Disclaimer: Not my property, unfortunately. All rights belong to.... whomever they belong!

Rating: PG-13 (overall NC-17)

Full Circle - Beth's Story

Chapter 9

Mick answered the door almost immediately, causing me to raise my eyebrows somewhat.

"Hey, were you keeping a lookout?" I asked, meaning it as a joke.

"No..." he answered, looking slightly embarrassed, like he'd been caught out, "but I can feel when you're near…." He took a step back, gesturing for me to come inside.

Well that certainly explained a lot. "Wow.. have you always been able to do that? Or is this something new?" I asked, walking over to the kitchen with the bag of groceries.

"I think it's the blood. Maybe….. I'm not sure exactly. The first time it happened was after that time in the desert…." his voice trailed off, and I could see he was still uncomfortable talking about it.

"When you fed on me." I said, deliberately. "Mick, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. You were dying. I had the means to save you. End of story. You drank my blood last night without a problem, and it was wonderful. In fact it was more that wonderful, it was………" I gestured with my hands, at a loss for words to describe how it had made me feel.

"That was different. I wasn't feeding. It was a part of.." he paused, looking for the right word, "….making love. One we both enjoyed. I doubt you felt anything like that the first time." He started emptying out the contents of the grocery bag and looked aghast as he took out a jar of Marmite

"Ugh! You eat this stuff?" he grimaced. "I remember an old army buddy of mine trying to get me to eat Marmite sandwiches when we were stationed in Great Britain during the war. Revolting! Where did you even get it?"

Snatching it out of his hand, I briskly put it away in the cupboard. "Well, it's just as well you don't have to eat it then! Maybe I'll smear it over my neck when I'm not in the mood to be bitten!"

He raised his eyebrows, laughing. "That would work."

"Anyway, to answer your question…. no, I didn't feel anything like that the first time. In fact it wasn't very pleasant at all." I frowned, remembering the intense pain, and the strange feeling of hating what was happening, whilst at the same time relishing every moment of it

"That was probably because you were feeling what I was feeling.." Mick looked down, his brows knitted together in a frown. "That's generally what makes a bite good. Drinking fresh blood is like a rush, it gives you a high, makes you feel on top of the world, and that's what communicates itself to whoever you're drinking from."

"You hated having to feed from me didn't you?"

He didn't answer me, but the look on his face told me all I needed to know, and instinctively I went over and put my arms around him, hugging him tight.

He hugged me back, burying his face in my hair and breathing in deep. For a long while we stood like that, just holding each other, until finally I pulled back and reached up to place a soft kiss against the corner of his mouth.

"Okay….." I said, determined to lighten the mood, "anyone for Marmite sandwiches?"

He laughed then, his whole face creasing up, as he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me in for a long lingering kiss.

I was just starting to want a whole lot more than kissing when he released me and turned back to the grocery unpacking. Sneaking me a sideways glance, an evil grin on his face, he asked "What?"

"You are a terrible tease Mick St. John," I grumped, picking up a carton of orange juice and putting it in the refrigerator, as far away as possible from the pile of blood bags stacked haphazardly on the top shelf.

The shopping all put away, Mick made me some tea and poured himself a glass of A-positive, and we settled down on the couch, Mick at one end, and me at the other, facing each other. I kicked off my shoes and, leaning back, put my feet up in Mick's lap. I got the raised eyebrow look as he looked down at my feet and back up again. "You do know that vampires have very sensitive noses, don't you?" he teased. "Hard afternoon's shopping?"

Scowling at him, I went to remove them, but he caught me before I could pull away, smirking slightly, and settled them back on his lap, massaging in small circles on the soles, which felt absolutely heavenly on my tired feet.

Settling back to enjoy the foot massage, I explained where I'd been all afternoon. "Simone wanted to go dress shopping for her birthday party, which incidentally we're both invited to, and she asked me if I'd go with her. Josef let her loose with his credit card, so we had a great time deciding how best to spend his money."

"Ah…clothes shopping. That explains why you were so long." he smiled.

"Yeah.." I took a deep breath, thinking that now was as good a time as any to bring the subject up, "Simone and I did some talking too…… did you know she asked Josef if he'd turn her?"

Mick's hands paused in their activities on my feet. "Er… yeah, he did mention something about it."

I looked Mick straight in the eye. "She said he avoided the answer."

Mick just nodded slowly, not saying anything.

"It got me to thinking about us," I continued, watching Mick's reaction. He was starting to look uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was heading, but I was determined to have this out with him. "You told me once that you wouldn't turn me, even if it meant letting me die. Did you mean that?"

"Beth…." he put my feet back on the couch and turned to face me fully, "where is this coming from? I thought we'd been through this? You told me you didn't ever want to have to make the decision, and you know I don't want to turn you."

"I don't want you to." I said, unsure even as I said it. "Not now anyway. But not even to save me? Not even if I wanted it?" Suddenly I felt close to tears.

"Beth…" he spread his arms, at a loss for words.

"I need to know Mick." I could feel the tears threatening to fall now. "If I asked you to turn me, if I really wanted it… I mean… not like before when I was high on the Black Crystal, but if it was something I really felt ready to do. Would you do it?" I choked out the last part, holding my breath as I waited for his reply.

For long moments he didn't answer, just looking at me, as though unsure what his answer was going to be. At last he replied, "Beth, I honestly don't know.."

"Is it because you wouldn't want me as a vampire? Do you only love me because I'm human?" The tears were falling in earnest now. "Because I want you either way. Vampire or human, it's you I love, not what you are."

He closed his eyes, putting his hand to his forehead as if in pain. "Beth, being a vampire has a lot of downsides. I've learned to live with it, but it's not something I'd want to inflict on someone and have them suffer the way I did. There's just no way you could have any idea unless you experience it."

This was not the answer I'd been hoping for, although I'd half expected it, and I felt my heart sink. "Is that a no then?"

He looked at me then, an unhappy look on his face. "No, it's not a no. It's a maybe, and that's all I can give you for now. But if there's a way I could ever become human again, I'd do it. I'd do it in an instant, and I wouldn't go back, not for anything. You were right about being human meaning that sometimes you lose people you love, but you have to realise that the same can be true of being a vampire."

I nodded, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. I did understand, but it didn't hurt any less because of it. Leaning over, I took Mick's hand in mine and squeezed it, feeling his fingers wrap themselves around mine and squeeze me back. I wished for all the world that I'd never begun this conversation. Sometimes it was better not to ask. Not to know. Wasn't it?

"Maybe I should go," I said, leaving being the last thing in the world that I wanted to do, "I should never have put you on the spot like that." I started to stand up, finding my hand still caught tightly in Mick's, and relief washed over me as I felt him pull me towards him until I fell into his lap.

"You are not getting away that easily," he said, cradling me in his arms, "I nearly lost you once already, and it's not happening again. I love you Beth. I don't know how exactly, but we'll work something out. Let's just take it one step at a time. We'll get there." He raised his hand up, stroking my hair, and leaned down to place the softest of kisses against my lips.

Returning his kiss, I reached up and pulled his head down to mine, opening my mouth under his and feeling my stomach turn to liquid at the touch of his tongue against mine.

"Make love to me Mick," I said, needing more than ever to feel him inside me.

He smiled, his slate blue eyes crinkling at the corners as he gazed into my eyes. "Okay." he replied.

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To be continued…..
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