for another.

"That's a damn shame. Sure you don't want to slow down?"

"No, keep them coming."

"Alright," Garrett said as he began to mix another drink.

It was just after midnight when Carlisle had his fill. He thanked Garrett, paid his bill and staggered out into the rainy October night. He knew it was a stupid idea but he climbed into the driver's seat of his car and drove away. As he drove, he thought about the two women at home right at this very second. He couldn't help but wonder which woman he was referring to talking to Garrett.

They were both beautiful.

They were both funny.

They always made him smile.

They were both liars.

Carlisle let out a small sigh and shook his head at what he knew—he loved her. He loved her and she was liar.

"Match made in heaven…" he exclaimed. Suddenly, he had a wonderful, drunk, amazing idea. He miss-pressed a few of the buttons but he finally managed to turn on the bluetooth to the car at a red light. He fidgeted with the apps on his phone, opened up the music app and played, what he thought, was the perfect song for his current situation.

"Now I don't hardly know her," he sang at the top of his lungs as the volume coming from the car's speaker system drowned out his voice.

"But I think I can love her. Crimson and clover. Now when she comes walking over now I been waiting to show her…"

"When in doubt, go with Joan Jett," he said to no one, "Joanie always knows," he hiccuped.

Just as the song ended, he reached the driveway of his house, he put the car in park and dared not to even think about putting it in the garage because he knew it wouldn't be in par with sneaking back inside. As quietly as he could in his inebriated state, he snuck in though the front door only to be confronted by Esme.

"Where the hell were you?"

From his perspective, everything went blank as the full force of the alcohol finally hit him.


Present…

"Carlisle? Is everything okay?" Bella asked from the top of the stairs. She'd only left her bedroom when she knew Esme was in her own. Bella walked down the stairs wearing nothing but short shorts and a white tank top though if one asked Carlisle, he would never have been able to remember.

Bella came to stand in front of to him just at the foot of the stairs as he leaned his weight on a small table. He was so drunk that he didn't feel a potted plant digging into his back as it leaned precariously to one side.

"No," he grumbled, "I feel like everything is just falling apart," he said as he held his thumb to his lips. He ran his hand though his hair and sighed.

Bella watched him and had an idea.

"It can't be. Do you know why?" She asked as she brushed her fingers on the backs of his arms. It had not been the first time either of the two touched each other like this so Carlisle thought nothing of it.

"But it is…" he began as he used Bella simple touches to help ground him. He looked down as she stood in front of him and wondered what she was thinking but he never knew. Bella was the most unpredictable woman he'd ever met.

"No it isn't," Bella told him knocking him out of his contemplations. "Come here, I want to show you something," she said as she led him from the bottom of the stairs and into the living room. She flicked on a lamp and laid down on the couch with her head propped by the arm rest.

"What are you doing?" Carlisle asked as he stood near where she lay.

"Just give me your hand and trust me," she instructed offering her own for Carlisle to take. Carlisle placed his hand within her's and sat down on the floor awaiting further instruction. Bella lifted her tank to reveal a flat stomach.

Carlisle wondered if her skin was really as soft as it looked. Before his train of thought left the station, Bella placed their hands on her lower abdomen and it was. Carlisle's hand gently caressed Bella's lower stomach beneath her naval. She guided his hand further still, just into the waistband of her shorts.

"Do you feel how it's harder…right there?" She said guiding his hand using her own further to the right. She liked the feeling of his hands on her bare skin. It sent shockwaves and tingles throughout her body that emanated from the place he touched her.

"Yeah…" he mumbled.

"See? Not everything is as bad as it seems. Carlisle, that's your baby in there. He's already changing my body and he's only about an inch long."

"He?"

"Yeah, I think it might be a boy, at least when I picture the baby I see a boy. Probably shouldn't call him it, he's not an 'it', he's your son…or daughter. If the baby is a boy, what would you name him?" Bella asked curiously.

"I once told Esme that if we ever had a son, he'd be named after my father, Edward," Carlisle explained.

"That's a really old name."

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked studying Bella's face as he still felt the inch-long fetus growing inside. The bruising on her profile had faded completely, her cuts were no longer, only small scars that told a quiet story as they were barely visible. She looked like a different person than the one he'd picked up from her crime-scene of a home what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I didn't mean to say it's old," Bella corrected, "it's just not very modern."

"Bells, I thought you knew me by now. I thought you knew I had an old soul."

Bella giggled at that. "But what if the baby is a girl?"

"Maybe…" he sighed, as the small glee disappeared within his features. His head somewhat cleared but the world still felt like it was spinning far too fast.

"I'm sorry. Looks like I struck a nerve," she apologized quickly.

"No, no it's fine," he assured, "I don't exactly care what the gender is, as long as the baby is healthy. When Esme was pregnant, we were going to have a girl, but like all the rest, she lost the baby," Carlisle explained. "Her name was Rosalie. We were going to call her Rose…my little flower," he mumbled the last words but they were more. The last three words were an entire lifetime that never began. The two sat in silence as Carlisle mourned the child that would have been and Bella, unsure of what to say, stayed quiet.

"Good night, little flower," Carlisle thought he might have said when her parents tucked her in. In his mind's eye, she would have been nearly five with a head of blond hair like her father and a beautiful face, like her mother's.

"You know, my little flower isn't so much of a 'little flower' anymore," Carlisle thought he might have explained one night when Rose was a senior in high school.

"What do you mean?" Esme would have asked as she fitted her body around Carlisle's as they lay, settling for bed.

"I mean she's turning into a Rose," Carlisle sighed as he realized how old he suddenly felt.

Carlisle imagined he and Esme would have more children. They would grow older like Rosalie, they would leave off for college and come back with a loving partner for Christmas break. There would be heartbreaks and breakups which Esme would offer comfort, there would be new cars and trips across country which Carlisle would pay as he would spoil them against Esme's wishes.

Then, one of his children would marry, like all children do after they've grown. This child, would then start a family. When Carlisle would have held his grandchild for the first time, he would feel so much older than when he realized his little flower had grown. Esme would offer advice to the new parent and explain what to do when the child was feverish or ailing in some way, like all mothers do.

Carlisle would have had his heart spill over in love as he watched Esme hold her first grandchild for the first time. Then, one might have turned into three, three into seven, seven into ten as his younger children grew and started out with families of their own.

He would watch and grow older with every passing morning, remembering the times past when he married, when his first child was born, when they got their first car as a sixteenth birthday present, when they left and started a life of their own. He would think back on how difficult it would have been, how there would be long nights and sunny days.

He would think of how beautiful Esme was, how had it not been without her, he might never have had a family. How she would curl up next to him when her hair was greying and her reading glasses turned into a permanent feature as she grew older. When her smile lines became more prominent. When her eyes told the story of how much she loved her life, how much they both did.

It would have been a long time coming, but Carlisle would die and so would Esme. They would leave their physical forms, yes, but through their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, they would live on.

Carlisle was the first to break the silence which startled Bella.

"When Es lost her, something in her changed. Esme, she…she was different with this one than the others. Maybe it was because the fetus had a name? I don't know. Maybe it was because this one lasted longer? But with the others, it was just…uh…a lot of blood and a long night sitting in a bathtub as I tried to be…whatever a man becomes when he loses a baby who hadn't started to even live. Yes, we'd mourn the fetus but when Es was ready, we'd try again.

"But after Rose…Esme, she wanted a way to say goodbye to the child that could never be. So I took the fetus placed it in a jewelry box, stuck it in the fireplace and burned it. When there was nothing but ashes, I took them. The next morning I went the closest flower shop and bought a planter and flower seeds.

"I mixed the ashes with soil. A few months later, the flowers bloomed. Roses. They were as red as blood and beautiful. You know, I always wondered what she might have looked like. I think…she might have looked like her momma but she'd be blond, like me."

"Carlisle, I'm so sorry."

"That's why we hired you. Rose was the last baby Esme tried to carry. We still have the flowers. They're in the nursery. Once a week, Esme goes in just the water them. That's the only time either of us are ever in there."

Carlisle inhaled a deep breath and a few seconds later he said, "Good night Bella. I think its time I went to bed."

"Good night Carlisle," Bella told him as she made a bold move on her part. Carlisle continued to sit on the floor and when Bella got to her feet, she placed a small kiss in his hair. Carlisle didn't reject it but wasn't exactly sure of how to react. So instead of doing something, he watched her leave, his confusion on the subject of the women of the house further entangled.


They each walked on thin, separate lines leading in a direction none of them could see. Esme held out her arms for balance as she took careful steps not to fall over. She looked up for just the smallest of glances expecting to see Carlisle.

He wasn't there. Instead, she found Bella walking the same line a few feet away. The furthest away was Carlisle. He concentrated on his own line but was beginning to falter. Esme reached out further to steady her husband but, it seemed, Bella was between them and she couldn't reach far enough.

Carlisle's hands were only inches from Esme's when he held them out to her though they seemed miles apart. Suddenly, he reached too far. His feet were too unsteady. His body was too angled and he fell.

Esme watched as he disappeared within the fog at the bottom of a large trench. The last thing she heard before waking in a cold sweat was Carlisle as he inhaled a deep, audible breath. She couldn't see it but she knew he'd fallen to lay with hundreds of unborn babies and children that died far too young.

The last thing she'd done after watching Carlisle fall was look up at Bella. She shook her head in disagreement at what her next action would be. Esme looked away and jumped off her own line as Bella watched with what Esme could only assume was curiosity.

Esme woke in a cold sweat as she grabbed at Carlisle's side of the bed out of habit. In her delirious mind, she truly thought that he'd fallen. When her mind was completely shaken from the world of nightmares, she remembered he slept on the couch. Some part of her had to make absolutely certain that he was fine so she climbed out of the bed but cold tore into her body.

She'd left the bedroom window open though Carlisle slept elsewhere.

The heat that normally came from his body to protect against the cold, left. She ran over to window to close it as the wind blew directly into the room. When she managed it, her fingers were pale from the cold as she scrambled to protect herself. She skin was littered with gooseflesh as she went to the ottoman to retrieve her robe.

When she left the bedroom, she walked down the stairs to find Carlisle drinking a cup of coffee and wearing the same clothes he had last night.

"Good morning," Esme said only out of curtesy.

"Hey," Carlisle answered as he sipped at his cup.

"Feeling sick?" She asked as she poured herself a dose of coffee.

"Yeah."

"Good," she told him curtly, "about last night…" Esme began to see what he remembered. Carlisle furrowed his brow unable to recall what he'd done. He knew he'd left late at night and came back later. He knew he drank and had more liquor than was normal for him. He didn't quite remember driving home and had no idea what he'd done when he got there.

"What did I do?" Carlisle asked worried.

"Nothing," Esme lied. She didn't need an argument about something that was only to be taken as it was. She neither took it too lightly as she was still annoyed though her dreams were of worry, and neither did it need to be made a bigger deal than it should have been.

"Okay…" Carlisle mumbled not absolutely convinced it was nothing.


"It was one helluva coincidence she picked me but, it worked, didn't it?" Bella said as she held the phone next to her ear. She sat crosslegged on a plastic chair in front of a plexiglass window.

"I suppose," the voice on the other end answered as the lips behind the glass smiled. "You know what to do now."

"I can't!" Bella exclaimed worried. "I won't. They're wonderful people who wouldn't hurt anyone."

"They wouldn't? That bitch's father sure didn't have a hard time screwing over my boss, now did he?" The voice nearly yelled clearly annoyed with Bella lack of confidence.

"That was years ago. Besides, what does that matter anyway? Esme would never do anything to hurt anyone!"

"Now is that care I hear coming from you're voice Isabella? Don't tell me you're out because you fell in love with that son of a bitch," the voice said referring to Carlisle.

Bella waited a few beats, staring at the face behind the window.

"I can't."

"Bella? You know they're up my ass about being here just because of you're stupid fucking plan? Need I remind you that if you don't, it's not going to be very hard to find you. You remember how easy it was last time?"

"Yes."

"That's a girl! One more thing, don't forget, if Aro finds you…it's both of our asses on the line including your oh so precious Cullens. Love you!"

"Go to hell James."

"I am in hell thanks to you."

Bella rose from the seat as James watched her leave.