Mr Darcy had been joined on his morning wander by Miss Bingley. After the usual observations on the colour of Miss Bingley's dress (which was lime green today), the weather, and Mr Darcy's health (fair to middling), Miss Bingley began thus;

"Now, my dear Mr Darcy, you simply must help me."

"In what way can I be of assistance, madam?"

"Well, I was standing in the greetings card shop on Meryton high street, and I simply could not decide which 'congratulations on your engagement' card to buy."

"Once again, in what way can I be of assistance?"

"Well, I didn't know if Miss Elizabeth and you would prefer one with love hearts on, or champagne, or teddy bears. If you like the singing ones, or the ones with badges, or a personalised one off the internet…"

"What are you talking of?"

"Engagment cards!"

"We're not engaged!"

"No, but I'm sure it's imminent, and I do like to be on top of these things."

"I said she had nice eyes! It does not mean that I want to marry her!"

"Nonsense. If you're serious, then the whole affair is quite settled."

Mr Darcy rolled his eyes and gave up. Miss Bingley continued on happily for half an hour before they ran across Mrs Hurst and Miss Elizabeth herself. The latter returned to the house, and he spent another ten minutes in uninspiring conversation with the ladies she'd abandoned him with.