Chapter 9
Just when Alex had resigned herself to death, a rush of heat and pressure pressed them down even lower to the deck. The ship was vibrating so hard that Alex was sure it would fall apart. Was this what black holes were like once you'd fallen through?
Despite the fear of what she might see, Alex looked up to blink in surprise. Beyond the bow of the ship were the same stars that they had been heading for before this whole supernova business. Behind them the black hole was still sucking everything nearby into its empty grasp, but in front of them was free space, with nothing holding them back.
For a moment, everyone was silent, awed that they'd escaped and that they were still alive and breathing. Only a second later everyone shouted and jumped for joy, some hopping into a jig and others doing cartwheels in happiness. Jim laughed and lifted Alex from the deck, spinning her around just as he'd always used to. Alex couldn't help but giggle madly as the fear melted to be replaced with uncontrolled relief, clinging to him as she got dizzy.
When the boy finally set her down she wobbled a bit but braced herself, just in time for Morph to float over and collapse into a mushy pile in her hands. She grinned and rubbed his head fondly as Jim chuckled at the blob. Finally, the still well-composed Captain came down the stairs. She congratulated them all for their bravery in the face of death, and Silver for his Cabin Boy's well-done job with the lifelines. Jim and Silver grinned and nudged each other playfully, and for once, Alex felt no jealousy in watching the action. She still didn't trust Silver, but it was hard not to like him a little bit after all this. She simply smiled at their antics, stroking the still quivering Morph with a thumb to calm him.
"All hands accounted for Mr. Arrow?" The Captain asked. "Mr. Arrow?" But for once, there was no gravely 'yes ma'am' to be heard. Alex looked around to see others doing the same, but there was no sign of the large rocky man. Finally, Scroop came forward, holding a very familiar tricorn hat.
"I'm afraid Mr. Arrow has been lost." He said, the sadness in his voice sending a chill up Alex's spine. "His lifeline was not secured." Alex couldn't believe it. Arrow couldn't be gone! He'd been so strong and steady, a pillar of strength she'd admired and looked up to. He'd been so easy to respect, she could hardly believe it was even possible for him to die.
And now…Scroop was blaming Jim? She turned to look at her friend, biting her lip at the horror in his eyes. No…no it couldn't be! She knew Jim would never shirk his duties when they were important as this! People's lives had been at stake, she knew he would have taken care to check each and every rope tied to the main mast.
Jim shook his head, protesting the accusation. He spun and shoved his way through the crowd, determined to prove himself innocent…only to stop short at the sight of a single empty rung. Alex's chin quivered slightly as her friend's face fell and the truth settled in. As he stared in guilt, Alex looked at the others. Most wore masks of sadness and regret, even Silver's emotions seemed genuine. Only Scroop stood out. He had a tiny but very real smile on his face. Her eyes narrowed with suspicion as she looked away. No…not even Scroop would be that horrible…would he? She shivered slightly as she wondered if maybe Scroop had done something to "help" Mr. Arrow's lifeline come undone.
Not that it mattered…she couldn't prove anything. She wasn't even sure if that was the case. For all she knew, Scroop was innocent and just happened to not care that the first mate had died.
Amelia sadly spoke a few words in honor of the fallen officer. Alex could hardly concentrate on the speech, too busy worrying for her friend. She knew he'd take the accident badly, blaming himself. It was something he did a lot…even when he hadn't had any control over things.
When the Captain turned to return to her cabin, Alex didn't move. She glanced at Jim, who still looked too upset to speak properly. She'd have to wait until later to talk. And then she had to wonder…did she really want to comfort him? He'd been happily ignoring her for weeks now, why should she care if he was upset over something?
But as dinner came and went and Jim didn't show up, her worry grew. She couldn't just ignore years of friendship, no matter what kinds of idiot he'd been recently. Finally, as the last of the crew members went off to bed, she caved. She piled a plate with some food and decided to just go looking for him.
Jim was hiding out in one of the lookout posts at the stern of the ship, staring off at the stars. Despite the reflections in his eyes, she knew he wasn't really seeing them. Knowing him, he was simply replaying today in his head over and over again, and growing more depressed over it.
"You missed supper, so I brought you something." She said softly, balancing the plate on one hand as she climbed the steep staircase to the lookout. Jim didn't answer, just turning away to glare at the stars. She chewed on her lip as she sank onto a box beside him, holding the plate out.
"I'm not hungry." He said.
"Something I never thought I'd hear you say." She attempted to tease. It failed miserably and she shook her head. "You need to eat something."
Jim turned to glare at her for a second, and then in a fit of anger hit the plate out of her hands and over the side of the ship. Alex watched the food fall away from the ship until it left the gravity field and just floated and spun in place.
"I'm only trying to help." She snapped, her limited patience with the boy already almost gone. "I know it wasn't your fault."
"Not my fault? I was given one job and I couldn't even do that!" he shouted at her, not caring that she was only a foot away from him. He stood and jumped down to the deck and Alex hopped up to hurry after him. She grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, her pale blue eyes almost grey with anger.
"You know after ignoring me for the past few weeks, the least you could do is hear me out."
"Ignoring you?" he asked in disbelief. Alex could tell he was actually surprised that she was saying something about it. He'd apparently been expecting a speech about how it wasn't his fault, about how it was a mistake, and how everything would be alright. But that only fueled Alex's anger further. He had some nerve…
"Yes, ignoring me." she spat, eyes narrowed dangerously. "When was the last time you talked to me? When was the last time you stopped and said hello or checked up on me? When was the last time you even gave me a second glance? It's been weeks Jim! You're too busy with Silver and the crew to even remember I'm here!"
Jim rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, Alex. I see you every meal, it's not like I could forget about you."
Alex snorted. "Yeah right, Jim. You don't even acknowledge me at meals anymore. You grab a plate, eat, and leave. Off to follow Silver and show off or something. Did you even think about me once? While you're on your little adventures and I'm sitting in the galley with endless dirty dishes?" Tears had entered her eyes, but she was too angry to let them fall. She wasn't even sure if she was sad anymore, she wanted to show Jim just what a jerk he'd been. "You didn't even remember my birthday! I'm eighteen now Jim, do you even care? No…no you don't. You're too busy off flying with Silver, trying to impress him. You don't know how dangerous he is, you're too busy gobbling up his sob stories!"
Jim stared at her, speechless. Well…almost. "You were spying on us weren't you? I knew it, you were hiding down there right before the Supernova hit! Did it ever occur to you that you were listening in on a private conversation?"
The girl's jaw flapped in incredulity. "A private conver – ugh!" she shouted, exasperated. "Have you heard a word I've said? You've been acting as if I don't exist, and you're more upset about me accidently overhearing one measly little conversation?" Words failed her and she stepped back, shaking her head. Disappointment and sadness was overtaking the anger, and she was eager to just get away. "I didn't want to believe it Jim…but you're heartless. For the past few years, I have done everything I could to keep you out of trouble, to try and smooth things out between you and your mom. I have put up with your stupid little mood swings and kept myself for knocking your lights out at your own idiocy. And what do I get in return? Nothing. You can't even bring yourself to be my friend, can you? Not when you have such wonderful people as John Silver in your life."
She sniffed and realized that the tears had spilled over. She didn't remember it happening, but now her cheeks were damp, catching the slightest puff of air from the solar winds.
"I have cared about you more I've ever cared about anyone." She whispered, her voice nothing but a croak between her emotion and the tears. "But it's obvious you don't feel the same. I'm not worth anything to anyone, I never have been… But then I guess you've proven that already, haven't you?"
She turned and walked away, stalking down to the galley without looking back. She grabbed a brush and the soap, and started working on the new pile of dirty dishes.
Silver had watched in silence as the teens fought. Despite everything, he felt guilty for having come between them. Alex had been slowly falling apart and he hadn't even noticed. All he'd noticed was how close she was to Jim, and had sought to keep them apart. They couldn't share suspicions if they couldn't talk, after all. But…they hadn't shared anything else either. He listened as Alex's scrub brush slowed and then stopped, finally falling to the floor with a clatter. A peek through the doorway revealed the girl to be kneeling on the wooden floor, sobbing into her hands. Even now she was trying to keep quiet so no one would know. He rubbed his neck, feeling ashamed… He'd messed this up, maybe he should try and fix it.
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Jim didn't feel the happiest he'd ever felt, but Silver's words had really struck a chord somewhere. He couldn't have done anything about Arrow, as much as he wished he could have. He may never stop blaming himself a bit…he'd never know the true reason for the lifeline failing. But he also knew that he couldn't have done anything differently. And hey, at least he'd helped save Silver, right?
"Now, I'd best be getting about me watch." Silver said gruffly. "And you have something you need to do before you head to bed, my lad." The man's pointed voice told Jim that he'd overheard the argument he and Alex had had. Jim had to sigh, he hated apologizing. But he knew Silver was right and that he needed to do so.
He trudged down the steps to the galley and refrained from calling his friend's name for a moment as he searched for her in the shadows of the galley. The sound of muffled sobs reached his ears and he grimaced. That…would be his fault. He slowly went to the kitchen, following the soft sounds of crying to the back corner of the room. Alex was kneeling on the floor, a soapy scrub brush abandoned beside her on the floor. She leaned against the counter as if it was the only thing keeping her from melding with the floor. Jim chewed his lip for a second then kneeled before her, gently pulling her hands away from her face.
Alex raised her eyes and Jim saw that they were grey with emotion. Her surprise instantly turned to anger and she turned away. "I don't want to talk to you." She said flatly.
"You don't have to, just listen." Jim said. She didn't look back at him, but she also didn't get up and leave; he knew it was the most encouragement he'd be getting. He sighed and took his time sitting beside her as he searched for the right words. "Look, Alex…I don't really know what I can say. I didn't realize how badly I've been treating you lately. So much has been going on that I didn't realize how little we've seen of each other lately. Looking back, I've been pretty rotten huh?" His lame attempt at a joke backfired and Alex snorted. Jim sighed and looked at his hands, picking slightly at a scab on his finger. "I know I don't deserve it, and I'm not very good at this whole apology thing… but I'm sorry. If I'd known…or realized… I really am sorry."
"It's going to take more than a sorry for me to forgive you, Jim Hawkins." He could tell she was trying to sound stern, but her voice was little more than a whisper.
"I'll make it up to you." He promised, turning to kneel in front of her. She still refused to look at him, but he could tell she was listening. "Just trust me, and let me prove it. I'll make things better."
"Good luck with that." She said, her voice cold. Jim winced. She sounded absolutely certain that he'd fail. That he would give up. Well…he'd just have to prove her wrong. "You'd better go," she said, wiping her tears and grabbing her scrub brush. "I need to finish up here."
Jim shook his head, spotting the perfect chance to start his path to redemption. "Can I help?" He grabbed a second scrub brush as Alex raised an eyebrow at him. Her eyes had warmed back to their usual pale blue, and it was a surprisingly comforting sight.
"I guess so."
"Good, then we'll be done in half the time and we can both get some sleep."
Alex didn't reply…but she did hand him the first plate on the next stack of plates. Jim smiled grimly, and began to scrub.
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I've come to the conclusion that I am a horrible person, because I LOVE writing fights XD I don't really get angry with people. Ever. So I guess this is my outlet =P Also, as previous readers will likely notice, there was a pretty major thing cut out of this chapter! Don't worry, it'll come eventually, but not any time soon, so you'll just have to wait :P
Please review and tell me what you think! Rewriting is much more fun when I know that people are enjoying the story :)
Your Humble Authoress,
Whisperwings
