Emmett POV

Just the sight of Edward in oven gloves, trying not to rip the cooker to shreds with his bare hands was amusing enough. When adding the fact that even Mike Newton was laughing at our pitiful attempts, I was surrounded by a comedy show.

"When you've rolled the dough out, make sure that it's not too thin..." Mrs Price may as well have been talking to herself instead of directing her words towards Edward, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and I. Jasper nodded furiously. I was surprised that he wasn't taking notes on her lecture.

Alice and I were the only ones who refused to take this course seriously. Metal work was bad enough; I had to make a deliberate effort not to nail someone's hand to the desk and Bella ended up at A&E almost every time that someone let her near the drills. Only Bella had been pleased when we'd switched to Food Technology after a few months. Edward had finally discovered something that the humans could do better than him, Jasper was desperately trying to succeed (and failing), Rosalie hated the constant flow of F grades that her cooking received and Alice and I had accepted the fact that we couldn't cook and didn't need to anyway.

"Mr Cullen, what are you doing with your rolling pin?" Mrs Price looked down at Jasper in disbelief. In his efforts not to roll straight through the table, he was applying minimum pressure to the dough, hardly flattening it at all.

"I'll just...roll it out then, shall I?" Mrs Price nodded. When she'd turned her back, I jumped over the bench at vampire speed and sat down on Jasper's dough for a second. When I stood up again, the dough had been completely flattened. I grinned at him and gave him a thumbs up. Jasper scowled.

"Thanks a lot. No one's going to be able to eat that now." I shrugged.

"Jas, you weren't going to eat that anyway. You can't eat food, remember?" Edward shot me a warning glance.

On the bench behind Rosalie, Jasper and I, Edward, Bella and Alice were probably making slightly more progress. Alice had just crushed her onion in her fist instead of slicing it neatly. I followed her example and tried not to inhale the disgusting stench coming from the metal pan on the stove. Bella however, was sniffing enthusiastically at her own concoction. I was also sure that Edward didn't like the fact that her cooking skills were significantly more developed than his. Food Technology was one course that the Cullen kids had always struggled with.

Unfortunately, with the added pressure of Mrs Price assessing her work (and Mike Newton staring at her from across the room), Bella wasn't performing as well as she did at home. Her clumsiness was an added enjoyment for me as she slipped on some oil that I had split earlier. Edward glared at me when he heard my thoughts.

"Hey Emmett, do you think that it would be too much if I put marshmallows on this pizza?" Alice called to me. I gave her a thumbs up. Mrs Price looked terrified as she hurried over to Alice.

"Dear, marshmallows don't usually go with pizza...are you making a sweet pizza?" Alice shook her head innocently.

"Don't they?" she replied, faking confusion. "That's how we make it at home, don't we Em?" I grinned over at them encouragingly, glancing at Alice's pizza base, piled high with practically every product that she had found at the store on the way to school. For a girl who could match clothes, she definitely wasn't trying to pick foods that went well together. She had everything from fish to chocolate. Mrs Price wrinkled her nose.

"It's...down to you, dear."

Jasper swore loudly when he opened his oven to a huge cloud of black smoke. Everyone in the room began to cough within about five seconds. Edward looked over disapprovingly.

"Mr Cullen, what happened?" Mrs Price had one hand covering her nose and mouth as she moved reluctantly towards Jasper. He looked embarrassed.

"Um...I forgot to set the timer." Mrs Price sighed.

"Rookie mistake!" she scolded. "Use your spare dough and have another try."

Mrs Price left the classroom to find Jasper some more flour in the store cupboard. Almost as soon as she had left, I flicked a tomato at Alice. Unfortunately, she ducked and it flew across the table, where it hit Bella right in the face. I snorted with laughter as she stood there, red tomato juice dripping out of her hair and on to the work surface.

"Emmett!" Bella cried. "What was that for?" I grinned apologetically.

"Sorry Bells. I was aiming for pixie girl actually." Bella frowned at Alice.

"You could have warned me." Alice rolled her eyes as she added another marshmallow to her pizza pile.

"Sorry but this hair doesn't grow back if I have to cut sticky food stuff out of it. Yours will."

"Tomato washes out," Edward told Alice, helping Bella to wipe her face with a dishcloth. Alice stuck her tongue out and seconds later, I found myself being pelted with marshmallows.

"Alice! Stop it!" I grabbed Jasper's frying pan and used it to deflect the marshmallows, sending the flying straight back at her. I took aim at one of them like I was playing baseball and smacked it away with the frying pan....

SMASH!

Jasper POV

Emmett hit the marshmallow straight through the window, sending glass everywhere, including into Eric Yorkie's boiling pot of something evil-smelling that he was claiming to be chicken curry. Eric burst into tears and ran out of the classroom.

"Nice one, Em!" I laughed. Rosalie kicked the oven door shut with her foot, making a noticeable dent in the front of it and strode over to Emmett.

"Em, a marshmallow?!" she whispered. "What's the excuse for that going through the window?" Most of the class were staring at Emmett. Alice waved her hands dismissively.

"It's nothing, really!" she announced to our stunned classmates. "I put fifty cent coins inside them. For a surprise. It made the marshmallows heavier."

"That's why they went through the window!" Bella pretended to realise, playing along. I sent waves of disinterest around the room which got everyone back at their work stations with their own cooking.

"CRAP!" Emmett screamed as his sleeve caught on fire. "Fire! CRAP, HELP!" Emmett had an irrational fear of fire, probably because it was the only thing that could kill us. Bella looked nervously at Edward and I decided to...heat things up a little. I shot fear towards Mike Newton and right on cue, he screamed and smashed the fire alarm on the wall beside him. Edward groaned as Rosalie practically jumped on Emmett, forcing him towards the sink. She turned the tap on, full blast and attempted to soak the flames in water. I sent lust towards them and after a few seconds, they were making out on the draining board. Edward rolled his eyes in an 'I-give-up' manner and Bella giggled nervously.

"Evacuate! Evacuate the building!" Mrs Price ran into the room, red-faced, carrying a bag of flour. Her screamed alerted Emmett and Rosalie who stopped kissing and noticed that Emmett's sleeve had burnt all the way up to his shoulder. Mrs Price shrieked and nearly fainted at the sight of the flames lapping around Emmett's head.

"Oh bloody hell, FIRE!" Emmett roared, as he tried to fan the flames with Edward's tea towel. Half of the class had rushed out of the door but some were still watching the action sequence in front of them, including Edward, Bella, Alice and me.

"You should get outside," Edward told Bella. "The last thing we need is..."

Edward never got to finish his sentence as Emmett, covered in flames circled around the room, howling and trying to put himself out. Bella cowered back as he ran right past her, flapping at his head with a tea towel. Most of his shirt was in tatters and the flames had reached his waist. Rosalie gasped.

"Hell no, you can't get damaged down there!" She looked around frantically and ended up grabbing my saucepan, which was still swimming with an onion soup mixture. Rosalie filled it with water and launched herself at Emmett, hurling water over both of them. Emmett blinked liquid out of his eyes and growled when he saw that most of his clothing was still alight. I sent happiness at them, just out of curiosity and suddenly Rose dropped my pan and began to dance around the room, linking Emmett's arm, which was covered in ash and flames. Emmett joined in and as he swung around the room, he reminded me somewhat of a Chinese dragon, with all the orange ribbons/flames flying around him. Edward heard my thoughts and started laughing.

Alice was also shaking hysterically and when I looked around, Mrs Price was dialling 911 on Bella's mobile.

"Hello? This is Forks High School. We need urgent assistance! There's a fire in Food Technology! Yes! I...a student is on fire!....Thank you!" Bella took her mobile back but Edward grabbed it before she could put it away in her pocket. PLEASE don't call Carlisle, I thought. We'll be banned from Food Tech forever. Literally, forever.

But Edward just pressed record and began to film the entire scene, with a smirk upon his face. Mrs Price noticed our lack of concern for our poor brother and looked slightly confused.

"I...have called an ambulance. They will be here as soon as humanely possible."

"Humanely isn't quick enough!" Emmett roared, only half-acting. His fear of fire was hilarious; he wasn't even in pieces!

"Excellent!" Alice mumbled. Clearly she had just had a vision. I turned on the lust once more and Rosalie and Emmett fell to the floor, touching each other in all sorts of inappropriate places. Well, places inappropriate for a classroom anyway. Most of the students had evacuated however and Mrs Price probably should have told us to do so too but she was in some kind of dazed state and she didn't even seen capable of speech.

And then the door flew open.

"Forks Police Department! Put your hands above your heads!"

"Forks Fire Service! Please evacuate the area!"

"Forks Ambulance! Everybody remain calm!"

We all looked around, completely confused, apart from Rosalie, who was trying to tear off Emmett's flaming trousers and Emmett who was flapping his hands wildly above his head, frantically attempting to save his hair from being burnt off.

"Police?" Edward questioned. Bella groaned.

"Uh oh..."

"Bells?" Chief Swan ran straight over to her and tried to pull her out of the room where two people were making out, on fire, on the floor. Oops. I turned the lust off before someone else walked in and I had a pretty good idea of who that would be.

"Hi Charlie, I mean Dad....everything's fine, really." Charlie didn't buy that.

"Bells, what's going on?"

"Um...Emmett had an accident with the cooker. But it's under control." Charlie looked at Emmett and Rose, still rolling around together in the aftermath of my lust. Both of them had caught fire. Rose was going to kill us when she realised that her shirt had been ruined. I frantically sent panic waves to them until they jumped up and resumed their screaming.

"Hold still!" A firefighter leapt through one of the open windows and sprayed Emmett and Rose with foam, just in time for Carlisle to come running in through the door after Charlie.

"Edward? Jasper? Alice?" Carlisle surveyed the scene in front of him "What's happened?" All three of us merely looked at Emmett and Rosalie. Carlisle followed our eyes.

"There...was...fire..." Emmett panted. "Oh hey Carlisle! When did you get here? Wanna try my pizza?" Carlisle at Mrs Price, who was breathing very heavily and he walked towards her.

"Mrs Price." Edward answered Carlisle's unspoken question. He nodded.

"Mrs Price? Are you alright?" Sure she is. Let's have some fun. I wafted double lust towards her.

"Doctor Cullen...well well well." Mrs Price shifted so that she was standing between Carlisle and the bench. "You're looking...handsome today, aren't you?" Carlisle shot me a glare. I shrugged innocently.

"I hope that you haven't been hurt?" Carlisle tried to get on with his quick examination.

"Hurt? Not at all, doctor, not at all. But tell me..." Mrs Price pressed her hands against his chest. Edward, Alice, Bella and I cracked up laughing. "Have you been working out...doctor?" She giggled a girlie and annoying giggle; a sound that I was immensely glad that Alice had never made. Carlisle cleared his throat.

"Well, as long as you were not burnt..." He turned to Emmett and Rose, who were licking the foam off each other's faces. Oops. I must have caught them with my lust.

"Who called the police?" Edward asked Charlie.

"Mrs Cope. She called up and explained that someone was breaking into the Food Technology room. She heard a huge crash coming from the window and then all the fire bells went off. Very suspicious." Emmett averted his eyes to the ceiling guiltily.

"Emmett threw a...something through the window accidentally," I explained to Charlie. Carlisle glanced at Edward who nodded discreetly. Rosalie sighed.

"You two will need a check-up," Carlisle told Emmett and Rosalie, to keep everything looking realistic in front of Charlie. "If you don't mind, Chief Swan, I'll take my children along with me now."

"That's fine with me, Doctor Cullen." Charlie hesitated. "Is it alright if Bella went along with you now? I won't be home until late by the time I've got this sorted out." Carlisle nodded.

"That would be fine. Rosalie, Emmett, you'll have to travel in the ambulance. You may have burns that need attending to and you could experience some shock. Edward, take the others in your car. We'll meet you at the hospital." Edward nodded and Carlisle turned to thank the firemen.

Emmett POV

"We seriously get to ride in the ambulance?! Awesome!" I high-fived Rosalie and grinned at Carlisle. "You know, I think we need some assistance . My legs are feeling a bit weak."

"You're probably right." Carlisle agreed as we were still within earshot of Charlie and the firemen. I shook some more foam out of my hair.

"I need a wheelchair," Rosalie moaned, winking at me. "I honestly couldn't move another step."

Alice, knowing what Rosalie would demand, pushed a wheelchair up and parked it in front of her. Rosalie jumped in straight away, adding a few groans for dramatic effect. Bella returned with another one for me.

"Thanks Bells, you're the best!" I laughed. And it was one of the ones that you could push yourself! How lucky was that?! "I'll race you to the ambulance!" I told Rose. "On your marks, get set....GO!"

In the ambulance, there were two good-looking female nurses so Carlisle still had to pretend to be seriously worried about us.

"Carlisle...I'm feeling very weak still. I think that I need to lie down on the stretcher." Carlisle shot me an annoyed glance but he couldn't say anything.

"Alright Emmett. You can lie down if you need to." Rosalie muffled a giggle behind her hand.

"Rosalie?" Carlisle pretended to check. "Are you feeling dizzy at all? Neither of you have any severe burns but you may be suffering from shock." I nodded vigourously.

"I think I have that, Carlisle. I keep seeing bright flashes in my eyes."

"You haven't been in a car accident, Emmett!" Rosalie hissed so that I was the only one who heard her. "And that stupid nurse keeps looking at you."

Sure enough, the uglier of the two nurses was blushing and kept shooting strange looks at me. I really hoped that wasn't her idea of flirting.

"Doctor Cullen, shall I take this young man's pulse?" she suggested eagerly. Rosalie immeadiately shot daggers at her. Boy, if looks could kill...

"It's fine, I'll do that when we've got them back to the hospital," Carlisle replied quickly before she could discover firstly how cold my skin was and secondly that I didn't even have a pulse. The nurse sighed in disappointment.

The sirens wailing as we sped along the roads were an added bonus. I added a few moans and groans every now and then for dramatic effect and I could pick out the sound of Edward's Volvo somewhere on the road behind us.

"I think that I may have concussion," Rosalie glared at one of the nurses. "I felt very dizzy for a few minutes just then." They both averted their attention from me and reluctantly turned to face her.

"You might have to stay in overnight," the prettier nurse told her. Carlisle rolled his eyes behind them.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Rosalie," he told her. "She tends to overreact at times."

"This is your adopted daughter?" Carlisle nodded. The prettier nurse smiled at her. She must have been quite stupid not to know who Rosalie was. The whole of Forks knew the Cullen kids.

"I'm sure that you know you're in great hands. Your dad is an excellent doctor." She smiled so sweetly at Carlisle that I would have thrown up, had I been human. Thank Aro that Rosalie never made that ugly face.

As we pulled into the hospital, the nurses lifted my stretcher and carried me out of the back doors. I smirked in delight as I saw Edward, Alice, Jasper and Bella watching me from the hospital entrance. Alice was in hysterics and was whispering something to a worried looking Bella. Rosalie stomped out of the ambulance and pretended to stagger on the road, furious that she wasn't getting the star treatment from the nurses. Had it been other doctors in the ambulance, I was sure that she would have been fussed over even more than I so I didn't feel at all guilty as I sneakily waved at everyone from my throne...stretcher. Edward gave me his Carlisle's-perfect-son look as I was carried past them. I winked at Bella, who like Alice, was now in fits of giggles. She must have had a vision of some kind...