Chapter 9
Author's Note: Hi Girls!I wanna say thanks to Clarisse von Trapp, Captain Weirdo, Liesel Meminger, Minerva M McGonagall, Victoria Grant, Kristie-Julie, risingdancer, Zsulie, bluegirl-783 and to OSUSprinks for all the enchanting reviews. Thanks very much. And a big hug to Rach for beta this for me.
"I think I'm starting to fall in love with you." whispered Clarisse, but a moment later she covered her mouth with her hand.
"Oh my God!" she cried in a stifled voice and jumped out of the bed.
"Clarisse? Clarisse!" Joseph tried to catch her, but she was too quick for him and disappeared in the bathroom. "Clarisse… What's the matter?" asked Joseph as he got up and tried to open the door. "I know I shouldn't have – I shouldn't have kissed you, but I lost control. Being here with you… everything just slipped away and I couldn't stop myself. Please, Clarisse, I'm sorry. Clarisse? Are you alright?" He softly knocked on the door, and after a few minutes, she finally opened it.
She slowly reeled out of the doorway and headed towards the balcony. Clarisse was still in shock, and passed Joseph without even looking at him. "I made a mistake…" he tried to say, but she barely heard him.
"What?" she asked, stopping and turning back towards him.
"I shouldn't have kissed you."
That was the moment she came to her senses again.
"Oh no!" she protested and reached out towards him. "You did nothing wrong. I just cannot believe that I… I fell in love with you. I mean that I'm STARTING to fall in love with you," she corrected herself quickly.
"So it's true," Joseph said with a little smile as he stepped closer. "But how? I mean how do you know? Almost five hours ago, you said you could not give me anything other than friendship and you sounded so sure of yourself."
"Yes. I was sure." She sighed and sat down to the sofa, while Joseph quietly did the same. "You know, until now, I had everything under control, but now you kissed me and it totally confused me. I wasn't thinking. I just automatically said the first thing that popped into my head. And that was… Oh, my God," Clarisse sighed and buried her face in her hands.
"Why," Joseph asked and tentatively wrapped an arm around her, "is it so unacceptable?"
"You know… Even when I was a young girl, I already knew that Rupert would be my husband." Clarisse looked up again and started her story. "I was over the clouds. My parents- especially my mother- wanted this more than anything in the world. She sold me, like a trader sells a cow on the market, but I was too young and naïve to realize it.
"And Rupert was so kind. He courted me and everything was just like a fairy tale. But I had to wake up shortly after my wedding. The honeymoon was perfect and soon Philip was born. Everything seemed so normal. At least that's what I thought. Rupert spent more and more time in his suite, but I didn't think it was strange. I was happy and in love with my husband. Oh my God, I was such a fool." She laughed bitterly and sighed.
"When I first caught him with another woman I couldn't believe it. I was shattered. It was as if someone had slapped me across the face. And when he hit me the first time… I suddenly realized just how stupid I had been."
Joseph sat in stony silence while he listened her story, his heart breaking. Her voice was disillusioned and bitter. "I promised myself that night… I promised that I would never, NEVER fall in love again. I was quite careful on that subject in the past few years, certainly. But now… everything has changed. I found you - yes you," she smiled bitterly, then turned away. "And I cannot give you what you deserve, because I know you deserve far more than me. I'm a total wreck, Joseph."
"Please don't say that," Joseph whispered and touched her shoulder. "You are exactly what I need."
"Oh no, believe me. I am not. I really think you should go away. I mean leave us. Leave all this mess and find somebody who can make you happy. Just… just go before it is too late. And if I can't convince you, remember that Rupert won't leave it alone, I'm sure. After all, you nearly killed him. Oh, Joseph, please… Please go and find somebody else."
"But I don't want anybody else. I want you, Clarisse. You." He was determined, but it did not help.
"Please don't make this harder than it has to be." She sighed and stood up, but Joseph wouldn't leave her. He wrapped his arms around her and didn't let her go. First, she tried to free herself, but she soon gave up and started crying.
"I won't leave you. It doesn't matter how much you try to convince me. I know you love me and I'm persistent."
"You'll get tired of it sooner or later."
"Never," he said wholeheartedly and gently kissed her head. And Clarisse... she just let the tears flood her eyes. She was happy for a brief moment, but deep inside she was deathly scared…
To be continued…
