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Chapter 9: Journey to the Center of Giant Breadbug!
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* Later that night, Segmented Crawbster is nervously trying to go to sleep*

Segmented Crawbster: It's just... Not the same... I miss Mr. Whiskers... I miss warm milk... I miss- *suddenly stops and notices something* Wait a minute... is that... * Picks up The Silencer* A doll head? It's cute, but horrifyingly disturbing... And yet... I can't look away... Oh well! *snuggles with it and goes to sleep*

*several hours later, Segmented Crawbster awakens to see all the bosses starring at him.*

Titan Dweevil: I KNEW it! Segmented Crawbster was the theif after all!

Segmented Crawbster: Theif!? What in the blazes are you-

*Segmented Crawbster looks down and gasps. Instead of The Silencer, he is snuggling with a bottle cap. He backs away slowly from the other bosses.*

Segmented Crawbster: You guys... You've GOT to believe me! Somebody switched it while I was sleeping! I hate shiny stuff! You all know that!

Titan Dweevil: Hate shiny stuff? Then that could mean only one thing.... *Pulls out sandwich fixin's* He's a witch! Someone get sand and we'll have lunch!

Raging Long-Legs: *on drumset* Bam bum bum CH!

Doodlebug's voice: Mister? Mister?

*Segmented Crawbster wakes up and sees Doodlebug right in front of him*

Segmented Crawbster: Whew... Yeah Doodle, what is it?

Doodlebug: I have a question that nobody wants to answer.... Will you answer it?

Segmented Crawbster: Yeah, sure.... I don't see why not...

Doodlebug: Mister Crawbster... How would you like to DIE NOW!?

Segmented Crawbster: Wait, what was that last part? I had something in my none-existant ear.

Doodlebug: I mean, it's just going to be a matter of time before all the bosses are slaughtered by the Pikmin. You guys haven't made a single preventive measure against them.... EVER. You're too caught up in your own little lives to realize that a bunch of singing carrots with conquer the world! And besides, LET GO OF MY DS YOU STUPID SLUG!

*Segmented Crawbster wakes up again and finds himself in a middle of a meeting*

Segmented Crawbster: Woah, that's the last time I ever dose off in the middle of a meeting, those dreams were funkay!

Raging Long-Legs: Hey everybody! Segmented's awake! You know what that means...

Everybody but Segmented: It's time to pinch his cheeks!

Segmented Crawbster: AHHH! *is pinched* It's my childhood all over again! Get them off!

*Segmented Crawbster wakes up again (sick of this yet? Don't worry, it's over.) to find Emperor Bulblax pinching him on the cheek*

Segmented Crawbster: *Throws Emperor off with his meaty claw* Get off of me you dang dirty bulborb!

Emperor Bulborb: Mommy! The mean crab thing said I was dirty!

Widow Empress: Well, maybe if you took more baths others wouldn't point out the obvious so much.

Emperor Bulblax: But mommy! You never take baths!

Everyone: *Gasp*

Widow Empress: Nonesense. Would you really like to watch me take a bath?

Everyone: Heck no!

Widow Empress: You're just jealous because I'm beautiful.

Everyone: *throws up*

Emperor Bulblax: You see mommy, if you weren't such an ugly old hag, maybe others wouldn't point it out so much.

Widow Empress: -_-... You're grounded.

Emperor Bulblax: No I'm not!

Widow Empress: Hmm... Yeah, you're right, you've learned your lesson.

Emperor Bulblax: No, I haven't!

Widow Empress: Don't be silly ^_^.

Emperor Bulblax: Mom, why can't you stop acting like such a-

Titan Dweevil: MUHUGWAHAHAHBWAHAHAHA!!! It is finished!

Ranging Bloyster: What's finished?

Raging Long-Legs: The plan to solve our little problem! You see, we shall go INTO Giant Breadbug!

Waterwraith: *shrieks* NOOO! NOT THE DARK PLACE! ANYTHING BUT THE DARK PLACE! *gets in fetal position*

Pileated Snagret: No offense or anything- Wait a second, I do mean offense. That has got to be the single DUMBEST thing I've ever heard.

Raging Long-Legs: I know it sounds crazy, but Titan here will show off how we plan to do it. Titan?

Titan Dweevil: Yes... For you all see... BEHOLD! *lifts curtain* I bring you this fantastic cutrain! Can we start the bidding at 100 Pokos?

Emperor Bulblax: 200!

Doodlebug: 1,000!

Titan Dweevil: SOLD! To th little hyperactive kid who farts like a mule!

Pileated Snagret: Doodlebug, you know you can't pay for that.

Doodlebug: HA! Obviously, you've never seen my... FINANCE FART! *farts*

Money: *comes flying out of.... err... You know where* (THE LIGHT!) (I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!) (And it is good.)

Ranging Bloyster: *looks out the kitchen window* How the heck did they fly in randomnly like that?

Doodlebug: Great question! And the answer is... Titan?

Titan Dweevil: You see, kitchen windows are used all the time in ever day life, from cooling off cats to washing pies, but the most important thing about them is- *is hit in the face by shoe*

Pileated Snagret: BOOOO! Last time you gave a speech like this, I had crazy dreams about gnomes dancing on trampolines! No more preaching stupidity!

Ranging Bloyster: Wait a minute, how'd you throw a shoe if you don't have any arms?

Pileated Snagret: Very observant! And the answer is... Titan?

Titan Dweevil: This beautiful shiny pen! *holds up pen* Let's start the bidding at 500 Pokos!

Ranging Bloyster: Oh! Oh! 700 Pokos right here!

Titan Dweevil: Anyone? Anyone at all?

Ranging Bloyster: ME YOU IDIOT! I want that pen!

Titan Dweevil: Nobody wants it? Not even Ranging?

Ranging Bloyster: I SAID I'D GIVE YOU 700 POKOS FOR IT!

Titan Dweevil: What's that? You'll give me the official title of "Ruler of the Shiny Stuff"? SOLD! To the stupid slug up front!

Segmented Crawbster: Listen, I don't see what the big freakin' deal is about the title.

Titan Dweevil: It can do stuff that money can't.

Pileated Snagret: You're right! It can make you look like an idiot!... Wait, no... Money can do that too... So what can it do?

Titan Dweevil: It can buy friends.

Segmented Crawbster: That's the dumbest thing I've ev-

Ranging Bloyster: Nah, he's got a point there.

Raging Long-Legs: I think that's enough of this meeting's auction, now we can start showing off our plan. Titan? Will you please show the audience the notes?

Titan Dweevil: Certainly *pulls down chart and starts pointing at it* You see, here, we have mean old Mr. Pie-chart. Pie-chart is a grump. Why, just the other day Mr. Squiggly-line wanted to borrow a cup of sugar, and do you know what he did? HE SICKED HIS ITALIAN PLUMBER ON HIM! As you can see here, -plumber is jumping from bar to bar trying to-

Waterwraith: Titan? One question?

Titan Dweevil: Yes?

Waterwraith: Did you do all that by yourself?

Titan Dweevil: Almost, Raging helped with the Italian Plumber.

Raging Long-Legs: Yeah, couldn't help myself there ^_^.

Waterwraith: Well, there's my tax dollars at work...

Tax dollars: *are being lazy in Florida*

Waterwraith:... Or not.

MAL: *shoots chart* (That's enough stupidity for one day, thank you.)

Disco Ball: (MAL? Did I ever tell you how attractive you look while you mercilessly blow things up with that laser-guided machine gun of yours?)

MAL: (Nope.)

Discor Ball: (Oh, ok, just making sure. I know I'd look like a complete idiot if I did.)

MAL: (Yeah, you would)

Titan Dweevil: Raging?

Raging Long-Legs: Yes?

Titan Dweevil: What the heck is your bro doing to my girlfriend?

Raging Long-Legs: It's hard to tell. The only things I've ever seen him do are shoot stuff and sleep.

Titan Dweevil: Ahh... The natural cycle of life...

Raging Long-Legs: Right, right, anyway, allow me to show you all... *turns on light in the background which reveals a giant machine*

Titan Dweevil: It's shiny! Don't forget it!

*Right, it's shiny. And big. And there's a control panel and a pad that all the bosses could easily fit on.*

Raging Long-Legs: Right, so using this machine, we will be shrunken down to a very cellular level and enter Giant Breadbug's body, and vanquish the emotion of pure evil that lurks inside of him. As there is no doubt that only a cruel hearted one with the desire to kill could do such a horrid thing to him and his other emotions.

Waterwraith: Wait, does that mean all of us?

Ranging Bloyster: Why? What's wong? Is the poow wittle waterwuss ascawed?

Waterwraith: No, it's just that with no one out here, who's gonna beam us out when we're done?

Ranging Bloyster: Lemme guess, you want to be the first to volunteer because you're scawed? *turns to Raging* But seriously, if there's an open spot out here, I'll take it.

Raging Long-Legs: Don't worry guys, I already got it covered. You see, I told Doodlebug to come to this meeting, because he'll be operating the machinery. Titan's briefing him right now.

Titan Dweevil: Now Doodlebug, pay attention! This button here... Can you tell me what it is?

Doodlebug: It's shiny!

Titan Dweevil: CORRECT! And what about this one?

Doodlebug: It's shiny!

Titan Dweevil:....Annnd?

Doodlebug: But it isn't nearly as shiny as the other one!

Titan Dweevil: Congrats! You now know everything about this thing that I know, and I designed it.

Pileated Snagret: I'm just checking, I'm included in all of your wills right?

Raging Long-Legs: I think so, why?

Pileated Snagret: I'm just making sure, so when- I mean if -a horrible accident occurs, I'll have something to remember you all by. (That's right, remember 'em by... *snickers*)

Raging Long-Legs: Alright... Before we go, I need to warn all of you...

Segmented Crawbster: You mean that this thing will collapse upon us and kill us the second we use it?

Raging Long-Legs: Exactly. And there's something else.

Segmented Crawbster: What?

Raging Long-Legs: Well, seeing how we didn't have time to perfect this machine... When it shrinks something, it seriously messes up their mind. No, it doesn't harm it, but we'll start to behave much, MUCH, more different than we usually do than when we're normal size. You have been warned...

Doodlebug: *at controls* WEEE! Buttons are fun!

Titan Dweevil: *ahem*

Doodlebug: Oh... Right, sorry: WEEE! Shiny buttons are fun!

Titan Dweevil: ^_^ You have learned well, grasshopper.

*all the bosses step on to the pad*

Raging Long-Legs: Ready? Throw the switch Doodlebug!

Doodlebug: *throws switch and it hits Emperor Bulblax on the head*

Raging Long-Legs: No, the other switch!

Doodlebug: Oh, right. *pulls switch, and all the bosses vanish*

*Nununununnnuuununuunununuuunuunununuunu*

*Titan Dweevil appears in the control room of a battle ship. He has a finely combed moustache.*

Titan Dweevil: Well then... I seem to still be in one piece.... Rather blinding in here with all the shiny gadgets though...

MAL: *appears wearing a top hat* Pip-pip, cherrio good chap, strapping day isn't it?

Titan Dweevil: Yes it is.

MAL: Hmm... My... What do you call them... Fillius hasn't showed up yet, has he?

Titan Dweevil: Your brother? Nope, not yet anyhow.

MAL: I do say chap, whoever designed this room has some serious issues to work out. Why, it's almost blinding!

Raging Long-Legs: *appears wearing a propeller hat* WOOO! DO-IT-AGAIN! DO-IT-AGAIN!

Titan Dweevil: It seems you enjoyed your trip.

Raging Long-Legs: Yep! I can't wait 'till next fall! *takes out minature drum-set* Bah-bum-bum-CH!

MAL: Well then, it seems my brother's new found wit is a sharp as his face.

Emperor Bulblax: *appears with white frizzy hair and glasses* And my wit is as sharp as the mightiest sword in all the land!

MAL: Now, now, good chap, violence is the way of the barbarian, formerly known as "the French".

Waterwraith: *appears wearing a knight's helmet and holding a sword* How else are you supposed to smite the evil!? Evil shall be destroyed! None shall survive my mighty blade! *starts swinging sword around madly*

MAL: Pip-pip, cherrio, even so, chap, I shan't harm a fly.

Fly: *French accent* Ze queen Ez Joe MOMA!

MAL: *shoots fly* Except for the French. I hate the French.

Emperor Bulblax: So, can we get going yet?

Titan Dweevil: Nope, we have to wait for the rest to arrive.

Emperor Bulblax: But these idiots are lowering my staggering IQ! My head hurts from their stupidity!

Pileated Snagret: *appears wearing a white shirt that says "Don't worry, be happy! :)"* Your head hurts? You can use mine!

Titan Dweevil: Errr.... No thanks...

Pileated Snagret: How about my spleen? I'll pay you 25 dollars to use my spleen!

Ranging Bloyster: *appears wearing sunglasses* But don't you see the truth?

Titan Dweevil: What?

Ranging Bloyster: *turns dramatically* There is no spleen.

MAL: I say chap, what do you mean "no spleen"?

Ranging Bloyster: There is no spleen. Just like you have no face.

Raging Long-Legs: OHH! BURNED!

Ranging Bloyster: And just like you have no brain.

Raging Long-Legs: OHH! DOUBLE-BURNED!

Titan Dweevil: Ok, this idiot's starting to get on my nerves.

Emperor Bulblax: Pardon my French-

MAL: *snarls*

Emperor Bulblax: Err... I mean, pardon my English, but which one do you mean?

Titan Dweevil: Touche-

MAL: *snarls again at Titan*

Titan Dweevil: I mean good point.

Segmented Crawbster: *appears with huge anime eyes* Awww! Look at the adorable little scientist! *starts pinching Emperor Bulblax's cheeks*

Emperor Bulblax: *somehow throws Segmented Crawbster off of him* What do you think I am, some cute little rodent created for the sole prupose of snuggling and being irresistible?

Segmented Crawbster:... Yes.

Titan Dweevil: You know, you have to respect his brutal honesty.

Widow Empress: *appears, extremely skinny and with black hair covering face* Brutal.. Such a nice word... Dark, wretched, and evil... like pain...

Emperor Bulblax: Well, my mom hasn't changed that much-

Widow Empress: I love famine. It's so painful. I've been starving myself. It's fun to put pain on yourself.

Segmented Crawbster: EEEECK! *hides behind Waterwraith* Make the bad lady go away!

Waterwraith: EVIL! MUST....SMITE..... EVIL!!! *leaps at Widow Empress*

Widow Empress: -_-.... *spits at Waterwraith*

Waterwraith: *suddenly stops* AHH! My pure water has been contaminated by EVIL! AHHH! * runs around in circles screaming*

Pileated Snagret: Seriously woman, you have some issues you need to work out.

Widow Empress: Yes, I've noticed I'm not nearly enough depressed in life, but I have been working on poetry to express the pains of being misunderstood.

Raging Long-Legs: More like the pains of being a FREAK!

Emperor Bulblax:... *coughs* No comment.

Titan Dweevil: Is this everybody?

Emperor Bulblax: I don't care, I'm blasting off anyway. I can't take these guys much longer.

*the ship starts shaking and blasts off*

Titan Dweevil: Say, where are we anyway?

Emperor Bulblax: In one of his stomaches, but the guy has so many of them it's like a maze. I need full concentration.

Ranging Bloyster: There is no maze.

Titan Dweevil: Please... Shut up Ranging....

Ranging Bloyster: There is no up.

Titan Dweevil: Tell me something: Why are you so annoying?

Ranging Bloyster: Because I choose to.

Titan Dweevil: *sighs* *whispers somehing to Waterwraith*

Waterwraith: *stares at Ranging Bloyster* EVIL! I SHALL SMITE THEE! *starts beating Ranging over the head with a baseball bat*

Ranging Bloyster: Ouch- There is - Ouch - No baseball bat - Ouch...

Emperor Bulblax: That's it, just keep on beating him until he stops moving.

Sirens: *go off* ENEMY! ENEMY! ENEMY! Dude, how many times do I have to scream it? ENEMY SHIPS APPRAOCHING!

*everybody looks out the windshield and sees two ships flying toward them*

Titan Dweevil: QUICK! Blow 'em up!

Emperor Bulblax: I would, but the idiots who designed this thing forgot to include weapons!

Raging Long-Legs: HA! They must've been the biggest idiots who ever walked the Earth.

Emperor Bulblax: That's all one of them could do, Raging.

Titan Dweevil: MAL! Blow them up!

MAL: Are they French?

Titan Dweevil: Probably not.

MAL: Then NO.

Ranging Bloyster: There are - Ouch - No enemies - ouch -...

Segmented Crawbster: *starts snuggling Emperor Bulblax* I DON'T WANNA DIE!!

Emperor Bulblax: I said DON'T SNUGGLE ME!

Pileated Snagret: You can snuggle with me if you want to :).

Segmented Crawbster: YAYZ! *snuggles*

Titan Dweevil: *takes picture* Heh heh heh... I KNOW this disturbing Kodak moment will come in handy one day...

Widow Empress: Oh, what joy is mine... To finally die...

Waterwraith: *stops beating Ranging Bloyster* My arm is tired...

Ranging Bloyster: Guys... All you have to do is believe.... Believe in yourself...

Emperor Bulblax: Will somebody PLEASE shut up this guy? I'm sick of his inspirational quotes!

Ranging Bloyster: Pfft, fine, don't believe me... I believe me... *tail starts glowing orange*

MAL: Errr... Everything okay chap?

Titan Dweevil: WOAH! guys! Check it out!

*everyone looks through the windsheild again and see the two ships shaking. Suddenly, they ram right into each other and go boom*

Ranging Bloyster: You see? There was nothing to cry about in the first place.

Titan Dweevil: Bu-.... How-.... Wha-....

Giant Breadbug: I dunno, but that was cool!

Raging Long-Legs: Sure was!

Emperor Bulblax: AH! What are you doing here!?

Giant Breadbug: *ahem* Allow me to introduce myself. I am "Hope". I snuck aboard your ship while those other two ships filled with the remaining surivivors malfunctioned and crashed into each other.

Ranging Bloyster: That's right, they malfunctioned.... _

"Hope": I know you've been wondering what happened, and who caused the corruption, and it was "Love".

Titan Dweevil: Wait-.... Wait... Wait... Wait....

"Hope": Yes?

Titan Dweevil: You mean to tell me the emotion dedicated to peace and happiness to all was the one that mercilessly killed all the other emotions?

Widow Empress: Yes. Love is evil. It is the biggest lie one can tell.

Emperor Bulblax: Nobody asked you goth-lady.

"Hope": Yeah, it happens all the time.

Pileated Snagret: *walks in with a tray filled with cookies* Heya folks!

Everyone: *stares nervously at Pileated Snagret*

Pileated Snagret: ...What? Doesn't anybody want cookies?

"Hope": Well, the only way we can defeat "Love" is to unlock "Survival". "Survival" Is the most powerful of us all, he can literally do anything. He's locked deep in the central core, which is located just a little bit to your left.

Emperor Bulblax: *looks out window* Would you fancy that...

MAL: I say, that was mighty good placement, wouldn't you say chap?

"Hope": We need to get in there, open up the lock, and get him out of there. Then, he can set everything straight in here.

*The ship stops and everyone gets off in the central core*

Titan Dweevil: Well, that was easy enough. How hard could opening this lock be?

"Love": Very hard, for I shall assure you of your death before you'll even see it.

Pileated Snagret: For a guy named "Love", you sure are violent. Whatever happened to peace on Earth and free baked goods?

"Love": This... *Three guns pop out of his body, a big, medium and small one.*

Pileated Snagret: This won't end well, will it?

"Love": No... It won't.... *fires guns, but three signes pop out of them* What the...

Big gun: "I'm on vacation"

Medium gun: "Home sick."

Small gun: "WAAAASSSAAA!"

"Love": Grrr... Fine... I don't need weapons to-

Segmented Crawbster: Awww.... He's so adorable! *starts snuggling*

"Love" Get him off! I can't breath! AHH!

Titan Dweevil: Incredible. He actually came in handy.

*Meanwhile.... In the big world*

Antenna Beetle: *Drops in* YO! I gots a message for a "Raging Long-Legs". You know where he is?

Doodlebug: *practicing farting* Nope.

Antenna Beetle: *notices machine* Hey, what does this thing do? *jumps on the pad and looks around*

Doodlebug: I dunno, I just remember pulling this lever and all the bosses vanishing... *pulls lever, and Antenna Beetle vanishes* Oops...

TO BE FIN'D