For those who keep asking whether of not this is ending. No, there is another couple of chapters left yet. Possibly 6ish. Unless you all want it to end :P

Chapter Nine: The Cruel Reality

April 15th 1912, early dusk.

Disoriented, Rose opened her eyes and squinted heavily, wondering where she was. She couldn't feel her face it was that cold, ice hung in her hair. She was surrounded by ocean and what seemed to be icebergs. The sky was orange with hints of blue and other clues of dawn breaking with such a beautiful sight before her, she contemplated if the night before had been just a dream.

She remembered her and Jack's words from the night before as they had watched the sunset.

"What a beautiful sunset." Jack beamed as he led Rose to the railing.

"It is. I wish I could witness every sunset and sunrise."

"You will. I'll make sure of it."

Rose laughed. "How will you?"

"I don't know. We'll awake early in the wee hours, watch the sunrise, and bring us into a wonderful new day."

This wasn't how she had wanted to witness anything. She felt physically and mentally drained. When she opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out. She was cold and damp. Her hair was matted and knotted, her eyes were puffy, and her face was deathly pale. Sitting up a little more, Rose adjusted her eyes to see a ship with the word Carpathia written across the side. It was a lot smaller than the Titanic and people on the ship were looking over the railing down at her and the others on the lifeboat.

An officer on board the Carpathia lowered a rope ladder down the side of the ship and passengers of the lifeboats were allowed to climb up if they were strong enough. Several other lifeboats rowed slowly towards the Carpathia, the passengers were all as lifeless as Rose.

"Rose…there's help here." Rose heard Jack's voice beside her and looked to see him lying there, his hand holding hers. His face was deathly pale and his voice weak.

Rose smiled the best she could.

"I'm so cold." He croaked a little. Rose gently stroked his face and felt a single tear roll from her eye, memories still fresh from just hours before as the Titanic had sunk. That night would live with her for the rest of her life.

"I know, Jack. But help is here."

Jack nodded. His body felt as though it couldn't move. He longed for warmth. His fingers wouldn't bend and his body was stiff. It felt like iron and it was difficult and painful to move.

After boarding the Carpathia, Jack and Rose were given plenty of warm blankets and were sent to the ship's infirmary to be checked for signs of hypothermia by the ship's doctor. Just the feeling of being warm was a luxury for both Jack and Rose.

The doctor examined Rose. She was fine, or as fine as she could be considering. The word the doctor had used was 'lucky.' Jack, however, was diagnosed with mild hypothermia. His hands had been exposed to the cold for a long time, and for now he was unable to move his hands or fingers. He was asked to remain in the ship's infirmary for just one night so an eye could kept on him.

Outside, survivors cried out in pain as they grieved their lost loved ones. Rose stumbled past widows and fatherless children. Just the sight of these people was enough to make Rose break down in floods of tears. She wouldn't allow Jack to see her like this. Taking a seat up on deck, Rose simply placed her face in her hands and sobbed.

How could this have happened? All of those innocent people dying for no reason. How come the lifeboats were launched half full? Why didn't the ship avoid the collision? Why had God done this? So many unanswered questions. Would there ever be an absolution? Rose's next moves were uncertain, too. As soon as the ship docked, there would be a media frenzy. People would instantly recognize her. Jack had shown her how to live, how she could live if she was to be with him. But now he was lying in the infirmary with hypothermia. He hadn't stopped shivering for hours and was almost unable to speak, just like so many others.

Tears spilled from her eyes at the heart-wrenching pain she felt, like no other she had experienced.

Rose returned to Jack in the infirmary, feeling a sense of refreshment. Rose spotted Jack as he sat up in a bed, attempting to feed himself some soup. His fingers were numb and he could barely bend his joints. He was like a ninety-year-old man with arthritis. Rose came to Jack's side and gently stroked the hand which had remained by his side. He was cold. Just the simple task of picking up a spoon had proven to not be so simple. After several attempts, Jack gave up and threw the spoon into the bowl. He felt such an utter fool. He couldn't even pick up a spoon.

"Look at me, Rose. I can't even use a spoon. I'm useless," Jack snapped in a tone Rose had not heard from him before.

"Jack, don't worry. You'll be able to move soon, and you're most certainly not useless." Jack saw Rose's face. She did everything to attempt to raise his spirits even a little. She didn't deserve to be snapped at just because of his own frustration.

"I'm sorry, Rose."

"I know how frustrating it is, but be thankful."

"I am, Rose. God knows how much. I am thankful for my life and for you." Rose smiled and gently kissed his hand. She picked up the spoon and stirred the soup before raising the spoon to his lips. Smiling, he allowed her to feed him.

"Jack, while you slept last night, I prayed. I prayed for you and for us. I prayed for all the people lost, for the wounded to be healed. I watched you as you slept, Jack. This morning I awoke next to a man, something I have never done before. I wasn't even scared, just overwhelmed."

"Just to know you're here with me and safe means everything to me, Rose." Gently, Rose stroked Jack's hair away from his face. He was still pale but his eyes shone through more than before. She loved him. She knew that now. She wanted to share her life with him.

"This is what I want, Jack."

"What?" He frowned.

"Just…a simple kind of life. No complications, no rules, to be free. I know it's impossible, Jack. But it's what I want."

"It's possible, Rose. We'll go anywhere you want. Santa Monica? We'll do what we spoke of. You don't need money to be happy, Rose. I'd give it all up for you…I'd give Boston up."

"No, Jack. Not your home."

Jack grasped Rose's hand the best he could. He kissed it gently and closed his eyes for a second, remembering what had happened just days before-they had declared their love for each other. For the first time in Jack's life, he'd felt that closeness to a woman and he had never wanted that evening with Rose to end. But then events altered circumstances.

"Rose, I'd have died for you when that ship sank. Four days it took for me to fall in love with you."

"I know. It seems so sudden, yet so long ago."

Rose began to reminisce about the past week. Just one week ago she had been in London, alone in a hotel room, frightened to her wits' end of what her next move would be, full of fear after Cal's evil attack.

"Rose, what about Cal?" Jack hesitated. This wasn't something either of them wished to speak about, but they knew they had to. "What about your mother?"

Rose bowed her head, remembering her mother's words to her in the telegram.

Rose, how can you be so foolish as to abandon Mr. Hockley? You are his wife in practice. You should honor him, young lady. Do not return without the presence of Mr. Hockley.

Ruth DeWitt Bukater

"She doesn't want me, Jack, just the money and the luxury. Maybe it was all she ever wanted." She was used to abandonment. Her father had died. So had her beloved grandmother. Her mother was never a good one. "As far as my mother is concerned, her daughter died on the Titanic. As for Cal, I can only hope he never finds me."

"Oh, he won't, Rose. For I know places in the world he wouldn't dream of searching. It's just us now, Rose. Is that what you want?"

Rose took his hand. "It's all I'll ever want, Jack. Just your love."

Gently touching her cheek, Jack grazed her lips with his. "You have it, Rose. Endlessly forever."

A single tear rolled down Rose's cheek. She felt tired, hungry, and cold, but most of all, she felt love, an overwhelming sense of love. At that moment, she realised she had not yet announced her love to him. She did love him. Of course she did. Once again, Jack kissed her cheek softly before leaning his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and more tears came.

"God, I love you, Jack," she whispered, almost inaudibly. Jack thought he was hearing things until he realised that she had actually just said those words to him. She loved him just as he loved her. A smile crept across his face and he stroked Rose's hair.

That night, Rose fell asleep once again by Jack's side. By the next morning, most feeling had returned to Jack's hands. Although he still ached in places he thought didn't exist, he felt well, considering what he and Rose had been through in the last few days. Jack left the infirmary at dinnertime and for the first time in two days he felt the fresh air. News was circling on board that the ship would be docking the next day, which was something he was glad to hear. He couldn't wait to get Rose to safety. He couldn't wait for them to begin their lives together.

By sunset, Rose and Jack had taken a stroll on deck. They had remembered their promise to witness every sunset together.

She watched the sea from afar and she still found it to be beautiful after everything which it had claimed. Fathers and mothers and children. She clutched Jack's hand. Luck didn't even play a part in this game she realised. It was fate.

"I do hope Madeleine is all right. I haven't seen her on board…or JJ." Rose broke the silence. She felt her heart sink, praying to God nothing had happened to either of them.

Jack, too, was worried a little for his friends Helga, Tommy, and Fabrizio.

"Maybe we should check the survivors' list, Rose. Just to be sure," Jack suggested.

"I don't know, Jack. I don't want to face reality that one of my best friends may have lost her husband or even her baby."

Jack nodded. "I know. But we have to know.''

Rose allowed Jack to lead her indoors, where he had asked to check the survivors' list. He was led into second class, where a steward with a clipboard was busy taking names.

"Excuse me, sir." Jack interrupted the man chatting to a lady with a small, crying child. "I'm sorry, but could you please give me some information about my friends?"

The steward nodded and pulled away from the woman. "Of course. What name are you looking for, sir?"

"Fabrizio di Rossi, or Mrs. Helga di Rossi?"

The man looked through three sheets of lists before shaking his head slowly, sorrow in his eyes. Jack shook his head mournfully. "How about Tommy Ryan?"

Again the man shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir, although they could be on another ship." The man attempted to give Jack hope, but it was no use at all.

"Madeleine Astor?" Rose piped in hopefully.

The man scanned his papers and nodded his head. "Yes. Mrs. Astor is resting in the parlour suite. She wishes to not be disturbed. Her husband, John Jacob Astor, is not listed here, ma'am."

"No. JJ can't be gone. He can't leave Maddie." Rose felt hot tears run from her eyes. Jack pulled on her hand and led her away from the sight of young women nursing their newly fatherless children.

"She can't have this baby alone. JJ was nothing but a good husband. How could he leave her?" Rose cried.

The cruel reality of what had happened sinking in slowly. She gripped Jack to stop her sinking to her own knees as she struggled with her own pain.